The UDS Draft of NFL Draft Names

Football is back, folks. Tonight, we get round one of the 2022 NFL Draft live from Las Vegas. Much like baseball season, the NFL Draft is always a sign of warmer weather and high hopes for fans league-wide.

With each announcement by human circus peanut Roger Goodell, a dream will be fulfilled for a young man who has worked his entire life to make it to the National Football League.

In terms of mock drafts, predictions, who picks who, I could give two shits. What I care about are the amazing names themselves. With that in mind, it’s time to draft our top 10 names likely to be selected this weekend:

10. Sterling Weatherford, S, Miami (OH): this guy sounds more like a British meteorologist than a football player.
9. Isaiah Likely, TE, Coastal Carolina: any name that can easily turn into a full sentence is a winner.
8. Brock Purdy, QB, Iowa State: have to hope this guy gets drafted to a team in the south, the ad deals basically write themselves.
7. Bailey Zappe, QB, Western Kentucky: maybe the second best QB name since Gunner Kiel.
6. Breece Hall, RB, Iowa State: always love a good prospect with some unknowns…was his name supposed to be Brice? Reece? No one knows!
5. Decobie Durant, CB, South Carolina State: this guy was so close to being named after two of the greatest basketball players ever.
4. Coby Bryant, CB, Cincinnati: not exactly but…close.
3. Smoke Monday, S, Auburn: all-time nickname, this is a no brainer.
2. Snoop Conner, RB, Ole Miss: honestly this is interchangeable with Smoke Monday.
1. Sauce Gardner, CB, Cincinnati: this was as sure fire of a number one pick as Andrew Luck.

Good luck to all of the draftee’s this weekend. May none of you get selected by the Jaguars.

Cy-Hawk Week Off to a Trolling Start

Photo: Learfield

The biggest sporting event in the great state of Iowa is this week. That’s right, it’s Cy-Hawk football week. While the Cy-Hawk, as noted in the picture above, is technically a series, the biggest event between The University of Iowa Hawkeyes and Iowa State Cyclones is the annual football game. So much so, that the football game itself is worth three points, while the rest of the sports are worth two.

This year’s game is just a bit bigger, though. Both teams are ranked in the top 10, surprisingly the first time both teams have been ranked at all before kickoff. Additionally, ESPN’s College GameDay will be in Ames. Any college football fan knows when Corso and the squad are Comin’ To Your Citaaay, it just hits different.

On Wednesday, the Cyclone Equipment Staff announced their uniform selections for the big game:

Now, for the uninformed, it must be noted that these are typically Iowa State’s uniforms. In the interest of fairness, these are typically Iowa’s uniforms.

Before we dig any deeper here, transparency is key. I am a graduate of The University of Iowa. Hand up, I have some skin in this game. OK, now I feel better.

This is an ultimate troll by ISU, and I love it. As you can imagine, the troll worked perfectly and the Twitter mentions were an absolute dumpster fire. If you don’t have the time or the heart to look, here’s the generic back and forth:

Every Hawkeye Fan: LOLZ! Why does little brother have to dress like us?!?!

Every Cyclone Fan: I wasn’t aware Iowa owns the color black, dumbass!

This is what sports are all about. Rivalries are always fun, especially ones like this, where there isn’t a whole lot else to get up for sports-wise in my home state. So, let the corn on the cob boil, the Busch Light flow, and all Iowans come together for the most important game in a series that dates back to 1894.