Let’s Learn About the Teams in the MLB Playoffs

Photo: MLB.com

October is here, which means playoff baseball.

The MLB Playoffs kick off today, and they usually deliver. Baseball’s still a long season that makes it hard to keep up with, so why don’t we learn a few fun facts about each team?

Los Angeles Dodgers – the NL’s number one seed spent just over twelve trillion dollars on this year’s roster.

New York Yankees – the top dog in the AL is hoping to bring home World Series number 27 for all of the Lakers and Cowboys fans out there.

Philadelphia Phillies – Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni has come out in huge support of the Fightin’ Phils…anything to take the attention off of how bad his team looks so far this season.

Cleveland Guardians – José Ramírez fell one home run short of joining the 40/40 club this season, “he should be sent down to the minors for such a piss poor effort,” said Shohei Ohtani.

Milwaukee Brewers – the Brew Crew is the ultimate scrappy, lower budger franchise you love to root for…except they employed Ryan Braun so we all have to hate them, it’s the law.

Houston Astros – the trash can bangers are back in business baby, don’t let the rule book hit you on the way out.

San Diego Padres – the perfect city with the perfect alternate uniforms. If they don’t wear these at least four times in the playoffs they have no shot.

Baltimore Orioles – the last time the Orioles were in back to back playoffs was in 1996-1997, at which point nine of their current players were not even born.

Atlanta Braves – the exact opposite of the Orioles, the Bravos are in for the seventh straight year. Not sure if this is accurate or not, but scientists note that since the last time the Braves missed the playoffs, the Earth has gone around the Sun seven times. Science is crazy.

Kansas City Royals – if I had a gun to my head and was told to name the Royals manager, I would not be sitting here writing this blog. Matt Quatraro is his name. The skipper never made it to the majors, but was a .286 hitter with 23 home runs and 202 RBI in his minor league career.

New York Mets – The Metropolitans snuck in yesterday after splitting a double header with the Braves. Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Met celebrated appropriately?

Detroit Tigers – I was as surprised as you to see the Tigs on the above bracket, but make no mistake they are a playoff team. Since Javy Báez had season ending surgery on August 26th, they are 21-10…that is simply a true statistic, and not a comment on the fact that as much as we love Javy, he would swing and miss sand if he were at the beach.

We love playoff baseball, and we hope you do to. If you don’t like playoff baseball, then you suck as much as Ryan Braun.

It’s Called Fashion, Look It Up: 2023 NBA “City Edition” Jerseys

Photo: NBA.com

Our fourth annual NBA City Edition Jersey fashion blog is here and it’s spectacular.

One of our favorite traditions since the 2020-2021 season, we dive deep into each jersey and provide the finest fashion commentary on the internet.

Atlanta Hawks – very modern choice going with the Sex and the City opening credit font.

Boston Celtics – groundbreaking to use a different team’s current jersey as your City Editions.

Brooklyn Nets – much like fashion and art, I’m finding it difficult to comprehend Ben Simmons’ modeling mean mug.

Charlotte Hornets – if a team’s going to be boring, at least make their City Edition jerseys exciting.

Chicago Bulls – a lot of empty surface area on the right side, a black hole signifying the current state of the franchise.

Cleveland Cavaliers – if the Cavs had any self awareness, their City Edition jerseys would have Comic Sans as the font every year.

Dallas Mavericks – hopefully Kyrie Irving doesn’t demand a trade before he gets a chance to wear these.

Denver Nuggets – there are more numbers on this jersey than times Nikola Jokić has smiled on a basketball court.
Detroit Pistons – these aren’t the Grant Hills…and therefore are dumb.

Golden State Warriors – the Dubs have always been a progressive franchise, and they continue with this look dedicated to Caitlin Clark.

Houston Rockets – the H in H-Town here stands for habanero because these bad boys are fire.

Indiana Pacers – congratulations to the Pacers for breaking the color barrier; this tweet is exactly what Jackie Robinson fought for.

Los Angeles Clippers – after trading for James Harden, they’re using their City Edition jerseys to try and get Wizards Michael Jordan to also join the squad.

Los Angeles Lakers – always smart to connect with the youth. The Lakers do it perfectly here with their Minecraft Edition jerseys.

Memphis Grizzlies – the lettering here is really cool, almost as uncool as the size six number font.

Miami Heat – they usually win this thing every year, but these are a rare L.

Milwaukee Bucks – anytime you tweet “Electric,” you simply cannot have Kris Middleton as your main feature.

Minnesota Timberwolves – I am as shocked at these jerseys as I am to learn Mike Conley plays is still in the league.

