Oh Shit, the Heard v. Depp Verdict is In

Photo: E! News

The final defecation, I mean decision has been handed brown, I mean down.

After an absolute shit-show of a trial, the jury finally decided in favor of Johnny Depp in the Amber Heard v. Johnny Depp he sued, she sued defamation trail that had $150M being sought between the two.

Man, this case absolutely went in the toilet. The whole thing smelled foul, and seemed repugnant from the start. The fact that cameras were allowed in the court room, and this whole case was dumped on us for a month and half stinks. The entire thing was a contest of who could sling the most mud out about the other person. It was total crap.

Luckily, the post-argument deliberation was short, and the jury decided not to squat on it for too long. They got up off their asses and logged their delivery as quickly as possible. They did not choose to sit on their throne and fart around; what was inside all of them was put it on paper in a brisk fashion. Kudos to them.

After all of this, I’m exhausted. I’d like to build a log cabin and hide. This whole case was annoying, like a dog scratching at my back door. I’m glad we can finally put this all behind us and stick this drama where the sun don’t shine.