Panthers Hire Noted Sex Symbol Ben McAdoo as Their New Offensive Coordinator

Look at him, drink in every inch of that perfectly tailored suit.

The NFL got better on Friday when the Carolina Panthers announced the hiring of Ben McAdoo as their new offensive coordinator. Before Pete Davidson was the sexiest man in New York, Coach McAdoo held that title. The former Giants head coach last prowled the sidelines in 2017 with the G-men, and had been in consulting roles with the Jaguars and Cowboys since he was unjustly fired in New York.

An undervalued offensive mind, Big Bad Ben brings the twisted steel and sex appeal the Panthers were looking for in their search. The titillating teacher of offense graced the Giants with his beautiful brain during an incredible run that started in 2016 and unfortunately ended in 2017.

According to Pro Football Reference and The Football Database, this polymath of passing and play action’s highlights include, but are not limited to:

  • 2016: ranked 26th in scoring offense, ahead of juggernauts like the Bears, Jets, and Browns
  • 2016: ranked 29th in rushing, beating out dependable runners like Theo Riddick of the Lions and Jerick McKinnon of the Vikings
  • 2016: ranked 17th in passing, out-throwing big arms like Ryan Tannehill of the Dolphins and Brock Osweiler of the Texans
  • 2017: ranked 31st in scoring offense, blowing the Browns out of the water (just like 2016)
  • 2017: ranked 26th in rushing, a huge improvement from 2016 and outrushing big hitters like Kerwynn Williams of the Cardinals and Samaje Perine of the Washington Football Team
  • 2017: ranked 19th in passing, this extremely slight drop from 2016 can easily be explained by the improved rushing attack and becoming a more balanced offense. Even with all of that, that stellar offense had more passing yards than Joe Flacco’s Ravens and Jacoby Brissett’s Colts

Absolute fireworks. If you’re a Carolina Panther fan today, I don’t know how you’re containing your excitement. Go buy those season tickets because they’ll be flying off the shelf after this announcement. Go out and get that “Panthers Super Bowl Champs 2023” tattoo. Name your next born “Benjamin.” There are no rules after organization shifting hires like Coach McAdoo.

You’ve got yourself a stud…ride that pony all the way to the Lombardi Trophy.

Sunday State of Mind: December 13th-December 19th

The sports really sported this week, didn’t they? We review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Another Jake Paul fight, a real heavyweight bout
Round 2 with Tyron Woodley, knocked his ass out
Hard to argue with another knockout blow
For the YouTube star, he does put on a show

On the undercard, another wild fight
Deron Williams and Frank Gore, yeah you heard that right
If I had to choose one side, I’d be on Frank Gore’s team
But holy shit he got knocked out, even became a meme

Big upset in the NFL, Lions win again!
Not a matter of if they’ll bite, but really only when
A second win for Dan Campbell, and a tie to boot
Still like Kyler and the Cardinals, that little guy can scoot

The heat’s on in Miami, the Dolphins cannot lose
Six straight wins after today, team is set to cruise
Their record’s evened up, seven up and seven down
Will we see the much familiar late season letdown?

Staying down in Florida, surprise of the season
Urban Meyer has been fired for 1,000 reasons
We all saw this coming, was a total shit show
Funny that the tipping point was kicking Josh Lambo

A fresh new face to lead the Mets in 2022
Thinking way outside the box for the orange and blue
Super shocking hire, a clean slate as they say
Bright eyed 65 year old Buck Showalter to save the day!

The race is hot the in the NBA, who has COVID the most?
Cavs, Nets, and the Hawks currently have the rights to boast
The virus not just affecting the world of basketball
NFL has issues too, rescheduling and all

Sunday State of Mind: November 29th-December 5th

Photo: Wallup

Why isn’t the weekend five days, and the work week two days? Who knows, but we know this week’s SSM is now live.

Conference championship weekend in college football
Some teams show up, and others just fall
Utah, Bama, and Michigan were among the winners
The amount of football left keeps getting thinner and thinner

Our long national nightmare has ended, my friends
The Detroit Lions losing streak ends
A squeak out win over Minnesota
The Lions have now met their season win quota

Minshew mania, back and better than ever
Taking over Philly, Gardner’s new endeavor
A good start for him, but maybe hedge your bets
His first start and win was against the Jets

We’ve got a lockout in the MLB
Owners and players could not agree
On a new CBA, no baseball for now
Between the two sides, who will kowtow?

