Photo: Sports Illustrated

The Big Ten has a cheating problem; but who doesn’t?

If I have to hear the name Connor Stalions one more time I’m going to go full Vincent van Gogh. Yes, the entire saga is hilarious. He’s a total dork who is obsessed with Michigan football to potentially unhealthy levels. Each day the evidence continues to pile up that he went all out to help Jim Harbaugh and his coaching staff cheat.

My question is…who isn’t cheating?

If you’re involved in big money sports, with your and others jobs and livelihoods on the line, of course you’re going to gain whatever competitive edge you can get to win. Michigan definitely went overboard with it, but there’s a lot of glass houses throwing stones in this whole scenario.

So, how could each team in the B1G have maybe “bent the rules” to find any type of advantage they could?

Illinois – Brett Bielema showed Iowa recruits his tattoo to get them to de-commit from the Hawkeyes and come to Champaign.

Indiana – made empty promises to players in the transfer portal that if they came to Bloomington they’d automatically get a spot on Shark Tank.

Iowa – confirmed fair and balanced decision making on playing time; denounced nepotism in all its forms.

Maryland – claimed that there is more to the state than crab cakes and football.

Michigan State – forged documents into showing Sparty the Spartan has never taken PEDs.

Minnesota – assured us all that PJ Fleck definitely isn’t a cult leader.

Nebraska – wondered aloud why the other 132 D1 football coaches don’t wear very cool smocks.

Northwestern – continued to swear, under oath, that they are Chicago’s Big Ten team, despite four other conference team’s alumni being in the top 10 in Chicago’s population.

Ohio State – Ryan Day persisted in his vow that he doesn’t color his hair and beard.

Penn State – promised their fanbase that it’s totally normal for a giant cat to be completely naked other than wearing a tie.

Purdue – leaked text messages from Ryan Day asking Coach K about his hair care routine.

Rutgers – “would be a real shame if you didn’t let the Knights cover here…”

Wisconsin – shut down any investigations that they’re working in an underground lab on another batch of high-motored athletic freaks using a certain family’s genes.

It’s really that simple, everyone cheats. It’s a widespread misdemeanor that is prevalent in big time college sports. Anyone with a few minutes and access to Google could find out all of the above-mentioned elusiveness of NCAA bylaws.