He Has Risen

Brothers and sisters, can I get an amen?!

News broke Monday that the Jacksonville Jaguars are planning on signing Tim Tebow.

The Philippine-born former quarterback will once again take his talents to the NFL. The connection here, as noted by Ian Rapoport, is that the recently retired minor league baseball player’s college coach, noted jagoff Urban Meyer, is now running the show in Jacksonville.

Our prayers have been answered. Praise be to the higher power bringing Tim Tebow back into the professional sports galaxy for what will either be his sixteenth or seventeenth chance. We will all once again be baptized by Tebow-mania and blessed by sports debate shows arguing if Tebow can perform the miracle of transitioning from a quarterback to a tight end.

The football world has gone celibate of Tim Tebow for far too long; and that chastity belt is about to be busted wide open. Fans everywhere have kept the faith, for over 3,000 days, that one day our angel would descend from the clouds, throw on his shoulder pads, and once again be reincarnated as a professional football player.

It is going to be a sight to see every palm Sunday in Jacksonville this season. With Tebow’s career resurrected, every day feels like the sabbath once again. We as football fans can finally rest, part the sea of pillows on the couch, and tune into some Jacksonville Jaguars football.

This must be what heaven feels like.

Sunday State of Mind: May 3rd-May 9th

Happy Mother’s Day! If you forgot to get your Mom anything, read her some poetry, which you can find below in this week’s SSM.

Bradley Beal dropped 50 on Indiana
Didn’t need OT, game was bananas
Wizards a shocking playoff team
Getting hot at the right time, gaining steam

In the very same game, another triple double
For Russell Westbrook, dude is trouble
For anyone trying to shut him down
He makes defenders look like clowns

Another big scorer, the man Steph Curry
Forty-nine Saturday, racked ’em up in a hurry
Put team on his back, and they won again
Excited for the NBA playoffs to begin

An Albert Pujols Appreciation Blog

Shocking, though not terribly surprising news dropped on Thursday. The Los Angeles Angels announced that they would be releasing Albert Pujols. Pujols had been with the team since 2012, signing an at the time 10 year, $240 million mega deal.

Pujols, a missed nomination for the funniest names in sports, continued a completely understandable late career downtrend this season. Through 24 games in 2021, he is hitting .198 with a .622 OPS. For reference, his first year in LA he hit .285 and .859, respectively.

However, we are not here to kick Pujols while he’s down. Father Time is undefeated (unless you’re Tom Brady), so the declining numbers we’ve seen from Pujols is nothing short of expected.

We’re here to celebrate what may be the end of one of the most spectacular baseball players in the modern era. Hand up; I’m a Cubs fan. I think enough time has passed that myself and fellow North Siders can appreciate Pujols for what he was, an absolute tank who refused to not rip your heart out at any given moment.

Let’s just break this down. In his 11 years in St. Louis, Pujols hit 445 home runs, knocked in 1,329 RBI, maintained an 1.037 OPS, and was an unearthly 86.6 WAR. I’m not a math guy, but we’re looking at averages of about 40 HRs, 121 RBI, and 7.9 WAR. That’s an average year. Just bananas numbers.

Now, the numbers did dip once he left The Cardinals for the West Coast. Even so, the numbers are still pretty impressive for a guy entering the back half of his career. During his 10 seasons with The Halos, Pujols racked up 222 HRs, 783 RBI, a .758 OPS, and a 12.8 WAR. I won’t bore you with averages here, but you can see the production was still there.

A sure fire Hall of Famer, and seemingly a pretty good guy off the field. Albert Pujols deserves the appreciation from any baseball fan lucky enough to watch him in the past 21 years. If this is it, here’s to an incredible career.

Sunday State of Mind: April 26th-May 2nd

A week absolutely jam packed with sports, just how we like it. We review in this week’s SSM.

