Author: Chris Cook

A Full List of LeBron’s Demands After Claiming the Future NBA Franchise in Las Vegas

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Photo: Heavy

The King has called dibs.

In a wildly brash answer during a press conference in Las Vegas, LeBron James called out NBA Commissioner Adam Silver regarding the NBA potentially expanding to Sin City.

“He probably sees every single interview and transcript that comes through from NBA players…so, I want the team here, Adam.” said James.

Of course, LeBron is (AKA earned the right to be) the only current player in the NBA to come out and say something so bold while, obviously, still being on a roster. Even so, hearing a guy outwardly planning his next career move in Vegas while still having a lot of work to do for the Lakers is worth noting

While The King’s begging of the commissioner is getting the headlines, there were a number of other demands the 37-year-old James made during the Q&A session:

  • Officially outlawing traveling.
  • Requiring the entire NBA to activate “Zero Dark Thirty-23” during the playoffs.
  • All Klutch Sports clients provided a seventh foul before being fouled out of games.
  • Evolving “All-Star Weekend” to “All-Star Month and a Half.”
  • Any references to receding hairlines meriting a 41-game suspension.
  • LeBron provided an eighth foul before being fouled out of games.

A pretty burdensome list from LeBron. Without question he still has enough sway going into his 20th season to effect some changes in the NBA in the spirit of improving the league as a whole, and definitely not just himself.

The Aughts Hot or Not – OutKast “The Whole World”

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Photo: Amazon

After an extended sabbatical, The Aughts Hot or Not is back with the heat of 1,000 suns.

When it was time to fire up the AHN machine, we had to bring the goods. These guys are some of the most creative lyricists and performers of both the early aughts and today.

We’re talking the ATLiens, AKA Two Shades Deep, Big Boi and André 3000…that’s right, we’re reviewing OutKast’s 2001 hit “The Whole World.”

Music Video

OutKast has never been afraid to do something different. This music video lived up to that hype. If we were able to crawl inside the incredible minds of Big Boi and André 3000 we would guess they were thinking “sexy 1930’s carnival,” which is the most OutKast thing ever.

André 3000 starting with clown face paint that evolved into an Encanto character and early Justin Bieber hair (way before their time, these guys), Big Boi working one of those Bruce Buffer brick microphones that hangs down on a cord from the ceiling, and all of the scantily clad trapeze artists and women getting cut in half than you could shake a stick at. This video may have been the inspiration for the entire Stefon character on SNL.

Best Lyric

Hate, extreme prejudice, let’s dismiss this
If you want to, you can dub it to your hit list
I know you gon’ to, we in this to replenish yo’ musical wishlist
When it come to this music, we stay relentless
Pursuing all that’s persuable
Doing God’s willing, all things that are doable
The only liable limitation is yourself
Dre set it on the right and I’ll set it on the left ’cause

This is cheating because it’s Big Boi’s entire verse near the end of the song but…it’s my blog so who cares.

Just a classic silky smooth section of prose here. It’s really next level how many flowy rhymes they can fit into each line, almost like they build them on top of each other (ex: if you want to/I know you gon’ to) followed by the end of each line’s rhymes, which any schmuck can do (see our recurring Sunday State of Mind posts every Sunday!)

Worst Lyric

Glitter, glisten, gloss, floss
I catch a beat runnin’ like Randy Moss
Ride that bitch off like a brand new horse
I’m rollin’ my stones, gatherin’ no moss

This is actually from Killer Mike, who’s featured on the track, so the ATLiens aren’t even to blame here.

I am (shockingly) not a professional writer or lyricists, but you simply cannot rhyme “Moss” with “moss.” I will die on this hill. Especially on a feature with one of the greatest hip hop groups of all time. Using the same word is always a miss.

Rating

On top of my eternal admiration for OutKast, “The Whole World” won a 2002 Grammy Award for Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group. If that’s not enough to sway the vote, I don’t know what would be. This, like most of Big Boi and André 3000’s content, ranks up there for me.

Rating: 9 Carson Daly’s

Photo: USA Today

Sunday State of Mind: September 19th-September 25th

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Photo: National Parks and Nature Scenes

Save for a few more games, the sports have completed their sportsing this weekend. Let’s look back together at all the happenings in this week’s SSM.

The Albert Pujols show, big episode this week
Joined the 700 club, not bad for an antique
He did it in style, two bombs out in LA
The Yankees home run record keeping Aaron Judge at bay

Tough week in Miami, The U indeed not back
MTSU came to town, Hurricanes blue and black
First year, new coach for the ‘canes, so this isn’t the end
Another upset like this though, things may just start to bend

TB12 and A-Rod, who’s your favorite old QB
On field goat debate, what a thing to see
Could not care less who won the game, what matters to us most
Was how the hell did a bee swarm end up on the goal post?

