Photo: People

For the second February 1 in a row, Tom Brady has announced he’s retiring.

The February 1, 2022 was a longer, emotional message announcing a retirement that lasted approximately six minutes. The February 1, 2023 edition was more simple; a one minute video on the beach posted on social media.

So, while TB12 claims this go around is “for good,” it’s only fair for us to wonder if we’ll get a three peat retirement announcement on February 1, 2024. The only logical way to keep all options open, in our opinion, is a good ‘ol fashion’d Mad Lib:

It was a __________ (adjective) day in February 2024. Tom Brady just finished his __________ (number) season playing in the NFL, and he was still the __________ (synonym for best) quarterback in the NFL.

Here we go again, another retirement announcement, this is just getting __________ (synonym for dumb). We were all __________ (emotion) in 2022, but were tricked. Then 2023 came around, and we all felt a little more __________ (emotion) the second time around. Fool me once, shame on __________ (not me) fool me twice, shame on __________ (not you).

He made it through it all, being definitely wrongly accused of __________ (not inflated) footballs, smashing his __________ (not a landline) that was evidence. Doing anything he could to win, up to and potentially including __________ (not not recording) other team’s practices to steal signals.

We were all __________ (adjective) to have watched the greatest quarterback of __________ (specific amount of time). But __________ (yes/no/maybe), this is totally it. It is February 24, 2024, and Tom Brady has definitely retired.

So a big, heartfelt congratulations to Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. on his second, and absolutely 100% final, retirement. We cannot wait to see what’s next, which will definitely not be football. Ever again.