Best game of the season, in our opinion
OKC versus Memphis, and the Grizz went in
A record setting blowout, 73 point win
When you watch that game tape, where to even begin?

Who Wore it Best? 9-0

Photo: Dr. Odd

What a long, strange journey it’s been. We started all the way at 99, and have now arrived at our final edition of “Who Wore It Best?” Single digits can be tough, but we’re up for the challenge.

9 – Gordie Howe

Photo: Pinterest

I mean, “Mr. Hockey” has to make the list, right? Howe’s career spanned nearly 40 years, in which he won four Stanley Cups, six Hart Trophies, and appeared in the All-Star game 23 times.

Honorable Mentions: Ted Williams, Drew Brees, Bobby Hull, Mike Modano

8 – Kobe Bryant

Photo: Newsday

Maybe the closest we’ll ever get to MJ. We all know Kobe ended his career rocking 24, but he was great enough to take the eight cake. He spent his entire 20 year career with the Lakers, in which he won five NBA Championships, the 2008 MVP, and made 11 All-NBA First Teams.

Honorable Mentions: Joe Morgan, Carl Yastrzemski, Cal Ripken Jr., Yogi Berra, Steve Young, Troy Aikman, Alexander Ovechkin

7 – John Elway

The greatest player who was a doppelgĂ€nger of their team mascot. But that’s not the only reason Elway makes our list. He held the “couldn’t win the big one” tag his entire career, until he shut everyone up and won back-to-back Super Bowls his last two seasons in the NFL. Even if he wouldn’t have won the two Lombardis, Elway racked up an MVP, nine Pro Bowl selections, and passing title in 1993.

Honorable Mentions: Mickey Mantle, Phil Esposito

6 – Bill Russell

Photo: Photos.com

The man who ran out of fingers for all of his championship rings. Russell won five MVPs, was a four time rebounding champion, and a member of the NBA’s 25th, 35th, and 50th Anniversary Teams.

Honorable Mention: Stan Musial

5 – Albert Pujols

Photo: LA Times

We’ve shown our appreciation for The Machine on this blog before. Pujols’ first 11 years in St. Louis were enough to get the guy in the Hall of Fame. His time with the Angels and Dodgers, while not as great, hasn’t done anything to diminish that. His approximate career numbers have him as a .300 hitter, closing in on 700 home runs, and well over 3,000 hits.

Honorable Mentions: Joe DiMaggio, George Brett, Johnny Bench, Kevin Garnett, Donovan McNabb

4 – Lou Gherig

Next to Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig was the best player on the Yankees during their incredible run in the 20’s and 30’s. Gherig was a part of six World Series championships, was a two time MVP, and won the Triple Crown in 1934.

Honorable Mentions: Brett Favre, Adam Vinatieri, Bobby Orr

3 – Babe Ruth

Keeping it young and fresh with back to back 1920’s Yankees. This one’s a no doubter though; Shohei Ohtaini before Shohei Ohtani. At the plate, The Great Bambino hit 714 home runs, slugged .690, and ended his career with an 1.164 OPS. On the mound, The Colossus of Clout went 94-46, with a 2.28 ERA, and threw 107 complete games.

Honorable Mention: Allen Iverson

2 – Derek Jeter

Christ, enough with the Yankees already. Jeets is an easy choice in a not extremely tough field. The recent Hall of Fame inductee wrapped up an illustrious career with a very succinct five World Series rings, Gold Gloves, and Silver Slugger Awards, as well as 14 All-Star appearances.

Honorable Mention: David Akers, Brian Leetch

1 – Ozzie Smith

Photo: MLB

The best defensive shortstop of all time, and possibly best overall defender ever. Smith won 13 Gold Gloves in 19 seasons. Along the way, he was a part of the 1982 World Series Championship Cardinal team, made 15 All-Star games, and was inducted to the Hall of Fame in 2002.

