It’s Literally Impossible for The Baltimore Orioles to Make the Playoffs

Photo: Sports HD Wallpapers

Baltimore Orioles fans, if there are any of you left…look away.

FanGraphs, who describes themselves as “[y]our home for advanced baseball analysis and stats” released their projections for all 30 MLB team’s chances at making the playoffs in 2021:

Seems fairly benign, right? A few surprises here and there, but check out that last line item on the AL East projections…

Nothing? Not a single chance in the entire world that the Baltimore Orioles make a miracle run to the postseason? Even the Colorado Rockies, who traded away their best player this offseason and share a division with the defending World Series champion Dodgers and most exciting team in baseball in the San Diego Padres, have a 0.1% chance of making it. Zero chance?! Literally absolutely impossible, according to FanGraphs.

The beginning of baseball season is always a great feeling. The weather is warming up around the country, spring training is done, and it’s time to get to the games that count. Hope springs eternal that this year might be the year your team hoists the World Series Trophy. For FanGraphs to just cut the legs out from the baseball community in Baltimore before the season even starts is just brutal. Scientifically proven, but just brutal.

I hope Chris Davis, Trey Mancini, and the other 37 Orioles on the 40-man roster who I’ve never heard of take this disrespect and shove it in FanGraphs face. Use this as motivation to outperform those pesky analytics, show everyone in baseball what you’re truly capable of, and exceed all expectations by losing less than 120 games next season.

Go Birds!

Sunday State of Mind (SSM): June 22nd-June 28th

SSM is back in a big way this week. We are glad to be back serving up some shitty poetry about this week in sports.

So please, sit back, settle in, and enjoy this week’s SSM…

Just like the blog, baseball is back
We can’t believe our ears
There likely will not be any fans in stadiums
Still, a reason for plenty of beers

Our best American export Christian Pulisic
Beautiful I must say
Thriving in the EPL
Usually not done by someone from the ‘ol U-S of A

The Texas Rangers released, photos of Globe Life Park
It’s only fair to ask, did they build it in the dark?
It looks like a toolbox that I built in eighth grade metal shop class
An abuse on the eyes, the park is simply crass

Jay Cutler became 2020’s social media hero
Incredible response to an account who’s usage rate was close to zero
Documenting catching who’s eating his chickens, our dear, sweet Cutty
The guy is totally endearing, I wish he could be my buddy