Sunday State of Mind: January 2nd-January 8th

Photo: Wallpaper Access

The NFL Playoffs are officially set. There were other sports happenings as well; and it’s all here in this week’s SSM.

Can only start in one place, and that’s Damar Hamlin
A terrible event to start, but something good begins
The response took our breaths away, honors and donations
It showed the power of kindness has no limitations

AFC and NFC, both top seeds are set
Philly and Kansas City, two offenses like jets
Both great quarterbacks, defenses are strong too
Chiefs would be and old story, but Eagles would be new

On the other end, those Chicago Bears
Worst team in the league, falling down the stairs
Took their 14th loss of the season on the chin
But got the number one pick, so kind of a win

Hottest team in the NBA, place your Finals bets
Won 13 of 14, those pesky Brooklyn Nets
The boys are on a roll more than halfway through the season
Surely no way anything will change, no way for no reason

Untimed Down Sports 2022 in Review

Photo: Matrix Group

Some Thursday thoughts for the boys and girls as we reflect back on 2022.

We had the completely original idea to recap our top 10 stories of the year.

A sincere thank you to all who check out any of our stuff, please continue to do so. For those that don’t, we have an idea for your New Year’s resolution.

10. Aaron Rodgers & Shailene Woodley Split

Photo: People

The sports and pop culture worlds were both crushed at the completely surprising split of super couple Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley back in February.

9. Jeff Saturday Hired as New Colts Head Coach

Photo: Colts.com

This one we’re still enjoying as the year comes to a close. Jim Irsay went full Jim Irsay and hired a guy who played for him over a decade ago with zero non-high school coaching experience. We wanted to hop on the train and fill out the remainder of Mr. Irsay’s dream coaching staff.

8. Russell Wilson Continues to Be a Dork

Photo: Sports Illustrated

This blog was written in May 2020, and was still our eighth most read in 2022. That’s a compliment to both how many times Russ makes all of us cringe and how great you readers are that you keep coming back to this blog.

7. Daniel Snyder is Going to Get All of Our Asses

Photo: Commanders.com

Remember in October when the human version of Mr. Burns Daniel Snyder threatened to take down the other 31 NFL owners? That was great, and scared us into some serious confessions.

6. Kylie Jenner’s Baby is a Horse With No Name

Photo: Refinery29

We all deserve a second chance in life, right? Kyle Jenner certainly believes so, as she renamed her son after a month and a half or so trail period of naming him “Wolf.” Ever the helpers we are, we put together some names we thought might fit. We really liked “Skip TheLine Jenner” but that’s just us.

5. Steve Nash Gets the Brooklyn Boot

Photo: Fadeaway World

Amidst a hurricane tornado of controversy (non of his own doing) Steve Nash was finally freed of his duties of having to coach the Brooklyn Nets last month. We used an AI generator to create his cover letter for his next job.

4. Heard vs. Depp, the Shit Show Trail of the Century

Photo: E! News

This trail was dumped on us for over a month. It was foul, repugnant, and stunk. But we wrote about it anyways.

3. Finally, Some Sex Appeal Back in the NFL

Photo: NY Daily News

News exploded in January that the Carolina Panthers were bringing in former Giants head coach and fashion icon Ben McAdoo as their offensive coordinator. It didn’t really work, but was fun while it lasted.

2. NBA “City Edition” Jerseys are Back

Photo: NBA.com

You guys love reading these, and we love writing them. This yearly blog is always up there on page views; making dumb jokes about each jersey is something we all enjoy.

1. The Over Hits on Calvin Ridley Suspensions (0.5)

Photo: atlantafalcons.com

Our top-read blog in 2022 was an easy bet: Calvin Ridley was suspended in March for gambling on NFL games. We did some serious journalism and analyzed his Twitter account to find if we missed any signs before his gambling habit was discovered.

Wow, what a look back at the year that was. We truly went to some interesting and dumb places together, didn’t we? If you enjoy what we do, tell a friend to tell a friend.

In all seriousness, we truly appreciate your eyes and readership. On to 2023, where maybe Russell Wilson won’t be such a goober.

