Untimed Down Sports 2022 in Review

December 29, 2022 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Amber Heard, Atlanta Falcons, Ben McAdoo, Brooklyn Nets, Calvin Ridley, Carolina Panthers, Dan Snyder, Denver Broncos, Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Jeff Saturday, Jim Irsay, Johnny Depp, Kylie Jenner, NBA, NFL, Russell Wilson, Shailene Woodley, Steve Nash, Washington CommandersLeave a comment

Photo: Matrix Group

Some Thursday thoughts for the boys and girls as we reflect back on 2022.

We had the completely original idea to recap our top 10 stories of the year.

A sincere thank you to all who check out any of our stuff, please continue to do so. For those that don’t, we have an idea for your New Year’s resolution.

10. Aaron Rodgers & Shailene Woodley Split

Photo: People

The sports and pop culture worlds were both crushed at the completely surprising split of super couple Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley back in February.

9. Jeff Saturday Hired as New Colts Head Coach

Photo: Colts.com

This one we’re still enjoying as the year comes to a close. Jim Irsay went full Jim Irsay and hired a guy who played for him over a decade ago with zero non-high school coaching experience. We wanted to hop on the train and fill out the remainder of Mr. Irsay’s dream coaching staff.

8. Russell Wilson Continues to Be a Dork

Photo: Sports Illustrated

This blog was written in May 2020, and was still our eighth most read in 2022. That’s a compliment to both how many times Russ makes all of us cringe and how great you readers are that you keep coming back to this blog.

7. Daniel Snyder is Going to Get All of Our Asses

Photo: Commanders.com

Remember in October when the human version of Mr. Burns Daniel Snyder threatened to take down the other 31 NFL owners? That was great, and scared us into some serious confessions.

6. Kylie Jenner’s Baby is a Horse With No Name

Photo: Refinery29

We all deserve a second chance in life, right? Kyle Jenner certainly believes so, as she renamed her son after a month and a half or so trail period of naming him “Wolf.” Ever the helpers we are, we put together some names we thought might fit. We really liked “Skip TheLine Jenner” but that’s just us.

5. Steve Nash Gets the Brooklyn Boot

Photo: Fadeaway World

Amidst a hurricane tornado of controversy (non of his own doing) Steve Nash was finally freed of his duties of having to coach the Brooklyn Nets last month. We used an AI generator to create his cover letter for his next job.

4. Heard vs. Depp, the Shit Show Trail of the Century

Photo: E! News

This trail was dumped on us for over a month. It was foul, repugnant, and stunk. But we wrote about it anyways.

3. Finally, Some Sex Appeal Back in the NFL

Photo: NY Daily News

News exploded in January that the Carolina Panthers were bringing in former Giants head coach and fashion icon Ben McAdoo as their offensive coordinator. It didn’t really work, but was fun while it lasted.

2. NBA “City Edition” Jerseys are Back

Photo: NBA.com

You guys love reading these, and we love writing them. This yearly blog is always up there on page views; making dumb jokes about each jersey is something we all enjoy.

1. The Over Hits on Calvin Ridley Suspensions (0.5)

Photo: atlantafalcons.com

Our top-read blog in 2022 was an easy bet: Calvin Ridley was suspended in March for gambling on NFL games. We did some serious journalism and analyzed his Twitter account to find if we missed any signs before his gambling habit was discovered.

Wow, what a look back at the year that was. We truly went to some interesting and dumb places together, didn’t we? If you enjoy what we do, tell a friend to tell a friend.

In all seriousness, we truly appreciate your eyes and readership. On to 2023, where maybe Russell Wilson won’t be such a goober.

Sunday State of Mind: September 19th-September 25th

September 25, 2022 Chris CookAaron Judge, Aaron Rodgers, Albert Pujols, Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Kansas City Chiefs, Matt Ryan, Miami Hurricanes, MLB, MTSU Blue Raiders, NCAA, New York Yankees, NFL, poetry, SSM, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tom Brady1 Comment

Save for a few more games, the sports have completed their sportsing this weekend. Let’s look back together at all the happenings in this week’s SSM.