Honorable Mention: Warren Moon

0 – Russell Westbrook

A nice, easy choice to get us to the finish line; not a whole lot of competition at the zero spot. The 2017 MVP is a nine time All-Star, two time All-NBA First Teamer, and is essentially a walking triple double.

Honorable Mention: N/A

We made it, friends. All the way from 99 down to 0. We laughed, we cried, and made some friends along the way. This was a fun project to complete and remember some names that haven’t been brought up in a while. Hopefully this was as interesting to read as it was to write. Who knows what our next series will be…stay tuned.

Sunday State of Mind: November 8th-November 14th

Photo: Calm.com

The sports weeks come, the sports weeks go. When the latter occurs, Sunday State of Mind shows up to remind you of the former.

Cam Newton is back in the blue black and gray
Signed earlier this week, scored twice on Sunday
A quick turnaround for the big quarterback
Announced to the league “I’m back, I’m back”

More NFL moves, Rams did it again
Signed Odell Beckham, they’re still all in
OBJ in LA, it just sounds right
Rams O has no reds, only green lights

The Detroit Lions did not lose!
They didn’t win either, don’t get confused
A tie with the Steelers, score was 16-16
No victory or loss, something in between

This week we tipped off college basketball
Really getting into the sports schedule of fall
Field seems wide open, blue bloods and mid majors
Plenty of action out there for some wagers

What’s Next In The WFT Probe?

Photo: Boardroom

The Washington Football team is in the midst of a deep probe by the NFL. If you’ve been paying any attention, the details are pretty gross, and we won’t rehash them here.

It seems like we’re still in the beginning stages of it, and it’s already cost one of the NFL’s most well known coaches his job. John Gruden stepped down as head coach of the Las Vegas Raiders on Monday after eight years of emails with vile language were leaked.

What else could we potentially see from this wrecking ball investigation? We received a few snippets of the next round of leaks here at UDS…and it ain’t pretty.

If you’re under 18, please exit out of this blog now and do not read any further.

mike.tomlin@steelers.com Subject: How Many Military Slogans Can I Relate To Football?
jerry.jones@cowboys.com Subject: Nah Son, The Rich Texan Ain’t Nuttin’ Like Me!
urban.meyer@jaguars.com Subject: Full List of Marriage Counselors in Jacksonville
daniel.campbell@lions.com Subject: Your Mountain Dew Metallica T-Shirt Has Shipped!
kliff.kingsbury@cardinals.com Subject: Those pics you asked for 😉 (emails to your mom)
arthur.blank@falcons.com Subject: Four Ways to Look Less Like a Human Vampire
sean.mcvay@rams.com Subject: Honestly, I’m Just As Hot As Kliff (emails to your mom)
dan.snyder@footballteam.com Subject: I Am As Big A Prick As It Seems, Why Do You Ask?

Woah, truly shocking stuff. It will be interesting to see the fallout from anything else that might leak from this investigation. Hard to believe anything worse than what we saw above could exist out there, but only time will tell.

Sunday State of Mind: September 27th-October 3rd

Photo: ArtStation

It’s been a great week in sports. We look back at the greatness in this week’s SSM.

Big name rookie QBs, getting their first wins
Zach Wilson and Justin Fields, weekend winning twins
Few and far between good days, for Jets and Bears fans
Both fan bases should be glad, they both may have their man

Other end of the spectrum, Big Ben’s very old
The end seems very close, his story has been told
Hard to see a scenario in which he won’t get benched
Steelers have a hard decision, need their QB thirst quenched

Baseball season’s winding down, and it’s playoff time
Time for the big boys in the show to start their World Series climb
Dodgers, Giants, and White Sox, among the other teams
Will do whatever they can to win, by any and all means

Sunday State of Mind: September 20th-September 26th

Photo: Webneel

Weeks come and weeks go. The only constant is change; and Sunday State of Mind.

