Noted human dirty diaper Vince McMahon appears set to return to the WWE for some reason; as was leaked Tuesday morning.
As our knowledge of WWE only goes about as far as the late 90’s/early aughts Attitude Era, we wondered…what would be the best way for this spry 77 year old to make his return to the squared circle?
Booker T finally brings out the “Sucka” is he’s always referring to from backstage; surprise…it’s Vince.
Gangrel spits blood before entering the ring, someone from the crowd gets pissed and rushes the ring…guess who?
Jim Ross is slathering 12 racks of ribs with his famous BBQ sauce backstage. You already know who’s sitting with him ready to feast. JR responds “GOD ALMIGHTY, VINCE IS BACK!”
Kane enters the ring, raises his hands for the classic pyrotechnics. Instead of fire coming from all four corners Linda, Shane, Stephanie, and Vince all pop out.
Mankind tell someone off screen to “have a nice day,” camera pans to Vince back at his CEO desk.
Mark Henry carries a fully-loaded Range Rover to the ring that Vince emerges from.
Stone Cold classically interrupts Vince’s welcome back party by opening a can of whoop ass and stunning every single person in the arena.
The Rock, whilst making a comeback speech saying he wants to wrestle Vince at Wrestlemania, says he won’t come back to the WWE for anything less than the $50 million he gets paid to crank out terrible action movie after terrible action movie.
Triple H releases a statement saying he hates his father in law.
There’s really no other way for Vince to reinsert himself back into the sports entertainment business than what’s listed above. If there is, we sure can’t think of it.
The Philadelphia Eagles took their first loss this season harder than any NFL team in history.
After taking an L to Taylor Heinicke and those feisty Washington Commanders on Monday Night Football, Howie Roseman and the boys upstairs in Philadelphia went to WORK. On Wednesdsay they signed Linval Joseph, and Thursday followed up with more beef in signing former head bashing person stomper Ndamukong Suh.
With all this action going on in The City of Brotherly Love, we tapped into our sources to see who else the 8-1 Eagles may be looking to add for a deep playoff run that they hope ends in Glendale in February.
Odell Beckham Jr.
The Eagles traded for AJ Brown in the offseason, addressing a huge hole in their roster configuration. Why not keep adding?
All 32 teams would love a fresh OBJ for the long run, but the Eagles may just be the right fit.
Manziel, the current QB for the legendary FCF Zappers of the Fan Controlled Football League, could bring some stability to the QB room.
Sources indicate Manziel could be interested in a NFL comeback if the fit seems right.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
While Manziel is currently (?) an active football player, Johnson has had experience in the past.
The owner of The XFL, seen here celebrating reading his first entire magazine article, would be a great fit even after recently turning 50 years old.
League circles say The Rock’s recent statements confirming he wouldn’t run for president came from a yearning to make it in the NFL.
The carpenter from Bethlehem has recently had his team leak information to teams that he may finally be ready to join an NFL roster.
Christ did not immediately return our request for comment.
Some big names floating around the rumor mills these days. One thing about the NFL, it’s never boring. It will be incredibly interesting to see how these free agents and others fit in as the season progresses.