The Albert Pujols show, big episode this week
Joined the 700 club, not bad for an antique
He did it in style, two bombs out in LA
The Yankees home run record keeping Aaron Judge at bay

Tough week in Miami, The U indeed not back
MTSU came to town, Hurricanes blue and black
First year, new coach for the ‘canes, so this isn’t the end
Another upset like this though, things may just start to bend

TB12 and A-Rod, who’s your favorite old QB
On field goat debate, what a thing to see
Could not care less who won the game, what matters to us most
Was how the hell did a bee swarm end up on the goal post?

Colts and the Chiefs, thought this would be easy
By the end of the game Kansas City fans were queasy
Big upset for Indy, Matt Ryan won a big one
Tough loss for the Chiefs, Andy Reid had no fun

Sunday State of Mind: May 30th-June 5th

June 5, 2022 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Al Horford, Boston Celtics, Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Reds, Colorado Avalanche, Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors, Green Bay Packers, Joc Pederson, Josh Allen, Kansas City Chiefs, MLB, NBA, NBA Finals, New York Rangers, NHL, Patrick Mahomes, PGA, poetry, San Francisco Giants, SSM, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, The Match, Tom Brady, Tommy PhamLeave a comment

The weather has turned as we are past the unofficial opening of summer. The beautiful forecast calls for some beautiful sports poetry.

The NBA Finals, Boston and The Bay
Warriors and Celtics are here to play
Al Horford and the boys took game one on the road
If they win again tonight Draymond might explode

Capital One’s The Match, the QB edition
Four of our top quarterbacks in the competition
Brady, Rodgers, Patty, Josh, young guns verse the old
ARod and TB12 took it to them for the gold

Baseball staying relevant, thanks to the NFL
Tommy Pham’s a wildcard, we’re saying “what the hell?”
Who hasn’t wanted to slap a fellow league member
Fantasy football means a lot, Tommy’s got a temper

Avalanche and Rangers, not a lot of spoilers
Both looking for a sweep against the Lightning and the Oilers
Only a few shots left for Tampa and Edmonton
If they don’t get it in gear both squads will soon be done

Another Failed Shot: This Time at Love

February 16, 2022 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Buzzfeed, Celebrity, Green Bay Packers, NFL, Shailene Woodley1 Comment

Mere hours after Valentines Day, terrible news coming out of the world of love.

According to Buzzfeed/the entire internet, Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley have called of their engagement:

Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers are reportedly no longer engaged. https://t.co/CnGRAEsXh5
— BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) February 16, 2022

Total annihilation of the heart. Woodley indicated that Rodgers was too football-focused to be committed to their relationship. Now whether that’s a Big Little Lie or not, we may never know. All we can ascertain at this point is that she has become Divergent of the relationship with the Packers quarterback. We aren’t here to put The Fault on either of these Stars.

Rodgers, one of the best to ever do it, has seen this play out before. It, of course, being losing family. The reigning NFL MVP will now get a Discount Double Check on meals as he’ll no longer be paying for two. After today’s excruciating news, Rodgers will not be adding a wedding ring to his one Super Bowl ring; and has been immunized from being in a relationship.

With the status of his engagement no longer in Jeopardy, will the NFL’s Most Valuable Player commit to another year of football? Only time will tell.

Sunday State of Mind: November 1st-November 7th

November 7, 2021 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Atlanta Braves, Buffalo Bills, Cleveland Browns, Green Bay Packers, Houston Astros, Jacksonville Jaguars, LeBron James, MLB, Neil Olshey, NFL, Odell Beckham Jr., Phoenix Suns, poetry, Portland Trailblazers, Robert Sarver, SSM, World SeriesLeave a comment

The colors are changing, but the sports world is not. We look back at the week that was in this week’s SSM.

