Ladies and gentlemen…let’s all welcome to the stage, the hottest new talent in Brooklyn, James “The Beard” Hardeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
It’s about to rain in Brooklyn. The (fish)Nets have brought in a smokin’ hot new entertainer to grace the stage at The Barclays Center. On Tuesday, James Harden went full bare ass, railed the Rockets organization, and has been traded. He will be bringing his wild, some might even say exotic, style of play to Brooklyn moving forward.
No reports have been filed as to how Harden traveled from his old home to his new one. Was it in a mile high plane? Did he run onto a train? Possibly traveled via waterway in a motorboat? No one knows.
Harden has made many, many dollar bills putting a ball through a hole, and has been tipped exceptionally well. His career highlight may have been when he climbed to the top of the pole in the 2018 MVP race. Harden erected himself to the tip top of the league, and looked down at everyone in the crowd who couldn’t take their eyes off of everything he was willing to let us see. The spotlight was on The Beard; he put on a show, and did not disappoint. The MVP became a VIP.
But here we are, in 2021, and the show is over. The club in Houston has shut down, if you will. Harden will no longer own any Houston Rockets jerseys; if that were all he owned before the trade, he would be totally topless. He has turned the other cheek on The Rockets. The Beard will now need to learn a whole new offense, and become abreast of his new Nets teammates.
Here’s hoping this fresh start will spring new life into Harden, and that he opens himself up to his new organization.
On Tuesday, The Milwaukee Bucks announced a contract extension with the cornerstone of their franchise, Giannis Antetokounmpo. The Greek Freak signed a supermax contract for five years and $228M, keeping arguably the best basketball player on the planet in Milwaukee for the foreseeable future.
Antetokounmpo confirmed as much via social media:
A very nice, clean message. What I think Giannis was looking like in real life behind the phone was something similar to this:
I don’t know about you, but to me, $228M is a pretty good chunk of change. It got me thinking…what exactly could Giannis buy during his next five years in Milwaukee with all of that coin?
A slow week in sports leads to a slow week in content. But here we are, Sunday evening, and we’re going to try and squeeze some life out of the week that was in sports in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
Some big changes afoot for Illinois football Lovie Smith has been fired, his number’s been called Seventeen wins in five years at the school That’ll get you fired, and back in the job search pool
Another head coach fired, Auburn’s Guz Malzahn After a 6-4 season, he’s now Guz Malz-gone He brought the Tigers to the title game in 2013 But now the curtain has closed, end of scene
The NBA preseason returned this week It’s still worth watching for basketball geeks Doesn’t it seem like the offseason was incredibly short? Everything’s weird and off schedule in this world of sports
Baker Mayfield had himself a day Four touchdowns, 334 yards, to the Titans’ dismay The Browns moved to 9-3 on the year Once in a blue moon the Dawg Pound can cheer
A few big name changes, on Chicago’s North Side Kyle Schwarber is gone, and Len Kasper has gone for a ride To The White Sox radio both, Cubs fans were surprised What’s going on with the Cubs? It’s hard to surmise
A big name trade in the NBA John Wall for Russell Westbrook, what the hey?! A few bad contracts, who both wanted to change teams This trade will only change things in Wizards & Rockets fan’s dreams
Alabama football rolled their rival LSU The Crimson Tide won by 38, Tigers didn’t have a clue In this weird COVID season, one thing remains the same Alabama is good, and they’ll probably win every game
A NBA specific SSM this week! We celebrate the start of free agency in the only way we know how…shitty sports poetry.
Your defending champion Los Angeles Lakers Have not been free agency givers, but free agency takers Montrezl Harrell, Denis Schroeder, and Wes Matthews too The Lake Show roster will be stacked with players old and new
The Washington Wizards, a continuous mess Robin Lopez signed, that’s good I guess? There were rumors of a John Wall for Russell Westbrook trade Sad state of affairs if that’s the best move that can be made
Danilo Gallinari and Rajon Rondo both signed with Atlanta Some serious veteran presence, both good moves, duh The Hawks pair their new signings with a solid core Make no mistake, this team is going to score
Very strange signing in the city of Charlotte Gordon Hayward wanted a payday, and the Hornets bit An injury-prone veteran got $120 million over four years If I discovered this signing as a Hornets fan, I’d be in tears
There are a lot of LeBron James haters in our world today. You cannot count this blogger as one of them. I won’t spend time listing all of the good he has done on and off the court, because I would probably lose the majority of you as readers, if I haven’t already.