Colts and the Chiefs, thought this would be easy
By the end of the game Kansas City fans were queasy
Big upset for Indy, Matt Ryan won a big one
Tough loss for the Chiefs, Andy Reid had no fun

Grandfather Finds Exciting Hobbies in Retirement

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Photo: WDAM

No matter the profession, it’s hard for anyone to transition from professional life to retirement.

Your mind can wander, finding things to fill more time than you’ve ever had, and keeping active can become a whole job in itself!

Brett Favre, a 52-year old grandfather of three spent 20 years working an extremely physical job. His career took him from Atlanta, Green Bay, New York, Minnesota, and everywhere in between. An expert in his field, Favre put his body on the line for years with a competitiveness and excitement rarely seen in his industry.

When he decided to retire in 2010, Favre decided to keep his mind and body active. While he may not have been able to perform at the physical level he did pre-retirement, the want-to to remain mobile is quite the admiral feat.

Technology

We’ve all heard the jokes about the elder generation and the ever-evolving world of technology. Laptops, iPhones, Twitter; who can keep track?

Mr. Favre can! Getting a start right after retiring in 2010, Brett sat down and learned all about his iPhone. He even mastered how to send pictures via text, which he really enjoyed. After the picture texts were conquered, he gained a following on Cameo and did great there as well.

Politics

One of the most admirable thing one can do is give back to where they came from. Mississippi, much like many places in America, can use all of the help they can get.

Favre, seeing a weakness, dedicated himself to get involved in local politics. His actions showed a sincere vision for how to manage the Mississippi Department of Human Services Welfare Fund. On top of his passion for those in his state sincerely needing assistance, he’s a family man.

With those two passions in mind, he fully threw himself into a project that lead to diverting millions of dollars from poor families to build a new volleyball facility at a local university. By sheer luck, the university just so happened to be the same institution his daughter attends. Even crazier; she actually plays volleyball!

It’s great when people help people. Local southern gentleman Brett Favre is both the ultimate competitor and unifier. We should all be so lucky to live amongst such altruistic, selfless being. A proud Mississippian that exudes self-sacrifice, decency, and nobility.

Sunday State of Mind: September 12th-September 18th

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Photo: Redbook

Another week of sports has come to an end. Another edition of SSM is about to begin.

New York Jets a huge comeback, the Browns just could not close
Jets fans feeling the win, there are so few of those
Down two scores, two minutes left, Cleveland had it all but won
Mental errors and screwups, all their hard work undone

Another comeback winner, Fins Up Dolphin fans
Ravens thought they had the win, Tua had other plans
Six touchdowns, a ton of yards, Miami 2-0
Coach McDaniel and the Fins putting on quite a show

All rise for Aaron Judge, just continues to rake
Fifty nine home runs this year is clearly no mistake
He should catch Ruth, Maris, and Sosa, probably not Bonds
Sixteen games left on the year, let’s see how he responds

The Las Vegas Aces, WNBA champs
Took the series 3-1, put Connecticut in clamps
Becky Hammon, rookie coach, didn’t mean a thing
Did what she does best, coached hard, and got herself a ring

Friday Dump: Juan Soto in San Diego

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Photo: ABC30

So, you wanted to mortgage your organization’s future, huh?

Since being traded from the Nationals a month and half ago, Juan Soto’s time in San Diego has been…bad.

No other way to say it. The Padres gave up five players, including major league talent, to acquire Soto. The deal seemed to make sense contractually at the time, as he won’t be a free agent until after the 2024 season. But if things don’t get better in a hurry, it’s going to be a short two years in San Diego that might seem like a lot longer than that.

Just for some context here, Brandon Marsh, a career .247/.301/.370 guy is outperforming Soto in almost every way:

That’s pretty damning…especially the height.

Soto’s only gone deep three times, knocked in seven runs, and lead the Padres to a 18-19 record since the trade.

Don’t want to dump on the guy too much, but one more example of what a dumpster fire this trade has been:

Oof.

I’m sure this eventually will work out and Soto will get back to his old ways. There’s not a chance this will keep going on he’ll regret turning down a 15-year, $400M contract, right?

Nah, no shot.

Sunday State of Mind: September 5th-September 11th

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Photo: Dreamstime

We continue a longstanding tradition here at UDS by dedicating an entire SSM to Week One NFL action.

