Aaron Rodgers has completed his voyage in Green Bay and is now beginning his expedition with the Jets.
After a stupefying eighteen seasons in America’s Dairyland, including over 63,000 yards though land and air, 510 visits to the end zone, and reaching the mountain top in the most Super of Bowls in 2011, a bipartisan love affair between the quarterback and those who adore him is passing on into the ether.
What awaits this sublime champion in his new trek east? A whole new universe. Buroughs aplenty; a simple guessing game implies Rodgers fits best in Brooklyn. The broadest of ways, ladies with the upmost levels of liberty, and proximity to The World Trade Center for some closer research.
Will any of this work? Will this new amalgamation of quarterback and team result in the success both are seeking? That’s for the higher power, and Nathaniel Hackett, to decide.
There you have it; one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time’s future being decided in a pitch black cabin.
Along with the aforementioned “Isolation Retreat” sounding like a chart-topping 80’s hair band, in four-ish minutes the always efficient Rodgers pumped out these other names that sound like ensembles our parents smoked weed to when they were kids:
“Art of Contemplation”
“Four Nights of Complete Darkness”
“Highest Interest of Happiness”
“Isolation and Darkness”
“Adult Diapers”
Rodgers fancies himself as a “free thinker,” which is for the most part fine. He’s said some dumb stuff that doesn’t need to to rehashed here.
But isn’t something like an “isolation retreat” determining your future make for a better interview than the classic “well, I need to sit down with my family, pray about it, and come to a decision in due time with my family” that we hear 10,000 times every offseason?
Some Thursday thoughts for the boys and girls as we reflect back on 2022.
We had the completely original idea to recap our top 10 stories of the year.
A sincere thank you to all who check out any of our stuff, please continue to do so. For those that don’t, we have an idea for your New Year’s resolution.
The sports and pop culture worlds were both crushed at the completely surprising split of super couple Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley back in February.
This one we’re still enjoying as the year comes to a close. Jim Irsay went full Jim Irsay and hired a guy who played for him over a decade ago with zero non-high school coaching experience. We wanted to hop on the train and fill out the remainder of Mr. Irsay’s dream coaching staff.
This blog was written in May 2020, and was still our eighth most read in 2022. That’s a compliment to both how many times Russ makes all of us cringe and how great you readers are that you keep coming back to this blog.
Remember in October when the human version of Mr. Burns Daniel Snyder threatened to take down the other 31 NFL owners? That was great, and scared us into some serious confessions.
We all deserve a second chance in life, right? Kyle Jenner certainly believes so, as she renamed her son after a month and a half or so trail period of naming him “Wolf.” Ever the helpers we are, we put together some names we thought might fit. We really liked “Skip TheLine Jenner” but that’s just us.
Amidst a hurricane tornado of controversy (non of his own doing) Steve Nash was finally freed of his duties of having to coach the Brooklyn Nets last month. We used an AI generator to create his cover letter for his next job.
4. Heard vs. Depp, the Shit Show Trail of the Century
News exploded in January that the Carolina Panthers were bringing in former Giants head coach and fashion icon Ben McAdoo as their offensive coordinator. It didn’t really work, but was fun while it lasted.
You guys love reading these, and we love writing them. This yearly blog is always up there on page views; making dumb jokes about each jersey is something we all enjoy.
1. The Over Hits on Calvin Ridley Suspensions (0.5)
Our top-read blog in 2022 was an easy bet: Calvin Ridley was suspended in March for gambling on NFL games. We did some serious journalism and analyzed his Twitter account to find if we missed any signs before his gambling habit was discovered.
Wow, what a look back at the year that was. We truly went to some interesting and dumb places together, didn’t we? If you enjoy what we do, tell a friend to tell a friend.
In all seriousness, we truly appreciate your eyes and readership. On to 2023, where maybe Russell Wilson won’t be such a goober.
This week in sports has been absolutely banana sandwich. SSM is here to relive it all.
Alabama/Tennessee, singing Rocky Top Volunteer offense was rolling, and refused to stop Hendon Hooker and the boys put up 52 Bama defense, usually good, but last night they blew
Playoff baseball heating up, and upsets galore Dodgers out, Braves out, who surprised you more? NLCS matchup of the Padres and the Phillies Yes you read that matchup right, no not joking, really
Over in the AL, Astros wrecked the M’s A 3-0 series sweep, Houston played a gem Guardians and Yankees play to see who gets the ‘stros Yankees ahead at time of writing, can the bombers close?
