Praise Whatever Higher Power You Believe In – EA Sports NCAA Football is Back

Our long national nightmare is over, folks.

On Tuesday, EA Sports dropped a bomb on all of us with a Jordan-esque tweet:

This is such a sweet day for all of us who grew up with a Playstation, PS2, Xbox, or Xbox 360 in our adolescent bedrooms who would pop this bad boy in and be entertained for hours. From the Heisman Challenge in the 2013 version, to Vince Young (or QB#10 on Texas, wink wink) being essentially unstoppable, the NCAA Football franchise was a way of life.

Then 2013 came. Denard Robinson was the cover athlete of what would become the last edition of NCAA Football we would get for the foreseeable future. After a class action lawsuit by former NCAA players, production of one of the best sports video game franchises we had was shut down.

To be fair, the case had merit; how would you feel if your likeness was being used for millions of dollars of profit and you weren’t seeing a dime? That’s another conversation for a different day.

But we’ve somehow made it eight long years without a NCAA Football video game. We paid our dues, been patient, and we are finally being rewarded.

Today, we are all Andy Dufresne.

And William Wallace.

And Rocky.

Thank you, EA Sports, for bringing back something that brought so much joy to so many. We look forward to running the option to perfection on our consoles very soon.

Sunday State of Mind: January 25th-January 31st

Photo: wallup.net

If you’re reading this in the midwest, you’re likely experiencing apocalyptic snow. Grab a blanket, stay inside, and enjoy this week’s SSM.

A blockbuster trade in the NFL
A rare sight indeed, a cold day in hell
Jared Goff and Matt Stafford, a quarterback swap
The Rams on their way to the NFC’s hilltop

Another big name on the move this week
Nolan Arenado to Cardinals, Card fans freak
Nolan does have an opt out option after 2021
The NL Central hoping he’s one and done

The Brooklyn Nets have won four in a row
After a slightly slow start, the big three on a roll
They’re scoring 126 points per game during this recent hot streak
Unless you’re Philly or Milwaukee, in the East it looks bleak

Is the NFL Making Decisions Based On Content From Untimed Down Sports?

It’s a question that needs to be asked.

This week, the NFL announced that inaugural poet laureate Amanda Gorman would be performing an original poem before the Super Bowl. According to HuffPost, Gorman will “perform a poem honoring the three people tapped by the league to serve as honorary captains for the Super Bowl this year…[t]he trio consists of nurse Suzie Dorner, educator Trimaine Davis and Marine Corps veteran James Martin.”

Now, no matter which way you lean, it’s hard to downplay how great Ms. Gorman’s poem, and the reading of said poem, was on Inauguration Day. Even if you didn’t like it, our poet laureate has the resumΓ© to shut pretty much any of us down. According to her website, theamandagorman.com, Gorman is the youngest inaugural poet in U.S. history, graduated cum laude from Harvard, and has performed for the White House and Lin Manuel Miranda.

Great move by Commissioner Roger Goodell and the NFL here, incorporating poetry with the sports.

But wait a minute…hasn’t someone else been doing this for a while now? Bringing prose and pros together to spin a story involving athletics is one dynamic idea. Where did the NFL get this idea? That’s right…

FROM US.

Whether you’ve been rocking with UDS from day one or just started checking us out a week ago, you would have noticed our weekly recurring series, Sunday State of Mind. We take the week that was in sports and recap it with truly, truly awful rhyme schemes and wording that would make real poets like Amanda Gorman question the art form of poetry itself. You can read some examples of our exemplary work here, here, and here.

This has nothing to do with Amanda Gorman, who has more talent in per pinky finger than most other writers today. Totally innocent in all of this; who wouldn’t want to perform at the Super Bowl?

All I’m saying is…we’ve been on this sports poetry tip for a while. All of the sudden the NFL comes barging in and totally jocking our schtick by incorporating one of the country’s best poets into the biggest game of the year? I’m calling shenanigans. I see through it, Goodell, and I just want you to know that.