New Orleans Pelicans – I don’t think the Pelicans realized their City Editions were going to be released after spooky season.

New York Knicks – are you dizzy looking at these like I am?

Oklahoma City Thunder – the Jason Richardson Warriors would like a word.

Orlando Magic – the Disney patch always perplexes me…does that company really need to advertise?

Philadelphia 76ers – I’m no advertising expert, but wondering the strategy behind having the MVP cross his arms over the entire design.

Phoenix Suns – the Suns always do City Editions the right way, no change this year.

Portland Trailblazers – this year, “Rip City” stands for the Blazers ripping apart Damian Lillard’s lust for the Miami Heat.

Sacramento Kings – a sad depature from the past few years having “Sac Town” pasted across the chest.

San Antonio Spurs – while these are great, the front of the jersey should’ve just been the Eiffel Tower with Wemby’s face on top.

Toronto Raptors – as of the publishing this blog, the Raptors have not put these jerseys on their socials…and I can understand why.

Utah Jazz – remember when Grimace was taking everything over?

Washington Wizards – tank the season, tank your City Edition jerseys.

Some fun ones, some trash, all fun to talk about. The NBA is back!

The World is Ending: Magic Johnson Had a Hot Take

Photo: CNN

There are reminders everyday that the world’s ending; political unrest, climate change, Elon Musk being a real person.

It’s all around us and it’s blatantly obvious; our world is on fire and we’re just riding the wave until we crash.

Not that we need any more convincing, but we had another overtly apocalyptic event occur Thursday: Magic Johnson had a legitimate hot take.

If you’re unfamiliar with what’s typically running through Magic’s beautiful bald head, it’s generally stuff like this:

Or…

And finally…

I know, pretty deep stuff. But Magic decided to actually say something real on the Zach Gelb show when asked if Steph Curry was the GOAT point guard in NBA history:

Photo: Bleacher Report on Twitter

I could give two shits about any GOAT debate, I think it’s the bane of worthwhile sports conversation’s existence. I’m just happy for Magic showing all of us that he isn’t actually a driod who tweets out what he’s watching and sea salt popcorn.

Sunday State of Mind: May 8th-May 14th

Photo: Wallpapers.com

This Mother’s Day, SSM stands for Sweet, Sweet Moms.

Conference Finals set, NBA winding down
Still a bunch of good games left, so we should not frown
Lakers and the Nuggets, Celtics and the Heat
Next round is the finals, East and West champs set to meet

Weird story in St. Louis, involves their big offseason signing
Moving around positions ’cause the team’s not really shining
Willson Contreras back and forth from the outfield
Cards have not been good so far, reasons seem concealed

This guy Ja Morant, can’t wrap my brain around it
Waving a gun around again, second wave of clown shit
So much for that interview, said he would be better
In dangerous Insta stories, this guy is the pacesetter

Sunday State of Mind: May 1st-May 7th

Photo: Good Fon

NBA Playoffs are raging, NFL court cases are blazing, MLB players are healing. All this and more in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Every series, NBA, looking pretty even
All eight teams remaining still have something to believe in
No 3-0 series leads, every team is on the board
The Larry O’Brien Trophy is what were looking toward

Bussin’ With The Boys? More like bringing law suit noise
Taylor Lewan is suing cause he’s no longer employed
Feel bad for the guy, his career may be cooked
Sounds like Dr. Andrews didn’t take a second look

Speaking of injuries, other side of the stick
Bryce Harper is back in a period quicker than quick
Less than six months post op, the big one Tommy John
Already mashin’ taters, hitting bombs just like a Don

An awkward time is over out in Baltimore
Lamar Jackson wanted his contract, and he finally scored
Two hundred sixty million, is what was settled on
Lamar returning now is a conclusion that’s foregone

We’re Calling Bullshit on the Memphis Grizzlies

Photo: NBA.com

The Memphis Grizzlies just announced that Dillon “The Villain” Brooks will not return to the team “under any circumstances.”

I mean…my God, dramatic much?

Unless you don’t watch the NBA or live on Mars, Brooks certainly had himself an April. After unconscionably shitting on LeBron James, subsequently getting shit on by LeBron in comedically quick fashion, and choosing the route of being a glass house coward and not facing the media, Brooks is out of a job.

It’s hard to remember an organization being so overt in announcing their roster decisions. We as a society of sports fans need to be better at holding our teams accountable.

With that in mind, can we really believe the Memphis Grizzlies wouldn’t bring back Brooks back under ANY circumstance?

