We took a bit of a break from SSM last week. We couldn’t be more excited to return, please enjoy.
Dodgers and Rays, not even here To talk about tonight’s game, because Saturday was so weird Game Four ended with two errors and a slip It was so insane, an absolute trip
A sentence I thought I would never say Things aren’t going great with the Patriot Way Three picks for Cam, and a loss to San Francisco After all their success, hard to feel bad for New England Massholes
Big 10 Football is back, and we had a wild one Indiana beat Penn State on a last second run The call was so close, and was impossible to call How can you not love college football?
On the flip side of college football, Jaylen Waddle Sadly fractured his ankle while going full throttle Another week one star, Badger QB Graham Mertz Tested positive for COVID, both injuries must hurt
SSM after dark! Some late night sports poetry to send you into your week.
We’ve crowned a new champ, The Lakers have won LeBron, AD, and the squad made sure The Heat were done With the win comes the end of the NBA bubble King James lead the way with a series winning triple double
Huge comeback story in the NFL Alex Smith is back, that’s a buy, not a sell Even if his team lost, him being back was a great scene A rare feel good story for The Washington Football Team
Opposite Alex Smith, poor Dak Prescott His seasons over, and the ankle’s shot If you haven’t seen the video, I would suggest not The pressure on Jerry Jones now has to feel quite hot
Moving on to the MLB The bracket’s down to four teams to see Who will take home the World Series Trophy Since it won’t be The Cubs, it doesn’t matter to me
Sunday, it’s here…so is this week’s SSM. Let’s hop in:
Last week of baseball, wrapping as we speak The MLB made it through, and reached their seasons’s peak The postseason starts next week, will be a wild story To see who takes home the COVID World Series Trophy
The NBA is winding down, Lakers took out the Nugs The Heat and Celts could be done soon, makes me sadly shrug Either way, it’ll be the Lakers and LeBron A few more games and before you know it, the NBA will be gone
The NHL is also close to closing out their year The Lightning and Stars are wrapping up, with their grown out playoff beards If the Lightning win on Monday, they’ll be hoisting up Lord Stanley If the Stars pull it out, we’re talking game 7, the cup won’t be won handily
Your NFL surprise of the year, the Chicago Bears Moved to 3-0 today, and this writer cares Trubisky was benched, Nick Foles was the hero Who would’ve thought after three weeks the Bears losses would be at zero?
For those of you who don’t remember, the Houston Astros got in to some trouble this offseason after being outed as sign-stealing cheaters who legitimately stole a World Series from the Dodgers in 2017. They have, appropriately, been mocked beyond repute. One of my favorite Twitter accounts to follow is @AsteriskTour, the 2020 Astros Shame Tour, go follow now if you haven’t yet (also, follow @untimed_down while you’re there). Unless you’re on the Astros roster, or a fan with your head in the sand, most of us agree that the Astros have everything that’s coming to them this season.
This is where our hero, Joe Kelly comes in. Last night, the Dodgers played the Astros for the first time this season, and Kelly took it upon himself to show his displeasure. After falling behind 3-0 to Astros third baseman Alex Bregman, one of the most defiant Astros in the cheating scandal, Kelly buzzed one high and tight right past Bregman’s dome for ball four. After Bregman went to first, Kelly fired two pickoff attempts that, if not caught by Dodgers first basemen Max Muncy, would have caught Bregman square in the ribcage. The unwritten rules of baseball were in full affect.
The Dodgers reliever wasn’t done at that point. Kelly later faced Carlos Correa, who was as, if not more defiant than Bregman in response to the cheating scandal. Correa got a breaking ball thrown over his head before being struck out by Kelly. The post-strike period is where the fun began.
From the aforementioned @AsteriskTour Twitter feed:
The tongue, the pouty face, the “shut the fuck up” to end the performance. It’s all perfect. Mockery at the highest level to the biggest villain in sports today.
All of this eventually lead to “benches clearing,” which is usually pretty weak in general when it comes to baseball. However, with COVID rules in the MLB this season, any chance of any actual fights happening is even lower, so it’s all worthless. I’m just glad Joe Kelly stepped up, did his duty as a Dodger, and made the first of what I can only assume will be many spectacles of beaning Astros this season.
Edit: right after publishing this blog, the MLB announced Kelly has been suspended for eight games. CBS Baseball Writer Danny Vietti put things into prespective: