James Harden Strips Down His Rockets Career, Heads to Brooklyn

Photo: Hypebeast

Ladies and gentlemen…let’s all welcome to the stage, the hottest new talent in Brooklyn, James “The Beard” Hardeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!

It’s about to rain in Brooklyn. The (fish)Nets have brought in a smokin’ hot new entertainer to grace the stage at The Barclays Center. On Tuesday, James Harden went full bare ass, railed the Rockets organization, and has been traded. He will be bringing his wild, some might even say exotic, style of play to Brooklyn moving forward.

No reports have been filed as to how Harden traveled from his old home to his new one. Was it in a mile high plane? Did he run onto a train? Possibly traveled via waterway in a motorboat? No one knows.

Harden has made many, many dollar bills putting a ball through a hole, and has been tipped exceptionally well. His career highlight may have been when he climbed to the top of the pole in the 2018 MVP race. Harden erected himself to the tip top of the league, and looked down at everyone in the crowd who couldn’t take their eyes off of everything he was willing to let us see. The spotlight was on The Beard; he put on a show, and did not disappoint. The MVP became a VIP.

But here we are, in 2021, and the show is over. The club in Houston has shut down, if you will. Harden will no longer own any Houston Rockets jerseys; if that were all he owned before the trade, he would be totally topless. He has turned the other cheek on The Rockets. The Beard will now need to learn a whole new offense, and become abreast of his new Nets teammates.

Here’s hoping this fresh start will spring new life into Harden, and that he opens himself up to his new organization.

What Could Giannis Antetokounmpo Buy With His Newly Signed $228M Supermax Contract?

That’s a lot of cheddar.

On Tuesday, The Milwaukee Bucks announced a contract extension with the cornerstone of their franchise, Giannis Antetokounmpo. The Greek Freak signed a supermax contract for five years and $228M, keeping arguably the best basketball player on the planet in Milwaukee for the foreseeable future.

Antetokounmpo confirmed as much via social media:

A very nice, clean message. What I think Giannis was looking like in real life behind the phone was something similar to this:

Picture: Wallpaper Cave

I don’t know about you, but to me, $228M is a pretty good chunk of change. It got me thinking…what exactly could Giannis buy during his next five years in Milwaukee with all of that coin?

Now, I would never tell another person what to do with their money…but there’s some pretty great stuff Giannis could buy with all of that scratch. Congrats to The Greek Freak on his big payday.

Sunday State of Mind: December 7th-December 13th

A slow week in sports leads to a slow week in content. But here we are, Sunday evening, and we’re going to try and squeeze some life out of the week that was in sports in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Some big changes afoot for Illinois football
Lovie Smith has been fired, his number’s been called
Seventeen wins in five years at the school
That’ll get you fired, and back in the job search pool

Another head coach fired, Auburn’s Guz Malzahn
After a 6-4 season, he’s now Guz Malz-gone
He brought the Tigers to the title game in 2013
But now the curtain has closed, end of scene

The NBA preseason returned this week
It’s still worth watching for basketball geeks
Doesn’t it seem like the offseason was incredibly short?
Everything’s weird and off schedule in this world of sports

Sunday State of Mind: December 1-December 6th

Sunday is here, and so is another week of SSM.

Baker Mayfield had himself a day
Four touchdowns, 334 yards, to the Titans’ dismay
The Browns moved to 9-3 on the year
Once in a blue moon the Dawg Pound can cheer

A few big name changes, on Chicago’s North Side
Kyle Schwarber is gone, and Len Kasper has gone for a ride
To The White Sox radio both, Cubs fans were surprised
What’s going on with the Cubs? It’s hard to surmise

A big name trade in the NBA
John Wall for Russell Westbrook, what the hey?!
A few bad contracts, who both wanted to change teams
This trade will only change things in Wizards & Rockets fan’s dreams

Alabama football rolled their rival LSU
The Crimson Tide won by 38, Tigers didn’t have a clue
In this weird COVID season, one thing remains the same
Alabama is good, and they’ll probably win every game

Sunday State of Mind: November 16th-November 22nd

Photo: Sas Kia on Unsplash

A NBA specific SSM this week! We celebrate the start of free agency in the only way we know how…shitty sports poetry.

Your defending champion Los Angeles Lakers
Have not been free agency givers, but free agency takers
Montrezl Harrell, Denis Schroeder, and Wes Matthews too
The Lake Show roster will be stacked with players old and new

The Washington Wizards, a continuous mess
Robin Lopez signed, that’s good I guess?
There were rumors of a John Wall for Russell Westbrook trade
Sad state of affairs if that’s the best move that can be made

Danilo Gallinari and Rajon Rondo both signed with Atlanta
Some serious veteran presence, both good moves, duh
The Hawks pair their new signings with a solid core
Make no mistake, this team is going to score

Very strange signing in the city of Charlotte
Gordon Hayward wanted a payday, and the Hornets bit
An injury-prone veteran got $120 million over four years
If I discovered this signing as a Hornets fan, I’d be in tears

LeBron James Saved “The Bachelorette” and We Should All Be Kneeling Before Him

There are a lot of LeBron James haters in our world today. You cannot count this blogger as one of them. I won’t spend time listing all of the good he has done on and off the court, because I would probably lose the majority of you as readers, if I haven’t already.

