An Important Discussion on the Death Penalty

Photo: Stuff Nobody Cares About

The electric chair, lethal injection, lethal gas. The death penalty is one of the most politically charged debates still raging in our country today. Those who have been sentenced to death must have a million things running through their mind on a daily basis. I simply couldn’t imagine being dealt the strongest hand that capital punishment can play.

Of all of the insane things that those on death row might be thinking about, one of the most important things might be their last meal. According to crimemuseum.org, some of the world’s worst people chose some interesting last meals:

  • Saddam Hussein: boiled chicken, rice, and hot water with honey.
  • Timothy McVeigh: two pints of mint chocolate-chip ice cream.
  • Danny Rolling: lobster tail, butterfly shrimp, baked potato, sweet tea and strawberry cheesecake.

So, what would your last meal be? Plenty of options out there. I would assume that a prison isn’t going to let you go completely bonkers and order everything on the menu, so you would think that you’d have to be smart in what a hypothetical last meal would be. Let’s check out some popular options.

Steak

Probably fair to assume that steak would be one of the most popular choices in the last meal discussion. You’ve got your filet, ribeye, sirloin, etc. Normally I’d be a snob and say if you don’t order your steak medium rare, then you’re an idiot. But hey, if we’re talking last meal, do whatever the hell you want.

Pizza

If I was about to meet my maker, pizza would be an absolute fine choice. I’d make it a deep dish with sausage, onions, and green peppers. Side of ranch dipping sauce to spice it up, and I’d be ready for the chair. Pizza would definitely let you leave this earth with a satisfied belly.

Fried Chicken

Another fine choice. Really anything fried could fall under this category; but when I think of fried food, chicken is at the top of the list. There has to be some kind of 40-piece bucket of death out there that would put you in a food coma before being put out of your misery. Have to be honest, floating into the afterlife on the wings of some deliciously deep fried poultry seems like an ideal way to do it.

As for me, I’m not taking any of the three above options, as delicious as they all sound. If I’m on hypothetical death row (because I never plan on being on real death row), I am starving myself for a week, and ordering anywhere between 10-15 pounds of fettuccine alfredo. That’s right. Pile on the grilled chicken, broccoli, and a foot of parmesan cheese on top as well. While you’re at it, throw me a few bread sticks to pair with my pile of carbs, fatty sauce, and thick noodles. All I need is a fork and a mindset that I’m going to eat myself to death, because I know what’s waiting for me for dessert.

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