Sunday State of Mind: November 21st-November 27th

Photo: House Beautiful

The only thing better than the food during Thanksgiving week is the sports. Feast week in college basketball, rivalry week in college football, and more, all in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Feast week brings the upsets, in college basketball
Early in the season, and number one did fall
Friday night the Cyclones upset UNC
Iowa State resumé building early victory

After all these years, feeling like big brother
Recently there seems to be a bigger, better, other
Two years in a row now, and they’re feeling great
Two straight wins for Michigan over Ohio State

A rare win for the Raiders, and even better yet
Josh Jacobs set all the records that ever could be set
Over 300 yards between rushing and receiving
Every time he touched the ball, defenders he was leaving

A NBA homecoming, loving all around
Ben Simmons came back to play in his old stomping grounds
His favorite fans in Philly, I’m sure it felt so warm
He had a double double so at least he did perform

Our Third Annual NBA “City Edition” Jersey Analysis

Photo: NBA.com

It’s that time of year! For the third consecutive season, the fashion department here at UDS has been called upon to make stupid jokes about the latest versions of the NBA “City Edition” jerseys. Let’s get right down to business.

Atlanta Hawks – slick font, but use the peach font you cowards.
Boston Celtics – very cool to hit copy and paste from the Bucks normal uni’s.
Brooklyn Nets – just like last years, using the “Friends” font makes this jersey dumb…but there’s not much the Nets could’ve done that’s worse than what’s going on with that organization right now.
Charlotte Hornets – more like Charlotte Hornys, amirite?

Chicago Bulls – I think the designer for this one forgot the assignment was due at midnight and remembered at 11:53PM.

Cleveland Cavaliers – these jerseys are giving an original Mario level feel; for that reason this one gets a pass.
Dallas Mavericks – another good effort here. Still irrationally angry that a player as great as Luka Dončić wears number 77.
Denver Nuggets – we may have our annual winner of “high school team from a Disney movie” uniforms.
Detroit Pistons – eh, this is an L. Just give us the Grant Hill throwbacks and call it a day.
Golden State Warriors very cool to dip the bottom of your jerseys in pollen; bumblebees everywhere loving this.
Houston Rockets – same look as last year, same result. These are a winner.
Indiana Pacers – we have enough shortages in this country; the Pacers have now added a thread shortage to the list.
Los Angeles Clippers – uh…these are at least the best uniforms in LA.
Los Angeles Lakers – there needs to be a federal investigation into why the Lakers keep trying to incorporate black into their uniforms.
Memphis Grizzlies – very lazy to copy the Vlade Divac/Peja Stojaković era Kings uniforms.
Miami Heat these are pretty similar to last year, but Miami wins this race every year and they’re right up there again.
Milwaukee Bucks – these are a mix of last year’s uniforms and the Kevin Garnett era Timberwolves…yucky.
Minnesota Timberwolves – speaking of the T’wolves…these are like the rough draft of the Nets uni’s.
New Orleans Pelicans – these are fine…would be way better if there were sewed on beads across the front.
Oklahoma City Thunder – this poor organization has never done this well; so not much to expect here. Much like the Pistons, they should just do the Supersonics uniforms.
Orlando Magic – while these aren’t a huge jump from their normal ‘fits, the fact that they didn’t incorporate orange this year like they have in the past is a win.
Philadelphia 76ers – as good as these are, the fact that they’re sponsored by a crypto website make these super sus.
Phoenix Suns – the Suns have nailed these in the past; but I think the Spurs have a case for copyright infringement with these bad boys.
Portland Trailblazers – these are like the away jerseys of the Suns jerseys, and should be included in the Spurs lawsuit. Big year for teal in the NBA.
Sacramento Kings – these are the “high school team from a Disney movie” runner ups, boring.
San Antonio Spurs – exhibit A in the aforementioned legal action suggested in this blog. These are the winners.
Toronto Raptors – so the Bulls designer also worked with the Raptors? Got it.
Washington Wizards – some very flowy flowers heavily featured here…can we start the Wizards to Hawaii rumors?

Wow…another year, another set of middle-of-the-road uniforms with even worse jokes to go with them. Thanks for the opportunity to create content, NBA.

Sunday State of Mind: October 31st-November 6th

Photo: Wallpaper Access

We had the last sports equinox of the year this week. That and more in our latest SSM.

World Series is over, new kings have been crowned
Astros win another one, and are parade bound
No trash can drama this time, at least no rumors yet
If you were to wager though, might not be a bad bet

Some major programs going down in college football
Alabama lost again, Tennessee also did fall
Clemson also lost to an unranked Notre Dame
This part of the football season never comes up lame

We got vintage Tom Brady against the LA Rams
Still trying to beat the notion that the Bucs are shams
Come back win, fourth quarter drive, TB played the right cards
Also became the first QB with 100k yards

Other end of the spectrum, one guy just getting started
Justin Fields running the ball at a level uncharted
Broke the rushing record for a QB in a game
One hundred seventy-eight yards, left the field aflame

The biggest story of the week, what else can we say
The Nets made the right move by keeping Kyrie at bay
Terrible post, terrible week, he doesn’t seem to care
The constant act this guy gives us is starting to wear

Steve Nash’s Cover Letter

Photo: Fadeaway World

The news that was seemingly coming for weeks became real on Tuesday. As many expected, and some wanted, Steve Nash was “relieved of his duties” as head coach of the Brooklyn Nets.

