Von Miller is On IR and That Stinks

Photo: Buffalo Rumblings

On Thursday, the Buffalo Bills announced Von Miller was headed towards the IR with a bum knee.

The team is hoping this isn’t the end of their best edge rusher for the season, and that he’ll be back for what Bills Mafia is hoping will be a deep playoff run. A minor setback for a major comeback, as they say.

While it is awful that we won’t see big number 40 out there for a month, that’s not really why we’re writing this blog. We are using this, as we will any opportunity, to remind you all of how bad Von Miller farts.

That’s right, he’s a habitual breaker of wind, a heinous back blaster, a brutal booty bomber…and he’s got the receipts to prove it.

A quick Google search shows THREE separate occasions in which Miller has been fined for his cheek squeaks. First in 2015 with the Broncos, the next year by his “Dancing with the Stars” partner, and became a repeat offender in Denver in 2018.

This dude is a hiney honking, britches burping, rear ripping maniac…and you have to appreciate the self confidence.

So here’s to a quick recovery for Von; and if he needs surgery, strong medical masks for his nurses.

Sunday State of Mind: November 21st-November 27th

Photo: House Beautiful

The only thing better than the food during Thanksgiving week is the sports. Feast week in college basketball, rivalry week in college football, and more, all in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Feast week brings the upsets, in college basketball
Early in the season, and number one did fall
Friday night the Cyclones upset UNC
Iowa State resumé building early victory

After all these years, feeling like big brother
Recently there seems to be a bigger, better, other
Two years in a row now, and they’re feeling great
Two straight wins for Michigan over Ohio State

A rare win for the Raiders, and even better yet
Josh Jacobs set all the records that ever could be set
Over 300 yards between rushing and receiving
Every time he touched the ball, defenders he was leaving

A NBA homecoming, loving all around
Ben Simmons came back to play in his old stomping grounds
His favorite fans in Philly, I’m sure it felt so warm
He had a double double so at least he did perform

Sunday State of Mind: November 14th-November 20th

Photo: Wallpaper Crafter

It’s a cold hard fact that the sports week is coming to an end. We review in this week’s SSM.

Let’s start with the world’s game, AKA jogo bonito
The World Cup is finally back, a fact you cannot veto
Always great to see the best footballers, smooth like butter
The only question left; do you say it Qatar or Qatar?

Cowboys and the Vikings, game of the week potential
Result of this game is without question consequential
Thought it would be a good one, battle of some studs
Cowboys blew them out, Vikings may be duds

Patriots and Jets, setting football back
Decades with this one, neither team on track
Pats won on a walk off, a punt return touchdown
Jets punted 10 times, offense full of clowns

It is time we talk about the best NBA team
These guys just come out every night with a head full of steam
They’ve won six straight, are very hot, doing some crazy things
Our current favorite team is the Sacramento Kings

A brutal crash and burn for Tennessee football
Big tumble for a team that was just standing so tall
Lost their starting quarterback, and the game by 25
Any playoff chances for them are no longer alive

Who’s Next on the Eagles Free Agent List?

Photo: Fansided

The Philadelphia Eagles took their first loss this season harder than any NFL team in history.

After taking an L to Taylor Heinicke and those feisty Washington Commanders on Monday Night Football, Howie Roseman and the boys upstairs in Philadelphia went to WORK. On Wednesdsay they signed Linval Joseph, and Thursday followed up with more beef in signing former head bashing person stomper Ndamukong Suh.

With all this action going on in The City of Brotherly Love, we tapped into our sources to see who else the 8-1 Eagles may be looking to add for a deep playoff run that they hope ends in Glendale in February.

Odell Beckham Jr.

The Eagles traded for AJ Brown in the offseason, addressing a huge hole in their roster configuration. Why not keep adding?

All 32 teams would love a fresh OBJ for the long run, but the Eagles may just be the right fit.

Johnny Manziel

Manziel, the current QB for the legendary FCF Zappers of the Fan Controlled Football League, could bring some stability to the QB room.

Sources indicate Manziel could be interested in a NFL comeback if the fit seems right.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

While Manziel is currently (?) an active football player, Johnson has had experience in the past.

The owner of The XFL, seen here celebrating reading his first entire magazine article, would be a great fit even after recently turning 50 years old.