La’el Collins, what the bloody hell?
Bid any chance truthfulness a nice and quick farewell
He tried to bribe his drug test taker, because he broke the rules
Confirming he’s a liar, thought he could take us all for fools

The St. Louis Cardinals are hot as can be
They cannot be stopped, and are 1,000 degrees
Playing their best baseball at the perfect time
To a Cubs fans like me, this equates to a crime

The Ryder Cup, finally has returned to the States
Steve Stricker’s squad selections played better than great
Europe had won four of five, the cup resided there
The time has finally come for USA to have their share

We saw a new record, in the NFL
Justin Tucker of the Ravens, who kicks the football well
Hit a game-winning field goal, a 66 yard boot
Tough beat for the Lions, still in a victory pursuit

Sunday State of Mind: September 6th-September 12th

Photo: Phys.org

One of the best weekends in all of sports has arrived. The NFL is back and majority of the games have been played. Our annual tradition (one year running) of dedicating Week 1 a full SSM lives on.

We got started on Thursday, Bucs and the ‘Boys
Another year of Tom Brady making defenses his toys
Bucs held off Dak and his squad, escaped by only two
TB12 keeps playing, wins continue to accrue

Seahawks and the Colts, met up at Lucas Oil
Indy’s Week 1 hopes, did Russell Wilson spoil
Seattle starts their campaign with a big road win
Seahawks may be on a Super Bowl run once again

Jaguars and the Texans, oof these teams are bad
Might see plenty of Urban, eating pizza while so sad
Houston beat the Jags, must give them their due
Texans should enjoy it now, wins likely to be few

Eagles and the Falcons, battle of the birds
Falcons defense is so bad, it’s hard to put in words
Jalen Hurts went out and looked like an All-Pro
Good start for The Eagles, still a long way to go

Chargers and The Football Team, met up in DC
What could be a high powered LA offense only put up 20
It was enough to get the win, Justin Herbert lead the way
Win whatever way you can on any given Sunday

Steelers and the Bills, upset of the week
Pittsburgh should not have have won this game, but played up at their peak
The Bills seem to be loaded, plenty of wins ahead
Getting off to a slow start should be a short term dread

Lions and 49ers, surprisingly high score
Bit of a shocker here, thought this game would be a bore
Still as most of us thought, Niners came out on top
If San Fran keeps this offense up, they will be hard to stop

Bengals and the Vikings, week 1 overtime
Burrow versus Cousins, both were throwing dimes
Cincinnati held on, OT field goal, victory
Brutal for all of us out there with Vikings -3

Panthers and the Jets, Darnold revenge game
Played well against his former team, victory was claimed
Zach Wilson threw two tuddys in his NFL debut
Probably won’t take too long for Jets fans to start to boo

Cardinals and the Titans, down in Tennessee
Arizona offense humming, lead by Kyler Murray
Disappointing start for Derrick Henry, Tractorcito
Shouldn’t be a huge concern, sure he’ll find his flow

Cleveland Kansas City, Browns and the Chiefs
Brownies lead most of the game, their stay on top not brief
Cleveland had more than a shot, fan’s mouths began to foam
But we’ve all seen this before, comeback Patrick Mahomes

Patriots and Dolphins, ‘Bama QB battle
Tua and Mac Jones, young guns back in the saddle
It was Fins Up in New England though, Dolphins with the dub
Mac played well in his debut, joined the NFL Club

Broncos and the Giants, in the Meadowlands
Giants had a chance to win, slipped right through their hands
Teddy Two Gloves did his job, Melvin Gordon too
If Saquon doesn’t get more run, G-Men will be 0-2

Packers and the Saints, Jamies was the best
Quarterback in this game, Rodgers did not impress
New Orleans won the game, difference of five touchdowns
Potential last season for A-Rod, started with a frown

Nightcap in LA, Rams versus the Bears
Rams have themselves a real QB, defenses should be scared
Stafford and McVay could be a coach/QB combo
To get back to the Super Bowl, in short time we’ll know

Who Wore it Best? 29-20

Photo: Dr. Odd

We’ve arrived at an incredibly important edition of “Who Wore It Best.” In our latest, we’re digging into the roaring 20’s. Let’s find out together who made the cut in this extremely paramount, career-defining list.

