It Gets Better, Laker Fans

Photo: The Spun

Laker fans…we’re here to help.

As LeBron, AD, and the boys fell to 0-4 on Wednesday night in Denver, we knew you would need us. It’s low right now, we won’t lie. Times are tough. But you know what, you can’t have sunshine without a little rain, right?

Who cares if you’ve lost three of four by 11+ point margins, that you’re second to last and last in three point and shooting percentage, respectively, or that you have one of the most unhappy superstars of all time in a bench role he hates?

You know what, things can only go up from here, right?!

…right?

Hey, your Cowboys are looking decent! Cooper Rush really held down the fort while Dak Prescott was injured. Number four came back and looked OK against the Lions, that’s always great. Don’t even worry about the fact that they’ve only won three playoff games since 1998. You’ve got Micah Parsons!

How could we forget about your Yankees? Season just ended, understood. But Aaron Judge took all of baseball on a hell of a ride to only come up 11 home runs short of Barry Bonds. Something none of us will soon forget. You have to love the “World Series or bust” attitude…even if you’ve only won one in the last 21 years. It’s still a great feat!

Well, hopefully this helps. Lakers fans, you are some of the best and most dedicated in all of sports. I’m sure this season will turn around eventually. LeBron will right the ship, Russell will get shipped, and it’ll be back to The Lake Show in no time.

…right?

A Full List of LeBron’s Demands After Claiming the Future NBA Franchise in Las Vegas

Photo: Heavy

The King has called dibs.

In a wildly brash answer during a press conference in Las Vegas, LeBron James called out NBA Commissioner Adam Silver regarding the NBA potentially expanding to Sin City.

“He probably sees every single interview and transcript that comes through from NBA players…so, I want the team here, Adam.” said James.

Of course, LeBron is (AKA earned the right to be) the only current player in the NBA to come out and say something so bold while, obviously, still being on a roster. Even so, hearing a guy outwardly planning his next career move in Vegas while still having a lot of work to do for the Lakers is worth noting

While The King’s begging of the commissioner is getting the headlines, there were a number of other demands the 37-year-old James made during the Q&A session:

  • Officially outlawing traveling.
  • Requiring the entire NBA to activate “Zero Dark Thirty-23” during the playoffs.
  • All Klutch Sports clients provided a seventh foul before being fouled out of games.
  • Evolving “All-Star Weekend” to “All-Star Month and a Half.”
  • Any references to receding hairlines meriting a 41-game suspension.
  • LeBron provided an eighth foul before being fouled out of games.

A pretty burdensome list from LeBron. Without question he still has enough sway going into his 20th season to effect some changes in the NBA in the spirit of improving the league as a whole, and definitely not just himself.

Sunday State of Mind: August 22nd-August 28th

Photo: Good Fon

The dog days of summer are about to come to an end, and this week’s SSM is about to begin.

Week zero college football, back in a minor way
Next week all of the big boys, will come out to play
Still great to have real games, that actually count
I think we all missed college football quite a large amount

The sad downside of football, injuries occur
The rough part of the game that none of us prefer
You never want to see a player get carted off the field
But Poe was hurt, really bad, hope he will soon heal

A monster baseball contract, pen to ink this week
Julio Rodríguez wins again, continues his hot streak
Fourteen years, $200 mil, that much is guaranteed
Seattle is a great sports town, this is the guy they need

Big weekend for the Mariners, and their GOAT Ichiro
Inducted to their Hall of Fame, should’ve happened years ago
The baseball Hall of Fame is not far down the road
An incredible player with everything he showed

A bad break for the Thunder, and their big draft pick
Chet Holmgren’s gonna miss the season, Oklahoma sick
It happened in a pro-am, trying to guard The King
LeBron hit him a little hard, made Chet’s little foot sting

Sunday State of Mind: August 15th-August 21st

Photo: Peta Pixel

This week’s SSM has it all; mystery absences, crumbling baseball teams, and pro-am basketball.

The GOAT of quarterbacks, Mr. Tom Brady
Has been away for some time now, kind of seems shady
Assuming everyone is fine, the best theory has come
That he’s been filming Masked Singer, if true how great and dumb

Speaking of TB12, what could’ve been in Vegas
Apparently the deal was done, not much more to discuss
Jon Gruden nixed a package deal for Gronk and the QB
Would’ve had two more Super Bowls by now, maybe three

Whose fans feel the worst right now, the White Sox or Yankees
Yanks can’t win a game, La Russa’s brain is filled with bees
New York is at least still leading a tough AL East
Every day Chicago’s playoff chances just decrease

Pro-am basketball has become a hit this summer
The latest was The Crawsover, event was not a bummer
LeBron, Tatum, Holmgren, the lineup was real deep
A cool environment to get to see the big boys leap

Sunday State of Mind: July 11th-July 17th

The summer sports calendar can sometimes feel slow, but there’s always enough to recap the week that was in our latest edition of SSM.

The Old Course at St. Andrews, another major done
Thought it was Rory’s weekend; but Cam Smith was the one
Big weekend for the Aussie, and he’s a sight to see
We’ll see if he can repeat in 2023

Chris Sale just can’t catch a break, hurt in his second start
Since coming off the injured list, now again will depart
A big investment for the Sox, so far has had no luck
As far as we can read, no players or coaches struck

Juan Soto is a different case, no contract yet for him
Turned down a big payday, future with the Nats is grim
A bold decision to turn down $440 million bucks
Whoever pays the man will have to bring one or two Brinks trucks

Hope you had LeBron James and DeMar DeRozan
On your Drew League fantasy team, both played like the chosen
In Saturday’s game, both filled up the stat book
Can you imagine if LeBron chose him over Westbrook?