League circles say The Rock’s recent statements confirming he wouldn’t run for president came from a yearning to make it in the NFL.

Jesus Christ

The carpenter from Bethlehem has recently had his team leak information to teams that he may finally be ready to join an NFL roster.

Christ did not immediately return our request for comment.

Some big names floating around the rumor mills these days. One thing about the NFL, it’s never boring. It will be incredibly interesting to see how these free agents and others fit in as the season progresses.

Sunday State of Mind: November 7th-November 13th

Photo: Dreamstime.com

Like real seasons, sports seasons come and go. We’re halfway home on the NFL season and almost done with college football. This week’s SSM is another celebration of that and more.

Big weekend for college football
Some big blowouts, some big teams fall
Bruins down, Ducks lose, Wildcats too
Another fun week in 2022

Raiders and Colts, the big debut
Jeff Saturday, what would he do?
Vegas was the perfect place
Colts win, Raiders a disgrace

A football first in Germany
For the Bucs and Tom Brady
Beat the Seahawks and Geno
Brady is the goat, we know

Bills and Vikings, holy shit
This game was great, every bit
Big win for Minny, the boys are buzzin’
Here comes iced out jacked Kirk Cousins

Filling Out Jim Irsay’s Dream Coaching Staff

Photo: Colts.com

Say what you will about Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay…guy does it his way. After four plus seasons of 8,000 year old quarterbacks and a disappointing 3-5-1 start to the season, Frank Reich was fired as head coach of the Colts on Monday.

Anytime a midseason head coaching change happens, organizations are usually in turmoil, and a bedrock of sustainability become top priority to coach out the remainder of the season.

After five stellar seasons of coaching high school football, Jeff Saturday finally gets his shot.

That’s right, the current (former?) ESPN analyst is swapping out his tie for a whistle. Saturday will take over a bad team, rookie quarterback, and no offensive coordinator. Should be great!

While the Colts try and trudge their way through the rest of the season, we’ve tried to look inside Jim Irsay’s brain to see what his ideal coaching staff would look like around Coach Saturday.

Offensive Coordinator – Peyton Manning

I mean, this is a layup.

Of course this would be a perfect fit; fourteen seasons, a Super Bowl, and all of the Colts passing records.

Hiring The Sheriff would be, while a long shot, a slam dunk hire by Irsay.

Defensive Coordinator – Buddy Ryan

Ryan is known as one of the greatest defensive minds to ever coach in the NFL. Rex & Rob’s dad was a part of two Super Bowl winning defenses.

Even though Ryan crossed the proverbial rainbow bridge in 2016, there’s no doubt Irsay will reach out to gauge interest, if he hasn’t already.

Special Teams Coordinator – A Colts Colored Fender Stratocaster

If you’ve been around Mr. Irsay at all, you know he is a man of many vices.

As much as he loves his Colts, he may love music even more. This limited edition electric Stratocaster with maple fingerboard in Lake Placid Blue is as special as the unit it’d be coaching.

Strength Coach – Jim Irsay

Look at that hoss!

That’s is the kind of billionaire who isn’t afraid to get in there and mix it up with the boys. That weightlifting belt is on in the weight room and the boardroom.

Mr. Irsay? More like Mr. Universe!

Hiring Jeff Saturday with only high school coaching experience is just the beginning. The Indianapolis Colts have just started a revolution that will soon take over the NFL with a dynastic flare that will make the 2000’s Patriots look like…well the Colts do now.

May we all have the gusto to live as bravely as Jim Irsay.

Sunday State of Mind: October 31st-November 6th

Photo: Wallpaper Access

We had the last sports equinox of the year this week. That and more in our latest SSM.

World Series is over, new kings have been crowned
Astros win another one, and are parade bound
No trash can drama this time, at least no rumors yet
If you were to wager though, might not be a bad bet

Some major programs going down in college football
Alabama lost again, Tennessee also did fall
Clemson also lost to an unranked Notre Dame
This part of the football season never comes up lame

We got vintage Tom Brady against the LA Rams
Still trying to beat the notion that the Bucs are shams
Come back win, fourth quarter drive, TB played the right cards
Also became the first QB with 100k yards

Other end of the spectrum, one guy just getting started
Justin Fields running the ball at a level uncharted
Broke the rushing record for a QB in a game
One hundred seventy-eight yards, left the field aflame

The biggest story of the week, what else can we say
The Nets made the right move by keeping Kyrie at bay
Terrible post, terrible week, he doesn’t seem to care
The constant act this guy gives us is starting to wear

Sunday State of Mind: October 24th-October 30th

Photo: Wallpaper Cave

This week, SSM stands for Spooky Spooky Memories. It’s Halloween week and we remember the past seven days of scary sports.

