Hey Serena, Thanks

Photo: Sky Sports

A massive, massive loss in the tennis world came down Tuesday.

Serena Williams, who became a pro 27 years ago, announced in a Vogue article that she will be leaving the game of tennis:

“I’ve been reluctant to admit that I have to move on from playing tennis. It’s like a taboo topic. It comes up, and I start to cry. I think the only person I’ve really gone there with is my therapist.”

The entire article, which you should read, begins with the idea that her daughter wants to be a big sister, and the almost 41 year old GOAT has chosen to attempt to try and expand her family over continuing the greatest women’s tennis career of all time. An admirable decision that is more impressive than anything she’s done on the court.

However, what was done on the court wasn’t too shabby. This screenshot alone from Serena’s website is just bonkers:

I mean they had to shrink the font to ant size so all of her titles could fit within the web design! If that’s not GOAT stuff, I don’t know what is.

The list of accomplishments goes on an on that other/better blogs and websites can list. I am not the most knowledgable tennis fan, but can very easily appreciate what Serena Williams has achieved on the court.

More importantly, her philanthropy and representation in tennis has likely done more for the sport than anyone could put a dollar figure on. A champion in the most literal sense.

The dedication and dominance cannot be denied, and may be something we never see in women’s tennis again.

Sunday State of Mind: August 1st-August 7th

Photo: Art Station

Settle into your Sunday with our latest edition of SSM.

Only place to start, is to send our love
Vin Scully and Bill Russell, left us for above
Giants of their sports, both all-time human beings
A rare thing in sports that has all of us agreeing

The NFL is king, and we had it this week
The Hall of Fame Game, football fans were geeked
For about 10 minutes, then came in the scrubs
Raiders played the Jags, Vegas got the dub

We hit the trade deadline in the MLB
Buyers adding talent, sellers went to flee
Biggest movers were the Pads, adding talent right and left
Headliner was Juan Soto, other moves felt like theft

Deshaun Watson Got Off Easy

This is gross.

On Monday morning, the jerking around of the Deshaun Watson case(s) came to completion. The Browns quarterback received a six game suspension for his loads of sexual misconduct charges against him.

Six games for 24 counts of (if true) horrendous behavior. A total stroke of luck that Watson received the equivalent of on game per woman he (allegedly) took advantage of. The ruling today basically wiped clean any wrong doing in exchange for 33% of one season’s worth of games.

NFL writer Dov Kleinman put this into perspective in relation to other past league suspensions:

That’s right; same amount of games for PEDs, 72 more games for smoking weed, and 12 more games for placing one bet on your team to win a game. That’s how much this suspension blew.

The whole thing was and still is a total mess. The whole process was rubbed down to nothing which resulted in a horrific punishment that satisfies no one besides Watson, which is all he cared about in the first place.

Kyler Murray is Playing Mental Games

We’re playing checkers, he’s playing chess.

Kyler Murray, AKA Baby Yoda, AKA Toad from Mario, AKA Baby Groot, has had a rollercoaster past seven days.

On July 21st, his monster contract agreement was announced; $160 Million guaranteed will have anyone flying high. Once the contract language was released, the entire world freaked out about the now overly-discussed video game clause. So, a big payday followed by a big embarrassment.

Well, Kyler doesn’t want to talk about it. Or, he does…right?

No, he doesn’t. Well…maybe.

Do we talk about Kyler not wanting to talk about it? Or does Kyler want us to talk about not talking about it?

There’s nothing that says “I don’t want to talk about this” more than holding an impromptu press conference talking about how you don’t want to talk about it. Message clearly received, Kyler.

So, in review. We will not put any effort into talking about what Kyler does, or does not want to talk about.

Pretzel brain, engaged.

Sunday State of Mind: July 18th-July 24th

Photo: SCANPH

This week’s Sunday State of Mind is sneaking in at the very end of what was another great week in sports.

Little Kyler Murray, big contract extension
A deal finally signed after some more than awkward tension
Arizona ponied up the cash to pay their guy
We need real football to start or else I’m gonna die

On Friday the Blue Jays put up four touchdowns
Won 28-5, made the Red Sox look like clowns
Toronto’s bats were hot, Sox bats were in a jam
We even got to see an inside the park grand slam!

Conspiracies abound on James Harden’s deal
Took way less money now, sounded like a steal
Around the NBA, there seems to be some doubt
If this deal is legit, or if Harden’s getting a bailout

Rob Manfred Heroically Comes Out Pro Poverty

Thank you for your service, Commissioner Manfred.

As the sport of baseball thrives in popularity, the fearless leader of Major League Baseball bravely came out against the biased and unfair notion that minor league baseball players are criminally underpaid:

Amen Commissioner…amen.

According to the New York Times, MLB “raised pay for minor league players in 2021, with Class A minimum salaries rising from $290 to $500 a week and Class AAA salaries increasing from $502 to $700.”

