Draft Kings

Football. Is. Back.

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Photo: Houston Texans

The Bears. The Texans. Tyson Bagent. Davis Mills.

Football is back.

The NFL preseason officially kicks off tonight in Canton, Ohio with the annual Hall of Fame game. While we likely won’t see a single starter tonight; we will still see helmets, a football, and grass. For now, that’s enough.

The Bears and Texans will actually be a legitimately fun matchup when they play each other in week two of the regular season. However, tonight will be a preview of next week’s Hard Knocks. No Caleb Williams, no CJ Stroud, no DJ Moore, no Stefon Diggs.

If you’re a real degenerate sicko, the Bears are currently a 1.5 point favorite with an O/U of 30.5. The corporate fat cats at FanDuel and DraftKings won’t let us be great and bet player props, but if you’re really itching, the spread and totals will have to do. I personally have faith in you cashing in, responsibly of course.

Welcome back, football (betting).

Snoop Dogg No Longer Wants the Smoke

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Photo: @SnoopDogg on Twitter

Snoop Dogg has dusted his last blunt.

In an Earth-shattering announcement on Thursday, The D-O-Double G has officially announced he has “decided to give up smoke.”

The Doggfather has requested his privacy at this time. Although I’m 100% sure I’d get a direct response, in honor of his wishes, I did not reach out to Mr. Dogg for comment.

Will the world ever be the same? Snoop and weed have become so intertwined throughout his career, it’s hard to figure out where we we go from here.

What’s next?

Peanut butter giving up jelly? Cars protesting wheels? Football quitting on gifting its players CTE?

I think our friends at FanDuel and Draft Kings would be smart to set the futures market on how long this giving up of smoke will last; let us never forget the 2013 reign of Snoop Lion. If I were a wise guy in Vegas, I would set the O/U at 3.5 months.