A Mad Lib of Where Tom Brady Will Be February 1, 2024

Photo: People

For the second February 1 in a row, Tom Brady has announced he’s retiring.

The February 1, 2022 was a longer, emotional message announcing a retirement that lasted approximately six minutes. The February 1, 2023 edition was more simple; a one minute video on the beach posted on social media.

So, while TB12 claims this go around is “for good,” it’s only fair for us to wonder if we’ll get a three peat retirement announcement on February 1, 2024. The only logical way to keep all options open, in our opinion, is a good ‘ol fashion’d Mad Lib:

It was a __________ (adjective) day in February 2024. Tom Brady just finished his __________ (number) season playing in the NFL, and he was still the __________ (synonym for best) quarterback in the NFL.

Here we go again, another retirement announcement, this is just getting __________ (synonym for dumb). We were all __________ (emotion) in 2022, but were tricked. Then 2023 came around, and we all felt a little more __________ (emotion) the second time around. Fool me once, shame on __________ (not me) fool me twice, shame on __________ (not you).

He made it through it all, being definitely wrongly accused of __________ (not inflated) footballs, smashing his __________ (not a landline) that was evidence. Doing anything he could to win, up to and potentially including __________ (not not recording) other team’s practices to steal signals.

We were all __________ (adjective) to have watched the greatest quarterback of __________ (specific amount of time). But __________ (yes/no/maybe), this is totally it. It is February 24, 2024, and Tom Brady has definitely retired.


So a big, heartfelt congratulations to Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. on his second, and absolutely 100% final, retirement. We cannot wait to see what’s next, which will definitely not be football. Ever again.

Sunday State of Mind: December 5th-December 11th

Photo: Toppr

If your job was to be a good sports fan, you’d be great at your work. But we can’t keep up with everything right? Don’t fret, SSM is here.

Big matchup in NoCal, Niners and the Bucs
Late round QB matchup that was not deluxe
Brock Purdy and Tom Brady, six and seventh rounders
Niners blew them out, Bucs continue to flounder

You can say this sentence now: the Lions are good
Won five of their last six, winning games they should
Also ones they shouldn’t, beat the big bad Vikings
Sent Kirk Cousins and his not great roster hiking

MLB free agency, most big names are signed
Billions worth of contracts, pockets have been lined
Carlos Correa is the last big name to sign a deal
Going to be a huge contract, teams will have to kneel

A Philly 50 burger, for Joel Embiid
Singlehandedly made the Charlotte Hornets bleed
Twenty nine for Scary Terry, Kelly Oubre too
Not nearly enough for what the Hornets tried to do

Sunday State of Mind: November 7th-November 13th

Photo: Dreamstime.com

Like real seasons, sports seasons come and go. We’re halfway home on the NFL season and almost done with college football. This week’s SSM is another celebration of that and more.

Big weekend for college football
Some big blowouts, some big teams fall
Bruins down, Ducks lose, Wildcats too
Another fun week in 2022

Raiders and Colts, the big debut
Jeff Saturday, what would he do?
Vegas was the perfect place
Colts win, Raiders a disgrace

A football first in Germany
For the Bucs and Tom Brady
Beat the Seahawks and Geno
Brady is the goat, we know

Bills and Vikings, holy shit
This game was great, every bit
Big win for Minny, the boys are buzzin’
Here comes iced out jacked Kirk Cousins

Sunday State of Mind: October 31st-November 6th

Photo: Wallpaper Access

We had the last sports equinox of the year this week. That and more in our latest SSM.

World Series is over, new kings have been crowned
Astros win another one, and are parade bound
No trash can drama this time, at least no rumors yet
If you were to wager though, might not be a bad bet

Some major programs going down in college football
Alabama lost again, Tennessee also did fall
Clemson also lost to an unranked Notre Dame
This part of the football season never comes up lame

We got vintage Tom Brady against the LA Rams
Still trying to beat the notion that the Bucs are shams
Come back win, fourth quarter drive, TB played the right cards
Also became the first QB with 100k yards

Other end of the spectrum, one guy just getting started
Justin Fields running the ball at a level uncharted
Broke the rushing record for a QB in a game
One hundred seventy-eight yards, left the field aflame

The biggest story of the week, what else can we say
The Nets made the right move by keeping Kyrie at bay
Terrible post, terrible week, he doesn’t seem to care
The constant act this guy gives us is starting to wear

Sunday State of Mind: October 17th-October 23rd

Another week where sports just unmercifully punched us in the face…and we liked it. Let’s review the pounding with prose in this week’s SSM.

