Some absolute bananas “news” out of Pittsburgh this morning.
The Pittsburgh Steelers, as confirmed by running back Jaylen Warren, are considering using recently acquired quarterback Justin Fields as a punt returner.
Punt. Returner.
As if this man hasn’t been boned (pause) enough; what was meant to be his fresh start with a patient, quarterback rich organization, quickly has become a circus.
The Bears made the right choice in dealing Fields and going with Caleb Williams, for a number of reasons. Even so, they absolutely LOADED UP the second he was gone. More help than Fields ever had during his three years in Chicago. Just have to imagine it stings a little bit seeing your old team put the pedal to the medal from afar.
But the guy gets a new team who has done a lot of winning, and it almost immediately turns into a freak show. Even if this ends up not being true, the fact that he is continually treated as a pawn has to be incredibly frustrating.
The NFLPA does a lot of good things, but their yearly report card might be the best.
The one time each year that players get to anonymously eviscerate their teams without worry. The 2024 edition is finally here, and there is some SHADE.
Again, Josh McDaniels has always been a perfect locker room guy.
Training Room
“F” grade: Commanders
The Commies are the only team to receive a failing grade in this category, and we’re always here for anything that further confirms Dan Snyder being a human puddle of garbage water.
“A” grades: Jaguars, Dolphins, Vikings
The Dolphins deserve this A for somehow managing to get Tua to play all 17 games this season.
Training Staff
“F” grades: Chiefs, Commanders
The only time the Chiefs and Commanders will be uttered in the same breath.
Only two of these teams made the playoffs; are training staffs even important?
Shoutout to the NFLPA for allowing the boys to anonymously spill the tea every year, and shoutout to the Dolphins for getting A’s in every single category. More importantly, shoutout to the Commanders for locking down four out of six F’s.
The Titans fired Mike Vrabel today, a shock in the NFL coaching carousel not a lot of us saw coming.
Vrabel’s easily a top 10 coach; many teams would fire their current head coach right now and replace them with Vrabes if they could. Because of agents, contracts, etc., that unfortunately cannot happen.
What can happen, however, is provide a factual list of coaches who are still currently employed at the time of publishing of this blog.
That’s right: Giff Smith, while interim, is still indeed employed by the Chargers. Human bowling ball Brian Daboll is on the payroll. Matt Eberflus might just be hiding under the radar with all of the decisions the Bears have to make this offseason. Dennis Allen is still with the Saints, unless Jamies Winston decides otherwise. Finally, yes, even though his team is currently in the playoffs, Todd Bowles is still gainfully employed.
This is simply a list of still employed coaches, just a randomly selected bunch of guys who are current leaders of organizations in the NFL, unlike Mike Vrabel.
A pretty damning Wednesday at Halas Hall as outlined by Bears beat (Battlestar Galactica) writer Dan Wiederer’s Twitter timeline this afternoon. If you’re too lazy to click that link, here are a few highlights:
Starting left tackle Braxton Jones is heading to IR with a potentially season-ending neck injury.
No one knows who the fuck the actual defensive coordinator is now or moving forward.
When asked about the reason behind his thus far “robotic” play, Justin Fields said “coaching.”
Well at least they have a nice easy matchup coming up Sunday…
Against the Chiefs…
In Kansas City.
But it can’t really be that bad in Chicago, right?
Who cares if, as an organization, you’ve only made the playoffs six times in the last 28 years. It shouldn’t matter that the highest your offense has ranked since 2019 is 22nd. In that same period, a franchise with heavy hitters like Brian Urlacher, Dick Butkus, and Mike Singletary…the highest defensive ranking has been 15th.
Some more bright spots? The best quarterback in the Bears’ 103 year history is Jay Cutler! Of the top five leading receivers of all-time, one of them came after the year 1987! Your all-time leading scorer is a kicker who hasn’t worn your uniform in eight years!
So chin up, Bear Down, and go shock the world Sunday…no way facing Patrick Mahomes at home will be a disaster.
Those crazy bastards at NFL HQ have done it again.
The 2023 schedule release has been dropped, and there are some absolute bangers we’re in for next season.
After crunching the numbers and reviewing the entire history of NFL schedule releases, we are flabbergasted at how the NFL came up with some of these matchups.
Patriots vs. Jets – Week 3
I mean, holy shit. This is insane!