Simply put, people love to hate LeBron James. People also love “The Bachelor/Bachelorette” franchise. The Venn Diagram of these types of people might be close to one singular circle.

That may have just changed.

The Los Angeles Lakers, lead by James, beat the Miami Heat in Game 6 on Sunday to win the franchise’s first NBA Championship since 2010. With this victory, two pillars of American sports and pop culture have finally crossed paths.

Bachelor Nation has been anxiously awaiting Clare Crawley’s season to debut for months, and they will be getting the first episode of the season tonight at 7PM Central on ABC. The rub here is that if LeBron had not lead the Lakers to victory in Game 6 on Sunday, “The Bachelorette” would have been pushed back another week to October 20th so the (now unnecessary) Game 7 of the NBA Finals could have been played.

That’s right, King James is such a gracious and humble ruler that he’s allowing Bachelor Nation their precious season when he could have easily taken it all away from us. The affable King has shown us all mercy in his ever compassionate, chivalrous, and amicable rise (again) to the top of the NBA. We should all consider ourselves so lucky. We are not worthy, King James.

So this is for all of you LeBron haters/Bachelorette lovers out there. Why don’t you take this generous favor bestowed upon you, and reconsider your feelings on your King. For the second best player to ever play in the NBA (we all know who the GOAT is), there is surprisingly a lot of room on the LeBron bandwagon. Join me, won’t you?

Sunday State of Mind: October 5th-October 11th

Photo: Amanda Phung on Unsplash

SSM after dark! Some late night sports poetry to send you into your week.

We’ve crowned a new champ, The Lakers have won
LeBron, AD, and the squad made sure The Heat were done
With the win comes the end of the NBA bubble
King James lead the way with a series winning triple double

Huge comeback story in the NFL
Alex Smith is back, that’s a buy, not a sell
Even if his team lost, him being back was a great scene
A rare feel good story for The Washington Football Team

Opposite Alex Smith, poor Dak Prescott
His seasons over, and the ankle’s shot
If you haven’t seen the video, I would suggest not
The pressure on Jerry Jones now has to feel quite hot

Moving on to the MLB
The bracket’s down to four teams to see
Who will take home the World Series Trophy
Since it won’t be The Cubs, it doesn’t matter to me

Sunday State of Mind: September 28th-October 4th

Sunday evening: a time to sit back, reflect on your weekend, and read this week’s SSM.

The NBA Finals is in full swing
The Heat are decimated, The Lakers are getting the ring
It probably was always going to end this way
With only Jimmy Butler for Miami, and LeBron and AD for LA

The MLB playoffs have advanced a round
Only half of the playoff teams are left and still taking the mound
It is a bit sad, that we won’t have a chance
For a Cubs/White Sox World Series, since neither advanced

Russell Wilson continues to be
In this blogger’s opinion, NFL MVP
He balled out again today, carved Miami with a knife and fork
Don’t think we forgot though, he’s still a dork

The big NFL story, another COVID outbreak
Cam Newton tested positive, a sad truth to take
The cases are clearly rising in the NFL
I think we all wish this virus would just go to hell

Sunday State of Mind: September 21st-September 27th

Sunday, it’s here…so is this week’s SSM. Let’s hop in:

Last week of baseball, wrapping as we speak
The MLB made it through, and reached their seasons’s peak
The postseason starts next week, will be a wild story
To see who takes home the COVID World Series Trophy

The NBA is winding down, Lakers took out the Nugs
The Heat and Celts could be done soon, makes me sadly shrug
Either way, it’ll be the Lakers and LeBron
A few more games and before you know it, the NBA will be gone

The NHL is also close to closing out their year
The Lightning and Stars are wrapping up, with their grown out playoff beards
If the Lightning win on Monday, they’ll be hoisting up Lord Stanley
If the Stars pull it out, we’re talking game 7, the cup won’t be won handily

Your NFL surprise of the year, the Chicago Bears
Moved to 3-0 today, and this writer cares
Trubisky was benched, Nick Foles was the hero
Who would’ve thought after three weeks the Bears losses would be at zero?

Sunday State of Mind: September 14th-September 20th

Photo: Vincent Guth on Unsplash

Wow…what a week in sports. Let’s dive into it with this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Hate to say it, but you already know
Your new US Open Champion, Bryson DeChambeau
Took the trophy home today at Winged Foot
He may be a dork, but can’t argue with his output

Huge injuries came in the NFL
McCaffrey and Saquon, dammit to hell
McCaffrey may be OK, but the Giants fear
That Saquon will be done for the year

Justin Verlander announced that he is gone
The old righty said he needs Tommy John
Three no hitters, two Cy Youngs and a World Series ring
In the world of pitching, Verlander was a king

The Miami Heat continue to cause trouble
They’re the biggest story of the NBA bubble
Two wins away from the NBA Finals
Winning with defense and ball movement, old school like vinyl