Our Third Annual NBA “City Edition” Jersey Analysis

Photo: NBA.com

It’s that time of year! For the third consecutive season, the fashion department here at UDS has been called upon to make stupid jokes about the latest versions of the NBA “City Edition” jerseys. Let’s get right down to business.

Atlanta Hawks – slick font, but use the peach font you cowards.
Boston Celtics – very cool to hit copy and paste from the Bucks normal uni’s.
Brooklyn Nets – just like last years, using the “Friends” font makes this jersey dumb…but there’s not much the Nets could’ve done that’s worse than what’s going on with that organization right now.
Charlotte Hornets – more like Charlotte Hornys, amirite?

Chicago Bulls – I think the designer for this one forgot the assignment was due at midnight and remembered at 11:53PM.

Cleveland Cavaliers – these jerseys are giving an original Mario level feel; for that reason this one gets a pass.
Dallas Mavericks – another good effort here. Still irrationally angry that a player as great as Luka Donฤiฤ‡ wears number 77.
Denver Nuggets – we may have our annual winner of “high school team from a Disney movie” uniforms.
Detroit Pistons – eh, this is an L. Just give us the Grant Hill throwbacks and call it a day.
Golden State Warriors very cool to dip the bottom of your jerseys in pollen; bumblebees everywhere loving this.
Houston Rockets – same look as last year, same result. These are a winner.
Indiana Pacers – we have enough shortages in this country; the Pacers have now added a thread shortage to the list.
Los Angeles Clippers – uh…these are at least the best uniforms in LA.
Los Angeles Lakers – there needs to be a federal investigation into why the Lakers keep trying to incorporate black into their uniforms.
Memphis Grizzlies – very lazy to copy the Vlade Divac/Peja Stojakoviฤ‡ era Kings uniforms.
Miami Heat these are pretty similar to last year, but Miami wins this race every year and they’re right up there again.
Milwaukee Bucks – these are a mix of last year’s uniforms and the Kevin Garnett era Timberwolves…yucky.
Minnesota Timberwolves – speaking of the T’wolves…these are like the rough draft of the Nets uni’s.
New Orleans Pelicans – these are fine…would be way better if there were sewed on beads across the front.
Oklahoma City Thunder – this poor organization has never done this well; so not much to expect here. Much like the Pistons, they should just do the Supersonics uniforms.
Orlando Magic – while these aren’t a huge jump from their normal ‘fits, the fact that they didn’t incorporate orange this year like they have in the past is a win.
Philadelphia 76ers – as good as these are, the fact that they’re sponsored by a crypto website make these super sus.
Phoenix Suns – the Suns have nailed these in the past; but I think the Spurs have a case for copyright infringement with these bad boys.
Portland Trailblazers – these are like the away jerseys of the Suns jerseys, and should be included in the Spurs lawsuit. Big year for teal in the NBA.
Sacramento Kings – these are the “high school team from a Disney movie” runner ups, boring.
San Antonio Spurs – exhibit A in the aforementioned legal action suggested in this blog. These are the winners.
Toronto Raptors – so the Bulls designer also worked with the Raptors? Got it.
Washington Wizards – some very flowy flowers heavily featured here…can we start the Wizards to Hawaii rumors?

Wow…another year, another set of middle-of-the-road uniforms with even worse jokes to go with them. Thanks for the opportunity to create content, NBA.

Sunday State of Mind: April 25th-May 1st

Photo: CNN

A jam-packed sports schedule lends itself to a few reminders here and there. That’s what SSM is for, you’re welcome.

The picking of the prospects, the NFL Draft
Fans getting new players finding out how their roster’s staffed
Draft grades make no sense, have to give these guys some time
To see if they’ll be good or bad, substandard or sublime

Round two NBA Playoffs are starting today
Eight teams left, four East four West, still able to play
Injuries aplenty, still plenty guys to see
Best time of the year NBA fans will all agree

Major League Baseball dropped the damn hammer
Threw out pitcher Trevor Bauer in the baseball slammer
A two year suspension, for some bad off field stuff
Search it at your own risk, it is pretty rough

Sunday State of Mind: November 1st-November 7th

Photo: PBS

The colors are changing, but the sports world is not. We look back at the week that was in this week’s SSM.

World Series Champs, your Atlanta Braves
A bonus Astros loss, what baseball fans crave
A total random champ in the MLB
Finally Atlanta fans filled with major glee

Bad week for the Bills, lost to the Jags
No TD’s on either side, not riches but rags
Real life Spiderman meme, two Josh Allens
Final score of 9-6, two teams with no talons

Speaking of bad weeks, Odell Beckham Junior
Got divorced from the Browns, should’ve happened sooner
OBJ got his wish, went and got waived
Time for a new team, and a path to be paved

Aaron friggin’ Rodgers, what a wild week
Talked on McAfee’s show, one hell of a streak
He missed this week in KC, after a positive test
For COVID 19, needs a PR life vest

More bad PR, from the NBA
Two awful owners, who maybe just might pay
For their terrible actions, probably time to go
The Suns and The Blazers, both guys really blow

A Tradition Unlike Any Other – NBA “City Edition” Jersey Analysis

Look at all those beauts.

