7 Uses for the Next Life of the “Staples Center” Sign

December 6, 2021 Chris CookBTS, Los Angeles Clippers, Los Angeles Kings, Los Angeles Lakers, Los Angeles Sparks, NBA, Staples Center, Tik TokLeave a comment

A sad day for Lakers, Clippers, Sparks, and Kings fans.

On Monday, pictures surfaced of the famous red blocked “Staples Center” signage being removed from the arena in Los Angeles. The de-signing took place after it was announced the venue would undergo a name change to Crypto.com Arena, with an official name change marked for Christmas Day.

We’re talking Hollywood here, land of entertainment and retreads. So, there has to be some kind of creative venture for these now-homeless letters to stick around LA, right?

What kind of next life could be in store for our old friends S-T-A-P-L-E-S-C-E-N-T-E-R?

Escapees

Escape rooms have really come on in popularity in the past few years. If you’re looking to get into the industry, what better way to get some foot traffic through your doors than naming your business “Escapees,” all while flaunting the caveat that the letters came from Staples Center?

Etcetera

Can we be done with the phrase “Thrift Shop?” For what is indeed a great business, it sounds so degrading. Donators always have more in their closets than they need…some would go as far as to call unmentioned, extra items “Etcetera,” correct? What if those looking for some cheap second hand clothes walked into “Etcetera,” the hottest new co-op downtown?

Pacesetters

Lot of runners out there. Those psychopaths who knock out marathons like it’s their jobs. Doesn’t “Pacesetters” sound like a bar that these physically-gifted freaks could gather and talk about shin splints, nipple chafing, and whatever else happens when you run for extended periods of time?

Caprese

Upscale salad bar, enough said.

Actress

I’m no big time Hollywood agent, but I do know that our entertainers in the TV and movie industries do these things calls “head shots.” If I’m an aspiring actress trying to stand out from the crowd at an audition, I’m buying the Staples Center sign, posing right in front of “Actress,” and watch the bank account overflow.

Teen Crap

Zodiac rings, BTS posters, Tik Tok ideas. Everything you need for your favorite youth all in one place. Come on in to “Teen Crap” and let your favorite 13-19 year old max out your credit card on totally worthwhile stuff!

Relapse

This absolutely sounds like an insensitive name to call a bar in LA. We wouldn’t make that joke though, totally tasteless.

Los Angeles, there you go. Your homework is done for you, you’re welcome. It’s up to you now to make sure the letters of “Staples Center” do not fade into memory as a worthless and out of date member of society…kind of like the actual store Staples.

Who Wore it Best? 19-10

September 17, 2021November 17, 2021 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Alex Rodriguez, Arizona Cardinals, Arizona Coyotes, Atlanta Hawks, Barry Larkin, Bart Starr, Bob Griese, Boston Bruins, Brett Hull, Brooklyn Nets, Buffalo Bills, Calgary Flames, Carlos Beltran, Chicago Blackhawks, Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Cavaliers, Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rockies, Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Stars, Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Denis Savard, Denver Broncos, Detroit Red Wings, Edmonton Oilers, Ernie Banks, Fran Tarkenton, Golden State Warriors, Green Bay Packers, Guy Lafleur, Harlem Globetrotters, Houston Astros, Indianapolis Colts, Jarome Iginla, Jim Edmonds, Jim Kelly, Joe Montana, John Stockton, Johnny Unitas, Jonathan Toews, Kansas City Chiefs, Kansas City Royals, Larry Fitzgerald, Los Angeles Angels, Los Angeles Chargers, Los Angeles Kings, Los Angeles Lakers, Mark Messier, Miami Dolphins, Milwaukee Brewers, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Vikings, MLB, Montreal Canadiens, Montreal Expos, NBA, New England Patriots, New York Giants, New York Knicks, New York Mets, New York Yankees, NFL, NHL, Oscar Robertson, Pete Rose, Peyton Manning, Philadelphia 76ers, Philadelphia Phillies, Philip Rivers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Pittsburgh Steelers, Roger Staubach, San Diego Padres, San Francisco 49ers, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, St. Louis Blues, St. Louis Cardinals, Steve Yzerman, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tampa Bay Lightning, Terry Bradshaw, Texas Rangers, Todd Helton, Tom Brady, Tony Gwynn, Utah Jazz, Vancouver Canucks, Walt Frazier, Whitey Ford, Willis Reed, Wilt ChamberlainLeave a comment

The finish line is in sight on our recurring series “Who Wore It Best.” In our penultimate edition, we’re getting into the teens.

