7 Uses for the Next Life of the “Staples Center” Sign

Photo: @LegionHoops on Twitter

A sad day for Lakers, Clippers, Sparks, and Kings fans.

On Monday, pictures surfaced of the famous red blocked “Staples Center” signage being removed from the arena in Los Angeles. The de-signing took place after it was announced the venue would undergo a name change to Crypto.com Arena, with an official name change marked for Christmas Day.

We’re talking Hollywood here, land of entertainment and retreads. So, there has to be some kind of creative venture for these now-homeless letters to stick around LA, right?

What kind of next life could be in store for our old friends S-T-A-P-L-E-S-C-E-N-T-E-R?

Escapees

Escape rooms have really come on in popularity in the past few years. If you’re looking to get into the industry, what better way to get some foot traffic through your doors than naming your business “Escapees,” all while flaunting the caveat that the letters came from Staples Center?

Etcetera

Can we be done with the phrase “Thrift Shop?” For what is indeed a great business, it sounds so degrading. Donators always have more in their closets than they need…some would go as far as to call unmentioned, extra items “Etcetera,” correct? What if those looking for some cheap second hand clothes walked into “Etcetera,” the hottest new co-op downtown?

Pacesetters

Lot of runners out there. Those psychopaths who knock out marathons like it’s their jobs. Doesn’t “Pacesetters” sound like a bar that these physically-gifted freaks could gather and talk about shin splints, nipple chafing, and whatever else happens when you run for extended periods of time?

Caprese

Upscale salad bar, enough said.

Actress

I’m no big time Hollywood agent, but I do know that our entertainers in the TV and movie industries do these things calls “head shots.” If I’m an aspiring actress trying to stand out from the crowd at an audition, I’m buying the Staples Center sign, posing right in front of “Actress,” and watch the bank account overflow.

Teen Crap

Zodiac rings, BTS posters, Tik Tok ideas. Everything you need for your favorite youth all in one place. Come on in to “Teen Crap” and let your favorite 13-19 year old max out your credit card on totally worthwhile stuff!

Relapse

This absolutely sounds like an insensitive name to call a bar in LA. We wouldn’t make that joke though, totally tasteless.

Los Angeles, there you go. Your homework is done for you, you’re welcome. It’s up to you now to make sure the letters of “Staples Center” do not fade into memory as a worthless and out of date member of society…kind of like the actual store Staples.

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