The most exciting two minutes in sports
People wearing suits and hats of all sorts
Money won or money lost, we all enjoyed The Derby
Medina Spirit won the race, and did it in a hurry

The NFL Draft was held this week, dreams coming true
With fresh new rookies on every team, hope springs anew
Some picks were surprises, others maybe not
One thing is for certain though, all fans feel they’ve got a shot

Big time rumors going on from Green Bay’s quarterback
Aaron Rodgers is upset, may want to leave the Pack
Seems like a bit of a longshot, but would shake up the NFL
If he leaves, wherever he goes will be a total bombshell

Round One Reaction From the NFL Draft

Loud suits, awkward bear hugs, and dreams coming true. The NFL Draft comes around every April and becomes a bigger spectacle every year. Seeing these mutant freak athletes break down and hug mom or family when their name is called never fails to deliver.

On Thursday, we got our annual helping of all of the feels, Roger Godell being weird, and grainy war room footage when the NFL started the clock on their 2021 Draft. Some picks were locks, some were surprises, and we were there for all of it.

1. Trevor Lawrence, QB, Jacksonville Jaguars: more like Trevor Snorerence, amirite? This pick was made the day Lawrence declared he was leaving Clemson and going to the NFL.

2. Zach Wilson, QB, New York Jets: a small town millennial moves to the big city after college; will he survive or succumb to the pressures of professional life in New York? Turns out it wasn’t the destination that was important, but the journey along the way. Sounds like a rom-com in the making.

3. Trey Lance, QB, San Francisco 49ers: drafting a QB who has barely played in college, what could go wrong?

4. Kyle Pitts, TE, Atlanta Falcons: despite having a god awful defense, you can’t blame the Falcons for drafting a guy that could very well be the best player in this draft fourth overall.

5. Ja’Marr Chase, WR, Cincinnati Bengals: yeah, no, Joe Burrow doesn’t need a left tackle, he’s fine.

6. Jaylen Waddle, WR, Miami Dolphins: Jaylen careens, dodders, and staggers his way to South Beach.

7. Penei Sewell, OT, Detroit Lions: “Dantallica” has his left tackle, now he just needs a quarterback.

8. Jaycee Horn, CB, Carolina Panthers: this kid has to be good if he came from the loins of the man responsible for one of the greatest celebrations of all time.

9. Patrick Surtain II, CB, Denver Broncos: Surtain’s dad was a stud in Madden 2004, so the kid has to be good right?

10. DeVonta Smith, WR, Philadelphia Eagles: fun fact: Smith’s Heisman Trophy is heavier than DeVonta himself.

11. Justin Fields, QB, Chicago Bears: not here to make a joke about the Bears trading up for a quarterback…that’s old, played out, and I already did it earlier on the Trey Lance pick.

12. Micah Parsons, LB, Dallas Cowboys: Jerr-uh Jones, human embodiment of The Rich Texan from The Simpsons, rangles himself up another solid linebacker.

13. Rashawn Slater, OT, Los Angeles Chargers: Slater gets the best of both worlds; he gets to live in LA and won’t have the pressure of fans showing up to games to boo him if he struggles.

14. Alijah Vera-Tucker, G, New York Jets: the Jets pledge their Alija-nce to their new QB Zach Wilson, by getting him some protection in Vera-Tucker.

15. Mac Jones, QB, New England Patriots: I now have no doubt that Mac Jones will become the greatest quarterback to ever play the game.

16. Zaven Collins, LB, Arizona Cardinals: the worst part about this pick is that we didn’t get a sneak peak into Kliff Kingsbury’s sexy bachelor pad like we did last year.

17. Alex Leatherwood, OT, Las Vegas Raiders: can you imagine the culture shock of moving from Tuscaloosa, Alabama to Las Vegas?

18. Jaelan Phillips, DE, Miami Dolphins: very cool story here; this guy went from retiring in college to a first round pick.

19. Jamin Davis, LB, Washington Football Team: The Washington Football Team picked a football player to play for their football team…football.

20. Kadarius Toney, WR, New York Giants: men with that namesake in the greater New York metropolitan area always take care of business…great pick here by the G-Men.

21. Kwity Paye, DE, Indianapolis Colts: Jim Irsay, as he is known to do, focuses on the line.

22. Caleb Farley, CB, Tennessee Titans: the fact that I get duped into thinking this is Chris Farley anytime I read this guy’s name makes me hate this pick.