A horrifying football game
Out in Virginia, what a shame
Four OTs, no TDs, frightening thing to see
Petrifying football from UVA and Miami

‘Phils and ‘Stros, baseball’s best
Tied at one, no time to rest
World Series shaping up to be
A scary good watch for you and me

Tractorcito running strong
Scarred the Texans all day long
Titans rolling, looking tough
With Henry running, chilling stuff

Christian McCaffrey, holy shit
Just kept scoring, wouldn’t quit
Ran one, caught one, threw one more
Rams got wrecked, ruthless gore

Lakers and Nets, appalling starts
From winning games, they’re far apart
LeBron, AD, Kyrie, KD
Combined wins is less than three

It Gets Better, Laker Fans

Photo: The Spun

Laker fans…we’re here to help.

As LeBron, AD, and the boys fell to 0-4 on Wednesday night in Denver, we knew you would need us. It’s low right now, we won’t lie. Times are tough. But you know what, you can’t have sunshine without a little rain, right?

Who cares if you’ve lost three of four by 11+ point margins, that you’re second to last and last in three point and shooting percentage, respectively, or that you have one of the most unhappy superstars of all time in a bench role he hates?

You know what, things can only go up from here, right?!

…right?

Hey, your Cowboys are looking decent! Cooper Rush really held down the fort while Dak Prescott was injured. Number four came back and looked OK against the Lions, that’s always great. Don’t even worry about the fact that they’ve only won three playoff games since 1998. You’ve got Micah Parsons!

How could we forget about your Yankees? Season just ended, understood. But Aaron Judge took all of baseball on a hell of a ride to only come up 11 home runs short of Barry Bonds. Something none of us will soon forget. You have to love the “World Series or bust” attitude…even if you’ve only won one in the last 21 years. It’s still a great feat!

Well, hopefully this helps. Lakers fans, you are some of the best and most dedicated in all of sports. I’m sure this season will turn around eventually. LeBron will right the ship, Russell will get shipped, and it’ll be back to The Lake Show in no time.

…right?

Liz Truss Follows Sports Greats After Resigning 44 Days Into Regime

Photo: CNN

Liz Truss, the new/former UK Prime Minister, has resigned after a 44-day rollercoaster ride leading Great Britain’s government.

Truss’ short reign as leader sure sounded like a smooth, exiting time in the UK. However, all good things must come to an end. With the major announcement this morning, Truss joins some of the greatest/shortest leadership occupancies in sports.

5. Lane Kiffin, Tennessee Volunteers

Look at how happy the Lane Train was in Knoxville!

Kiffin is one of the longer tenured head coaches on our list; lasting an entire season with the Volunteers, going 7-6 in 2009.

4. Magic Johnson, Los Angeles Lakers

After becoming one of the greatest Lakers of all time on the court, why wouldn’t Magic want to lead The Lake Show as head coach?

Well, he did; racking up a stellar 5-11 record in 1994 before resigning and giving us some of the the greatest foreshadowing in history.

3. Lou Holtz, New York Jets

Before Lou Holtz was spitting on all of us on ESPN from 2005-2015, he was actually a pretty good coach.

Not in 1976, however. Holtz took the head coaching job for the New York Jets. He lasted one breathtaking season, killing it with a 3-11 record.

2. Billy Donovan, Orlando Magic

As you can see to the right, Billy Donovan pulled a Magic trick on Orlando back in 2007.

One of the greatest coaches in franchise history, he never lost a game; only because talked Orlando into releasing him from his contract five days after putting pen to paper.

1. Bill Belichick, New York Jets

Two of the rarest images to find on the internet: Bill Belichick with the Jets, and Bill Belichick smiling.

In what clearly changed the history of the NFL, Belichick resigned after being head coach of the Jets for one day in January 2000.


So fear not, Liz Truss. No one laughed at any of the above coaches after or since these jobs. I’m sure no one’s laughing at you after your historical reign in the UK.