Sunday State of Mind: March 21st-March 27th

Photo: Adobe

We did it, basketball fans. We’ve found ourselves with a Final Four in this year’s March Madness tournament. In this week’s SSM, we outline the blue bloods, Cinderellas, and others left in the tourney.

Villanova is first, a familiar sight
Wildcats never wrong when their coach is Jay Wright
Had a hard path bracket, beat Houston’s tough D
Coach Wright looking for championship number three

Guess who’s back, back again
Duke is back, tell a friend
You heard that right, Coach K still alive
Even better than Wright, K wants to add to his five

Blue blood number three, the Kansas Jayhawks
Continue to win in this college playoff
Bill Self and his fake hair are are ready to roll
He’s two wins away from the ultimate goal

They killed Cinderella, those stupid Tar Heels
Ended St. Peter’s run, stopped their wheels
UNC, Final Four, what an absolute shock
We all wanted to see those feisty Peacocks

Keeping Up With Kylie Jenner’s Baby Name

Photo: Refinery29

Sometimes things just don’t stick.

Kylie Jenner posted on her Instagram story Monday that her and partner Travis Scott are changing their son’s name. The currently unnamed newborn was born on February 2, 2022, and was named “Wolf” for the first seven weeks of life.

Photo: @kyliejenner on Instagram

Much like lips, sometimes things come and go; it happens. I’m sure the artist formerly known as Wolf won’t know any difference.

But, the big question that has the nation on edge: what will the new name be?

We’re here to help. Although these badass Kardashian/Jenner women know how to get their fucking asses up and work, we thought we’d provide some assistance if they’re so inclined.

  • Wade Elux Jenner
  • Red Bottoms Jenner
  • Chase Bank Jenner
  • Tanner Oil Jenner
  • Ralph Lauren Jenner
  • Max Credit Jenner
  • Milo Naire Jenner
  • Skip TheLine Jenner
  • Bo Tox Jenner

Whatever these two crazy kids decide on, I’m sure it will be great…and hopefully final.

Sunday State of Mind: March 14th-March 20th

We made it, folks. Not just to another Sunday State of Mind, but to March Madness. We dedicate the latest edition of SSM to college basketball’s annual tournament.

Only place to start, the St. Peter’s Peacocks
Fifteen seed came to play, major rising stock
Beat second seed Kentucky, and then Murray State
A classic Cinderella, what makes March Madness great

A big name eleven seed making a little noise
Juwan Howard and Michigan, showing some Madness poise
A bad regular season, turning it on at the right time
Seems like only yesterday, the open hand slap crime

It happens every year, dreaded 12-5 upset
This time around Iowa and UConn won’t forget
New Mexico ended UConn, Richmond nipped the Hawks
That’s why when doing your bracket you just can’t go chalk

Hate it or love it, The Dukies still alive
Coach K beat Coach Izzo, the Blue Devils survive
This retirement tour does just not seem to end
With every win Coach K’s career extends

Calvin Ridley Even Tweets Like a Bettor

The house always wins.

Some wild news dropped late Monday from the NFL; the league released a memo in which they announced a minimum yearlong suspension for Atlanta Falcons wide receiver Calvin Ridley for betting on games last season.

Ridley had been on leave from the team while the alleged betting took place, so there’s not a whole lot in terms of him receiving inside information or having any distinct advantage. Even still, this is a huge no no for an active player to bet on a game in any league. We all know how Pete Rose has been blackballed from the baseball Hall of Fame for his wagering history. Ridley, of course, is not exactly at the level Rose was, but still a major infraction.

If anyone payed an ounce of attention to Ridley’s Twitter account, we could have seen this coming. The guy tweets like all of us regular schmucks who love gambling but have no idea what we’re doing.

Everyday gamblers can feel the highs and lows of Ridley’s betslip with each tweet:


We’ve all felt this. When you’re in such a bad slump, all you can do is laugh. Show me a bettor who’s gone 0 for his last 6 and I’ll show you the human embodiment of the laughing crying emoji, usually paired with an “I mean, all you can do is laugh at this point” as a cherry on top.