Your NL pennant winners, those pesky Fightin’ Phils!
Took the Padres out, this team is full of thrills
Harper, Schwarber, Wheeler, the list goes on and on
If they play the Astros, series won’t be a yawn

Something rare happened this week, an NFL trade
Niners’ Christian McCaffrey, Frisco not afraid
Made his debut today, got a few plays in
Chiefs came to The Bay however, got themselves the win

Speaking of the Panthers, took it to the Bucs?
Hard to say but it seems like Tampa Bay just sucks
Lot of season left for TB and the boys
Don’t be shocked if they come back and make postseason noise

The NBA is back, first games have come and gone
Just another sport this time of year loves to add on
Some early surprises, Sixers and the Lakers blank
The Jazz keep winning even though they’re clearly trying to tank

Sunday State of Mind: September 19th-September 25th

Save for a few more games, the sports have completed their sportsing this weekend. Let’s look back together at all the happenings in this week’s SSM.

The Albert Pujols show, big episode this week
Joined the 700 club, not bad for an antique
He did it in style, two bombs out in LA
The Yankees home run record keeping Aaron Judge at bay

Tough week in Miami, The U indeed not back
MTSU came to town, Hurricanes blue and black
First year, new coach for the ‘canes, so this isn’t the end
Another upset like this though, things may just start to bend

TB12 and A-Rod, who’s your favorite old QB
On field goat debate, what a thing to see
Could not care less who won the game, what matters to us most
Was how the hell did a bee swarm end up on the goal post?

Colts and the Chiefs, thought this would be easy
By the end of the game Kansas City fans were queasy
Big upset for Indy, Matt Ryan won a big one
Tough loss for the Chiefs, Andy Reid had no fun

Sunday State of Mind: August 15th-August 21st

Photo: Peta Pixel

This week’s SSM has it all; mystery absences, crumbling baseball teams, and pro-am basketball.

The GOAT of quarterbacks, Mr. Tom Brady
Has been away for some time now, kind of seems shady
Assuming everyone is fine, the best theory has come
That he’s been filming Masked Singer, if true how great and dumb

Speaking of TB12, what could’ve been in Vegas
Apparently the deal was done, not much more to discuss
Jon Gruden nixed a package deal for Gronk and the QB
Would’ve had two more Super Bowls by now, maybe three

Whose fans feel the worst right now, the White Sox or Yankees
Yanks can’t win a game, La Russa’s brain is filled with bees
New York is at least still leading a tough AL East
Every day Chicago’s playoff chances just decrease

Pro-am basketball has become a hit this summer
The latest was The Crawsover, event was not a bummer
LeBron, Tatum, Holmgren, the lineup was real deep
A cool environment to get to see the big boys leap

Sunday State of Mind: May 30th-June 5th

The weather has turned as we are past the unofficial opening of summer. The beautiful forecast calls for some beautiful sports poetry.

The NBA Finals, Boston and The Bay
Warriors and Celtics are here to play
Al Horford and the boys took game one on the road
If they win again tonight Draymond might explode

Capital One’s The Match, the QB edition
Four of our top quarterbacks in the competition
Brady, Rodgers, Patty, Josh, young guns verse the old
ARod and TB12 took it to them for the gold

Baseball staying relevant, thanks to the NFL
Tommy Pham’s a wildcard, we’re saying “what the hell?”
Who hasn’t wanted to slap a fellow league member
Fantasy football means a lot, Tommy’s got a temper

Avalanche and Rangers, not a lot of spoilers
Both looking for a sweep against the Lightning and the Oilers
Only a few shots left for Tampa and Edmonton
If they don’t get it in gear both squads will soon be done

Sunday State of Mind: January 17th-January 23rd

And then there were four. It’s NFL Divisional Playoff Weekend. We recap in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

The Cincinnati Bengals, also known as Cinderella
Their quarterback Joe Burrow sure is one talented fella
Bengals went down to Nashville, beat up on the Titans
A young team with big talent, NFL should be frightened

Another major upset, Niners over Green Bay
Defense and special teams for San Francisco saved the day
Jimmy Garoppolo has got to be better next week
Otherwise the Niners Super Bowl chances sure look bleak

An NFC West battle, the Super Bowl’s the prize
The Rams came down to Tampa and stuck it in their eyes
Matt Stafford and that defense ended Tom Brady’s year
Rumors are a-floating, will he end his career?

The best for last, Chiefs and Bills
Regulation not enough, overtime thrills
Time and time again, Mahomes comes out a winner
Andy Reid earned himself a nice triple steak dinner

Sunday State of Mind: January 10th-January 16th

One of the best weekends in sports, Super Wildcard Weekend. We’ve still got plenty to go, but in case you missed anything, let’s review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Raiders and the Bengals, first game yesterday
Joe Burrow and the boys from Cincy for sure had their way
Vegas made it close, almost tied it at the end
After the season the Raiders had, we all should commend

Bills and the Pats, Saturday’s nightcap
This one was over early, an expeditious wrap
Bills Mafia came in force and saw their team ball out
Beat the Pats two out of three, some AFC East clout

Bucs and the Eagles, champions verse Philly
TB12 and the boys made them look silly
The Eagles never got it going, and it really showed
Hard to beat the buzzsaw Brady when in playoff mode

An upset down in Big D, Niners and the boys
San Fran’s offense was too much, really brought the noise
Another big playoff loss for Jerry Jones’ team
Ever since the late 90’s that has been their theme