Unlike Netflix, we’ll never ghost you on Sundays. SSM is live.
We’re past the play in tournament, the real playoffs are here The NBA is trying now, and to that we cheer Sixers came out strong, Lakers and Heat too Brooklyn and the Cavaliers have some work to do
The bad man’s gone in DC, Commanders fans rejoice Dan Snyder has sold the team and it was not his choice Twenty four years of shit, team’s a total mess Anyone could do it better, and we’ll be impressed
We all shared a dream, and we were on the way An undefeated baseball season from the Tampa Rays A cloud rolled in on Friday, a loss was in the air The Blue Jays won an crushed us all, unable to bear
On Tuesday night, TNT’s Inside the NBA, the best pregame show in sports, hosted a retired police officer for a segment. In the lead up to the Hawks vs. Heat game, the always outspoken Charles Barkley let his mouth write a check his round mound might not be able to cash:
Not a whole lot of information about the recipient of the Chuck’s billion, but it appears he had career stops in Orlando, Los Angeles, Miami, Phoenix, Cleveland, and Boston. He seemed to have been pretty good at his job; a very overpowering force who had acquired a slew of fun nicknames during his service time.
You always love to see when someone who has made so much money in his career be so willing to give back. Another reason we all love Charles. What a kind, kind gesture to be so free with his hard earned income.
It’s Easter Sunday, John Rahm is the Masters champion, and SSM is here.
We start at Augusta, they did it again Jon Rahm is the champion, a green jacket win Took over in the final round, took it away from Brooks Lost it in the end, and Rahm gave him the hook
Hottest start in baseball, your Tampa Bay Rays Won their first nine game and did it in so many ways Best start to a baseball season since 2003 Rays sitting at 9-0, start drinking the tea
The NBA is winding down, almost playoff time Play will start to ratchet up, they’ll actually try Milwaukee and Denver will be your one seeds Regular season sucks, postseason’s what we need
We love college hockey, we say it all the time No mention of Quinnipiac, it would be a crime NCAA champions, won in overtime Beat the Golden Gophers, has to feel sublime
First and second round pairings have been released, and we’ve got opinions.
As always, there’s great groups and bad groups. To golf fans collective chagrin, the majority of these groups are substandard, unsatisfactory, and dreadful…or so says the synonym list for “bad.”
8:12 a.m. – Vijay Singh, Scott Stallings, Matthew McClean (A): Vijay is still somehow doing it…just locked in the amateur to finish higher than him and that ticket will CASH.
9:48 a.m. – Bubba Watson, Seamus Power, Mateo Fernandez de Oliveira (A): this group has taken the early Masters lead for best collective names.
10:18 a.m. – Tiger Woods, Viktor Hovland, Xander Schauffele: probably the strongest group we’ll get, and will definitely be an episode of Full Swing season two.
10:42 a.m. – Justin Thomas, Jon Rahm, Cameron Young: another robust group, only missing the greatest golfer of all time like the previous group mentioned above.
12:24 p.m. – Phil Mickelson, Tom Hoge, Si Woo Kim: one of LIV’s biggest and reddest faces is paired up with a collective five PGA Tour wins.
1:12 p.m. – Dustin Johnson, Corey Conners, Justin Rose: this group actually plays. Two big names and the guys who carded a sixth place finish in last years Masters.
2:00 p.m. – Jordan Spieth, Tommy Fleetwood, Tony Finau: strong name recognition in the last group of Day 1; advantage to Fleetwood here if his body’s still on European time.
The Masters always seems to come at just the right time, almost like they planned it. The weather’s getting warmer, college basketball is over, and the post Opening Day excitement of baseball has already faded. So fill your work calendar with bogus meetings, check your inbox once an hour, and enjoy the beautiful sights and fake bird chirps of Augusta once more.
Caitlin Clark’s run is done, Opening Day came and went, and more in this week’s SSM.
Women’s hoops got all the shine, and it was well deserved Caitlin Clark’s a superstar, her ending threw a curve LSU just could not miss, rolled on the Hawkeyes Bayou Bengals are the champs, to the top they rise
In the other bracket, the men were playing too Aztecs beat the Owls, and UCONN beat the U The final is tomorrow, Huskies looking strong If SDSU end up champs, wouldn’t it feel wrong?
Baseball’s back and holy shit, are the rule changes great The pitch clock makes the pitchers hurry up to the plate Other changes too have sped the game up big time If they keep this up the sport will be back to sublime
In the NBA, rough look for Minnesota If their goal was being bad, Sunday they met their quota The biggest loss in history, an L to the Trailblazers Might as well just sell the team, someone call the appraiser
If you’re of a certain age, Power Rangers was your number one show for a significant chunk of your childhood. You always had your favorite ranger when playing with your friends, the prop belt was your favorite accessory, and you hated that bitch Rita Repulsa.