World Series Champs, your Atlanta Braves
A bonus Astros loss, what baseball fans crave
A total random champ in the MLB
Finally Atlanta fans filled with major glee

Bad week for the Bills, lost to the Jags
No TD’s on either side, not riches but rags
Real life Spiderman meme, two Josh Allens
Final score of 9-6, two teams with no talons

Speaking of bad weeks, Odell Beckham Junior
Got divorced from the Browns, should’ve happened sooner
OBJ got his wish, went and got waived
Time for a new team, and a path to be paved

Aaron friggin’ Rodgers, what a wild week
Talked on McAfee’s show, one hell of a streak
He missed this week in KC, after a positive test
For COVID 19, needs a PR life vest

More bad PR, from the NBA
Two awful owners, who maybe just might pay
For their terrible actions, probably time to go
The Suns and The Blazers, both guys really blow

Who Wore it Best? 19-10

September 17, 2021November 17, 2021 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Alex Rodriguez, Arizona Cardinals, Arizona Coyotes, Atlanta Hawks, Barry Larkin, Bart Starr, Bob Griese, Boston Bruins, Brett Hull, Brooklyn Nets, Buffalo Bills, Calgary Flames, Carlos Beltran, Chicago Blackhawks, Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Cavaliers, Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rockies, Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Stars, Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Denis Savard, Denver Broncos, Detroit Red Wings, Edmonton Oilers, Ernie Banks, Fran Tarkenton, Golden State Warriors, Green Bay Packers, Guy Lafleur, Harlem Globetrotters, Houston Astros, Indianapolis Colts, Jarome Iginla, Jim Edmonds, Jim Kelly, Joe Montana, John Stockton, Johnny Unitas, Jonathan Toews, Kansas City Chiefs, Kansas City Royals, Larry Fitzgerald, Los Angeles Angels, Los Angeles Chargers, Los Angeles Kings, Los Angeles Lakers, Mark Messier, Miami Dolphins, Milwaukee Brewers, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Vikings, MLB, Montreal Canadiens, Montreal Expos, NBA, New England Patriots, New York Giants, New York Knicks, New York Mets, New York Yankees, NFL, NHL, Oscar Robertson, Pete Rose, Peyton Manning, Philadelphia 76ers, Philadelphia Phillies, Philip Rivers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Pittsburgh Steelers, Roger Staubach, San Diego Padres, San Francisco 49ers, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, St. Louis Blues, St. Louis Cardinals, Steve Yzerman, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tampa Bay Lightning, Terry Bradshaw, Texas Rangers, Todd Helton, Tom Brady, Tony Gwynn, Utah Jazz, Vancouver Canucks, Walt Frazier, Whitey Ford, Willis Reed, Wilt ChamberlainLeave a comment

The finish line is in sight on our recurring series “Who Wore It Best.” In our penultimate edition, we’re getting into the teens.

19 – Johnny Unitas

Starting off young, fresh, and hip. While 19 turns out to be an incredibly strongly represented number, Unitas is widely known as one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL. Four championships, three MVPs, and a member of all three of the 50th, 75th and 100th NFL Anniversary Teams gives Johnny U the nod.

Honorable Mentions: Tony Gwynn, Willis Reed, Steve Yzerman, Jonathan Toews

18 – Peyton Manning

Back to back Colts quarterbacks to get us started here. A member of the most recent Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee class, Manning put up some unreal numbers en route to two Super Bowl wins. Manning’s trophy case is busting at the seams with five MVPs, the 2012 Comeback Player of the Year Award, and number retirement plaques for his number 18 in both Indianapolis and Denver.

Honorable Mention: Denis Savard

17 – Todd Helton

Todd Helton played baseball and football at University of Tennessee, and was a teammate of Peyton Manning’s. However, Helton makes our list for his accomplishments on the diamond. Helton retired in 2013 with a career average of .316, 369 home runs, and 2,519 hits. Along the way, he won three Gold Gloves, four Silver Sluggers, and a batting title in 2000.

