News broke Monday that the Jacksonville Jaguars are planning on signing Tim Tebow.
The Philippine-born former quarterback will once again take his talents to the NFL. The connection here, as noted by Ian Rapoport, is that the recently retired minor league baseball player’s college coach, noted jagoff Urban Meyer, is now running the show in Jacksonville.
Our prayers have been answered. Praise be to the higher power bringing Tim Tebow back into the professional sports galaxy for what will either be his sixteenth or seventeenth chance. We will all once again be baptized by Tebow-mania and blessed by sports debate shows arguing if Tebow can perform the miracle of transitioning from a quarterback to a tight end.
The football world has gone celibate of Tim Tebow for far too long; and that chastity belt is about to be busted wide open. Fans everywhere have kept the faith, for over 3,000 days, that one day our angel would descend from the clouds, throw on his shoulder pads, and once again be reincarnated as a professional football player.
It is going to be a sight to see every palm Sunday in Jacksonville this season. With Tebow’s career resurrected, every day feels like the sabbath once again. We as football fans can finally rest, part the sea of pillows on the couch, and tune into some Jacksonville Jaguars football.
Shocking, though not terribly surprising news dropped on Thursday. The Los Angeles Angels announced that they would be releasing Albert Pujols. Pujols had been with the team since 2012, signing an at the time 10 year, $240 million mega deal.
Pujols, a missed nomination for the funniest names in sports, continued a completely understandable late career downtrend this season. Through 24 games in 2021, he is hitting .198 with a .622 OPS. For reference, his first year in LA he hit .285 and .859, respectively.
However, we are not here to kick Pujols while he’s down. Father Time is undefeated (unless you’re Tom Brady), so the declining numbers we’ve seen from Pujols is nothing short of expected.
We’re here to celebrate what may be the end of one of the most spectacular baseball players in the modern era. Hand up; I’m a Cubs fan. I think enough time has passed that myself and fellow North Siders can appreciate Pujols for what he was, an absolute tank who refused to not rip your heart out at any given moment.
Let’s just break this down. In his 11 years in St. Louis, Pujols hit 445 home runs, knocked in 1,329 RBI, maintained an 1.037 OPS, and was an unearthly 86.6 WAR. I’m not a math guy, but we’re looking at averages of about 40 HRs, 121 RBI, and 7.9 WAR. That’s an average year. Just bananas numbers.
Now, the numbers did dip once he left The Cardinals for the West Coast. Even so, the numbers are still pretty impressive for a guy entering the back half of his career. During his 10 seasons with The Halos, Pujols racked up 222 HRs, 783 RBI, a .758 OPS, and a 12.8 WAR. I won’t bore you with averages here, but you can see the production was still there.
A sure fire Hall of Famer, and seemingly a pretty good guy off the field. Albert Pujols deserves the appreciation from any baseball fan lucky enough to watch him in the past 21 years. If this is it, here’s to an incredible career.
A week absolutely jam packed with sports, just how we like it. We review in this week’s SSM.
The most exciting two minutes in sports People wearing suits and hats of all sorts Money won or money lost, we all enjoyed The Derby Medina Spirit won the race, and did it in a hurry
The NFL Draft was held this week, dreams coming true With fresh new rookies on every team, hope springs anew Some picks were surprises, others maybe not One thing is for certain though, all fans feel they’ve got a shot
Big time rumors going on from Green Bay’s quarterback Aaron Rodgers is upset, may want to leave the Pack Seems like a bit of a longshot, but would shake up the NFL If he leaves, wherever he goes will be a total bombshell
Loud suits, awkward bear hugs, and dreams coming true. The NFL Draft comes around every April and becomes a bigger spectacle every year. Seeing these mutant freak athletes break down and hug mom or family when their name is called never fails to deliver.
On Thursday, we got our annual helping of all of the feels, Roger Godell being weird, and grainy war room footage when the NFL started the clock on their 2021 Draft. Some picks were locks, some were surprises, and we were there for all of it.
1. Trevor Lawrence, QB, Jacksonville Jaguars: more like Trevor Snorerence, amirite? This pick was made the day Lawrence declared he was leaving Clemson and going to the NFL.
2. Zach Wilson, QB, New York Jets: a small town millennial moves to the big city after college; will he survive or succumb to the pressures of professional life in New York? Turns out it wasn’t the destination that was important, but the journey along the way. Sounds like a rom-com in the making.
3. Trey Lance, QB, San Francisco 49ers: drafting a QB who has barely played in college, what could go wrong?
4. Kyle Pitts, TE, Atlanta Falcons: despite having a god awful defense, you can’t blame the Falcons for drafting a guy that could very well be the best player in this draft fourth overall.
5. Ja’Marr Chase, WR, Cincinnati Bengals: yeah, no, Joe Burrow doesn’t need a left tackle, he’s fine.
6. Jaylen Waddle, WR, Miami Dolphins: Jaylen careens, dodders, and staggers his way to South Beach.
7. Penei Sewell, OT, Detroit Lions:“Dantallica” has his left tackle, now he just needs a quarterback.
31. Jayson Oweh, LB, Baltimore Ravens: this guys last name sounds like a surprised Canadian.
32. Joe Tryon, LB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: some pass rush ability for this prospect, but a definite raw talent. The Super Bowl champs are going to take a flyer and try on the linebacker from Washington.
It was a glorious night for the above-mentioned 32 players and their families. After all of the pomp and circumstance of draft night one, it really makes me want to time warp to Week 1 in the fall. Rounds 2-7 will have to do for now.