If you’ve gambled for any amount of time or been around those that have, you know that everyone has their own rules. I, for example, “never” bet on my favorite teams. Additionally, if you’ve gambled for any amount of time or been around those that have, you know these rules are always broken. We all say we learn from our Ls, Calvin; but how am I supposed stay away when Iowa’s getting 5.5 at home against Michigan State?!

Gambling responsibly is key. If you choose to dabble, please do so within your means. When you’re not seeing the board as well as you’d like, walk away. You’ll feel better and your account will remain fuller. But you’ve got to have the confidence to know you’re going to be a better gambler when you decide to jump back into the pool.

According to his Twitter account, Ridley claims he only bet $1,500. Plenty of money for a lot of us, but when your career earnings are a shade over $11 million, maybe not the biggest concern. Adam Schefter reported that Ridley “placed multi-legged parlay bets involving 3, 5 and 8 games that included the Falcons to win.”

If that’s indeed the case and he walked away after doing so, vaya con dios…and never bet on the Falcons again.

Sunday State of Mind: February 28th-March 6th

It’s Sunday, there were sports this week, and we’re in a certain State of Mind.

A special week in Indy, the NFL Combine
A chance for NFL prospects to jump, run, and shine
Some major workout numbers, athletic freaks galore
NFL coaches and GMs jaws dropping to the floor

Surprise news out of Dallas about one of their best
Amari Cooper likely gone, Cowboys fans must be stressed
The wideout’s too expensive for Jerry Jones’ liking
So now their number one receiver will be gone, sent hiking

Still in a holding pattern in the MLB
The lockout continues as both sides will not agree
On a new CBA, games continue to be lost
The longer this goes on, more baseball games get tossed

We talked last week about big scores in the NBA
Repeating this week, Jayson Tatum and LBJ
JT scored 54 tonight, Bron 56 on Saturday
Defenses sat on the sideline and watched the big dogs play

We’ve got our first few tickets punched in the NCAA
March Madness is so close, let’s get this underway
Murray State, Longwood, and Loyola Chicago
You know what that means; Sister Jean’s ready to roll!

The Definitive Ranking of Today’s Official Announcements

Photos: Fansided & WLRN

There’s nothing that says “Monday” more than long, useless memos.

On this Monday, Kyler Murray and Derek Jeter decided to push more paper onto the Arizona Cardinals and Miami Marlins staffs:

Since no one wants to read anything as long as the above-mentioned official corporate memorandums; we decided to do the work for you. Essentially, Murray wants more money and Jeter is out ASAP. Kyler’s statement is comically long, and Jeter’s is almost annoyingly short for such a large member/investor of a team leaving immediately.

We hope KM gets his money and Jeets finally catches a break in life in his post-Marlins tenure. But we’re here as the end all be all rankers of these two very important statements. Please find our extensively researched, categorically honest rankings below:

2 – Derek Jeter’s “Peace I’m Outta Here” Letter

Much like Jeter’s playing career, this was (literally) a black and white, plain Jane, professional statement. Just like he handled the media while with the Yankees, it was a large collection of words that didn’t really say anything.

After a few truths stretched (e.g., “we transformed every aspect of the franchise”) and a yawn or two incurred, a tsunami of drowsiness washed over me while reading. The former CEO’s statement came out as flat as the energy at loanDepot Park during Marlins home games.

As great of a defensive shortstop as Jeter was, he’s an even better defender of being or saying anything interesting.

1 – Kyler Murray’s “It’s Not Me, It’s You” Letter

This thing was a superb mess. Scrubbing your social media of anything relating to your team one week, and releasing this manifesto saying you need more from them the next is an all time power move. While we’ve all seen the “it’s not you, it’s me” checkers move played either to us or to someone we know, Kyler and his agent Erik Burkhardt are playing chess by flipping that bad boy right on its head.

Before so graciously looping in his teammates and coaches, Kyler noted how proud he is of the “extreme turnaround of competitiveness and success since his arrival,” after being “tasked with stepping into a tough situation” in Arizona. Translation: you guys blew before I got here, now pay up. Also, the shade thrown in reminding the Cardinals that he thinks he’s the guy to “deliver the valley their first Super Bowl in 33+ years” was a real *chef’s kiss* in this tour de force.