The New England Patriots and New York Jets. So much history between coaches, players, and regional hate.
Two franchises that have both had Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick as head coaches at one point in time.
The fact that those crazy fucks from the NFL came up with this matchup is borderline psychotic.
Ravens vs. Steelers – Week 5
You didn’t think the NFL would be this maniacal? You’re wrong, jabroni. These schedule makers are sadistic AF.
You really throw the record book out when these two teams get together. The fact that it happens so rarely makes it even better when we get this clash.
The uniform combos are pure, the defenses are always tough, and we are shook that we get to see these two light it up next year.
Cowboys vs. Eagles – Week 14
They can’t really get away with this, can they?
These NFL schedule makers are just going to schedule Bears/Packers and act like they just didn’t pull of a miracle?!
Both of these teams are loaded with talent. This matchup may just be decided by who’s fanbase can be more unbearable by the fourth quarter, when it counts.
Bears vs. Packers – Week 1
Light me on fire, slap me in the face, and throw me over a cliff, this matchup is deranged.
The Packers have had some serious playoff woes, coming off another first round exit last season.
In fact, Green Bay has lost nine postseason matchups since 2011 (the Bears losing only twice in that span), but this early season matchup may set the tone for both of these franchise’s 2023-2024 seasons.
At this point, the NFL schedule reveal is overwhelming. They’re just pounding us over the head with wackadoodle pairings that I’m not sure we as football fans deserve, nor will be able to handle. The NFL is king, and they proved it once again today.
The NFL Playoffs are officially set. There were other sports happenings as well; and it’s all here in this week’s SSM.
Can only start in one place, and that’s Damar Hamlin A terrible event to start, but something good begins The response took our breaths away, honors and donations It showed the power of kindness has no limitations
AFC and NFC, both top seeds are set Philly and Kansas City, two offenses like jets Both great quarterbacks, defenses are strong too Chiefs would be and old story, but Eagles would be new
On the other end, those Chicago Bears Worst team in the league, falling down the stairs Took their 14th loss of the season on the chin But got the number one pick, so kind of a win
Hottest team in the NBA, place your Finals bets Won 13 of 14, those pesky Brooklyn Nets The boys are on a roll more than halfway through the season Surely no way anything will change, no way for no reason
We had the last sports equinox of the year this week. That and more in our latest SSM.
World Series is over, new kings have been crowned Astros win another one, and are parade bound No trash can drama this time, at least no rumors yet If you were to wager though, might not be a bad bet
Some major programs going down in college football Alabama lost again, Tennessee also did fall Clemson also lost to an unranked Notre Dame This part of the football season never comes up lame
We got vintage Tom Brady against the LA Rams Still trying to beat the notion that the Bucs are shams Come back win, fourth quarter drive, TB played the right cards Also became the first QB with 100k yards
Other end of the spectrum, one guy just getting started Justin Fields running the ball at a level uncharted Broke the rushing record for a QB in a game One hundred seventy-eight yards, left the field aflame
The biggest story of the week, what else can we say The Nets made the right move by keeping Kyrie at bay Terrible post, terrible week, he doesn’t seem to care The constant act this guy gives us is starting to wear
We continue a longstanding tradition here at UDS by dedicating an entire SSM to Week One NFL action.