23. Christian Darrisaw, OT, Minnesota Vikings: another devout Christian on the Vikings offense.

24. Najee Harris, RB, Pittsburgh Steelers: stop me if you’ve heard this before: “Alabama player drafted in the first round.”

25. Travis Etienne, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars: just like the 2019 Masters, Tigers back in Jacksonville.

26. Greg Newsome II, CB, Cleveland Browns: the second first rounder from Northwestern…what the hell is going on?

27. Rashod Bateman, WR, Baltimore Ravens: Bateman’s quarterback in college looks like he’s twice the age of Lamar Jackson…so he’s got that going for him, which is nice.

28. Payton Turner, DE, New Orleans Saints: Turner’s first name breaks down to “big pay day.” Good things in the future for this guy.

29. Eric Stokes, CB, Green Bay Packers: an inspired pick that will for sure distract all of us from the Aaron Rodgers news.

30. Gregory Rousseau, DE, Buffalo Bills: this dude definitely looks like he could go through some tables.

31. Jayson Oweh, LB, Baltimore Ravens: this guys last name sounds like a surprised Canadian.

32. Joe Tryon, LB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: some pass rush ability for this prospect, but a definite raw talent. The Super Bowl champs are going to take a flyer and try on the linebacker from Washington.

It was a glorious night for the above-mentioned 32 players and their families. After all of the pomp and circumstance of draft night one, it really makes me want to time warp to Week 1 in the fall. Rounds 2-7 will have to do for now.

Sunday State of Mind: April 19th-April 25th

We did it, friends…another week in the books. With it, Sunday State of Mind has arrived.

Rob Gronkowski just doing Gronk things
Setting world records and winning rings
A six hundred foot catch, a new world record
Leave it to Gronk to be a Guinness book wrecker

Dodgers and Padres, an amazing series
Two of the league’s best, just my theory
Some good back and forth between two teams
This rivalry is a thing of baseball fan’s dreams

Gerrit Cole and Shane Beiber, aces for sure
Went head to head, could you ask for more?
A pitcher’s duel in Cleveland, Yanks win 2-1
A lack of offense, but the game was fun

This week we could’ve had another great match
Bucks and 76ers, but some players were scratched
No Embiid, no Simmons, and the Bucks took advantage
A blow out for Milwaukee, the Sixers couldn’t manage

The Bengals Dropped Their New Uniforms Today and We are Again Fashion Critics

The Cincinnati Bengals had their most exciting day in years Monday as they dropped their latest revamped uniforms. Southwest Ohio was abuzz when their beloved football team, who has suffered double-digit losses in 14 of their last 30 seasons, unveiled the latest threads they’ll be rocking in 2021 and beyond. Let’s break these bad boys down (all photos from Bengals.com).

Helmet

Eh…this an L.

Total missed opportunity to go back to the old school helmet with “Bengals” text written across the helmet. We’re going to have to live with the same old stripes while we watch Joe Burrow throw for 7,000 yards, 40 touchdowns and drag his team to six wins a year for the foreseeable future.

Jersey

Pants


Overall a good, not great uniform update for the proverbial AFC North cellar dwellers. The biggest win here was having Ochocino being a part of this whole project. I’ve always been a believer in the “look good feel good, feel good play good” moniker. If there’s any real credence to that claim, these uniforms may just make Vegas move the Bengals 2021 current win total from 6.5 to 7.5 in a hurry.

Sunday State of Mind: April 12th-April 18th

Sports gave us another week full of entertainment, enjoyment, and great moments. We look back in this week’s SSM.

Trevor Lawrence had himself a rough week
People thought his love for football looked bleak
Nothing’s going to change, he’ll still go number one
The top of this month’s draft is all but done

Another bad football story, about a man that’s large
Aaron Donald caught himself a false assault charge
After the initial statement, the accuser took it back
A quick and fair solution, did not get out of whack

The New York Yankees, not showing face
Through 15 games, sitting in last place
Just like the poor Tigers, Pirates, and Braves
Yanks better start moving before the season caves

Who Wore it Best? 79-70

Photo: Dr. Odd

We continue our fashion countdown of who wore each number best. In this edition, we’re hopping into the 70’s. Will we get more NFL lineman? Will some random hockey or basketball players sneak in? Let’s dive in and find out.

