We’re One Step Closer to College Football

Photo: Football Scoop

We’ve crossed another checkpoint in getting closer to college football.

The preseason AP Top 25 is out, and we’ve got the most pressing headlines for each ranked team.

25. Iowa Hawkeyes: How bad will Brian Ferentz be rooting against this team all season?

24. North Carolina State Wolfpack: Does it suck being the second best Wolfpack we know about?

23. USC Trojans: Since we returned Reggie Bush’s Heisman, can we get some of OJ’s stuff?

22. Kansas Jayhawks: When will this senseless lack of a Mark Mangino Day end?

21. Arizona Wildcats: Have we talked enough about the fact that from 2012-2020 this program was lead by Rich Rodriguez and Kevin Sumlin?

20. Texas A&M Aggies: You guys are weird, and you know it, just own it.

19. Miami Hurricanes: Has this program lost the “Back” race to Texas?

18. Kansas State Wildcats: Has there ever been a program that more represents being ranked 18th?

17. Oklahoma State Cowboys: This ranking matches Mike Gundy’s average BAC whenever driving.

16. Oklahoma Sooners: Brent Venables just signed a six year extension; why does it feel if he gets off to a slow start Bob Stoops is going to swoop in?

15. Tennessee Volunteers: How can this team survive without a QB who can’t throw an orange 100 yards?

14. Clemson Tigers: Without a shadow of a doubt, Dabo Swinney is using this ranking as a sign from above.

13. LSU Tigers: As Brian Kelly continues his transition into a true Cajun, we received an exclusive look at where he would like to be by the end of the season.

12. Utah Utes: Cam Rising continues to shatter glass ceilings in his 17th season as a college quarterback.

11. Missouri Tigers: We need some real journalism done on if there has ever been a better AD/Head Coach name combo than Laird Veatch & Eliah Drinkwitz.

10. Florida State Seminoles: If this ranking holds all season, will the NCAA keep the Seminoles out of the playoff again?

9. Michigan Wolverines: If you think about it, no one would actually expect Sherrone Moore to use Connor Stalions again…might be the perfect time to try.

8. Penn State Nittany Lions: Will this be the first year anything exciting happens for PSU since they’ve had Saquon Barkley?

7. Notre Dame Fighting Irish: This season should be more successful than last, The Golden Domers will have more time to focus on football instead of arguing who’s hotter between their quarterback and head coach.

6. Ole Miss Rebels: Lane Kiffin will call this ranking rat poison, but he continues to be the best head coach on Twitter so honestly the Rebs should be ranked number one.

5. Alabama Crimson Tide: If Nick Saban retired and the team’s still ranked this high, how much of the progrum’s success can we attribute to him?

4. Texas Longhorns: If we don’t see Arch Manning throw more than five passes this season we riot.

3. Oregon Ducks: With the conference move to the Big Ten, will The Oregon Duck mascot have to do less pushups than he did in his Pac 12 days?

2. Ohio State Buckeyes: While Ryan Day was born on third, his team opens up the season ranked second.

1. Georgia Bulldogs: Sure Kirby Smart and his boys can dangerously and irresponsibly race their cars, but can they continue their growing dynasty and keep up the pace in a new SEC?

We can all taste college football at this point. The release of the preseason rankings, however meaningless, gives us another thing to argue about online…and isn’t that what sports is all about?

Michigan Cheated – How the Rest of the B1G Did Too

Photo: Sports Illustrated

The Big Ten has a cheating problem; but who doesn’t?

If I have to hear the name Connor Stalions one more time I’m going to go full Vincent van Gogh. Yes, the entire saga is hilarious. He’s a total dork who is obsessed with Michigan football to potentially unhealthy levels. Each day the evidence continues to pile up that he went all out to help Jim Harbaugh and his coaching staff cheat.

My question is…who isn’t cheating?

If you’re involved in big money sports, with your and others jobs and livelihoods on the line, of course you’re going to gain whatever competitive edge you can get to win. Michigan definitely went overboard with it, but there’s a lot of glass houses throwing stones in this whole scenario.

So, how could each team in the B1G have maybe “bent the rules” to find any type of advantage they could?

