As LeBron, AD, and the boys fell to 0-4 on Wednesday night in Denver, we knew you would need us. It’s low right now, we won’t lie. Times are tough. But you know what, you can’t have sunshine without a little rain, right?
Who cares if you’ve lost three of four by 11+ point margins, that you’re second to last and last in three point and shooting percentage, respectively, or that you have one of the most unhappy superstars of all time in a bench role he hates?
You know what, things can only go up from here, right?!
…right?
Hey, your Cowboys are looking decent! Cooper Rush really held down the fort while Dak Prescott was injured. Number four came back and looked OK against the Lions, that’s always great. Don’t even worry about the fact that they’ve only won three playoff games since 1998. You’ve got Micah Parsons!
How could we forget about your Yankees? Season just ended, understood. But Aaron Judge took all of baseball on a hell of a ride to only come up 11 home runs short of Barry Bonds. Something none of us will soon forget. You have to love the “World Series or bust” attitude…even if you’ve only won one in the last 21 years. It’s still a great feat!
Well, hopefully this helps. Lakers fans, you are some of the best and most dedicated in all of sports. I’m sure this season will turn around eventually. LeBron will right the ship, Russell will get shipped, and it’ll be back to The Lake Show in no time.
The summer sports calendar can sometimes feel slow, but there’s always enough to recap the week that was in our latest edition of SSM.
The Old Course at St. Andrews, another major done Thought it was Rory’s weekend; but Cam Smith was the one Big weekend for the Aussie, and he’s a sight to see We’ll see if he can repeat in 2023
Chris Sale just can’t catch a break, hurt in his second start Since coming off the injured list, now again will depart A big investment for the Sox, so far has had no luck As far as we can read, no players or coaches struck
Juan Soto is a different case, no contract yet for him Turned down a big payday, future with the Nats is grim A bold decision to turn down $440 million bucks Whoever pays the man will have to bring one or two Brinks trucks
Hope you had LeBron James and DeMar DeRozan On your Drew League fantasy team, both played like the chosen In Saturday’s game, both filled up the stat book Can you imagine if LeBron chose him over Westbrook?
What a long, strange journey it’s been. We started all the way at 99, and have now arrived at our final edition of “Who Wore It Best?” Single digits can be tough, but we’re up for the challenge.
I mean, “Mr. Hockey” has to make the list, right? Howe’s career spanned nearly 40 years, in which he won four Stanley Cups, six Hart Trophies, and appeared in the All-Star game 23 times.
Honorable Mentions: Ted Williams, Drew Brees, Bobby Hull, Mike Modano
Maybe the closest we’ll ever get to MJ. We all know Kobe ended his career rocking 24, but he was great enough to take the eight cake. He spent his entire 20 year career with the Lakers, in which he won five NBA Championships, the 2008 MVP, and made 11 All-NBA First Teams.
Honorable Mentions: Joe Morgan, Carl Yastrzemski, Cal Ripken Jr., Yogi Berra, Steve Young, Troy Aikman, Alexander Ovechkin
The greatest player who was a doppelgänger of their team mascot. But that’s not the only reason Elway makes our list. He held the “couldn’t win the big one” tag his entire career, until he shut everyone up and won back-to-back Super Bowls his last two seasons in the NFL. Even if he wouldn’t have won the two Lombardis, Elway racked up an MVP, nine Pro Bowl selections, and passing title in 1993.
The man who ran out of fingers for all of his championship rings. Russell won five MVPs, was a four time rebounding champion, and a member of the NBA’s 25th, 35th, and 50th Anniversary Teams.
We’ve shown our appreciation for The Machine on this blog before. Pujols’ first 11 years in St. Louis were enough to get the guy in the Hall of Fame. His time with the Angels and Dodgers, while not as great, hasn’t done anything to diminish that. His approximate career numbers have him as a .300 hitter, closing in on 700 home runs, and well over 3,000 hits.
Honorable Mentions: Joe DiMaggio, George Brett, Johnny Bench, Kevin Garnett, Donovan McNabb
Next to Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig was the best player on the Yankees during their incredible run in the 20’s and 30’s. Gherig was a part of six World Series championships, was a two time MVP, and won the Triple Crown in 1934.