The Cincinnati Bengals had their most exciting day in years Monday as they dropped their latest revamped uniforms. Southwest Ohio was abuzz when their beloved football team, who has suffered double-digit losses in 14 of their last 30 seasons, unveiled the latest threads they’ll be rocking in 2021 and beyond. Let’s break these bad boys down (all photos from Bengals.com).
Eh…this an L.
Total missed opportunity to go back to the old school helmet with “Bengals” text written across the helmet. We’re going to have to live with the same old stripes while we watch Joe Burrow throw for 7,000 yards, 40 touchdowns and drag his team to six wins a year for the foreseeable future.
Overall a good, not great uniform update for the proverbial AFC North cellar dwellers. The biggest win here was having Ochocino being a part of this whole project. I’ve always been a believer in the “look good feel good, feel good play good” moniker. If there’s any real credence to that claim, these uniforms may just make Vegas move the Bengals 2021 current win total from 6.5 to 7.5 in a hurry.
Sports gave us another week full of entertainment, enjoyment, and great moments. We look back in this week’s SSM.
Trevor Lawrence had himself a rough week People thought his love for football looked bleak Nothing’s going to change, he’ll still go number one The top of this month’s draft is all but done
Another bad football story, about a man that’s large Aaron Donald caught himself a false assault charge After the initial statement, the accuser took it back A quick and fair solution, did not get out of whack
The New York Yankees, not showing face Through 15 games, sitting in last place Just like the poor Tigers, Pirates, and Braves Yanks better start moving before the season caves
We continue our fashion countdown of who wore each number best. In this edition, we’re hopping into the 70’s. Will we get more NFL lineman? Will some random hockey or basketball players sneak in? Let’s dive in and find out.
79 – José Abreu
José Abreu has to be up there in the greatest players with the weirdest numbers category. According to Abreu, his mother picked his number so he would stand out. Stand out he has; Abreu was last year’s MVP, has garnered three All-Star selections, and even hit for the cycle in 2017.
Honorable Mention: N/A
78 – Bruce Smith
Bruce Smith is the all-time leader in sacks with an outlandish 200. His resume is long and silly; we won’t waste too much time here, but just know he was named to two different All-Decade teams in the 80’s and 90’s.
Honorable Mention: N/A
77 – Ray Bourque
Bouruqe was one of the best defensemen in NHL history. His offensive numbers are pretty impressive for a defensemen, scoring 1,506 points in 1,518 games played.
Honorable Mention: Vladimir Radmanović
76 – Orlando Pace
Pace was about all you could ask for in a left tackle during his career. In college, he was a finalist for the Heisman Trophy in 1996, which is wild enough for a lineman. In the NFL, he earned seven trips to the Pro Bowl, was a three time first team All-Pro, and a member of the 2000’s All-Decade team.
Honorable Mention: PK Subban
75 – Joe Greene
“Mean” Joe Greene was one of the most dominant nose tackles in NFL history. He was a part of the “Steel Curtain” defense that won four Super Bowls in six years for the Steelers in the 70’s. Mean Joe was also named to the 1970’s All-Decade team on top of the 75th and 100th Anniversary All-Time teams.
Honorable Mentions: Barry Zito, Howie Long
74 – Kenley Jansen
Jansen has been absolutely lights out since entering the Majors in 2010. He’s recorded 312 saves, a 2.39 ERA, and a 0.91 WHIP in 636 innings in his career.
Honorable Mention: TJ Oshie
73 – John Hannah
Hannah was a dominant guard for the Patriots from 1973-1985. Over that time, he went to nine Pro Bowls, was a 10 time All-Pro, is a member of the 70’s and 80’s All-Decade teams as well as the 75th and 100th Anniversary All-Time teams.
Honorable Mention: N/A
72 – Sergei Bobrovsky
Bobrovsky has had an impressive run since coming into the NHL with the Flyers in 2010. Since then, he has an impressive .921 save percentage and a 2.41 goals against average.
Honorable Mentions: Carlton Fisk, Dan Dierdorf
71 – Walter Jones
We’ve gushed over Walter Jones before, and we’re here to gush again. A bonafide Hall of Fame left tackle, nine Pro Bowls, four first team All-Pros, and never missed a start in 180 career games.
Honorable Mention: Evgeni Malkin
70 – Dennis Rodman
Who remembers this weird shit? Rodman played 12 games for the Mavs in the 1999-2000 season. Honestly, this is an awful number for this list and we’re obviously stretching here.
Honorable Mention: N/A
Have to be honest, I thought this edition was going to rely heavy on NFL offensive/defensive lineman. Pleasantly surprised with the baseball, hockey, and basketball representation here. On to the 60’s!
We’ve reached the end of a week that was chalked full of sports. We review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
Another gorgeous weekend at Augusta National The best golf weekend of the year, not irrational Hideki Matsuyama is your first time Masters winner He wins the green jacket and will host next year’s champions dinner
We had our first no-hitter this week against the Texas Rangers Joe Musgrove made opposing hitters his baby, put them in the manger It was the first no hitter thrown in Padres history Musgrove moved to 2-0 this year, great second victory
Another sad chapter in the Jacob DeGrom story The NY Post crushed the Mets and their chronic purgatory Fourteen K’s, one mistake, and zero run support Yet another hard loss to swallow, for one of the best in the sport
A wild cross-sport story, baseball to basketball Alex Rodriguez breaking the bank as well as the ownership wall He’s partnering with his boy Marc Lore to buy the Timberwolves & Lynx The sale is reported to be $1.5 billion, back up the Brinks!