Friday News Dump: A-Rod and J-Lo Are No-Mo’

What else is there to live for?

On Friday, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez announced they are calling it quits. They are ending their four-year relationship and two-year engagement.

According to People, the ultimate source on celeb gossip, “[t]his has been a long time coming,”

What a shame.

J-Lo, an experienced veteran at being engaged, has butted her way out of another relationship and engagement. She’s walking out the backdoor, and onto bigger and better things. It appears the enthusiasm for the relationship has been plugged up, the foundation has cracked, and got wedged in a bad place. This is obviously the bottom for the power couple, and it has reached the hind end. It this relationship were a train, this is definitely the caboose. J-Lo took the hearts of all of her and A-Rod’s fans and totally wrecked ’em.

Speaking of A-Rod, a total change has been injected into his life. Being newly single, his business performance will definitely be enhanced. With more time to focus on his business ventures, he’ll definitely come into meetings with bigger balls, not shrunken ones. One can assume he’s really going to be ready to flex his huge business muscles and be ready to rage all over anyone sitting across the negotiating table.

With J-Lo putting A-Rod in her rear…view mirror, all we can hope is that both parties have truly amicably split, both remain happy, and find love down the road.