29 – Eric Dickerson

Photo: SB Nation

His athletic excellence barely surpassed that of the rec specs. Dickerson put together the greatest single season rushing the football in 1984, going for an NFL record 2,105 yards. He wasn’t just a one season wonder, however. Before being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1999, Dickerson was a five time first team All-Pro, four time rushing leader, has his number 29 retired by the LA Rams, and is in the Indianapolis Colts Ring of Honor.

Honorable Mentions: Adrian Beltre, Ken Dryden, Marc-André Fleury

28 – Marshall Faulk

Back to back running backs who played for the Rams and Colts. Much like Dickerson, Faulk both has his number retired by the Rams as well as being a member of the Colts Ring of Honor. Unlike Dickerson, Faulk has a Super Bowl ring. He also tacked on a MVP, three offensive player of the year awards, as well as three first team All-Pro selections.

Honorable Mentions: Bert Blyleven, Curtis Martin, Darrell Green

27 – Vladimir Guerrero Sr.

Photo: SB Nation

Vlad the Impaler was a 2018 Hall of Fame inductee. He earned his spot in Cooperstown after winning the 2004 MVP, hitting 449 career home runs while maintaining a .318 career batting average, and winning an incredible eight Silver Slugger awards.

Honorable Mentions: Eddie George, Scott Rolen

26 – Rod Woodson

Photo: SB Nation

Rod Woodson was one of the best ball hawks to ever do it; picking off 71 balls in his 17 NFL seasons. He was also a vital member of one of the greatest defenses of all time, the Super Bowl XXXV champion Baltimore Ravens. All of this (and more) cumulated in an induction to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2009.

Honorable Mention: Wade Boggs

25 – Barry Bonds

Photo: CNN

Even before he went to the Giants and things…changed; Barry Bonds was one of the greatest players in baseball. In his seven seasons in Pittsburgh before moving to San Francisco, Bonds was a three time NL MVP, won five Gold Gloves, and five Silver Slugger awards.

Honorable Mention: Fred Biletnikoff

24 – Willie Mays

Photo: Pinterest

Absolute stacked number here, but Mays takes the cake. The stats are gawdy; 660 home runs, 1,903 RBI, and 338 stolen bases. Along the way Mays made 24 All-Star games, won twelve Gold Gloves, two NL MVPs, and a World Series in 1954.

Honorable Mentions: Ken Griffey Jr., Rickey Henderson, Miguel Cabrera, Manny Ramirez, Rick Barry, Champ Bailey, Chris Chelios

23 – Michael Jordan

Photo: Yardbarker

Next question.

Honorable Mentions: LeBron James, Ryne Sandberg, Devin Hester

22 – Emmitt Smith

Photo: USA Today

Emmitt Smith did it all in his 15 NFL seasons. The league’s all time leading rusher (18,355 yards) won three Super Bowls, the 1993 NFL MVP, was a four time first team All-Pro, and lead the NFL in touchdowns three separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Clayton Kershaw, Elgin Baylor, Roger Clemens

21 – Deion Sanders

Photo: SFGate

The swagiest swag that ever swagged. Deion was, and still is, one of the most raw athletes we’ve ever seen. He wasn’t too bad on the field either. Prime’s got two Super Bowl rings, six first team All-Pro selections, and is a member of both the 90’s All-Decade and NFL 100th Anniversary Teams. Oh, and he also played in the MLB for nine seasons. He was a .263 career hitter, with 39 home runs, 168 RBI, and 186 stolen bases. Absolute baller.

Honorable Mentions: Roberto Clemente, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, LaDainian Tomlinson, Stan Mikita, Peter Forsberg

20 – Barry Sanders

Photo: Giant Bomb

The twitchiest running back we’ve ever seen, just absolutely stupid stuff. A combo Heisman winner and NFL MVP, the four time first team All-Pro ran for over 15,000 yards and almost 100 touchdowns. Pretty good for a guy who retired early.

Honorable Mentions: Frank Robinson, Mike Schmidt, Gary Payton, Ed Reed, Brian Dawkins

The numbers get lower, and the lists get better. How about 24 and 21 just absolutely cleaning house? All four major sports represented on each. This was a great edition of “Who Wore It Best,” and we can only assume the names will get hotter the next time around.