Simply put, people love to hate LeBron James. People also love “The Bachelor/Bachelorette” franchise. The Venn Diagram of these types of people might be close to one singular circle.
That may have just changed.
The Los Angeles Lakers, lead by James, beat the Miami Heat in Game 6 on Sunday to win the franchise’s first NBA Championship since 2010. With this victory, two pillars of American sports and pop culture have finally crossed paths.
Bachelor Nation has been anxiously awaiting Clare Crawley’s season to debut for months, and they will be getting the first episode of the season tonight at 7PM Central on ABC. The rub here is that if LeBron had not lead the Lakers to victory in Game 6 on Sunday, “The Bachelorette” would have been pushed back another week to October 20th so the (now unnecessary) Game 7 of the NBA Finals could have been played.
That’s right, King James is such a gracious and humble ruler that he’s allowing Bachelor Nation their precious season when he could have easily taken it all away from us. The affable King has shown us all mercy in his ever compassionate, chivalrous, and amicable rise (again) to the top of the NBA. We should all consider ourselves so lucky. We are not worthy, King James.
So this is for all of you LeBron haters/Bachelorette lovers out there. Why don’t you take this generous favor bestowed upon you, and reconsider your feelings on your King. For the second best player to ever play in the NBA (we all know who the GOAT is), there is surprisingly a lot of room on the LeBron bandwagon. Join me, won’t you?
SSM after dark! Some late night sports poetry to send you into your week.
We’ve crowned a new champ, The Lakers have won LeBron, AD, and the squad made sure The Heat were done With the win comes the end of the NBA bubble King James lead the way with a series winning triple double
Huge comeback story in the NFL Alex Smith is back, that’s a buy, not a sell Even if his team lost, him being back was a great scene A rare feel good story for The Washington Football Team
Opposite Alex Smith, poor Dak Prescott His seasons over, and the ankle’s shot If you haven’t seen the video, I would suggest not The pressure on Jerry Jones now has to feel quite hot
Moving on to the MLB The bracket’s down to four teams to see Who will take home the World Series Trophy Since it won’t be The Cubs, it doesn’t matter to me
Sunday evening: a time to sit back, reflect on your weekend, and read this week’s SSM.
The NBA Finals is in full swing The Heat are decimated, The Lakers are getting the ring It probably was always going to end this way With only Jimmy Butler for Miami, and LeBron and AD for LA
The MLB playoffs have advanced a round Only half of the playoff teams are left and still taking the mound It is a bit sad, that we won’t have a chance For a Cubs/White Sox World Series, since neither advanced
Russell Wilson continues to be In this blogger’s opinion, NFL MVP He balled out again today, carved Miami with a knife and fork Don’t think we forgot though, he’s still a dork
The big NFL story, another COVID outbreak Cam Newton tested positive, a sad truth to take The cases are clearly rising in the NFL I think we all wish this virus would just go to hell
Sunday, it’s here…so is this week’s SSM. Let’s hop in:
Last week of baseball, wrapping as we speak The MLB made it through, and reached their seasons’s peak The postseason starts next week, will be a wild story To see who takes home the COVID World Series Trophy
The NBA is winding down, Lakers took out the Nugs The Heat and Celts could be done soon, makes me sadly shrug Either way, it’ll be the Lakers and LeBron A few more games and before you know it, the NBA will be gone
The NHL is also close to closing out their year The Lightning and Stars are wrapping up, with their grown out playoff beards If the Lightning win on Monday, they’ll be hoisting up Lord Stanley If the Stars pull it out, we’re talking game 7, the cup won’t be won handily
Your NFL surprise of the year, the Chicago Bears Moved to 3-0 today, and this writer cares Trubisky was benched, Nick Foles was the hero Who would’ve thought after three weeks the Bears losses would be at zero?