Sunday State of Mind: January 18th-January 24th

Photo: Emiliano Arano on Pexels.com

NFL Championship Sunday is done, and the Super Bowl is set. We recap and look forward to Super Bowl LV in this week’s SSM.

Tampa and Green, the battle of the Bays
Tom Brady just wins in so many ways
Bucs are heading to their second Super Bowl
One more win and they’ll accomplish their goal

The Kansas City Chiefs, what more can you say
Andy Reid heading to another Super Bowl Sunday
In today’s NFL, so hard to repeat
Hard to imagine right now, the Chiefs getting beat

So the big game is set, Tampa Bay and Kansas City
This match up, my God, the opposite of a pity
TB12 and Mahomes, makes a fan feel alive
Only two weeks away from Super Bowl 55

Let’s Meet New Detroit Lions Head Coach Dan Campbell, Shall We?

Photo: Indy Star

On Thursday, the Detroit Lions officially announced the hiring of their new head coach, Dan Campbell. The new leader of the Lions inked a six year deal to become the next man in a long line of coaches attempting to bring the Lions out of proverbial irrelevancy. Campbell is tasked with improving a franchise that hasn’t won their division since 1993, and won their last playoff game a year before that, in 1992.

A tall task indeed, but Campbell may just be crazy enough to get the job done. This man is an absolute character. A total meathead in the most sincere form of the word. Let’s learn a few fun facts about the man, the myth, the legend…Dan Campbell.

He Loves Metallica

Campbell took over for Joe Philbin as the interim coach for the Miami Dolphins in 2015. In one of his first press conferences, “Dantallica” provided some insight on his musical preferences:

“I’m a big country/Metallica fan. That’s kind of who I am…I like classic rock, too, but that was something…I really wanted to see them. So I stayed up and I knew the ticket box was going to be open at 8 and it was probably going to be packed, so I just decided to stay up. Anyway, I got there, I think I was fourth in line. So it worked out.”

Dantallica is a man of passion. That passion might just be enough to get the Lions to the promised land.

His Power Stance is an All-Timer

Raw power.

How anyone could think they could line up against the man responsible for putting out these kind of vibes?

If I were Dan Campbell, my interview strategy would be to come in the room, slap this picture down on the desk, and as whoever I’m talking to how much they’re willing to pay me.

I can only assume this man is keeping this amount of space betwixt his legs for all of the Super Bowl trophies he’s planning on bringing to Detroit.

He is an Supercharged Electric Quote Factory

The entire internet rarely agrees on anything; but we are all in agreement that Dan Campbell won his introductory press conference; a few examples:

“[W]e’re going to kick you in the teeth, all right, and when you punch us back, we’re going to smile at you and when you knock us down, we’re going to get up, and on the way up, we’re going to bite a knee cap off.

“[W]hen you come into Detroit, you’re going to leave beat up. And I’m talking about as a team. I’m not saying we get – the tourists come in. People want to come in.”

Now, hopefully Dantallica meant all of these things metaphorically, as I don’t think these ideas are going to work too well in terms of a game plan when the Lions take the field next season. What I can say, though, is that Detroit seems to have their guy. This is such an insane hire that Detroit may have just struck gold.

Super Bowl LVI is scheduled for February 6, 2022 in Los Angeles….just sayin’.

Sunday State of Mind: January 11th-January 17th

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

NFL Divisional Playoff weekend has come and gone. We’re here to wax poetic about it in this week’s SSM.

First game of the weekend, hosted by Green Bay
The Packers really took it to the Rams of LA
Aaron Rodgers continued his MVP run
The Rams are headed home, back to the California sun

The Bills and Ravens in upstate New York
Buffalo’s in the AFC Championship, pop the cork
The Ravens fall again in the second round
Someday soon Lamar will be Super Bowl bound

The Cleveland Browns had a nice playoff run
But they met the Chiefs, and now they’re done
Patrick Mahomes continues to roll
If he beats the Bills, he’s off to another Super Bowl

Bucs and Saints, Tom Brady again
Went down to New Orleans, came out with a win
Brady vs. Rodgers next week, up in Lambeau
All time QB matchup, who says no?