Big start on Thursday night, Rams and the Bills Pregame program was legit, full of fluff and frills The game was in LA, but plenty Bills fans there Josh Allen and the boys came out and won the game with flair
Sunday start in the dirty, Falcons and the Saints Start of football season, we have no complaints Something so familiar, Falcons had an early lead They coughed it up and lost, almost guaranteed
Browns and the Panthers, Baker revenge bowl He wanted to win this game with his entire soul Browns came out and played, got a surprising win Panthers almost came back, there’s a positive spin
The San Francisco 49ers are used to good weather The conditions in Chicago, they were different all together It rained and rained and rained some more, really came down strong A nice win for the Bears in a season that might be long
Steelers and the Bengals, an AFC North tilt Bengals came in walking tall, like a man on stilts Five turnovers for Joe Burrow, not like him at all Even so, we had OT, but the Bengals did fall
Eagles and the Lions, closer than we expected! Coming into the day, thought this game would be neglected Lions got down early, then almost came back Lot of money on the Eagles, banks almost attacked
Texans and the Colts, folks we have a tie Same score in regulation, OT, and then the game died Feels like a win for Houston, Indy can not be psyched Have to think a blowout win is what they would’ve liked
Patriots and Dolphins, Miami’s brand new look Mike McDaniel’s offense had Bill Belichick’s D shook Tua looked OK, Tyreek and Waddle balled Dolphin fans ecstatic, Pats fans are appalled
Ravens and the Jets, Flacco revenge game Cool Joe did play pretty well, can’t give him much blame Lamar Jackson’s on a mission, wants to get that big money Three touchdowns and Ravens win, L-Jack sweet as honey
Jags and the Commanders, this game just seemed weird First game for Carson Wentz in DC, brought his big red beard Jaguars were close to grabbing a week one win At least until week two for victories to begin
Giants and the Titans, King Henry and Saquon The Titan bruised along, Giant looked like a swan Another crazy comeback, as New York did their job Titans played tough in the first half, but ended like slobs
Cardinals and the Chiefs, and a new look KC Went to Arizona, first opportunity To see if they still had it after losing some big stars Five tuddy’s for Pat Mahomes, he did not go too far
Chargers and the Raiders, matchup in LA Justin Herbert is a stud, and he was on display Three touchdowns and no picks, his team is 1-0 Raiders have a nice roster, only upwards to go
Vikings and the Packers, A-Rod needs to some talent He can’t go out and win himself, they guy’s only so gallant Story is not about him though, Vikings looked pretty good Kirk Cousins was really sharp, was he misunderstood?
Buccaneers and Cowboys, Sunday night in Dallas Jerry Jones must love it when we’re focused on his palace Tough break for Big Jer, as Tom Brady is still here TB12 wins again, will for 100 years
Look at him, drink in every inch of that perfectly tailored suit.
The NFL got better on Friday when the Carolina Panthers announced the hiring of Ben McAdoo as their new offensive coordinator. Before Pete Davidson was the sexiest man in New York, Coach McAdoo held that title. The former Giants head coach last prowled the sidelines in 2017 with the G-men, and had been in consulting roles with the Jaguars and Cowboys since he was unjustly fired in New York.
An undervalued offensive mind, Big Bad Ben brings the twisted steel and sex appeal the Panthers were looking for in their search. The titillating teacher of offense graced the Giants with his beautiful brain during an incredible run that started in 2016 and unfortunately ended in 2017.
2016: ranked 26th in scoring offense, ahead of juggernauts like the Bears, Jets, and Browns
2016: ranked 29th in rushing, beating out dependable runners like Theo Riddick of the Lions and Jerick McKinnon of the Vikings
2016: ranked 17th in passing, out-throwing big arms like Ryan Tannehill of the Dolphins and Brock Osweiler of the Texans
2017: ranked 31st in scoring offense, blowing the Browns out of the water (just like 2016)
2017: ranked 26th in rushing, a huge improvement from 2016 and outrushing big hitters like Kerwynn Williams of the Cardinals and Samaje Perine of the Washington Football Team
2017: ranked 19th in passing, this extremely slight drop from 2016 can easily be explained by the improved rushing attack and becoming a more balanced offense. Even with all of that, that stellar offense had more passing yards than Joe Flacco’s Ravens and Jacoby Brissett’s Colts
Absolute fireworks. If you’re a Carolina Panther fan today, I don’t know how you’re containing your excitement. Go buy those season tickets because they’ll be flying off the shelf after this announcement. Go out and get that “Panthers Super Bowl Champs 2023” tattoo. Name your next born “Benjamin.” There are no rules after organization shifting hires like Coach McAdoo.
You’ve got yourself a stud…ride that pony all the way to the Lombardi Trophy.
Like an old friend, SSM is back to review the week that was in sports.
First week 18 in NFL history Helped solved some teams playoff mysteries Titans and Packers are number one seeds Lead the AFC and NFC, respectively
Big upset that changed some plans Jags beat the Colts, now they’re playoff banned Indy won’t move on, their season is done An all time choke, they were on such a run
A football tradition, all gas and no breaks Dolphins beat the Pats in a game with no stakes A one year playoff hiatus for the Pats But they’re back in the dance, and that is that
In the “coaches probably fired” Super Bowl Vikings beat the Bears, Skol skol skol Mike Zimmer and Matt Nagy, things looking grim Both coaches and their staffs may get trimmed
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