79 – José Abreu

José Abreu has to be up there in the greatest players with the weirdest numbers category. According to Abreu, his mother picked his number so he would stand out. Stand out he has; Abreu was last year’s MVP, has garnered three All-Star selections, and even hit for the cycle in 2017.

Honorable Mention: N/A

78 – Bruce Smith

Bruce Smith is the all-time leader in sacks with an outlandish 200. His resume is long and silly; we won’t waste too much time here, but just know he was named to two different All-Decade teams in the 80’s and 90’s.

Honorable Mention: N/A

77 – Ray Bourque

Bouruqe was one of the best defensemen in NHL history. His offensive numbers are pretty impressive for a defensemen, scoring 1,506 points in 1,518 games played.

Honorable Mention: Vladimir Radmanović

76 – Orlando Pace

Photo: USA Today

Pace was about all you could ask for in a left tackle during his career. In college, he was a finalist for the Heisman Trophy in 1996, which is wild enough for a lineman. In the NFL, he earned seven trips to the Pro Bowl, was a three time first team All-Pro, and a member of the 2000’s All-Decade team.

Honorable Mention: PK Subban

75 – Joe Greene

“Mean” Joe Greene was one of the most dominant nose tackles in NFL history. He was a part of the “Steel Curtain” defense that won four Super Bowls in six years for the Steelers in the 70’s. Mean Joe was also named to the 1970’s All-Decade team on top of the 75th and 100th Anniversary All-Time teams.

Honorable Mentions: Barry Zito, Howie Long

74 – Kenley Jansen

Jansen has been absolutely lights out since entering the Majors in 2010. He’s recorded 312 saves, a 2.39 ERA, and a 0.91 WHIP in 636 innings in his career.

Honorable Mention: TJ Oshie

73 – John Hannah

Hannah was a dominant guard for the Patriots from 1973-1985. Over that time, he went to nine Pro Bowls, was a 10 time All-Pro, is a member of the 70’s and 80’s All-Decade teams as well as the 75th and 100th Anniversary All-Time teams.

Honorable Mention: N/A

72 – Sergei Bobrovsky

Bobrovsky has had an impressive run since coming into the NHL with the Flyers in 2010. Since then, he has an impressive .921 save percentage and a 2.41 goals against average.

Honorable Mentions: Carlton Fisk, Dan Dierdorf

71 – Walter Jones

We’ve gushed over Walter Jones before, and we’re here to gush again. A bonafide Hall of Fame left tackle, nine Pro Bowls, four first team All-Pros, and never missed a start in 180 career games.

Honorable Mention: Evgeni Malkin

70 – Dennis Rodman

Photo: ESPN

Who remembers this weird shit? Rodman played 12 games for the Mavs in the 1999-2000 season. Honestly, this is an awful number for this list and we’re obviously stretching here.

Honorable Mention: N/A

Have to be honest, I thought this edition was going to rely heavy on NFL offensive/defensive lineman. Pleasantly surprised with the baseball, hockey, and basketball representation here. On to the 60’s!

Sunday State of Mind: April 5th-April 11th

We’ve reached the end of a week that was chalked full of sports. We review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Another gorgeous weekend at Augusta National
The best golf weekend of the year, not irrational
Hideki Matsuyama is your first time Masters winner
He wins the green jacket and will host next year’s champions dinner

We had our first no-hitter this week against the Texas Rangers
Joe Musgrove made opposing hitters his baby, put them in the manger
It was the first no hitter thrown in Padres history
Musgrove moved to 2-0 this year, great second victory

Another sad chapter in the Jacob DeGrom story
The NY Post crushed the Mets and their chronic purgatory
Fourteen K’s, one mistake, and zero run support
Yet another hard loss to swallow, for one of the best in the sport

A wild cross-sport story, baseball to basketball
Alex Rodriguez breaking the bank as well as the ownership wall
He’s partnering with his boy Marc Lore to buy the Timberwolves & Lynx
The sale is reported to be $1.5 billion, back up the Brinks!