James Harden Strips Down His Rockets Career, Heads to Brooklyn

Photo: Hypebeast

Ladies and gentlemen…let’s all welcome to the stage, the hottest new talent in Brooklyn, James “The Beard” Hardeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!

It’s about to rain in Brooklyn. The (fish)Nets have brought in a smokin’ hot new entertainer to grace the stage at The Barclays Center. On Tuesday, James Harden went full bare ass, railed the Rockets organization, and has been traded. He will be bringing his wild, some might even say exotic, style of play to Brooklyn moving forward.

No reports have been filed as to how Harden traveled from his old home to his new one. Was it in a mile high plane? Did he run onto a train? Possibly traveled via waterway in a motorboat? No one knows.

Harden has made many, many dollar bills putting a ball through a hole, and has been tipped exceptionally well. His career highlight may have been when he climbed to the top of the pole in the 2018 MVP race. Harden erected himself to the tip top of the league, and looked down at everyone in the crowd who couldn’t take their eyes off of everything he was willing to let us see. The spotlight was on The Beard; he put on a show, and did not disappoint. The MVP became a VIP.

But here we are, in 2021, and the show is over. The club in Houston has shut down, if you will. Harden will no longer own any Houston Rockets jerseys; if that were all he owned before the trade, he would be totally topless. He has turned the other cheek on The Rockets. The Beard will now need to learn a whole new offense, and become abreast of his new Nets teammates.

Here’s hoping this fresh start will spring new life into Harden, and that he opens himself up to his new organization.

Sunday State of Mind: December 14th-December 20th

Photo: Sven Vee on Unsplash

Last Sunday State of Mind before Christmas! Here’s a short, poetic recap of the week that was in this week’s SSM.

Championship Saturday in college football
Ducks, Tide, Tigers, and Buckeyes won ’em all
We’re winding down on what was an interesting year
Time for the college football playoffs, a whole other gear

Speaking of the CFP, the field has been set
It could be a playoff we won’t soon forget
Clemson/Ohio State should be a hell of a game
Alabama should absolutely boat race Notre Dame

Charlie Woods took the golf world by storm
The son of Tiger, not the norm
His gene pool is definitely doing him some favors
The kid looks like he’s on track for 200 majors

What Could Giannis Antetokounmpo Buy With His Newly Signed $228M Supermax Contract?

That’s a lot of cheddar.

On Tuesday, The Milwaukee Bucks announced a contract extension with the cornerstone of their franchise, Giannis Antetokounmpo. The Greek Freak signed a supermax contract for five years and $228M, keeping arguably the best basketball player on the planet in Milwaukee for the foreseeable future.

Antetokounmpo confirmed as much via social media:

A very nice, clean message. What I think Giannis was looking like in real life behind the phone was something similar to this:

Picture: Wallpaper Cave

I don’t know about you, but to me, $228M is a pretty good chunk of change. It got me thinking…what exactly could Giannis buy during his next five years in Milwaukee with all of that coin?

Now, I would never tell another person what to do with their money…but there’s some pretty great stuff Giannis could buy with all of that scratch. Congrats to The Greek Freak on his big payday.

Sunday State of Mind: December 7th-December 13th

A slow week in sports leads to a slow week in content. But here we are, Sunday evening, and we’re going to try and squeeze some life out of the week that was in sports in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Some big changes afoot for Illinois football
Lovie Smith has been fired, his number’s been called
Seventeen wins in five years at the school
That’ll get you fired, and back in the job search pool

Another head coach fired, Auburn’s Guz Malzahn
After a 6-4 season, he’s now Guz Malz-gone
He brought the Tigers to the title game in 2013
But now the curtain has closed, end of scene

The NBA preseason returned this week
It’s still worth watching for basketball geeks
Doesn’t it seem like the offseason was incredibly short?
Everything’s weird and off schedule in this world of sports