The Nash/KD/Kyrie/Harden/Simmons experiment is officially a failure. In the rare time the Nets were at full strength during this weird expedition, there were flashes. But injuries, egos, and whatever the hell Kyrie does on a day to day basis was just too much, and Nash paid the price.

Because we like Steve Nash here at UDS, we partnered with the fine folks at Resume Genius to build a cover letter for Coach Nash to use while he looks for his next landing spot:

Best of luck, Steve. We look forward to what’s next. Whatever that is, there is 0% chance it’ll be worse than Brooklyn.

Sunday State of Mind: October 24th-October 30th

Photo: Wallpaper Cave

This week, SSM stands for Spooky Spooky Memories. It’s Halloween week and we remember the past seven days of scary sports.

A horrifying football game
Out in Virginia, what a shame
Four OTs, no TDs, frightening thing to see
Petrifying football from UVA and Miami

‘Phils and ‘Stros, baseball’s best
Tied at one, no time to rest
World Series shaping up to be
A scary good watch for you and me

Tractorcito running strong
Scarred the Texans all day long
Titans rolling, looking tough
With Henry running, chilling stuff

Christian McCaffrey, holy shit
Just kept scoring, wouldn’t quit
Ran one, caught one, threw one more
Rams got wrecked, ruthless gore

Lakers and Nets, appalling starts
From winning games, they’re far apart
LeBron, AD, Kyrie, KD
Combined wins is less than three

Sunday State of Mind: August 8th-August 14th

The weekend and summer are winding down…take a breath and enjoy this week’s SSM.

Fernando Tatis Jr., will he ever play again
Almost back from injury, coming out of the den
PEDs and injuries, all self inflicted
Eighty game suspension, the shortstop’s been evicted

NFL preseason’s here, football is so back
America’s favorite sport, just as good as a snack
Always a welcome sight to see the helmets and the pads
Sundays are now booked, watching all the lads

It’s getting really ugly with the Brooklyn Nets
Acquiring KD and Kyrie, maybe some regrets
KD’s getting antsy, wants changes at the top
Something has to change, or this will never stop

Sunday State of Mind: April 18th-April 24th

Another week come and gone, another Sunday State of Mind.

An always touching tribute, a statue was revealed
This week in Oklahoma this one should have stayed concealed
Poor Baker Mayfield, guy can’t catch a break
If I were him that statue would have ended up in a lake

Big loss in Chicago, Eloy Jimenez
Out for up to two months, so the doctor says
Add another name to the White Sox injury list
Tough break for a good team, that bat will be missed

A happier baseball note, it’s Miguel Cabrera
Joined the 3k hit club, maybe the last in this era
Only 32 other players have reached that career mark
Miggy one of the greatest to do it at the ballpark

NBA playoffs are here, and some teams are in trouble
Raptors, Bulls, Nets and Nuggets are all on the bubble
Mavs and Jazz, Grizz and Wolves both sitting at 2-2
We get action everyday as the games continue

If you’ve ever read this blog, you know we love NASCAR
Driving for 500 miles but not going far
The most famous track in all of motor sports
The Talladega Speedway, running today of course

Kyrie Irving’s Wallet Takes a $50,000 Shot

Photo: @Basketball_SK on Twitter

Kyrie Irving had an absolute day on Sunday.

In Game 1 of the Brooklyn Nets’ first round playoff series against the Boston Celtics, Irving brought it all, on court and off. For the uninitiated, there’s a bit of history between Irving and his former team. It all came to a head Sunday when Celtics fans went at Irving and he responded. On the court, he played 42 minutes and scored 39 points (all while fasting for Ramadan, mind you).

Off the court may have been a more impressive showing of not giving a shit; cursing out Celtics fans, making cry baby faces, and letting numerous freedom rockets fly in their faces, as seen above.

Unfortunately, because we can’t have any fun, Kyrie got a $50k fine for giving the fans exactly what they wanted.

In the long run, this won’t hurt a guy who’s made a shade under $160M in his career. In the short term, Kyrie may have to scale back on the budget a bit. Which got us thinking, what will one of the smoothest guards in the NBA have to hold off on now that he’s $50k lighter in the bank account?

I think we can assume things are going to be OK financially for everyone’s favorite weirdo. That sage budget’s taking a real hit though.