Honorable Mentions: Brett Favre, Adam Vinatieri, Bobby Orr
Keeping it young and fresh with back to back 1920’s Yankees. This one’s a no doubter though; Shohei Ohtaini before Shohei Ohtani. At the plate, The Great Bambino hit 714 home runs, slugged .690, and ended his career with an 1.164 OPS. On the mound, The Colossus of Clout went 94-46, with a 2.28 ERA, and threw 107 complete games.
Christ, enough with the Yankees already. Jeets is an easy choice in a not extremely tough field. The recent Hall of Fame inductee wrapped up an illustrious career with a very succinct five World Series rings, Gold Gloves, and Silver Slugger Awards, as well as 14 All-Star appearances.
The best defensive shortstop of all time, and possibly best overall defender ever. Smith won 13 Gold Gloves in 19 seasons. Along the way, he was a part of the 1982 World Series Championship Cardinal team, made 15 All-Star games, and was inducted to the Hall of Fame in 2002.
A nice, easy choice to get us to the finish line; not a whole lot of competition at the zero spot. The 2017 MVP is a nine time All-Star, two time All-NBA First Teamer, and is essentially a walking triple double.
Honorable Mention: N/A
We made it, friends. All the way from 99 down to 0. We laughed, we cried, and made some friends along the way. This was a fun project to complete and remember some names that haven’t been brought up in a while. Hopefully this was as interesting to read as it was to write. Who knows what our next series will be…stay tuned.
Happy Mother’s Day! If you forgot to get your Mom anything, read her some poetry, which you can find below in this week’s SSM.
Bradley Beal dropped 50 on Indiana Didn’t need OT, game was bananas Wizards a shocking playoff team Getting hot at the right time, gaining steam
In the very same game, another triple double For Russell Westbrook, dude is trouble For anyone trying to shut him down He makes defenders look like clowns
Another big scorer, the man Steph Curry Forty-nine Saturday, racked ’em up in a hurry Put team on his back, and they won again Excited for the NBA playoffs to begin
The week in sports has come and gone. We recap in this week’s SSM.
The best sports news of the week, Spring Training! Baseball is back, and winter is waning A new season has fans excited to their core Unless you’re a fan rooting for Baltimore
Russell Westbrook causing the NBA trouble Four games this week, and three triple doubles He’s lead the Wizards to four straight dubs Not bad for a team who were supposed to be scrubs
Terrible news in baseball, a major blow The official retirement of Tim Tebow Have to give the man credit, gave a tough sport a try But after four years, he’s letting a sleeping dog lie
Baker Mayfield had himself a day Four touchdowns, 334 yards, to the Titans’ dismay The Browns moved to 9-3 on the year Once in a blue moon the Dawg Pound can cheer
A few big name changes, on Chicago’s North Side Kyle Schwarber is gone, and Len Kasper has gone for a ride To The White Sox radio both, Cubs fans were surprised What’s going on with the Cubs? It’s hard to surmise
A big name trade in the NBA John Wall for Russell Westbrook, what the hey?! A few bad contracts, who both wanted to change teams This trade will only change things in Wizards & Rockets fan’s dreams
Alabama football rolled their rival LSU The Crimson Tide won by 38, Tigers didn’t have a clue In this weird COVID season, one thing remains the same Alabama is good, and they’ll probably win every game
A NBA specific SSM this week! We celebrate the start of free agency in the only way we know how…shitty sports poetry.
Your defending champion Los Angeles Lakers Have not been free agency givers, but free agency takers Montrezl Harrell, Denis Schroeder, and Wes Matthews too The Lake Show roster will be stacked with players old and new
The Washington Wizards, a continuous mess Robin Lopez signed, that’s good I guess? There were rumors of a John Wall for Russell Westbrook trade Sad state of affairs if that’s the best move that can be made
Danilo Gallinari and Rajon Rondo both signed with Atlanta Some serious veteran presence, both good moves, duh The Hawks pair their new signings with a solid core Make no mistake, this team is going to score
Very strange signing in the city of Charlotte Gordon Hayward wanted a payday, and the Hornets bit An injury-prone veteran got $120 million over four years If I discovered this signing as a Hornets fan, I’d be in tears
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