A great start to the week for all of us uniform analysts out there. The NBA dropped their 2021-2022 “City Edition” jerseys on Monday. One of our favorite traditions around here is being completely uninformed fashion critics. As we did last season, we are here once again to provide commentary that no one asks for or needs.

Atlanta Hawks – pretty clean. Yellow sucks as a main color but the “Atlanta” font has a nice throwback feel.
Boston Celtics – these looks like a team whose uniform budget ran out of white thread to fill in the letters and numbers.
Brooklyn Nets – always a good idea to throw back to the Jason Kidd/Richard Jefferson/Kenyon Martin era. Turns out the Nets Big 3 in the early aughts might end up being better than their current Big 3.
Charlotte Hornets – if you are privy to migraines, don’t dig too deep into these bad boys.
Chicago Bulls – the throwback font on “Chicago” is cool, but the basic number font doesn’t pair well, be better Bulls.

Cleveland Cavaliers – at time of writing, the Cavs have yet to post about their City Edition jerseys; simply shocking that an organization so well run would miss something like this. If you really want to get an idea, go watch Hoosiers.

Dallas Mavericks – not a bad effort here. Just surprising that the player they chose to model is never healthy enough to wear any of their uniforms.
Denver Nuggets – not only are these fun, but educational! I liked that Denver incorporated the ABA ball, and had no idea before today that their old logo was a miner. Also, the rainbow/mountain look always plays for the Nuggets in the uniform game.

Detroit Pistons – aren’t these pretty much just…their normal uniforms with the colors flipped? Only redeeming quality here is a that hint of Grant Hill era green/turquoise on the shorts.

Golden State Warriors – same vibes as the Pistons here for me. These are basically jerseys we’ve seen before, with one saving grace: the “splash” feature is awesome.
Houston Rockets – these are slick. I always liked the Barkley/Pippen/early Yoa Ming era Rockets jerseys, and it’s a nice touch incorporating that with their current logo on the shorts without it looking dumb.
Indiana Pacers – my answer to the above tweet? That these are only temporary.
Los Angeles Clippers – wowzers these are clean. Nothing crazy, crisp letter & number font, great shade of baby blue. Not many wins for the Clips so far this year, but this is one.
Los Angeles Lakers – “lost” is an appropriate word the Lakers used in the above tweet. I get what they were going for here, but I think it’s a miss. If you’re one of the most storied franchises in NBA history and you City Edition jersey looks like the Charlotte Hornets Starter pullover jacket we all had in the 90’s, you missed.
Memphis Grizzlies – anytime you have the opportunity to lean into some of the greatest uniforms of all time, you need to take it. Opportunity squandered.

Miami Heat – year in and year out, the Heat are at the top of any type of alternate uniform list, and nothing changes here. The ability to pull off all of the neon blues, pinks, etc. puts them at an unfair advantage. Excellent as usual.

Milwaukee Bucks – kind of cool, I guess. The side panel with all of the greens and purple works, but another weird letter/number font combo.
Minnesota Timberwolves – Kevin Garnett would be proud, and so am I. Nice and easy look, the accent trees on the belt and shorts, with the throwback font as a cherry on top.
New Orleans Pelicans – looks like the Pelicans and Pistons share the same design team. This is just their normal jerseys, right?
Oklahoma City Thunder – “Welcome to Create a Team on NBA2K22, this is the first screen where you start designing your team’s uniforms!”
Orlando Magic – one of life’s most intriguing questions; what is with the Orlando Magic’s infatuation with the color orange?

Philadelphia 76ers – nice 70’s ABA vibe here. The multi-colored side panel gives off a little Nuggets/rainbow feature as well.

Phoenix Suns – the Suns haven’t posted about their City Edition jerseys at time of writing. But, it doesn’t appear they changed anything from last year. Those were perfect, so if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Portland Trailblazers – not a huge stray away from their normal threads, but this still plays. How about the argyle-ish side panel, when was the last time we saw that on an NBA uniform?

Sacramento Kings – the lion logo is above par, the rest is fine. I’m going to use my joke from last year’s review (because it was so hilarious), I can see thousands of bros at Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza rocking these bad boys solely because is has โ€œsacโ€ on it, which is approval enough for me.