Honorable Mention: Philip Rivers

16 – Joe Montana

Much like Unitas, Montana is a firm part of the “best quarterback of all-time” conversation. Montana lead the 49ers to four Super Bowl rings, while being the MVP in three of those four wins. One of the more accurate quarterbacks of his time, he lead the NFL in completion percentage five separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Whitey Ford, Brett Hull

15 – Bart Starr

If we’re including Johnny Unitas, it’s only fair to involve Bart Starr. The quarterback who lead the Packers to victories in Super Bowls I and II, while winning MVP in both games, finished his career with five championships, a regular season MVP award, and four Pro Bowls.

Honorable Mentions: Carlos Beltran, Jim Edmonds

14 – Pete Rose

Taking a bit of gamble including Rose on our list, but here we are. The all-time hit king (4,256) does have a stellar on-field resumé. Seventeen All-Star games, three World Series rings, the 1973 NL MVP, and two Gold Gloves.

Honorable Mentions: Ernie Banks, Oscar Robertson, Dan Fouts

13 – Wilt Chamberlain

Of course the only man to score 100 points in an NBA game is making our list. Wilt the Stilt averaged a silly 30.9 points per game and 22.9 rebounds per game over his 15 year career. He also won two rings, four MVPs, was a seven time scoring champion, as well as an 11 time rebound champion.

Honorable Mentions: Alex Rodriguez, Dan Marino

12 – Tom Brady

The greatest quarterback of all time at the most important position in sports. TB12’s resumé is too long to outline here; but it’s headlined by his seven Super Bowl rings. On top of that, Brady has lead the league at one point in his career in passing touchdowns, yards, and rating.

Honorable Mentions: John Stockton, Terry Bradshaw, Roger Staubach, Jim Kelly, Joe Namath, Bob Griese, Aaron Rodgers, Jarome Iginla

11 – Mark Messier

Being the center piece of a dynasty goes a long way in lists like these. Messier was the unquestioned leader & captain in Edmonton, where he lead the Oilers to five Stanley Cups. He also became the only player to captain two separate teams to Stanley Cup victories when he lead the Rangers to the cup in 1994.

Honorable Mentions: Barry Larkin, Larry Fitzgerald

10 – Fran Tarkenton

Fran Tarkenton walked to Steve Young, Michael Vick, and the like could run. Not only did Tarkenton sling it for 47,003 yards and 342 touchdowns, he also ran for 3,674 yards and 32 touchdowns in his career. Another fun fact: his only MVP season came in 1975, his 15th year in the NFL.

Honorable Mentions: Walt Frazier, Guy Lafleur

Heavy quarterback representation here. Any other noise was a faint whisper from baseball. Abysmal showing by hockey and basketball. We’ll bid farewell to our ongoing series in the next edition of “Who Wore It Best.”

Sunday State of Mind: September 6th-September 12th

September 12, 2021 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Atlanta Falcons, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Dak Prescott, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, Jamies Winston, Joe Burrow, Justin Herbert, Kansas City Chiefs, Los Angeles Chargers, Los Angeles Rams, Matthew Stafford, Melvin gordon, Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Patrick Mahomes, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, poetry, Russell Wilson, Sam Darnold, San Francisco 49ers, Sean McVay, Seattle Seahawks, SSM, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Teddy Bridgewater, Tom Brady, Washington Football Team, Zach WilsonLeave a comment

One of the best weekends in all of sports has arrived. The NFL is back and majority of the games have been played. Our annual tradition (one year running) of dedicating Week 1 a full SSM lives on.

