Noted human dirty diaper Vince McMahon appears set to return to the WWE for some reason; as was leaked Tuesday morning.
As our knowledge of WWE only goes about as far as the late 90’s/early aughts Attitude Era, we wondered…what would be the best way for this spry 77 year old to make his return to the squared circle?
Booker T finally brings out the “Sucka” is he’s always referring to from backstage; surprise…it’s Vince.
Gangrel spits blood before entering the ring, someone from the crowd gets pissed and rushes the ring…guess who?
Jim Ross is slathering 12 racks of ribs with his famous BBQ sauce backstage. You already know who’s sitting with him ready to feast. JR responds “GOD ALMIGHTY, VINCE IS BACK!”
Kane enters the ring, raises his hands for the classic pyrotechnics. Instead of fire coming from all four corners Linda, Shane, Stephanie, and Vince all pop out.
Mankind tell someone off screen to “have a nice day,” camera pans to Vince back at his CEO desk.
Mark Henry carries a fully-loaded Range Rover to the ring that Vince emerges from.
Stone Cold classically interrupts Vince’s welcome back party by opening a can of whoop ass and stunning every single person in the arena.
The Rock, whilst making a comeback speech saying he wants to wrestle Vince at Wrestlemania, says he won’t come back to the WWE for anything less than the $50 million he gets paid to crank out terrible action movie after terrible action movie.
Triple H releases a statement saying he hates his father in law.
There’s really no other way for Vince to reinsert himself back into the sports entertainment business than what’s listed above. If there is, we sure can’t think of it.
If your job was to be a good sports fan, you’d be great at your work. But we can’t keep up with everything right? Don’t fret, SSM is here.
Big matchup in NoCal, Niners and the Bucs Late round QB matchup that was not deluxe Brock Purdy and Tom Brady, six and seventh rounders Niners blew them out, Bucs continue to flounder
You can say this sentence now: the Lions are good Won five of their last six, winning games they should Also ones they shouldn’t, beat the big bad Vikings Sent Kirk Cousins and his not great roster hiking
MLB free agency, most big names are signed Billions worth of contracts, pockets have been lined Carlos Correa is the last big name to sign a deal Going to be a huge contract, teams will have to kneel
A Philly 50 burger, for Joel Embiid Singlehandedly made the Charlotte Hornets bleed Twenty nine for Scary Terry, Kelly Oubre too Not nearly enough for what the Hornets tried to do
On the heels of Aaron Judge signing his mega deal with the Yankees, Willson Contreras signed with the St. Louis Cardinals on a four year, $87 million dollar deal. One of the last remaining members from the 2016 World Series team now will take over for Yadi Molina in St. Louis for the rival Cardinals.
The best rivalry in baseball (Yankees/Red Sox, Dodgers/Giants can suck it) has a surprisingly long history of players playing for both sides. Per Baseball Reference, there have been 324(!) players to don both the North Side pinstripes and red bird logos.
With this in mind, we get to play one of our favorite games…nostalgia. We all know the Jason Heywards and John Lackeys of the world. We live in the muck, the lesser known names that worked both sides of this double edge sword.
On Thursday, the Buffalo Bills announced Von Miller was headed towards the IR with a bum knee.
The team is hoping this isn’t the end of their best edge rusher for the season, and that he’ll be back for what Bills Mafia is hoping will be a deep playoff run. A minor setback for a major comeback, as they say.
While it is awful that we won’t see big number 40 out there for a month, that’s not really why we’re writing this blog. We are using this, as we will any opportunity, to remind you all of how bad Von Miller farts.
That’s right, he’s a habitual breaker of wind, a heinous back blaster, a brutal booty bomber…and he’s got the receipts to prove it.
The only thing better than the food during Thanksgiving week is the sports. Feast week in college basketball, rivalry week in college football, and more, all in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
Feast week brings the upsets, in college basketball Early in the season, and number one did fall Friday night the Cyclones upset UNC Iowa State resumé building early victory
After all these years, feeling like big brother Recently there seems to be a bigger, better, other Two years in a row now, and they’re feeling great Two straight wins for Michigan over Ohio State
A rare win for the Raiders, and even better yet Josh Jacobs set all the records that ever could be set Over 300 yards between rushing and receiving Every time he touched the ball, defenders he was leaving
A NBA homecoming, loving all around Ben Simmons came back to play in his old stomping grounds His favorite fans in Philly, I’m sure it felt so warm He had a double double so at least he did perform
After jumping out to an early lead by way of a 36th minute goal by Timothy Weah, the US Men’s National Team and seemingly every fan on Twitter thought they were on their way; not only to an easy win over Wales, but the entire World Cup.
A flurry of yellow cards and a bad decisions later, Gareth Bale put a bulge in the onion bag in the 82nd minute via penalty kick that sent the US and Wales into draw territory, giving each side a point in Group B.
Phew. We have fully flexed our soccer muscles and knowledge. Did that sound convincing?
No matter the result, (which this wasn’t a terrible one, wasn’t a great one), the World Cup is awesome and we’re happy the USMNT is back as a part of it.
Now everyone rest up, get some water, and eat your orange peels…we’ve got a Revolutionary War rematch on Friday.
It’s a cold hard fact that the sports week is coming to an end. We review in this week’s SSM.
Let’s start with the world’s game, AKA jogo bonito The World Cup is finally back, a fact you cannot veto Always great to see the best footballers, smooth like butter The only question left; do you say it Qatar or Qatar?
Cowboys and the Vikings, game of the week potential Result of this game is without question consequential Thought it would be a good one, battle of some studs Cowboys blew them out, Vikings may be duds
Patriots and Jets, setting football back Decades with this one, neither team on track Pats won on a walk off, a punt return touchdown Jets punted 10 times, offense full of clowns
It is time we talk about the best NBA team These guys just come out every night with a head full of steam They’ve won six straight, are very hot, doing some crazy things Our current favorite team is the Sacramento Kings
A brutal crash and burn for Tennessee football Big tumble for a team that was just standing so tall Lost their starting quarterback, and the game by 25 Any playoff chances for them are no longer alive
The Philadelphia Eagles took their first loss this season harder than any NFL team in history.
After taking an L to Taylor Heinicke and those feisty Washington Commanders on Monday Night Football, Howie Roseman and the boys upstairs in Philadelphia went to WORK. On Wednesdsay they signed Linval Joseph, and Thursday followed up with more beef in signing former head bashing person stomper Ndamukong Suh.
With all this action going on in The City of Brotherly Love, we tapped into our sources to see who else the 8-1 Eagles may be looking to add for a deep playoff run that they hope ends in Glendale in February.
Odell Beckham Jr.
The Eagles traded for AJ Brown in the offseason, addressing a huge hole in their roster configuration. Why not keep adding?
All 32 teams would love a fresh OBJ for the long run, but the Eagles may just be the right fit.
Manziel, the current QB for the legendary FCF Zappers of the Fan Controlled Football League, could bring some stability to the QB room.
Sources indicate Manziel could be interested in a NFL comeback if the fit seems right.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
While Manziel is currently (?) an active football player, Johnson has had experience in the past.
The owner of The XFL, seen here celebrating reading his first entire magazine article, would be a great fit even after recently turning 50 years old.
League circles say The Rock’s recent statements confirming he wouldn’t run for president came from a yearning to make it in the NFL.
The carpenter from Bethlehem has recently had his team leak information to teams that he may finally be ready to join an NFL roster.
Christ did not immediately return our request for comment.
Some big names floating around the rumor mills these days. One thing about the NFL, it’s never boring. It will be incredibly interesting to see how these free agents and others fit in as the season progresses.