Cooper Rush

The Jets’ Achilles Heel Tore His Achilles – Now What?

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Photo: SB Nation

Jets’ fans Super Bowl dreams were dashed in four plays last night when Aaron Rodgers’ achilles exploded.

The roster is in place for a run right now, but since no one loves Zach Wilson like we do, reports are already surfacing that the Jets are making calls on other quarterbacks:

The roster has been impeccably assembled, and the main reason that Rodgers came to New York in the first place.

So, lets hash out the Jets’ best options.

Marcus Mariota

The current backup in Philadelphia has plenty of not terrible starting experience.

Sitting behind Jalen Hurts is a pretty good gig, but another shot to start after things didn’t end well in Atlanta might be tempting.

Cooper Rush

Rush showed he was more than capable while subbing in for noted weirdo Dak Prescott last year.

If he could do that with a good Dallas roster, who says he can’t recapture the magic with the Jets?

Tom Brady

Obviously, the photoshops are already there…hay’s in the barn as they say.

This would be the funniest result, especially after the suck fest the Patriots and TB12 just had a few days ago.

If Brady’s not coming back with the Jets, he’s coming for Jimmy Garoppolo (again) anyways.

Dan Marino

You’re telling me this mf who was throwing for almost 50 tuddy’s and 5,000 yards in the 80’s couldn’t stand back and sling it in 2023?

Marino to the Jets is at LEAST 10-7, guaranteed.

A Fire Hydrant

This roster is so stupid good this thing to the left could stand back there and lead Gang Green to their first Lombardi Trophy since 1969.

It Gets Better, Laker Fans

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Photo: The Spun

Laker fans…we’re here to help.

As LeBron, AD, and the boys fell to 0-4 on Wednesday night in Denver, we knew you would need us. It’s low right now, we won’t lie. Times are tough. But you know what, you can’t have sunshine without a little rain, right?

Who cares if you’ve lost three of four by 11+ point margins, that you’re second to last and last in three point and shooting percentage, respectively, or that you have one of the most unhappy superstars of all time in a bench role he hates?

You know what, things can only go up from here, right?!

…right?

Hey, your Cowboys are looking decent! Cooper Rush really held down the fort while Dak Prescott was injured. Number four came back and looked OK against the Lions, that’s always great. Don’t even worry about the fact that they’ve only won three playoff games since 1998. You’ve got Micah Parsons!

How could we forget about your Yankees? Season just ended, understood. But Aaron Judge took all of baseball on a hell of a ride to only come up 11 home runs short of Barry Bonds. Something none of us will soon forget. You have to love the “World Series or bust” attitude…even if you’ve only won one in the last 21 years. It’s still a great feat!

Well, hopefully this helps. Lakers fans, you are some of the best and most dedicated in all of sports. I’m sure this season will turn around eventually. LeBron will right the ship, Russell will get shipped, and it’ll be back to The Lake Show in no time.

…right?