19 – Johnny Unitas

Starting off young, fresh, and hip. While 19 turns out to be an incredibly strongly represented number, Unitas is widely known as one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL. Four championships, three MVPs, and a member of all three of the 50th, 75th and 100th NFL Anniversary Teams gives Johnny U the nod.

Honorable Mentions: Tony Gwynn, Willis Reed, Steve Yzerman, Jonathan Toews

18 – Peyton Manning

Back to back Colts quarterbacks to get us started here. A member of the most recent Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee class, Manning put up some unreal numbers en route to two Super Bowl wins. Manning’s trophy case is busting at the seams with five MVPs, the 2012 Comeback Player of the Year Award, and number retirement plaques for his number 18 in both Indianapolis and Denver.

Honorable Mention: Denis Savard

17 – Todd Helton

Todd Helton played baseball and football at University of Tennessee, and was a teammate of Peyton Manning’s. However, Helton makes our list for his accomplishments on the diamond. Helton retired in 2013 with a career average of .316, 369 home runs, and 2,519 hits. Along the way, he won three Gold Gloves, four Silver Sluggers, and a batting title in 2000.

Honorable Mention: Philip Rivers

16 – Joe Montana

Much like Unitas, Montana is a firm part of the “best quarterback of all-time” conversation. Montana lead the 49ers to four Super Bowl rings, while being the MVP in three of those four wins. One of the more accurate quarterbacks of his time, he lead the NFL in completion percentage five separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Whitey Ford, Brett Hull

15 – Bart Starr

If we’re including Johnny Unitas, it’s only fair to involve Bart Starr. The quarterback who lead the Packers to victories in Super Bowls I and II, while winning MVP in both games, finished his career with five championships, a regular season MVP award, and four Pro Bowls.

Honorable Mentions: Carlos Beltran, Jim Edmonds

14 – Pete Rose

Taking a bit of gamble including Rose on our list, but here we are. The all-time hit king (4,256) does have a stellar on-field resumé. Seventeen All-Star games, three World Series rings, the 1973 NL MVP, and two Gold Gloves.

Honorable Mentions: Ernie Banks, Oscar Robertson, Dan Fouts

13 – Wilt Chamberlain

Of course the only man to score 100 points in an NBA game is making our list. Wilt the Stilt averaged a silly 30.9 points per game and 22.9 rebounds per game over his 15 year career. He also won two rings, four MVPs, was a seven time scoring champion, as well as an 11 time rebound champion.

Honorable Mentions: Alex Rodriguez, Dan Marino

12 – Tom Brady

The greatest quarterback of all time at the most important position in sports. TB12’s resumé is too long to outline here; but it’s headlined by his seven Super Bowl rings. On top of that, Brady has lead the league at one point in his career in passing touchdowns, yards, and rating.

Honorable Mentions: John Stockton, Terry Bradshaw, Roger Staubach, Jim Kelly, Joe Namath, Bob Griese, Aaron Rodgers, Jarome Iginla

11 – Mark Messier

Being the center piece of a dynasty goes a long way in lists like these. Messier was the unquestioned leader & captain in Edmonton, where he lead the Oilers to five Stanley Cups. He also became the only player to captain two separate teams to Stanley Cup victories when he lead the Rangers to the cup in 1994.

Honorable Mentions: Barry Larkin, Larry Fitzgerald

10 – Fran Tarkenton

Fran Tarkenton walked to Steve Young, Michael Vick, and the like could run. Not only did Tarkenton sling it for 47,003 yards and 342 touchdowns, he also ran for 3,674 yards and 32 touchdowns in his career. Another fun fact: his only MVP season came in 1975, his 15th year in the NFL.

Honorable Mentions: Walt Frazier, Guy Lafleur

Heavy quarterback representation here. Any other noise was a faint whisper from baseball. Abysmal showing by hockey and basketball. We’ll bid farewell to our ongoing series in the next edition of “Who Wore It Best.”