Big start on Thursday night, Rams and the Bills
Pregame program was legit, full of fluff and frills
The game was in LA, but plenty Bills fans there
Josh Allen and the boys came out and won the game with flair

Sunday start in the dirty, Falcons and the Saints
Start of football season, we have no complaints
Something so familiar, Falcons had an early lead
They coughed it up and lost, almost guaranteed

Browns and the Panthers, Baker revenge bowl
He wanted to win this game with his entire soul
Browns came out and played, got a surprising win
Panthers almost came back, there’s a positive spin

The San Francisco 49ers are used to good weather
The conditions in Chicago, they were different all together
It rained and rained and rained some more, really came down strong
A nice win for the Bears in a season that might be long

Steelers and the Bengals, an AFC North tilt
Bengals came in walking tall, like a man on stilts
Five turnovers for Joe Burrow, not like him at all
Even so, we had OT, but the Bengals did fall

Eagles and the Lions, closer than we expected!
Coming into the day, thought this game would be neglected
Lions got down early, then almost came back
Lot of money on the Eagles, banks almost attacked

Texans and the Colts, folks we have a tie
Same score in regulation, OT, and then the game died
Feels like a win for Houston, Indy can not be psyched
Have to think a blowout win is what they would’ve liked

Patriots and Dolphins, Miami’s brand new look
Mike McDaniel’s offense had Bill Belichick’s D shook
Tua looked OK, Tyreek and Waddle balled
Dolphin fans ecstatic, Pats fans are appalled

Ravens and the Jets, Flacco revenge game
Cool Joe did play pretty well, can’t give him much blame
Lamar Jackson’s on a mission, wants to get that big money
Three touchdowns and Ravens win, L-Jack sweet as honey

Jags and the Commanders, this game just seemed weird
First game for Carson Wentz in DC, brought his big red beard
Jaguars were close to grabbing a week one win
At least until week two for victories to begin

Giants and the Titans, King Henry and Saquon
The Titan bruised along, Giant looked like a swan
Another crazy comeback, as New York did their job
Titans played tough in the first half, but ended like slobs

Cardinals and the Chiefs, and a new look KC
Went to Arizona, first opportunity
To see if they still had it after losing some big stars
Five tuddy’s for Pat Mahomes, he did not go too far

Chargers and the Raiders, matchup in LA
Justin Herbert is a stud, and he was on display
Three touchdowns and no picks, his team is 1-0
Raiders have a nice roster, only upwards to go

Vikings and the Packers, A-Rod needs to some talent
He can’t go out and win himself, they guy’s only so gallant
Story is not about him though, Vikings looked pretty good
Kirk Cousins was really sharp, was he misunderstood?

Buccaneers and Cowboys, Sunday night in Dallas
Jerry Jones must love it when we’re focused on his palace
Tough break for Big Jer, as Tom Brady is still here
TB12 wins again, will for 100 years

An Exhaustive List of Things Better Than the NFL Being Back

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Photo: NFL.com

Bills, Rams, us, our couches…collision course.

What a start to the NFL season. A potential Super Bowl preview on Thursday of week one? Why the hell not?

Everybody’s preseason MVP Josh Allen and Bills Mafia heading west to take on the defending Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams, it doesn’t get any sweeter.

What a hors d’oeuvre for the rest of week one. With an absolute mega beginning to the season, we took the time and research to put together an all-inclusive list of things better than the NFL being officially back.

Please find our list below:

1. Nothing

That’s it, folks.

Enjoy the football.

Sunday State of Mind: August 29th-September 4th

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Photo: Wallpaperup

It’s a special Labor Day edition of SSM! Take a break from the unofficial end of summer and look back at the week that was in sports.

The biggest story of the week, college football is back
Full slate of games during week one, games we did not lack
We’ll dive in more below, but are just glad to see
Tailgates, school bands and football all over our TVs

Weirdest and most on brand game, the Iowa Hawkeyes
Worst offense of the week, they surely won the prize
A final score of 7-3, a close game with no ease
Even stranger, no touchdowns, one field goal two safeties

Biggest matchup of the week, Irish and the Buckeyes
Game was closer than we thought, ND a nice surprise
Ohio State overwhelmed, finally pulled away
Won 21-10, but both teams came to play

Poor Virginia Tech, upset city in week one
Old Dominion hosted them and got the job done
The Hokies may have overlooked and thought it’d be a breeze
The Monarchs took advantage, brought them to their knees

Our final note this week, we saved the best for last
Serena Williams is now done, her career in the past
She lost the US Open, made it to the third round
Even without a tourney win, she still deserves a crown

Aaaaand We’re Off

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We made it.

It’s the first Thursday of college football season, and we’ve got 16(!) games to watch/cherish/bet.

The buffet has plenty of options, with the best options of the night being a B1G Conference matchup between Penn State & Purdue and The Backyard Brawl between Pitt & WVU.

Sure, we had a little appetizer of Northwestern and Nebraska (lol) last week, but this feels a little more real. A legitimate rivalry game and conference game between a historical program and a team who always seems to bring their best in big spots.

Whether it’s Kedon Slovis giving an old fashioned clean rah-rah speech or Purdue’s head coach Jeff Brohm Jeff Brohm’ing, football is back and so is our joy.

So stock your mini-fridge, order the wings, and fine tune those parlays, folks. Welcome back college football.