A Proper Farewell to Gronk

Photo: SB Nation

The end of an era. Actually, a second era after a retirement from the first era and a few years off to party, wrestle, and party some more.

The picture & intro above is the perfect tornado of anarchy that was/is Rob Gronkowski. One of, if not the greatest tight end of all time officially (maybe, probably?) called it a career on Tuesday.

After putting up Hall of Fame numbers in his nine years in New England, retirement one came in 2019 after winning his third Super Bowl ring. In a year that was surely full of self reflection, meditation, and inward study, we were without the polar bear in pads. But we weren’t without athletic Frankenstein’s Monster for long. A few years in Tampa Bay with one of his buddies tacked on another ring for shits and giggles.

Now comes what seems like the real end of the on field road for Gronk. Trying to picture what a structure free, commitment-less life is going to look like for this real life Ivan Drago is like trying to access the dark web; you could probably get there…but you might regret what you see.

Other than the normal beer crushing, hip gyrating, and tongue waggling, what else might there be? Hollywood could be a landing spot, but he’s already proven in those Subway commericials that he can’t remember his lines. What about the crypto game? Gronkcoin sounds like something that definitely wouldn’t tank. Stand up comedy? He would always be guaranteed at least one laugh, that being his own, which is a great laugh, by the way.

Whatever the guy wants to do, he’ll do, and he’ll probably be successful at it. So farewell to one of the greats. Thanks for the entertainment and for always being yourself in an industry that for some reason often shuns that behavior. As always, keep on party rockin’.

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