Who Wore it Best? 39-30

August 11, 2021 Chris CookAeneas Williams, Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Braves, Atlanta Thrashers, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics, Brooklyn Nets, Buffalo Bills, Buffalo Sabres, Chicago Bears, Chicago Blackhawks, Chicago Bulls, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Browns, Cleveland Cavaliers, Cleveland Indians, Colorado Avalanche, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos, Detroit Red Wings, Dominik Hašek, Dustin Byfuglien, Earl Campbell, Eddie Murray, Gaylord Perry, Golden State Warriors, Hakeem Olajuwon, Henrik Sedin, Houston Astros, Houston Rockets, Indiana Pacers, Jerome Bettis, Jim Brown, Kansas City Chiefs, Kansas City Royals, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Kerry Wood, Kevin Durant, Larry Csonka, Las Vegas Raiders, Los Angeles Angels, Los Angeles Dodgers, Los Angeles Kings, Los Angeles Lakers, Los Angeles Rams, Magic Johnson, Marcus Allen, Martin Brodeur, Miami Dolphins, Miami Heat, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Wild, Montreal Canadiens, Montreal Expos, New Jersey Devils, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Mets, New York Rangers, New York Yankees, NFL, NHL, Oakland Athletics, Oklahoma City Thunder, Orlando Magic, Ottawa Senators, Patrice Bergeron, Patrick Roy, Pavol Demitra, Phil Niekro, Philadelphia Phillies, Phoenix Suns, Pittsburgh Steelers, Portland Trailblazers, Reggie Miller, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants, Sandy Koufax, Scottie Pippen, Seattle Mariners, Shaq, St. Louis Blues, St. Louis Cardinals, Steve Carlton, Terrell Davis, Texas Rangers, Thurman Thomas, Tim Raines, Tony Dorsett, Tony Esposito, Toronto Blue Jays, Toronto Raptors, Vancouver Canucks, Walter Payton, Washington Capitals, Zdeno CháraLeave a comment

We’re sadly on the downhill turn of “Who Wore It Best.” In this edition, we get into the 30’s.

39 – Dominik Hašek

Hot start for hockey! Hašek was one of the greatest goaltenders to ever do it. His career spanned four decades (1980-2011), and included two Stanley Cups, two Hart Memorial trophies, and six Vezina trophies.

Honorable Mention: Larry Csonka

38 – Pavol Demitra

Demitra seemed to be on track to becoming one of the best Czech players in the game. He recorded 768 points in 847 games before sadly passing in a plane accident in 2011.

Honorable Mention: N/A

37 – Patrice Bergeron

Bergeron has been a steady force for the Bruins since 2003. A part of the 2011 Stanley Cup winning team, Bergeron also made All-Star games in 2015 and 2016.

Honorable Mention: N/A

36 – Jerome Bettis

“The Bus” comes rumblin’, stumblin’, bumblin’ onto our list at 36. Bettis won a Super Bowl (in his home town of Detroit), was a two time first team All-Pro, and made six Pro Bowls.

Honorable Mention: Gaylord Perry

35 – Kevin Durant

An easy choice for what ended up being a stacked slot. Durant is potentially (based on how much you love/hate Lebron) currently the best basketball player on the planet. In a career with plenty of years left, Durant has already put together an incredible resume. The Slim Reaper has two NBA titles (Finals MVP in both), a regular season MVP, six first team All-NBA selections, and 11 All-Star appearances.

Honorable Mentions: Phil Niekro, Frank Thomas, Aeneas Williams, Tony Esposito

34 – Shaquille O’Neal

Another loaded number of selections here, but the most dominant big man of all time takes the cake. The Big Diesel’s career accolades are almost too much to list: four NBA championships, three NBA Finals MVPs, fifteen All-Star games, and eight first team All-NBA selections.

Honorable Mentions: Nolan Ryan, Kerry Wood, Hakeem Olajuwon, Walter Payton, Thurman Thomas, Earl Campbell

33 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

For as much good as Kareem has done off the court, he was as great on it. Six rings, a matching number of MVPs, 10 first team All-NBA selections, five first team All-Defensive teams, and lead the NBA in blocks in four separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Eddie Murray, Scottie Pippen, Zdeno Chára, Henrik Sedin, Dustin Byfuglien

32 – Magic Johnson

We all know how good Magic was as a player. For as good as he was on the court, he may have found his true life’s calling as a hot take artist.

Honorable Mentions: Steve Carlton, Sandy Koufax, Marcus Allen, Jim Brown

31 – Greg Maddux

Maddux is the second of the 90’s Braves big three to make the list, with Tom Glavine making the cut at 47. Mad Dog ended his 22 year career with 355 wins, 18 Gold Gloves, and four Cy Youngs.

Honorable Mention: Reggie Miller

30 – Terrell Davis

Probably going to be our shortest career to make the list. Davis only played in the NFL from 1995-2001, but was good enough to make the Hall of Fame in 2017. In seven seasons, he racked up two Super Bowls, an MVP, and three first team All-Pro selections.

Honorable Mentions: Tim Raines, Martin Brodeur

The 30’s were by far our most expansive edition yet. Huge names and the honorable mention lists were incredible, specifically 32-35. One can only assume the list is going to keep improving into the 20’s.

