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What Should Shannon Sharpe Do Post Skip Bayless?

Chris Cook, , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Awful Announcing

Shannon Sharpe and Skip Bayless are headed towards their inevitable divorce.

Fox Sports announced this week that Sharpe would be leaving the daily two and a half hour yelling fest after the NBA Finals. Sharpe’s ears and vocal chords could not be reached for comment, but released a statement saying they are looking forward to some R&R.

So, what options does Sharpe have for his immediate future now that he’s leaving Bayless all alone in the Fox Sports studios in LA?

Most likely, we’re looking at a move to another network or continuing his podcast. Sharpe previously worked for CBS before hopping over to Fox, so a potential reunion there. Maybe ESPN, who knows. A lot of options out there in the content game.

Coaching is always a possibility. Sharpe had a Hall of Fame career with the Broncos and Ravens, so he knows a thing or two about a thing or two about football.

Sharpe is absolutely ripped, like shredded from marble. Why not look into the security industry? Uncle Shannon rides as hard as anyone for LeBron James. A guy like James can always use protection; it may be a perfect fit for an absolutely jacked retired athlete with some free time on his hands. He also basically already applied for the job.

Finally, Sharpe could get daily colonoscopies for medical research. This would be a fine option, due to the fact that it could help scientific research and sounds more enjoyable than spending 12.5 hours with Skip Bayless every week.

HBO Max is Now Just Max and We Need Shorter Names Everywhere

Chris Cook, , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Today

Big day in entertainment, as a ground breaking change in the streaming world commenced.

HBO Max is now Max…deal with it losers.

The old app is out, the new app is in. That’s right, we all have to download a completely new app, remember our passwords, and do the annoying thing where we have to type on the screen and it takes an hour to enter “Password123.”

As annoying as corporations taking over entertainment is, it’s unfortunately part of the game…there’s an entire writer’s strike raging right now because of this tom-foolery. There’s 1,000 things that happened that lead to this that you can read up on/we won’t rehash here, but the HBO Max to Max transition is just another atrocious incident we as customers have to deal with.

But this name change, as dumb and uncreative it is, got the wheels turning. What other names in sports and entertainment can CEO’s simultaneously shorten and ruin?

In the NFL, how about a name change for Michael Vick’s former employers to the Atlanta Cons? Could the new Monsters of the Midway could be the new Chicago Ears? What about Kirk Cousins becoming the quarterback for the Minnesota Kings?

The NBA is wrought for awful name changes as well. Ja Morant’s team could take on the role of the most untruthful team in the league with a rebranding to the Memphis Lies. Jimmy Butler and the boys could become food critics as the Miami Eat. Former number one pick Zion Williamson’s guys should take on the personality of most positive team as the New Orleans Cans.

If people hate the MLB’s new rules, they’d surely love these team name changes; Miguel Cabrera’s squad could keep the same idea of their mascot, but make an alteration to the Detroit Gers. The worst team in baseball that isn’t from Oakland could move south and become the Kansas City Yals. Finally, and most obviously, that cheater Carlos Correa and co. should really lose one letter and rename themselves the Minnesota Wins.

Honestly, we shouldn’t be publishing the blog. These ideas are so golden and should be used; but for some reason the NFL, NBA, and MLB won’t meet with us…their loss.