It’s that time of year! For the third consecutive season, the fashion department here at UDS has been called upon to make stupid jokes about the latest versions of the NBA “City Edition” jerseys. Let’s get right down to business.
Chicago Bulls – I think the designer for this one forgot the assignment was due at midnight and remembered at 11:53PM.
Wow…another year, another set of middle-of-the-road uniforms with even worse jokes to go with them. Thanks for the opportunity to create content, NBA.
Deadline Day in the NBA has come and gone. With it, countless useless names moving from city to city that will have little to no impact on anything.
BUT, there are a few moves every year that draw interest. For every Daniel Thies or George Hill there’s a Pau Gasol or Carmelo Anthony. This year was no different; the league was dressed head to toe with deadline deals.
Another trade deadline day for the league with the most fashion forward athletes did not disappoint. With that in mind, what would some of the trades we saw today be if they were clothing items?
Kings/Bucks/Clippers/Pistons: Donte DiVincenzo, Trey Lyles, Josh Jackson, Serge Ibaka, two second round picks, Rodney Hood, Semi Ojele, Marvin Bagley III:
Look at those names above. The Nets gave up an aging forward who can’t stay in once place for too long and got a superstar point guard, a three point sniper, a top five rebounder, and reloaded on draft picks.
There’s nothing else to say here; the 76ers got fleeced.
One more year of Woj bombs and Shams slams at their peak deadline day performance. Now we have the buyout market, and a flurry of other big name moves that likely won’t change anything down the stretch either. This league!
A sad day for Lakers, Clippers, Sparks, and Kings fans.
On Monday, pictures surfaced of the famous red blocked “Staples Center” signage being removed from the arena in Los Angeles. The de-signing took place after it was announced the venue would undergo a name change to Crypto.com Arena, with an official name change marked for Christmas Day.
We’re talking Hollywood here, land of entertainment and retreads. So, there has to be some kind of creative venture for these now-homeless letters to stick around LA, right?
What kind of next life could be in store for our old friends S-T-A-P-L-E-S-C-E-N-T-E-R?
Escape rooms have really come on in popularity in the past few years. If you’re looking to get into the industry, what better way to get some foot traffic through your doors than naming your business “Escapees,” all while flaunting the caveat that the letters came from Staples Center?
Can we be done with the phrase “Thrift Shop?” For what is indeed a great business, it sounds so degrading. Donators always have more in their closets than they need…some would go as far as to call unmentioned, extra items “Etcetera,” correct? What if those looking for some cheap second hand clothes walked into “Etcetera,” the hottest new co-op downtown?
Lot of runners out there. Those psychopaths who knock out marathons like it’s their jobs. Doesn’t “Pacesetters” sound like a bar that these physically-gifted freaks could gather and talk about shin splints, nipple chafing, and whatever else happens when you run for extended periods of time?
Upscale salad bar, enough said.
I’m no big time Hollywood agent, but I do know that our entertainers in the TV and movie industries do these things calls “head shots.” If I’m an aspiring actress trying to stand out from the crowd at an audition, I’m buying the Staples Center sign, posing right in front of “Actress,” and watch the bank account overflow.
Zodiac rings, BTS posters, Tik Tok ideas. Everything you need for your favorite youth all in one place. Come on in to “Teen Crap” and let your favorite 13-19 year old max out your credit card on totally worthwhile stuff!
This absolutely sounds like an insensitive name to call a bar in LA. We wouldn’t make that joke though, totally tasteless.
Los Angeles, there you go. Your homework is done for you, you’re welcome. It’s up to you now to make sure the letters of “Staples Center” do not fade into memory as a worthless and out of date member of society…kind of like the actual store Staples.
A great start to the week for all of us uniform analysts out there. The NBA dropped their 2021-2022 “City Edition” jerseys on Monday. One of our favorite traditions around here is being completely uninformed fashion critics. As we did last season, we are here once again to provide commentary that no one asks for or needs.
Cleveland Cavaliers – at time of writing, the Cavs have yet to post about their City Edition jerseys; simply shocking that an organization so well run would miss something like this. If you really want to get an idea, go watch Hoosiers.
Detroit Pistons – aren’t these pretty much just…their normal uniforms with the colors flipped? Only redeeming quality here is a that hint of Grant Hill era green/turquoise on the shorts.