We have to ask the question: are the Jets for real? Went on the road and got a dub down at Lambeau Field Impressive for a young team, tough place to play for sure And against Aaron Rodgers, a win they procure
There’s a fall chill in the air, which means playoff baseball and midseason football. All of that and more in this week’s SSM.
A big win out in London, New York beat Green Bay The New York Football Giants, feeling some type of way Starting the season 4-1, football’s biggest surprise Lamar Jackson comes in next week, they may just get baptized
Speaking of baptisms, Jets dunked on the ‘Fins Miami started 3-1, left with the same amount of wins Jets have won two straight, sit a game behind the Bills New York’s cold dead football hearts may be getting filled
Even without their quarterback, ‘bama is the best Beat Texas A&M, could probably beat the rest Of the country’s teams, Saban is just that good The best to ever do it, that is understood
A team worthy of mention, your Kansas Jayhawks Dream start to the season, some undefeated talks Hung tough with TCU, but just fell short by seven Even with a loss, Kansas football fans in heaven
As mentioned in our opening, playoff baseball is here MLB Wild Card weekend, get your hot dogs and beer Three game sets were over quick, Cleveland Seattle Philly Having so much sports at once is absolutely silly
Save for a few more games, the sports have completed their sportsing this weekend. Let’s look back together at all the happenings in this week’s SSM.
The Albert Pujols show, big episode this week Joined the 700 club, not bad for an antique He did it in style, two bombs out in LA The Yankees home run record keeping Aaron Judge at bay
Tough week in Miami, The U indeed not back MTSU came to town, Hurricanes blue and black First year, new coach for the ‘canes, so this isn’t the end Another upset like this though, things may just start to bend
TB12 and A-Rod, who’s your favorite old QB On field goat debate, what a thing to see Could not care less who won the game, what matters to us most Was how the hell did a bee swarm end up on the goal post?
Colts and the Chiefs, thought this would be easy By the end of the game Kansas City fans were queasy Big upset for Indy, Matt Ryan won a big one Tough loss for the Chiefs, Andy Reid had no fun
No matter the profession, it’s hard for anyone to transition from professional life to retirement.
Your mind can wander, finding things to fill more time than you’ve ever had, and keeping active can become a whole job in itself!
Brett Favre, a 52-year old grandfather of three spent 20 years working an extremely physical job. His career took him from Atlanta, Green Bay, New York, Minnesota, and everywhere in between. An expert in his field, Favre put his body on the line for years with a competitiveness and excitement rarely seen in his industry.
When he decided to retire in 2010, Favre decided to keep his mind and body active. While he may not have been able to perform at the physical level he did pre-retirement, the want-to to remain mobile is quite the admiral feat.
Technology
We’ve all heard the jokes about the elder generation and the ever-evolving world of technology. Laptops, iPhones, Twitter; who can keep track?
Mr. Favre can! Getting a start right after retiring in 2010, Brett sat down and learned all about his iPhone. He even mastered how to send pictures via text, which he really enjoyed. After the picture texts were conquered, he gained a following on Cameo and did great there as well.
Politics
One of the most admirable thing one can do is give back to where they came from. Mississippi, much like many places in America, can use all of the help they can get.
Favre, seeing a weakness, dedicated himself to get involved in local politics. His actions showed a sincere vision for how to manage the Mississippi Department of Human Services Welfare Fund. On top of his passion for those in his state sincerely needing assistance, he’s a family man.
With those two passions in mind, he fully threw himself into a project that lead to diverting millions of dollars from poor families to build a new volleyball facility at a local university. By sheer luck, the university just so happened to be the same institution his daughter attends. Even crazier; she actually plays volleyball!
It’s great when people help people. Local southern gentleman Brett Favre is both the ultimate competitor and unifier. We should all be so lucky to live amongst such altruistic, selfless being. A proud Mississippian that exudes self-sacrifice, decency, and nobility.
We continue a longstanding tradition here at UDS by dedicating an entire SSM to Week One NFL action.
