The UDS Draft of NFL Draft Names

Football is back, folks. Tonight, we get round one of the 2022 NFL Draft live from Las Vegas. Much like baseball season, the NFL Draft is always a sign of warmer weather and high hopes for fans league-wide.

With each announcement by human circus peanut Roger Goodell, a dream will be fulfilled for a young man who has worked his entire life to make it to the National Football League.

In terms of mock drafts, predictions, who picks who, I could give two shits. What I care about are the amazing names themselves. With that in mind, it’s time to draft our top 10 names likely to be selected this weekend:

10. Sterling Weatherford, S, Miami (OH): this guy sounds more like a British meteorologist than a football player.
9. Isaiah Likely, TE, Coastal Carolina: any name that can easily turn into a full sentence is a winner.
8. Brock Purdy, QB, Iowa State: have to hope this guy gets drafted to a team in the south, the ad deals basically write themselves.
7. Bailey Zappe, QB, Western Kentucky: maybe the second best QB name since Gunner Kiel.
6. Breece Hall, RB, Iowa State: always love a good prospect with some unknowns…was his name supposed to be Brice? Reece? No one knows!
5. Decobie Durant, CB, South Carolina State: this guy was so close to being named after two of the greatest basketball players ever.
4. Coby Bryant, CB, Cincinnati: not exactly but…close.
3. Smoke Monday, S, Auburn: all-time nickname, this is a no brainer.
2. Snoop Conner, RB, Ole Miss: honestly this is interchangeable with Smoke Monday.
1. Sauce Gardner, CB, Cincinnati: this was as sure fire of a number one pick as Andrew Luck.

Good luck to all of the draftee’s this weekend. May none of you get selected by the Jaguars.

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