Who Wore it Best? 99-90

February 24, 2021 Chris CookAnaheim Mighty Ducks, Arizona Coyotes, Brooklyn Nets, Bryant Young, Buffalo Sabres, Cam Heyward, Carolina Panthers, Casey Hampton, Chicago Bears, Chicago Blackhawks, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rockies, Columbus Blue Jackets, Cortez Kennedy, Dallas Mavericks, Dennis Rodman, Detroit Lions, Detroit Pistons, Detroit Red Wings, Edmonton Oilers, George Mikan, Green Bay Packers, Houston Astros, Houston Rockets, Indiana Pacers, Indianapolis Colts, Jason Collins, Jeremy Roenick, John Randle, Los Angeles Clippers, Los Angeles Dodgers, Los Angeles Kings, Los Angeles Lakers, Los Angeles Rams, Manny Ramirez, Memphis Grizzlies, Metta World Peace, Miami Dolphins, Milwaukee Bucks, Minneapolis Lakers, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Vikings, MLB, NBA, Ndamukong Suh, New York Jets, New York Knicks, New York Rangers, NFL, NHL, Oakland Athletics, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia Flyers, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Steelers, Reggie White, Richard Dent, Sacramento Kings, San Antonio Spurs, San Diego Padres, San Francisco 49ers, San Jose Sharks, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Blues, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tomas Holmstrom, Warren Sapp, Washington Capitals, Washington Wizards, Wayne Gretzky2 Comments

We’re kicking off a new series; and we’re going by the numbers. This countdown is dedicated to the best players of all-time by each jersey number. No concrete formula here, just career stats, impact on the game, and some good old fashion opinion. Let’s hop right in.

99 – Wayne Gretzky

He’s called “The Great One” for a reason. Hard to pick a favorite stat to demonstrate Gretzky’s dominance, but one of my favorites is that if he never scored a goal, he still would have had 11 straight 100-point seasons and won four scoring titles.

Honorable Mentions: Manny Ramirez, George Mikan, Warren Sapp

98 – Casey Hampton

Not a widely popular number, so not our largest name on the list. Appropriately nicknamed “Big Snacks,” Hampton made five Pro Bowls as the Steelers nose tackle in the early aughts.

Honorable Mentions: Jason Collins

97 – Jeremy Roenick

Maybe not the best guy, but a pretty good hockey player. The eighth overall pick in the 1988 NHL draft scored 1,216 points in 1,363 games played.

Honorable Mentions: Bryant Young, Cam Heyward

96 – Cortez Kennedy

Kennedy recorded 58 sacks in his 11 seasons for the Seahawks. He recorded 569 tackles and 11 forced fumbles.

Honorable Mentions: Metta World Peace, Tomas Holmstrom

95 – Richard Dent

A bonafide Hall of Famer who was a part of one of the greatest defenses of all time, the ’85 Bears. What more can you ask for?

Honorable Mentions: N/A

94 – Charles Haley

The defensive centerpiece of two all-time franchises in the Cowboys and 49ers.

Honorable Mention: Demarcus Ware

93 – John Randle

Anyone who goes undrafted in their respective sport and go on to become a Hall of Famer is good enough for this list. Randle made seven Pro Bowls and was a six time first team All-Pro selection en route to Canton.

Honorable Mentions: Pat Neshak, Metta World Peace

92 – Reggie White

“The Minister of Defense” was one of the greatest free agent signings of all time, when he left the Philadelphia Eagles in 1992 and signed with the Green Bay Packers. He finished his career with 198 sacks, two NFL defensive player of the year awards, and a Super Bowl ring.

Honorable Mentions: DeShawn Stevenson, Gabriel Landeskog

91 – Dennis Rodman

An obvious answer for a surprisingly strong number. But Rodman’s five rings, seven NBA All-Defensive first selections, and nearly 12,000 career rebounds puts him on our list.

Honorable Mentions: Kevin Greene, Sergei Fedorov

90 – Ndamukong Suh

Suh has had a late-career number change to 93, but he donned 90 early in his career for the Lions when he was arguable at his best. During his time rocking the big 9-0, Suh was the NFL Rookie of the Year, made four Pro Bowls, and was a three time NFL First Team All-Pro.

Honorable Mention: Ryan O’Reilly

High numbers, a lot of hockey players and defensive lineman, to be expected. Will we have some different sports and positions represented in our next set of jersey numbers, 89-80? Only time will tell.