LOL at LIV on The CW


LIV Golf: billionaires, private jets, beautiful tournaments and…The CW?

In one of the funniest announcements we’ve heard in recent memory, the Saudi-backed grime balls of professional golf announced Thursday that they (finally) have a TV rights agreement. An agreement that took so long because no one wanted to touch this league with a 10 foot sword, LIV is now partnered with the powerhouse TV station The CW.

That’s right…The CW. Don’t be ashamed, we had to double check that The CW was still a channel also. But it is, and it’s the new home of the bogey blood money league.

According to Variety, The CW is the 25th ranked TV station in the United States, only edged out by the major entertainment players at Me TV, INSP, and Ion, whoever the hell all of those channels are. Digging a little deeper, let’s look at the actual content The CW is pumping out with their year to year viewership changes from 2021-2022:

  • All American, -21.01%
  • All American: Homecoming, -5.19%
  • Walker, -17.05%
  • DC’s Stargirl (cancelled) -32.87%
  • Kung Fu, -17.19%
  • Coroner, -54.17%

This is when it all clicked. LIV is so dedicated to the game of golf, they want everything having to do with their league to match the game. This lead them to their perfect partner in The CW; they wanted to partner with a TV channel whose year to year ratings are extremely under par.

LIV’s new content brethren are showing some real solid golf scores that I’m sure they appreciate. Turns out while we’re all playing checkers, LIV’s playing chess.

Tiger & Rory Announced The TGL and LFG


Suck it, LIV Golf.

Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy launched TGL Golf on Tuesday, with a pretty exciting promo video.

So, to recap: we’ve got top PGA golfers teaming up to play on simulators. This is honestly a great idea and should be pretty watchable.

We are here for it, and are here to help as much as possible. With that in mind, we want to provide some ideas to Tiger and Rory if they are looking for some interaction, as the above video implies.

So let’s list details that have been released for The TGL so far (in bold) with our thoughts & suggestions.

  • Two hour competitions: pretty good amount of time, could push it to three hours if needed.
  • Fifteen Monday night matches: great start, feel free to spread this out to Sundays, maybe some Thursdays. Also, could stretch this out to 17 weeks.
  • Three vs. three team competition: kind of small, maybe move this up to 11 on 11?
  • Eighteen players total (six teams of three): this seems low, need to pump these numbers up. Maybe 32 teams with 53 man rosters each, just spitballing some figures here.
  • Begins January 2024: this seems a tad off. Potential suggestion here would be to start training in August, with competition starting in September through the fall and winter, with the season ending in early February.
  • Using a golf ball: while this sounds smart on the surface, maybe think about moving to a lemon shaped ball with unpredictable bounces. Golfers could potentially also run & throw said ball.

Sounds great right? We’re super excited for The TGL, and think with the above suggestions, this new golf league could really take off and grab America’s attention.

A Farewell Letter to Bryson and Patrick

Dearest Bryson and Patrick,

I cannot believe our time together is coming to an end. With your recently announced departure to The LIV Golf League; we wanted to compose a proper goodbye…this will be hard.

Bryson, how will we go on without your constant endearing chats with rules officials? That quintuple bogey at The Memorial in 2020 was so unfair! Hard to believe you were unjustly ruled against by one official, and when you asked a second official, he also ruled against you. How could that happen?!

Don’t even get us started on those life threatening ants at the WGC FedEx St. Jude Invitational, a mere two weeks later. You were so in the right pulling out Rule 16.2(a) from the USGA Rulebook: “a “dangerous animal condition” exists when a dangerous animal…near a ball could cause serious physical injury to the player if he or she had to play the ball as it lies.” Let he who could possibly manage hitting a golf ball with a few ants on the ground cast the first stone.

Patrick…sweet Patrick. Don’t we all love a perfect lie on our golf shots? That 2019 Hero World Challenge should have been a win, not a worthless third place finish, if not for the unjust cheating allegations. Listen, sand can move with a slight wind, or a club head, but mostly anything else. The fact that you were penalized two strokes for possibly improving your lie was cruel and inexcusable.

Or how about that 2021 Farmers Insurance Open? You may have picked up your ball to improve your lie, you may not have. Who knows? What does it really matter? You were blowing everyone out of the water anyways, we all knew you were going to win. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn’t. Those who think it did can suck an egg. You won that tournament fair and square.

So this is farewell to you two gentlemen of the game. We will miss you as we try to continue on without seeing you in PGA events. We know you will bring your dominance and mental toughness to The LIV. The mental ability to block accepting blood money and still be able to look yourselves in the mirror proves to all of us that you will be able to make this very worthwhile career move.

Give ’em hell, boys!