We got started on Thursday, Bucs and the ‘Boys
Another year of Tom Brady making defenses his toys
Bucs held off Dak and his squad, escaped by only two
TB12 keeps playing, wins continue to accrue

Seahawks and the Colts, met up at Lucas Oil
Indy’s Week 1 hopes, did Russell Wilson spoil
Seattle starts their campaign with a big road win
Seahawks may be on a Super Bowl run once again

Jaguars and the Texans, oof these teams are bad
Might see plenty of Urban, eating pizza while so sad
Houston beat the Jags, must give them their due
Texans should enjoy it now, wins likely to be few

Eagles and the Falcons, battle of the birds
Falcons defense is so bad, it’s hard to put in words
Jalen Hurts went out and looked like an All-Pro
Good start for The Eagles, still a long way to go

Chargers and The Football Team, met up in DC
What could be a high powered LA offense only put up 20
It was enough to get the win, Justin Herbert lead the way
Win whatever way you can on any given Sunday

Steelers and the Bills, upset of the week
Pittsburgh should not have have won this game, but played up at their peak
The Bills seem to be loaded, plenty of wins ahead
Getting off to a slow start should be a short term dread

Lions and 49ers, surprisingly high score
Bit of a shocker here, thought this game would be a bore
Still as most of us thought, Niners came out on top
If San Fran keeps this offense up, they will be hard to stop

Bengals and the Vikings, week 1 overtime
Burrow versus Cousins, both were throwing dimes
Cincinnati held on, OT field goal, victory
Brutal for all of us out there with Vikings -3

Panthers and the Jets, Darnold revenge game
Played well against his former team, victory was claimed
Zach Wilson threw two tuddys in his NFL debut
Probably won’t take too long for Jets fans to start to boo

Cardinals and the Titans, down in Tennessee
Arizona offense humming, lead by Kyler Murray
Disappointing start for Derrick Henry, Tractorcito
Shouldn’t be a huge concern, sure he’ll find his flow

Cleveland Kansas City, Browns and the Chiefs
Brownies lead most of the game, their stay on top not brief
Cleveland had more than a shot, fan’s mouths began to foam
But we’ve all seen this before, comeback Patrick Mahomes

Patriots and Dolphins, ‘Bama QB battle
Tua and Mac Jones, young guns back in the saddle
It was Fins Up in New England though, Dolphins with the dub
Mac played well in his debut, joined the NFL Club

Broncos and the Giants, in the Meadowlands
Giants had a chance to win, slipped right through their hands
Teddy Two Gloves did his job, Melvin Gordon too
If Saquon doesn’t get more run, G-Men will be 0-2

Packers and the Saints, Jamies was the best
Quarterback in this game, Rodgers did not impress
New Orleans won the game, difference of five touchdowns
Potential last season for A-Rod, started with a frown

Nightcap in LA, Rams versus the Bears
Rams have themselves a real QB, defenses should be scared
Stafford and McVay could be a coach/QB combo
To get back to the Super Bowl, in short time we’ll know

Native Californian Commits To One Year Contract In Wisconsin

July 27, 2021 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers, Kevin Malone, NFLLeave a comment

Tuesday was a big day in the state of Wisconsin. The Door County House and Garden Walk opened for business, gospel group Tribute Quartet held a show at the Fireside Dinner Theatre, and Aaron Rodgers’ private jet landed at Green Bay Austin Straubel International Airport.

Reports had been exploding the past 24-48 hours regarding the wide range of possible outcomes in the well-reported beef between the reigning MVP and Packers brass. Would he be traded? Would he hold out? Would he retire? Would the two sides find some type of common ground?

Tuesday, all of our annoying ass questions were answered. Rodgers showed up rocking a pair of sunglasses that can only be assumed were designed by the boys from Daft Punk (RIP). The shirt on the other hand, an all-timer. If you’ve been with us for a while now, you know our feelings on Kevin Malone. Where do you even get a shirt like this? An NBA jam knock off giving a nod to one of the greatest scenes in television history? Have mercy.

According to any reputable NFL source, the consensus seems to be that Rodgers and the Packers have found some level of agreement. The details seem to be a bit hazy at this point, but it sounds like Mr. Discount Double Check will play this season out in Green Bay, and become an unrestricted free agent after this year.

