The Masters Pairings Are Out and They STINK

Photo: Logos World

It’s Masters Week, folks.

First and second round pairings have been released, and we’ve got opinions.

As always, there’s great groups and bad groups. To golf fans collective chagrin, the majority of these groups are substandard, unsatisfactory, and dreadful…or so says the synonym list for “bad.”

8:12 a.m. – Vijay Singh, Scott Stallings, Matthew McClean (A): Vijay is still somehow doing it…just locked in the amateur to finish higher than him and that ticket will CASH.

9:48 a.m. – Bubba Watson, Seamus Power, Mateo Fernandez de Oliveira (A): this group has taken the early Masters lead for best collective names.

10:18 a.m. – Tiger Woods, Viktor Hovland, Xander Schauffele: probably the strongest group we’ll get, and will definitely be an episode of Full Swing season two.

10:42 a.m. – Justin Thomas, Jon Rahm, Cameron Young: another robust group, only missing the greatest golfer of all time like the previous group mentioned above.

12:24 p.m. – Phil Mickelson, Tom Hoge, Si Woo Kim: one of LIV’s biggest and reddest faces is paired up with a collective five PGA Tour wins.

1:12 p.m. – Dustin Johnson, Corey Conners, Justin Rose: this group actually plays. Two big names and the guys who carded a sixth place finish in last years Masters.

2:00 p.m. – Jordan Spieth, Tommy Fleetwood, Tony Finau: strong name recognition in the last group of Day 1; advantage to Fleetwood here if his body’s still on European time.

The Masters always seems to come at just the right time, almost like they planned it. The weather’s getting warmer, college basketball is over, and the post Opening Day excitement of baseball has already faded. So fill your work calendar with bogus meetings, check your inbox once an hour, and enjoy the beautiful sights and fake bird chirps of Augusta once more.


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