San Antonio Spurs – all in on these. Bright colors really work when teams try to think outside of the box on uniforms, and the Spurs’ color history works perfect for this.

Toronto Raptors – the Raptors kind of have a Magic/orange obsession with gold; very random. But you have to give some points here for the old school logo. A dinosaur dribbling a basketball, how absurd.

Utah Jazz – no social media post, and based on the picture above it doesn’t look like the Jazz put too much effort into their City Edition jerseys this year, sad!

Washington Wizards – ending with a winner here. Fairly basic design, love the font from the Washington B*llets days. Well done in our nation’s capital.

Another year, another mediocre City Edition jersey review. This is a fun thing the NBA does every year, and while I’m sure they love the conversation and extra dollars that come with it, the misses are almost always as good as the hits.

Put Another Shrimp on the Barbie in the Ben Simmons/76ers Feud

Photo: CBS Sports

Crikey! This has gone from bad to worse.

On Tuesday, the heavily reported rift between the Philadelphia 76ers and Ben Simmons reached a new level. After previously leaking he was done with the 76ers, the point guard reported unannounced, practiced with his phone in his pocket yesterday, and then got kicked out of practice today for being unwilling to participate.

After saying “g’day mate” to his teammates on the way out of practice, Simmons was subsequently suspended for the team’s opening night matchup against the Pelicans. Woof.

Simmons will now have a some time away from the team. With all of the strange offseason moves in the past few months, what he’ll do with this time, no one knows.

He would presumably have time to enjoy all the Vegemite he desires. Or maybe practice his free throw shooting? How about trying to get back in with the Kardashian family? While his old fling Kendall Jenner is currently with Devin Booker, Simmons has already shown that he follows the “just because there’s a goalie, doesn’t mean you can’t score” mantra in life.

After a tumultuous offseason and a seemingly broken relationship between the 76ers and their point guard, all you can hope for is that this thing doesn’t get any uglier than it already is. If both sides can sit down and talk over some cheesesteak and meat pies, maybe they find some middle ground. Until then, the saga continues.

Who Wore it Best? 39-30

Photo: Dr. Odd

We’re sadly on the downhill turn of “Who Wore It Best.” In this edition, we get into the 30’s.

39 – Dominik Haลกek

Photo: NHL.com

Hot start for hockey! Haลกek was one of the greatest goaltenders to ever do it. His career spanned four decades (1980-2011), and included two Stanley Cups, two Hart Memorial trophies, and six Vezina trophies.

Honorable Mention: Larry Csonka

38 – Pavol Demitra

Demitra seemed to be on track to becoming one of the best Czech players in the game. He recorded 768 points in 847 games before sadly passing in a plane accident in 2011.

Honorable Mention: N/A

37 – Patrice Bergeron

Photo: CBS Sports

Bergeron has been a steady force for the Bruins since 2003. A part of the 2011 Stanley Cup winning team, Bergeron also made All-Star games in 2015 and 2016.

Honorable Mention: N/A

36 – Jerome Bettis

“The Bus” comes rumblin’, stumblin’, bumblin’ onto our list at 36. Bettis won a Super Bowl (in his home town of Detroit), was a two time first team All-Pro, and made six Pro Bowls.

Honorable Mention: Gaylord Perry

35 – Kevin Durant

An easy choice for what ended up being a stacked slot. Durant is potentially (based on how much you love/hate Lebron) currently the best basketball player on the planet. In a career with plenty of years left, Durant has already put together an incredible resume. The Slim Reaper has two NBA titles (Finals MVP in both), a regular season MVP, six first team All-NBA selections, and 11 All-Star appearances.

Honorable Mentions: Phil Niekro, Frank Thomas, Aeneas Williams, Tony Esposito

34 – Shaquille O’Neal

Another loaded number of selections here, but the most dominant big man of all time takes the cake. The Big Diesel’s career accolades are almost too much to list: four NBA championships, three NBA Finals MVPs, fifteen All-Star games, and eight first team All-NBA selections.

Honorable Mentions: Nolan Ryan, Kerry Wood, Hakeem Olajuwon, Walter Payton, Thurman Thomas, Earl Campbell

33 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

For as much good as Kareem has done off the court, he was as great on it. Six rings, a matching number of MVPs, 10 first team All-NBA selections, five first team All-Defensive teams, and lead the NBA in blocks in four separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Eddie Murray, Scottie Pippen, Zdeno Chรกra, Henrik Sedin, Dustin Byfuglien

32 – Magic Johnson

Photo: Curbed

We all know how good Magic was as a player. For as good as he was on the court, he may have found his true life’s calling as a hot take artist.