If they really needed a big body who knew their system, and the free agency pool and trade market wasn’t flush with opportunities, you’re telling me the Grizz wouldn’t sign him? Hmmm…

What if NBA commissioner Adam Silver made a rule that every team needed a 6’6 Canadian who went to the University of Oregon on their roster? You’re telling me that’s a community flush with NBA talent that the Grizzlies could just pick one of the litter? I don’t know…

It feels like the world’s been on the brink of ending for the last five years or so, right? What if the entire universe crumbled, and all that was left was Memphis, Tennessee? They’ve got to fill that roster somehow, right? Sounds like Brooks would still be available to re-sign in that circumstance.

All I’m saying is…never say never. Dillon Brooks has spent his entire career with the Grizzlies up to this point. To not give this man a proper sendoff and publicly squashing any chance of a reunion just seems mean…also not 100% true.

Sunday State of Mind: April 17th-April 23rd

Photo: UNEP

Unlike Ben Simmons…we’re not sitting this round out. SSM is live.

Bring out the brooms in Philly, Sixers roll the Nets
Beat Brooklyn on Friday to win the series in straight sets
Injuries and suspensions became the big headline
A first round series sweep is the perfect design

The hottest team in baseball, you will never guess
It’s usually a team who by this time’s always a mess
A team who’s name is usually followed by the word “sucks”
It’s the Pittsburgh Pirates, seven game win streak for the Bucs

We shouldn’t give it more attention than it really deserves
But all we have to say about Dillon Brooks is, THE NERVE
Tried to come at LeBron, was thoroughly embarrassed
A poorly failed attempt to gain some ground on The King’s terrace

Sunday State of Mind: April 10th-April 16th

Photo: Wallpaper Mania

Unlike Netflix, we’ll never ghost you on Sundays. SSM is live.

We’re past the play in tournament, the real playoffs are here
The NBA is trying now, and to that we cheer
Sixers came out strong, Lakers and Heat too
Brooklyn and the Cavaliers have some work to do

The bad man’s gone in DC, Commanders fans rejoice
Dan Snyder has sold the team and it was not his choice
Twenty four years of shit, team’s a total mess
Anyone could do it better, and we’ll be impressed

We all shared a dream, and we were on the way
An undefeated baseball season from the Tampa Rays
A cloud rolled in on Friday, a loss was in the air
The Blue Jays won an crushed us all, unable to bear

Doing Some LeBron Math

Photo: CNN

If you don’t have the internet, you may not have heard that LeBron James broke Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s all-time NBA scoring record last night.

An incredible feat of both talent and longevity, Kareem was attendance in the third quarter when LeBron heroically rose above Kenrich Williams and hit a jump shot that put him over the previous record of 38,387 career points.

That’s a lot of points. We wanted to put in perspective what kind of numbers we’re talking about here:

  • Incredibly, after all these points, he’s only won one season scoring title. That’s the same number of times he returned to Cleveland to bring the Cavs a championship.
  • LeBron’s played for three different franchises, the Cavs, Heat, and Lakers. If you divide his total career points (38,390) and divide it by the number of teams he’s played for, you get 12,796…or the same number of teammates LeBron has traded away in his career.
  • LBJ has deservedly made the All-Star game 19 out of his 20 NBA seasons; that’s an astonishing 95% mark…that matches the same percentage of all of us that laughed at the “Maybe It’s Me” tweet he sent last week when the Lakers didn’t go out and grab Kyrie Irving.
  • The King has won four NBA championships in his incredible career. If you multiply his career points by the amount of championships won, you get 153,560…or the same amount of rings he promised to bring to Miami during that introduction party he had with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.

This is obviously a huge accomplishment for LeBron, who has done plenty of dumb stuff to make fun of him about as well as great things to be admired. Times like these where career achievements are met are just the perfect vehicle to make fun of him for it all.

Sunday State of Mind: January 23rd-January 29th

The Super Bowl is set, we all know that. But what else happened in sports this week other than the Eagles and Chiefs advancing? SSM knows, and now you will too.

Streep, Denzel, Robert De Niro, best actors today
A new entry has joined the group, also plays in LA
A small slap of the wrist, felt like a broken arm
LeBron threw a hissy fit, keeps adding to his charm

More NBA antics, a bad repeat offender
Bad boy of the league Steph Curry, big fine money spender
Ejected from the game on Thursday, a disgusting act
Threw his mouthpiece on the ground, we all should feel attacked

Don’t look up to athletes kids, they’ll always let you down
Stetson Bennett had a night, then acted like a clown
A few too many Miller Lites and things can go awry
One month you’re a champion, the next you’re the bad guy

Phil was feeling feisty, on the internet
Cracking jokes between placing million dollar bets
Fashion trends and travel plans were in his stand up set
The internet did their job though, people don’t forget