The finale though, the pie de resistance if you will, is the ending. The 24 year old quarterback told the team that drafted him number one overall in 2019 to shit or get off the pot when it comes to giving him a new contract, while referring to himself as a “rapidly improving…already 2x Pro Bowl QB.” Just an all-time self-confident sign off that I wish I had an ounce of in my personal life.

A few big statements from the MLB and NFL today. Appropriately, one was as boring as a four hour baseball game. The other had the fireworks of a regular season NFL game that America cannot get enough of. You know where we stand.

Sunday State of Mind: February 21st-February 27th

We’re in a thinner time in the sports schedule then we’d all like, but that won’t stop us from enjoying what we can and waxing poetic in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Bad faith negotiations in the MLB
The lockout continues, something you hate to see
The owners and the players are way too far apart
More and more looking like Opening Day late start

Moving to basketball, James Harden holy shit
First two games in Philly, seems like a real nice fit
Double double Friday, triple dub today
Joel Embiid’s new teammate certainly came to play

Some major scoring weekends in the association
Ja, Bam, Joel, Kyrie, numbers full of inflation
46, 36, 37, 38 are point totals we saw
Offensive performances leaving fans in awe

Georgetown Hoyas basketball, program’s a dumpster fire
For head coach Patrick Ewing this was a job that he desired
Eighteen straight losses, haven’t won since 2021
Two more games for the Hoyas and the season’s finally done

Sunday State of Mind: February 14th-February 20th

With our Super Bowl hangovers cured, it’s time to move along in the sports calendar. This week’s SSM reviews the week that was in sports.

Baseball’s continued locked out, two sides can not agree
Between the player’s union and owners from the MLB
Spring Training scheduled for last week, of course that’s a no go
Hopefully resolve comes soon so we can see The Show

NBA All-Star Weekend, they always do it right
Skills, three point, and dunk contest happened Saturday night
Cavs, KAT, and Obi, winners respectively
Team LeBron beat Team Durant tonight on TNT

College basketball fight! But not between the players
Michigan’s Juwan Howard was the slap conveyor
Wisconsin winning big, but called a late timeout
Pissed off the Wolverines and lead to the postgame coach bout

Another Failed Shot: This Time at Love

Photo: People

Mere hours after Valentines Day, terrible news coming out of the world of love.

According to Buzzfeed/the entire internet, Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley have called of their engagement:


Total annihilation of the heart. Woodley indicated that Rodgers was too football-focused to be committed to their relationship. Now whether that’s a Big Little Lie or not, we may never know. All we can ascertain at this point is that she has become Divergent of the relationship with the Packers quarterback. We aren’t here to put The Fault on either of these Stars.

Rodgers, one of the best to ever do it, has seen this play out before. It, of course, being losing family. The reigning NFL MVP will now get a Discount Double Check on meals as he’ll no longer be paying for two. After today’s excruciating news, Rodgers will not be adding a wedding ring to his one Super Bowl ring; and has been immunized from being in a relationship.

With the status of his engagement no longer in Jeopardy, will the NFL’s Most Valuable Player commit to another year of football? Only time will tell.

Sunday State of Mind: Super Bowl LVI

Photo: Marca

It is with profound sadness we write this week’s SSM, as the football season is officially over. Since we don’t want to see football go, we’re recapping the game that just happened; with the Los Angeles Rams winning the Lombardi Trophy in Super Bowl 56.

First quarter some action, a 7-3 score
An OBJ touchdown, but there would be more
Bengals mustered a field goal, but scoring was not hearty
Final score in mind, may have kept them from the Lombardi

A busy second quarter, plenty to talk about
Cooper Kupp scored once, Bengals ended their end zone drought
Terrible sight to see, Odell Beckham hurt his knee
Rams were down a playmaker after the injury

Maybe better than the game, the Pepsi Halftime Show
A collection of nostalgia singing songs that we all know
Snoop and Dre were great, Em, Kendrick, Mary J
How about Mr. In Da Club, please give us a replay

Cincinnati came out hot after the halftime break
A Burrow bomb to Higgins, would LA start to shake?
The 75 yard touchdown would be the highIight here
Other than trading field goals, the game’s ending was near

Only one score in the final frame, but it was the winner
Stafford to Cooper Kupp a second time, chicken dinner
With that touchdown the Rams secured a Super victory
Cemented themselves as champions, NFL history