Big start on Thursday night, Rams and the Bills Pregame program was legit, full of fluff and frills The game was in LA, but plenty Bills fans there Josh Allen and the boys came out and won the game with flair
Sunday start in the dirty, Falcons and the Saints Start of football season, we have no complaints Something so familiar, Falcons had an early lead They coughed it up and lost, almost guaranteed
Browns and the Panthers, Baker revenge bowl He wanted to win this game with his entire soul Browns came out and played, got a surprising win Panthers almost came back, there’s a positive spin
The San Francisco 49ers are used to good weather The conditions in Chicago, they were different all together It rained and rained and rained some more, really came down strong A nice win for the Bears in a season that might be long
Steelers and the Bengals, an AFC North tilt Bengals came in walking tall, like a man on stilts Five turnovers for Joe Burrow, not like him at all Even so, we had OT, but the Bengals did fall
Eagles and the Lions, closer than we expected! Coming into the day, thought this game would be neglected Lions got down early, then almost came back Lot of money on the Eagles, banks almost attacked
Texans and the Colts, folks we have a tie Same score in regulation, OT, and then the game died Feels like a win for Houston, Indy can not be psyched Have to think a blowout win is what they would’ve liked
Patriots and Dolphins, Miami’s brand new look Mike McDaniel’s offense had Bill Belichick’s D shook Tua looked OK, Tyreek and Waddle balled Dolphin fans ecstatic, Pats fans are appalled
Ravens and the Jets, Flacco revenge game Cool Joe did play pretty well, can’t give him much blame Lamar Jackson’s on a mission, wants to get that big money Three touchdowns and Ravens win, L-Jack sweet as honey
Jags and the Commanders, this game just seemed weird First game for Carson Wentz in DC, brought his big red beard Jaguars were close to grabbing a week one win At least until week two for victories to begin
Giants and the Titans, King Henry and Saquon The Titan bruised along, Giant looked like a swan Another crazy comeback, as New York did their job Titans played tough in the first half, but ended like slobs
Cardinals and the Chiefs, and a new look KC Went to Arizona, first opportunity To see if they still had it after losing some big stars Five tuddy’s for Pat Mahomes, he did not go too far
Chargers and the Raiders, matchup in LA Justin Herbert is a stud, and he was on display Three touchdowns and no picks, his team is 1-0 Raiders have a nice roster, only upwards to go
Vikings and the Packers, A-Rod needs to some talent He can’t go out and win himself, they guy’s only so gallant Story is not about him though, Vikings looked pretty good Kirk Cousins was really sharp, was he misunderstood?
Buccaneers and Cowboys, Sunday night in Dallas Jerry Jones must love it when we’re focused on his palace Tough break for Big Jer, as Tom Brady is still here TB12 wins again, will for 100 years
The weather has turned as we are past the unofficial opening of summer. The beautiful forecast calls for some beautiful sports poetry.
The NBA Finals, Boston and The Bay Warriors and Celtics are here to play Al Horford and the boys took game one on the road If they win again tonight Draymond might explode
Capital One’s The Match, the QB edition Four of our top quarterbacks in the competition Brady, Rodgers, Patty, Josh, young guns verse the old ARod and TB12 took it to them for the gold
Baseball staying relevant, thanks to the NFL Tommy Pham’s a wildcard, we’re saying “what the hell?” Who hasn’t wanted to slap a fellow league member Fantasy football means a lot, Tommy’s got a temper
Avalanche and Rangers, not a lot of spoilers Both looking for a sweep against the Lightning and the Oilers Only a few shots left for Tampa and Edmonton If they don’t get it in gear both squads will soon be done
Total annihilation of the heart. Woodley indicated that Rodgers was too football-focused to be committed to their relationship. Now whether that’s a Big Little Lie or not, we may never know. All we can ascertain at this point is that she has become Divergent of the relationship with the Packers quarterback. We aren’t here to put The Fault on either of these Stars.
Rodgers, one of the best to ever do it, has seen this play out before. It, of course, being losing family. The reigning NFL MVP will now get a Discount Double Check on meals as he’ll no longer be paying for two. After today’s excruciating news, Rodgers will not be adding a wedding ring to his one Super Bowl ring; and has been immunized from being in a relationship.
With the status of his engagement no longer in Jeopardy, will the NFL’s Most Valuable Player commit to another year of football? Only time will tell.
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