Illinois – Brett Bielema showed Iowa recruits his tattoo to get them to de-commit from the Hawkeyes and come to Champaign.

Indiana – made empty promises to players in the transfer portal that if they came to Bloomington they’d automatically get a spot on Shark Tank.

Iowa – confirmed fair and balanced decision making on playing time; denounced nepotism in all its forms.

Maryland – claimed that there is more to the state than crab cakes and football.

Michigan State – forged documents into showing Sparty the Spartan has never taken PEDs.

Minnesota – assured us all that PJ Fleck definitely isn’t a cult leader.

Nebraska – wondered aloud why the other 132 D1 football coaches don’t wear very cool smocks.

Northwestern – continued to swear, under oath, that they are Chicago’s Big Ten team, despite four other conference team’s alumni being in the top 10 in Chicago’s population.

Ohio State – Ryan Day persisted in his vow that he doesn’t color his hair and beard.

Penn State – promised their fanbase that it’s totally normal for a giant cat to be completely naked other than wearing a tie.

Purdue – leaked text messages from Ryan Day asking Coach K about his hair care routine.

Rutgers – “would be a real shame if you didn’t let the Knights cover here…”

Wisconsin – shut down any investigations that they’re working in an underground lab on another batch of high-motored athletic freaks using a certain family’s genes.

It’s really that simple, everyone cheats. It’s a widespread misdemeanor that is prevalent in big time college sports. Anyone with a few minutes and access to Google could find out all of the above-mentioned elusiveness of NCAA bylaws.

Aaaaand We’re Off

We made it.

It’s the first Thursday of college football season, and we’ve got 16(!) games to watch/cherish/bet.

The buffet has plenty of options, with the best options of the night being a B1G Conference matchup between Penn State & Purdue and The Backyard Brawl between Pitt & WVU.

Sure, we had a little appetizer of Northwestern and Nebraska (lol) last week, but this feels a little more real. A legitimate rivalry game and conference game between a historical program and a team who always seems to bring their best in big spots.

Whether it’s Kedon Slovis giving an old fashioned clean rah-rah speech or Purdue’s head coach Jeff Brohm Jeff Brohm’ing, football is back and so is our joy.

So stock your mini-fridge, order the wings, and fine tune those parlays, folks. Welcome back college football.

Sunday State of Mind: October 4th-October 10th

We saw anything and everything this week in sports. We look back fondly in the latest edition of Sunday State of Mind.

A rarely seen building raid, in the NFL
Washington Football Team, what in the actual hell?
Head trainer got busted, DEA involved
Wonder what the charges are, once this all gets solved

Another rarity in sports, a big time title fight
Fury/Wilder III, a boxing fan’s delight
Fury did his job, retained the title belt
A crushing blow to Wilder, to whom defeat was dealt

Number three vs. number four, in college football
Nittany Lions and Hawkeyes, big defensive brawl
Iowa losing early, came back from down 14
Huge win over PSU, a storming the field scene

Another storming happened, down in College Station
Texas A&M pulled the upset for Aggie Nation
Such a rarity to see Alabama lose
Anytime it happens it’s legit breaking news

Playoff time in baseball, division series round
Most series are tight, good matchups can be found
At the time of writing, only the White Sox down 2-0
Getting swept after their year would be a major blow

Sunday State of Mind: October 19th-October 25th

Photo: Frank McKenna on Unsplash

We took a bit of a break from SSM last week. We couldn’t be more excited to return, please enjoy.

Dodgers and Rays, not even here
To talk about tonight’s game, because Saturday was so weird
Game Four ended with two errors and a slip
It was so insane, an absolute trip

A sentence I thought I would never say
Things aren’t going great with the Patriot Way
Three picks for Cam, and a loss to San Francisco
After all their success, hard to feel bad for New England Massholes

Big 10 Football is back, and we had a wild one
Indiana beat Penn State on a last second run
The call was so close, and was impossible to call
How can you not love college football?

On the flip side of college football, Jaylen Waddle
Sadly fractured his ankle while going full throttle
Another week one star, Badger QB Graham Mertz
Tested positive for COVID, both injuries must hurt