It’s been a hot minute since we’ve ranked; now seems like a great time to rank our favorite Rangers.
5. Henrik Lundqvist
I mean c’mon, 15 years betwixt the pipes in one of the biggest media markets in the NHL.
A gold medal win in the 2006 Winter Olympics with Sweden, a 92% career save percentage, and 64 shutouts.
4. Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez
Thirteen seasons in Texas and one of the greatest nicknames of all time.
During his time in Texas, Pudge won the 1999 MVP, thirteen Gold Gloves, and has his famous number seven retired.
3. Mark Messier
Messier was such a great Ranger, they brought him back for a second stint with the team, making it 10 total seasons in New York.
He brought a Stanley Cup to the franchise in 1994, it’s first in 54 years.
2. Nolan Ryan
One of the greatest pitchers not only in Rangers, but baseball history.
The longevity in itself puts Ryan high on our list. He made his MLB debut in 1966, and threw his last pitch in a major league game in 1993.
The man was at the tail end of his career in Texas and still averaged 10.1 strikeouts per nine innings from ages 42-46.
1. Stockton Graves
This is a gimme. One of the biggest name to ever come out of the esteemed educational institution of higher learning, Northwestern Oklahoma State University.
Graves joined the Professional Rodeo Cowboy Association (PRCA) in 1997, culminating with a career-defining win in the RAM National Circuit Finals Rodeo in 2006.
In 2011, Graves decided to let the rest of the PRCA have some, and retired to become the head rodeo coach as his alma mater.
We’re all ready for the Power Rangers reboot, it surely won’t be terrible. I’m just not sure if we can all wait until April 19th; until then we’ll just have to survive on all of the memories from our favorite Rangers.
We all know March Madness is a circus as usual…but what else happened this week? SSM is here to tell ya.
The World Baseball Classic, still going on Trea Turner hit a grand slam, going going gone USA, Cuba, Mexico and Japan Are the Final Four, who will be greater than?
Couple big NFL deals, other than the Jets Zeke no longer a Cowboy, Brandin Cooks their new bet Laremy Tunsil got the bag, so did Orlando Brown NFL, it never stops, in the news year round
We’ve covered them before, said they’re really fun That was early season though, maybe we jumped the gun Turns out we were right though, high praise we still will sing First time in 16 seasons, a winning record for the Kings
Aaron Rodgers has completed his voyage in Green Bay and is now beginning his expedition with the Jets.
After a stupefying eighteen seasons in America’s Dairyland, including over 63,000 yards though land and air, 510 visits to the end zone, and reaching the mountain top in the most Super of Bowls in 2011, a bipartisan love affair between the quarterback and those who adore him is passing on into the ether.
What awaits this sublime champion in his new trek east? A whole new universe. Buroughs aplenty; a simple guessing game implies Rodgers fits best in Brooklyn. The broadest of ways, ladies with the upmost levels of liberty, and proximity to The World Trade Center for some closer research.
Will any of this work? Will this new amalgamation of quarterback and team result in the success both are seeking? That’s for the higher power, and Nathaniel Hackett, to decide.
It is March, and madness reigns supreme. Selection Sunday is here, and so is this week’s SSM.
The bracket has been set, it is almost time March Madness is here, and all is sublime Houston, Kansas, Bama, Purdue all are our one seeds Large buffet of basketball, and we’re here to feed
A long time partnership is done, and we’ve gotta feelin’ The Minnesota Vikings will miss Adam Thielen All-time Minnesota guy, made a big impression There will be a market for his talents, no question
In a surprise to no one, Shohei is a stud The World Baseball Classic due to him is not a dud Japan looks like the team to beat, Netherlands good too Always good to have baseball on TV to view
Bummer in the Valley, KD hurt his leg Maybe back for the playoffs, CP3 will beg Suns are still the four seed, in pretty good shape When KD comes back he’ll have to wear his super cape
We’re writing about anything other than another dumbass Jake Paul fight in this week’s SSM.
Manny Machado, got himself the bag Eleven for 350, waive all those green flags Staying with the Padres, not going anywhere Sending him a DM now to ask if he will share
Crazy week in basketball, college and the pros Sixers and the Celtics is the first place that we’ll go Jayson Tatum hit a dagger with 1.3 left Embiid’s shot went in, but late, 70 foot heft
Earlier this week, Kings and Clippers scored a bunch Went to two OTs, almost played ’til brunch Three hundred fifty-one points were scored between the two Kings won in a thriller, Clippers were subdued
In the college game, Iowa just did it all Huge comeback for both teams, hero basketball The men came back from 13 with 1:34 left Caitlin Clark a buzzer beater, Indiana effed
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