These prima donna minor leaguers, $290 per week wasn’t enough? You really need half a grand a week like some kind of galavanting fast food worker? Shame on you. Last time I checked, $290 was more than enough to survive on ramen noodles, a pay by the minute phone, and an annual shopping trip to Goodwill.

What else do you need? One of this country’s biggest issues is the 1%’s hogging all of the wealth. Our lionhearted Commissioner tried as hard as he could to eliminate the unjust wage gap in America, but these greedy minor leaguers, grabbing at every dime in the couches they sleep on, overran him.

So, congratulations on living the American dream, minor league baseball players. Enjoy those mammoth paychecks and looking down at all the peasants.

Keep fighting the good fight, Commissioner Manfred. We’re proud of you.

Sunday State of Mind: July 11th-July 17th

The summer sports calendar can sometimes feel slow, but there’s always enough to recap the week that was in our latest edition of SSM.

The Old Course at St. Andrews, another major done
Thought it was Rory’s weekend; but Cam Smith was the one
Big weekend for the Aussie, and he’s a sight to see
We’ll see if he can repeat in 2023

Chris Sale just can’t catch a break, hurt in his second start
Since coming off the injured list, now again will depart
A big investment for the Sox, so far has had no luck
As far as we can read, no players or coaches struck

Juan Soto is a different case, no contract yet for him
Turned down a big payday, future with the Nats is grim
A bold decision to turn down $440 million bucks
Whoever pays the man will have to bring one or two Brinks trucks

Hope you had LeBron James and DeMar DeRozan
On your Drew League fantasy team, both played like the chosen
In Saturday’s game, both filled up the stat book
Can you imagine if LeBron chose him over Westbrook?

Space Draft: Webb Telescope Photo Rankings

Photo: nasa.gov

An absolute banner day for space nerds like us here at Untimed Down.

NASA finally released first images from the James Webb Space Telescope, which they describes as “the world’s largest and most powerful space telescope…ready to begin its mission to unfold the infrared universe.” Goosebumps.

We’ve all likely seen the four images released by now, if not you can find them here. But the real question is, who’s number one?

Our draft board is below:

4. Stephan’s Quintet

Draft Analysis: solid prospect, decent vision. While this is an incredible picture of a bundle of five completely separate galaxies, have to say the wow factor isn’t 100% there.

3. SMACS 0723

Draft Analysis: major pro is that this looks like a poster from every stoner from the 70’s bedroom. Lot of pop here, the versatility of color and shape makes this pick a high ceiling selection. Only downside to consdier is the name projects some potential off field issues.

2. Southern Ring Nebula

Draft Analysis: this one looks the part. When you think of groundbreaking intergalactic imaging, this is it. If the shining star in the middle isn’t enough for you, the spectrum of color would make any team crave that kind of utility.

1. Carina Nebula

Draft Analysis: an absolute, sure fire hall of famer here. A star forming region that looks like the most beautiful mountain range you’ve ever seen? Get out of town. There was never a doubt this nebula was going at the top of our draft; a flawless prospect that checks off all boxes when considering cosmic imaging.

All we can do at this point is enjoy these remarkable scientific portraits until we get the next round, which can’t come soon enough. If we don’t want to do that, we can always embrace debate and argue over which picture is best. Either way, sign me up for the first available shuttle to see these locales in person.

Sunday State of Mind: July 4th-July 10th

Photo: Pixels Talk

We’re back from a two week summer hiatus! Honestly, the only appropriate return to content is our weekly recount of the week that was in sports; Sunday State of Mind.

The Championships Wimbledon, tennis’ best
Crowned two champs Sunday, better than the rest
Novak won his seventh, Rybakina’s first
Kyrgios was the star for his evaluation of this lady’s thirst

The nightmare is over for Baker Mayfield
His hate for the Browns no longer concealed
The Panthers new QB; ready to roll
Don’t think this will end at the Super Bowl

Damian Lillard, the Portland Trailblazer
Signed a two year extension, talk about a fundraiser
The deal keeps him in Portland until ’27
Trailblazer fans must feel like they’re in heaven

The Detroit Tigers had a winning streak!
Six games in a row, ended this week
Good to see a young team string together some wins
But still far behind the first place Twins

Sunday State of Mind: May 20th-June 26th

Some major sports developments in the past seven days. Thank goodness for SSM to remind of us all that was good in sports this week.

Hey Lord Stanley’s Cup, Colorado’s your new home
Avs are your new champs, sitting on top of the throne
Beat the Bolts in six, won it down in Tampa Bay
Lotta young pups on that squad, call it child’s play

Men’s college world series, time to talk some ping
Ole Miss and Oklahoma came out and did their thing
No action through five, then the runs came pouring in
Three run rally in the eighth gave the Rebs the win

Another baseball battle, this one in The Show
Had some real fists fly between the M’s and the Halos
Unwritten rules of baseball, as old as they are dumb
Real baseball fights are rare though, nice to see a scrum

NBA Draft on Thursday, dreams being made
Not too many surprises, they pick and we grade
Kind of a boring watch, most picks are gonna miss
Give it two or three years, guys are bound for the abyss