Honorable Mentions: Steve Carlton, Sandy Koufax, Marcus Allen, Jim Brown

31 – Greg Maddux

Photo: Taddlr

Maddux is the second of the 90’s Braves big three to make the list, with Tom Glavine making the cut at 47. Mad Dog ended his 22 year career with 355 wins, 18 Gold Gloves, and four Cy Youngs.

Honorable Mention: Reggie Miller

30 – Terrell Davis

Probably going to be our shortest career to make the list. Davis only played in the NFL from 1995-2001, but was good enough to make the Hall of Fame in 2017. In seven seasons, he racked up two Super Bowls, an MVP, and three first team All-Pro selections.

Honorable Mentions: Tim Raines, Martin Brodeur

The 30’s were by far our most expansive edition yet. Huge names and the honorable mention lists were incredible, specifically 32-35. One can only assume the list is going to keep improving into the 20’s.

Sunday State of Mind: July 12th-June 18th

Reports of SSM’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. Our weekly review of the past seven days in sports is back.

Collin Morikawa, The Open is all yours
Second win in eight majors, on his way to more
Jordan Spieth gave it a go, but came up just too short
Two young guns with bright ass futures, so great for the sport

Bucks are up three games to two, Suns are on their heels
The Finals will be over soon, we’ll all be in our feels
Devin Booker’s scoring in droves, Chris Paul is up and down
Giannis is one win away from dawning his first crown

If it is not one thing, it’s always another
Lindor and deGrom, why do the Mets even bother?
To say they have bad luck, would be and understatement at the least
Even with all the injuries, Mets first in the NL East

Speaking of New York, Yankees what the hell?
COVID outbreak last week, six positive players fell
Aaron Judge the biggest name, will be out at least 10 days
Will miss some time against the Phillies, Red Sox, and the Rays

Sunday State of Mind: June 21st-June 27th

Photo: Wall Up

Here we are again, friends. We have reached the end of another week, and we’re here to review in the latest Sunday State of Mind.

Of all the good stories this year, and there are aplenty
My favorite of them all may be Trey Mancini
Fought and beat cancer last year, but missed the entire season
I’ll be watching the Derby this year, and he’s the only reason

Three double digit hitting streaks in the MLB
Bryan from Pittsburgh, JP from Seattle, and from Houston, Yuli
One week pitchers are too good, and getting checked midgame
After that we get three guys who look like their next stop’s the Hall of Fame

Even more destroying of baseballs, the big guy Kyle Schwarber
When he steps into the box, pitcher’s crouch in horror
Thirteen home runs in fifteen games, guy is on a tear
When he’s in the zone like this, it’s almost just unfair

Another no hitter was thrown this week, Dodgers looking like scrubs
After starting Zach Davies and throwing three relievers, got no hit by the Cubs
It’s the seventh no-no in 2021, tying a major league mark
You never know what you’ll see day to day, at the old ballpark

Can’t forget the NBA, Conference Finals in full swing
Bucks and Hawks are tied 1-1, Suns are doing their thing
The Clippers are missing their guy Kawhi, sidelined by a knee
If he doesn’t get back soon, eliminated they will be

We do have one Finals match set, in the NHL
Montreal and Tampa Bay, let the excitement swell
Will Lord Stanley reside up north? Will Tampa Bay repeat?
Looking forward either way for how the season will complete

Sunday State of Mind: June 14th-June 20th

Happy Father’s Day! Read this week’s SSM to Dad since he was probably napping in his recliner during all the action.

Madden 22 has released their latest cover
Two goats, one game, great for football lovers
Brady and Mahomes are your newest cover boys
On the video game that has given all of us years of joy

Spider Tack introduced itself into the public eye
MLB cares all the sudden, truly wonder why
No chance that it could be because batting’s now a joke
Anything they can do to fix a sport that’s nearly broke

Suns and the Clippers, finals in the West
Phoenix and LA going to see who is the best
Bucks advanced in the East to face the 76ers or Hawks
Philly or Atlanta in game seven, loser has to walk

Sunday State of Mind: June 7th-June 13th

Photo: Faxo

A heavy dose of NBA this week, as Sunday State of Mind is back in a big way.

Your newly minted MVP is Nikola “The Joker”
He’s the best player in all the land, in no way a choker
The guy has done it all this year, averaged 26 & 11
Having a big man like that on your team must feel like absolute heaven

Bad news for the MVP, his team is playing the Suns
Denver is down three games to nil, looking all but done
The Nuggets need a miracle, to advance over Phoenix
Looking into Denver’s future, it’s all crying and Kleenex

As of writing this afternoon, all other series are 2-1
Jazz & Clips, Sixers & Hawks, Nets & Bucks, all fun
The Bucks stole one at home Thursday, otherwise have looked bad
Scary injuries for Embiid and Spider, Philly and Utah need their launch pads