In what seems like the closest thing to a kumbaya moment for the time being between the two sides; there are some funny things to outline here. Is this not going to super awkward all year? Are Packer fans (or would any fans) honestly be cool with watching their boy ball out all year, knowing in the back of their heads he really doesn’t want to be there? Also, apparently one of Rodgers demands was that the Packers go out and get a wide receiver. Totally acceptable demand, right? For a team that hasn’t given one of, if not the best quarterback in the last 20 years a first round offensive weapon ever, why wouldn’t 12 want a big time target to compliment Davante Adams?

Well…he wants Randall Cobb.

That’s right, the former Packer who has cracked 1,000 yards receiving once, and not since 2014. Cobb did haul in 55 catches for 828 yards in 2018, but hasn’t recorded that much production since 2015. So definitely a bold choice in personnel demand by A-Rod here.

Aaron Rodgers is a well thought out, very in touch with himself individual. You cannot deny that he has himself and his life in a great place right now, and he’s taking things into his own hands. In the age of player empowerment, we can expect to see this more and more in professional sports. Let’s just hope at some point the demanders start to up that ante a bit more than Randall Cobb.

A-Rod or KB: Who Would You Rather Lose?

July 16, 2021 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Chicago Cubs, Green Bay Packers, MLB, NFLLeave a comment

We may be days, hours, even minutes away from two of sports’ major franchises making drastic roster moves.

We’ve all seen media outlets far and wide run the Aaron Rodgers drama into the ground. No one really knows what’s happening; except the fact that that there seems to be some level of unhappiness betwixt Rodgers and Packers brass. To A-Rod’s credit, he hasn’t done much in the way of making a public mess of things. It’s really just been all of us drumming up our own thoughts on what might actually be happening behind the scenes.

As for Bryant/Cubs situation; the poor, poor Ricketts family just can’t seem to pony up the cash for a contract extension. Who wouldn’t want to lock in an ultra utility player who’s been a franchise cornerstone since 2015?

One, both, (or maybe neither!) of these two superstars seem to be nearing an end with their teams. The question is; who would you rather lose?

Rodgers has been everything for the Packers since taking over in 2008. He’s won three MVPs, lead the league in passing twice, and won Super Bowl XLV.

However, that Super Bowl was a decade ago at this point. Do the Packers think he’s past his prime? Let’s take a quick peak at his last two seasons:

If so, they’re idiots.

Now, as for Bryant. He made his major league debut on April 17, 2015 (after some not so subtle service time manipulation by the Cubs); and hasn’t looked back. Since then, he’s racked up 158 home runs, 460 RBI, a .378 OBP, and a 5.6 WAR. He was the 2015 NL Rookie of the Year, a four time All-Star, the 2016 MVP, and of course was a huge part of breaking the most famous curse in sports the same year.

So, why the hell would the Packers or Cubs want to get rid of either of these supreme talents? Great question.

The Packers drafted Jordan Love in 2020 which is, um…cool? As for the Cubs, they’re in complete fire sale mode, and all fans can hope at this point is that they get somewhat of a decent haul when KB is eventually shipped out of the North Side.

Sunday State of Mind: May 10th-May 16th

May 16, 2021 Chris CookAaron Rodgers, Albert Pujols, Green Bay Packers, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Angels, Los Angeles Dodgers, Los Angeles Lakers, Minnesota Timberwolves, MLB, NBA, NFL, San Antonio Spurs, SSM, Tim DuncanLeave a comment

A great week of sports is coming to an end. We reminisce in this week’s SSM.

The Aaron Rodgers saga continues to drag
Waiting for someone to waive the white flag
The Packers keep adding new quarterbacks
This is one high stakes game of QB blackjack

A short unemployment for Albert Pujols
He signed with the Dodgers, shut down the trolls
Will he be a great role player the defending champs want?
A huge pool of talent, the Dodgers can flaunt

The Basketball Hall added branches to their tree
Highlighted by Kobe, Tim Duncan, and KG
The 2021 members have also been named
Another stellar group joining the Naismith Hall of Fame

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