Time to Fix the Pro Bowl

Photo: @RapSheet on Twitter

This conversation is long overdue.

After years of useless, uninspired football the week before the Super Bowl, it appears the NFL is finally ready to put the kibosh on the Pro Bowl “game.”

Plenty of decent ideas have been proposed from people who know more about football than we ever will. Those are all good and dandy, but we need to think outside of the box here. The Pro Bowl has arrived at the same level of exciting as paying your phone bill because the crusty NFL won’t open their crotchety brains to some excitement.

But, if we are to believe the well-connected Ian Rapoport’s tweet, maybe things are changing. So I put my dumb brain to work as an unpaid consultant for the NFL to provide some golden alternatives that would be more exciting than their boring ass Pro Bowl game.

  • Closest to the pin
  • Ping Pong
  • Hot dog eating
  • Case race; beer of choice TBD
  • Bench press max out between each conferences kickers
  • Academic decathlon
  • Gardening; the most beautiful landscape wins
  • Post an Instagram story that’s more self absorbed than LeBron James’
  • Bet a significant amount of money on the Maple Leafs to win an elimination game
  • Revved up chain saws engulfed in flames juggling competition

I mean…that’s just 10 off the dome without any effort. If I can rattle off double-digit prime solutions without any effort, those fat cats at NFL HQ can figure out how to fix their Pro Bowl…unless they want to use any of my ideas, in which case I’m open to negotiate.

Sunday State of Mind: February 28th-March 6th

It’s Sunday, there were sports this week, and we’re in a certain State of Mind.

A special week in Indy, the NFL Combine
A chance for NFL prospects to jump, run, and shine
Some major workout numbers, athletic freaks galore
NFL coaches and GMs jaws dropping to the floor

Surprise news out of Dallas about one of their best
Amari Cooper likely gone, Cowboys fans must be stressed
The wideout’s too expensive for Jerry Jones’ liking
So now their number one receiver will be gone, sent hiking

Still in a holding pattern in the MLB
The lockout continues as both sides will not agree
On a new CBA, games continue to be lost
The longer this goes on, more baseball games get tossed

We talked last week about big scores in the NBA
Repeating this week, Jayson Tatum and LBJ
JT scored 54 tonight, Bron 56 on Saturday
Defenses sat on the sideline and watched the big dogs play

We’ve got our first few tickets punched in the NCAA
March Madness is so close, let’s get this underway
Murray State, Longwood, and Loyola Chicago
You know what that means; Sister Jean’s ready to roll!

Sunday State of Mind: February 14th-February 20th

With our Super Bowl hangovers cured, it’s time to move along in the sports calendar. This week’s SSM reviews the week that was in sports.

Baseball’s continued locked out, two sides can not agree
Between the player’s union and owners from the MLB
Spring Training scheduled for last week, of course that’s a no go
Hopefully resolve comes soon so we can see The Show

NBA All-Star Weekend, they always do it right
Skills, three point, and dunk contest happened Saturday night
Cavs, KAT, and Obi, winners respectively
Team LeBron beat Team Durant tonight on TNT

College basketball fight! But not between the players
Michigan’s Juwan Howard was the slap conveyor
Wisconsin winning big, but called a late timeout
Pissed off the Wolverines and lead to the postgame coach bout

Local Millennial Takes Big Career Leap from Cleveland to Los Angeles

After what can now be defined as a disastrous two seasons in Cleveland, Odell Bechkham Jr. has officially moved on.

It only took not talking to his quarterback, having his Dad and LeBron James both eviscerate the Browns organization, and a waiver period in which zero out of the 32 teams claimed him for OBJ to land in Hollywood.

Sean McVay and his perfect hair, Matthew Stafford and his rocket arm, and Aaron Donald and his 0.0% body fat were waiting in the wings, and were the lucky winners of the “Free Odell” movement.

Plenty of reasons OBJ picked LA. Beautiful weather, ability to go boating year round, and a pretty good football team. Who could blame him? One would assume he still has a good amount left in the tank to give to the all in Rams in their Super Bowl run.

The only question left is, will he shack up at LeBron’s crib now that he helped his buddy get out to LA? Only time will tell.

Sunday State of Mind: November 1st-November 7th

Photo: PBS

The colors are changing, but the sports world is not. We look back at the week that was in this week’s SSM.

World Series Champs, your Atlanta Braves
A bonus Astros loss, what baseball fans crave
A total random champ in the MLB
Finally Atlanta fans filled with major glee

Bad week for the Bills, lost to the Jags
No TD’s on either side, not riches but rags
Real life Spiderman meme, two Josh Allens
Final score of 9-6, two teams with no talons

Speaking of bad weeks, Odell Beckham Junior
Got divorced from the Browns, should’ve happened sooner
OBJ got his wish, went and got waived
Time for a new team, and a path to be paved

Aaron friggin’ Rodgers, what a wild week
Talked on McAfee’s show, one hell of a streak
He missed this week in KC, after a positive test
For COVID 19, needs a PR life vest

More bad PR, from the NBA
Two awful owners, who maybe just might pay
For their terrible actions, probably time to go
The Suns and The Blazers, both guys really blow