Miami Heat – year in and year out, the Heat are at the top of any type of alternate uniform list, and nothing changes here. The ability to pull off all of the neon blues, pinks, etc. puts them at an unfair advantage. Excellent as usual.
Philadelphia 76ers – nice 70’s ABA vibe here. The multi-colored side panel gives off a little Nuggets/rainbow feature as well.
Phoenix Suns – the Suns haven’t posted about their City Edition jerseys at time of writing. But, it doesn’t appear they changed anything from last year. Those were perfect, so if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Portland Trailblazers – not a huge stray away from their normal threads, but this still plays. How about the argyle-ish side panel, when was the last time we saw that on an NBA uniform?
Sacramento Kings – the lion logo is above par, the rest is fine. I’m going to use my joke from last year’s review (because it was so hilarious), I can see thousands of bros at Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza rocking these bad boys solely because is has “sac” on it, which is approval enough for me.
San Antonio Spurs – all in on these. Bright colors really work when teams try to think outside of the box on uniforms, and the Spurs’ color history works perfect for this.
Toronto Raptors – the Raptors kind of have a Magic/orange obsession with gold; very random. But you have to give some points here for the old school logo. A dinosaur dribbling a basketball, how absurd.
Utah Jazz – no social media post, and based on the picture above it doesn’t look like the Jazz put too much effort into their City Edition jerseys this year, sad!
Another year, another mediocre City Edition jersey review. This is a fun thing the NBA does every year, and while I’m sure they love the conversation and extra dollars that come with it, the misses are almost always as good as the hits.
A spooky, after dark edition of SSM this week. We take a scary hayrack ride through the week that was in the sports world. Those scrappy bad guy Astros, just keep hangin’ ’round The Braves could have been World Series champs, no king yet has been crowned Atlanta still up 3-2, one more win on the way? They’ll get a chance to become champs this coming Tuesday
The Jets have won a game! What a New Jersey dream Even more impressive, they beat a first place team Tough loss for the Bengals, hopefully a minor stop In what would be a great season while rising to the top
Sticking in the AFC East, but opposite result Dolphins lose their seventh straight, total football insult The Bills bounce back for a win, after a Monday loss Come playoff time, Bills Mafia will not be crossed
The NBA is in full swing, the sports world has no lulls The Eastern Conference has been surprising: Knicks, Hornets, and Bulls Out in the Western Conference, Clippers are 1-4 Hope it will get better, a start the Clips ignore
Got an in state battle, down in East Lansing Sparty came out, beat big brother, totally did their thing A tough loss for Michigan, but they’re still top 10 Another ranked opponent beating Jim Harbaugh again
A really tough two weeks for Iowa football Number two two weeks ago, since then been all fall After losing to Wisconsin, another unranked foe Hawkeyes fall to number 19, there their playoff dreams go
Caleb Williams and the Sooners, rolled up Texas Tech Six touchdowns through the air, Red Raiders saying “what the heck?” Incredible start to a career, the young man is a battler Continues to be special and play over Spencer Rattler
Joakim Noah, the Bulls newest ambassador and one of the NBA’s most interesting men on and off the court, will be properly honored Thursday night in Chicago. The son of a professional tennis player and Miss Universe contestant will get his due at The United Center for his efforts and contributions during his 13 years in the NBA. The Knicks come to town to play the Bulls in a matchup of two of Noah’s former teams for “Joakim Noah Night.”
The Bulls put together a great (long) thank you video outlining what Noah meant during and after his time with the organization.
For anyone who appreciated the Noah/Rose/Boozer/Thibodeau era of Chicago basketball, this whole week has been a nostalgic blur. The Bulls Twitter account has been full of content and pictures that will bring any fan back to an incredible time.
Here at UDS, we would like to join the party in heaping praise on Joakim. Some of his greatest career highlights (in our opinion) are below.
One of the GOAT pictures in NBA, if not all of history.
Where do we even start?
Every single aspect of this picture brings joy. The tan pinstripe suit, the draft day hat barely containing the glorious hair, the gap-toothed infectious smile, the oversized bow tie.
The overall complete contrast next to David Stern makes Noah’s draft day picture one of the greatest of all time.
After his time in Chicago, Noah signed with the Knicks in 2016.
An unfortunately unsuccessful tenure that only lasted three injury-filled seasons.
In an interview with Chris Vernon, Noah admitted: “I can look back at it and say I was ready for New York City…[b]ut I wasn’t. Not just the pressure. I remember after the first game I had 60 people in my house. I’m too lit to play in New York City.”
