Kyler Murray, AKA Baby Yoda, AKA Toad from Mario, AKA Baby Groot, has had a rollercoaster past seven days.
On July 21st, his monster contract agreement was announced; $160 Million guaranteed will have anyone flying high. Once the contract language was released, the entire world freaked out about the now overly-discussed video game clause. So, a big payday followed by a big embarrassment.
Well, Kyler doesn’t want to talk about it. Or, he does…right?
Kyler Murray makes a surprise media appearance to push back on the narrative that he doesn’t study. pic.twitter.com/KGoDQE05YJ
Do we talk about Kyler not wanting to talk about it? Or does Kyler want us to talk about not talking about it?
There’s nothing that says “I don’t want to talk about this” more than holding an impromptu press conference talking about how you don’t want to talk about it. Message clearly received, Kyler.
So, in review. We will not put any effort into talking about what Kyler does, or does not want to talk about.
This week’s Sunday State of Mind is sneaking in at the very end of what was another great week in sports.
Little Kyler Murray, big contract extension A deal finally signed after some more than awkward tension Arizona ponied up the cash to pay their guy We need real football to start or else I’m gonna die
On Friday the Blue Jays put up four touchdowns Won 28-5, made the Red Sox look like clowns Toronto’s bats were hot, Sox bats were in a jam We even got to see an inside the park grand slam!
Conspiracies abound on James Harden’s deal Took way less money now, sounded like a steal Around the NBA, there seems to be some doubt If this deal is legit, or if Harden’s getting a bailout
Since no one wants to read anything as long as the above-mentioned official corporate memorandums; we decided to do the work for you. Essentially, Murray wants more money and Jeter is out ASAP. Kyler’s statement is comically long, and Jeter’s is almost annoyingly short for such a large member/investor of a team leaving immediately.
We hope KM gets his money and Jeets finally catches a break in life in his post-Marlins tenure. But we’re here as the end all be all rankers of these two very important statements. Please find our extensively researched, categorically honest rankings below:
2 – Derek Jeter’s “Peace I’m Outta Here” Letter
Much like Jeter’s playing career, this was (literally) a black and white, plain Jane, professional statement. Just like he handled the media while with the Yankees, it was a large collection of words that didn’t really say anything.
After a few truths stretched (e.g., “we transformed every aspect of the franchise”) and a yawn or two incurred, a tsunami of drowsiness washed over me while reading. The former CEO’s statement came out as flat as the energy at loanDepot Park during Marlins home games.
As great of a defensive shortstop as Jeter was, he’s an even better defender of being or saying anything interesting.
1 – Kyler Murray’s “It’s Not Me, It’s You” Letter
This thing was a superb mess. Scrubbing your social media of anything relating to your team one week, and releasing this manifesto saying you need more from them the next is an all time power move. While we’ve all seen the “it’s not you, it’s me” checkers move played either to us or to someone we know, Kyler and his agent Erik Burkhardt are playing chess by flipping that bad boy right on its head.
Before so graciously looping in his teammates and coaches, Kyler noted how proud he is of the “extreme turnaround of competitiveness and success since his arrival,” after being “tasked with stepping into a tough situation” in Arizona. Translation: you guys blew before I got here, now pay up. Also, the shade thrown in reminding the Cardinals that he thinks he’s the guy to “deliver the valley their first Super Bowl in 33+ years” was a real *chef’s kiss* in this tour de force.
The finale though, the pie de resistance if you will, is the ending. The 24 year old quarterback told the team that drafted him number one overall in 2019 to shit or get off the pot when it comes to giving him a new contract, while referring to himself as a “rapidly improving…already 2x Pro Bowl QB.” Just an all-time self-confident sign off that I wish I had an ounce of in my personal life.
A few big statements from the MLB and NFL today. Appropriately, one was as boring as a four hour baseball game. The other had the fireworks of a regular season NFL game that America cannot get enough of. You know where we stand.
The sports really sported this week, didn’t they? We review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
Another Jake Paul fight, a real heavyweight bout Round 2 with Tyron Woodley, knocked his ass out Hard to argue with another knockout blow For the YouTube star, he does put on a show
On the undercard, another wild fight Deron Williams and Frank Gore, yeah you heard that right If I had to choose one side, I’d be on Frank Gore’s team But holy shit he got knocked out, even became a meme
Big upset in the NFL, Lions win again! Not a matter of if they’ll bite, but really only when A second win for Dan Campbell, and a tie to boot Still like Kyler and the Cardinals, that little guy can scoot
The heat’s on in Miami, the Dolphins cannot lose Six straight wins after today, team is set to cruise Their record’s evened up, seven up and seven down Will we see the much familiar late season letdown?
Staying down in Florida, surprise of the season Urban Meyer has been fired for 1,000 reasons We all saw this coming, was a total shit show Funny that the tipping point was kicking Josh Lambo
A fresh new face to lead the Mets in 2022 Thinking way outside the box for the orange and blue Super shocking hire, a clean slate as they say Bright eyed 65 year old Buck Showalter to save the day!
The race is hot the in the NBA, who has COVID the most? Cavs, Nets, and the Hawks currently have the rights to boast The virus not just affecting the world of basketball NFL has issues too, rescheduling and all
Our long, national nightmare is over folks. On Tuesday, JJ Watt ended his 18 day free agency by announcing that he’s signed with the Arizona Cardinals.
Most reports had Watt’s list of potential next destinations as some kind of combination between the Packers, Bills, Browns, and Steelers. Welp, like this blog, most media is dumb and/or wrong.
JJ told everyone in his home state of Wisconsin, the table-breaking mafia in Buffalo, the Dawg Pound in Cleveland, and his two brothers who play in Pittsburgh to suck it. A total heartbreaker for all involved, besides those in Glendale, of course.
The Cardinals are definitely building, of course with Kyler Murray and former/new Watt teammate DeAndre Hopkins on the offensive side. Watt joins a middle of the pack(ish) defense lead by first team All-Pro Budda Baker and an aging Patrick Peterson. The 2020 Cardinals defense ranked 12th in points allowed, but 22nd in rushing yards, a number that should hopefully improve with Watt joining the defensive line.
So the move is now official. H-Town to the desert, NASA to the Grand Canyon, the rodeo to the Hoover Dam. Much like JJ, I’m looking forward inking a two-year, $31 million dollar contract to round out my career.
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