The blunt honesty is something so rare we get as fans, and Noah should be applauded for being so sincere on such a public failure.
So Jo, Sticks, Mr. Noah, Stickity, and any other loving name we can use, thank you. Your energy, openness, and general vibe made you one of the most entertaining players the NBA has had in its history.
Eighteen former NBA players were charged and brought into custody Thursday after authorities discovered an insurance fraud plan aimed at the league’s Health and Welfare Benefit Plan.
The charges allege that the group of retired players attempted to defraud the plan of approximately $4 million dollars in awards. The plan allegedly involved submitting fake invoices for medical services or equipment needed by players after their service in the NBA had ended.
Pretty serious shit. The list of all 18 players can be found in the link above. The three biggest names in the list of fraudsters was Tony Allen, Glen “Big Baby” Davis, and Darius Miles. Allen played 14 seasons between the Celtics, Grizzlies, and Pelicans. Davis was in the league for nine years with the Celtics, Magic, and Clippers. Miles was an eight year veteran with the Clippers, Cavs, Trail Blazers, and Grizzlies.
This had to have been the biggest steal in all three of these guys’ careers, right? According to basketball reference, Allen averaged 1.4 steals/game in his career, Davis 0.7, and Miles a shade under a full steal per game at 0.9.
No individual stats were immediately available on how much each of these three received from the scam before being caught. But, if we’re going by pre-retirement compared to post-retirement careers, all three are right around their playing days’ stealing average.
After today, all three of their post-retirement numbers sit at 1.0 steals/retirement. Compared to their on court careers, Allen dips a bit, but marked improvement by both David and Miles.
You often hear that even though professional athletes bodies may break down during their playing careers, their competitive drives never leave. Props to these three for continuing working on their stealing ability post-career.
Here we are again, friends. We have reached the end of another week, and we’re here to review in the latest Sunday State of Mind.
Of all the good stories this year, and there are aplenty My favorite of them all may be Trey Mancini Fought and beat cancer last year, but missed the entire season I’ll be watching the Derby this year, and he’s the only reason
Even more destroying of baseballs, the big guy Kyle Schwarber When he steps into the box, pitcher’s crouch in horror Thirteen home runs in fifteen games, guy is on a tear When he’s in the zone like this, it’s almost just unfair
Another no hitter was thrown this week, Dodgers looking like scrubs After starting Zach Davies and throwing three relievers, got no hit by the Cubs It’s the seventh no-no in 2021, tying a major league mark You never know what you’ll see day to day, at the old ballpark
Can’t forget the NBA, Conference Finals in full swing Bucks and Hawks are tied 1-1, Suns are doing their thing The Clippers are missing their guy Kawhi, sidelined by a knee If he doesn’t get back soon, eliminated they will be
We do have one Finals match set, in the NHL Montreal and Tampa Bay, let the excitement swell Will Lord Stanley reside up north? Will Tampa Bay repeat? Looking forward either way for how the season will complete
Happy Father’s Day! Read this week’s SSM to Dad since he was probably napping in his recliner during all the action.
Madden 22 has released their latest cover Two goats, one game, great for football lovers Brady and Mahomes are your newest cover boys On the video game that has given all of us years of joy
Spider Tack introduced itself into the public eye MLB cares all the sudden, truly wonder why No chance that it could be because batting’s now a joke Anything they can do to fix a sport that’s nearly broke
Suns and the Clippers, finals in the West Phoenix and LA going to see who is the best Bucks advanced in the East to face the 76ers or Hawks Philly or Atlanta in game seven, loser has to walk
A heavy dose of NBA this week, as Sunday State of Mind is back in a big way.
Your newly minted MVP is Nikola “The Joker” He’s the best player in all the land, in no way a choker The guy has done it all this year, averaged 26 & 11 Having a big man like that on your team must feel like absolute heaven
Bad news for the MVP, his team is playing the Suns Denver is down three games to nil, looking all but done The Nuggets need a miracle, to advance over Phoenix Looking into Denver’s future, it’s all crying and Kleenex
As of writing this afternoon, all other series are 2-1 Jazz & Clips, Sixers & Hawks, Nets & Bucks, all fun The Bucks stole one at home Thursday, otherwise have looked bad Scary injuries for Embiid and Spider, Philly and Utah need their launch pads