We were drowning in series-deciding games in the NBA Playoffs this weekend. Eliminations and game sevens were flying everywhere this week, and SSM is here for it.
Got started on Thursday night, Heat and 76ers Joel Embiid came back but could not be Philly’s fixer Jimmy Butler showed up, James Harden disappeared Both teams said things after the game that were kinda weird
For the Memphis Grizzlies, Friday night was it The Warriors are back to being the absolute shit Klay and Steph were back up to their old splash brother ways Going to the conference finals, hitting threes for days
Sunday was a big one, two game sevens on the slate Bucks and the Celtics were the first game on our sports plate This one was at The Garden, and Boston held their ground With the win the Celtics, are now Miami bound
The finale of the weekend, Suns and the Mavs Dallas is full of grown up cows, no more baby calves A tough matchup awaits them, the Warriors are no joke With Luka and J. Brunson, this team is far from broke
Kylie Jenner posted on her Instagram story Monday that her and partner Travis Scott are changing their son’s name. The currently unnamed newborn was born on February 2, 2022, and was named “Wolf” for the first seven weeks of life.
Much like lips, sometimes things come and go; it happens. I’m sure the artist formerly known as Wolf won’t know any difference.
But, the big question that has the nation on edge: what will the new name be?
We’re here to help. Although these badass Kardashian/Jenner women know how to get their fucking asses up and work, we thought we’d provide some assistance if they’re so inclined.
Wade Elux Jenner
Red Bottoms Jenner
Chase Bank Jenner
Tanner Oil Jenner
Ralph Lauren Jenner
Max Credit Jenner
Milo Naire Jenner
Skip TheLine Jenner
Bo Tox Jenner
Whatever these two crazy kids decide on, I’m sure it will be great…and hopefully final.
After saying “g’day mate” to his teammates on the way out of practice, Simmons was subsequently suspended for the team’s opening night matchup against the Pelicans. Woof.
Simmons will now have a some time away from the team. With all of the strange offseason moves in the past few months, what he’ll do with this time, no one knows.
He would presumably have time to enjoy all the Vegemite he desires. Or maybe practice his free throw shooting? How about trying to get back in with the Kardashian family? While his old fling Kendall Jenner is currently with Devin Booker, Simmons has already shown that he follows the “just because there’s a goalie, doesn’t mean you can’t score” mantra in life.
After a tumultuous offseason and a seemingly broken relationship between the 76ers and their point guard, all you can hope for is that this thing doesn’t get any uglier than it already is. If both sides can sit down and talk over some cheesesteak and meat pies, maybe they find some middle ground. Until then, the saga continues.
Reports of SSM’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. Our weekly review of the past seven days in sports is back.
Collin Morikawa, The Open is all yours Second win in eight majors, on his way to more Jordan Spieth gave it a go, but came up just too short Two young guns with bright ass futures, so great for the sport
Bucks are up three games to two, Suns are on their heels The Finals will be over soon, we’ll all be in our feels Devin Booker’s scoring in droves, Chris Paul is up and down Giannis is one win away from dawning his first crown
If it is not one thing, it’s always another Lindor and deGrom, why do the Mets even bother? To say they have bad luck, would be and understatement at the least Even with all the injuries, Mets first in the NL East
Speaking of New York, Yankees what the hell? COVID outbreak last week, six positive players fell Aaron Judge the biggest name, will be out at least 10 days Will miss some time against the Phillies, Red Sox, and the Rays
The NBA is the the best in the big four sports at a lot of things. They by far and away have the best commissioner in Adam Silver, they lead the charge in the “bubble” phenomenon while getting their sport back on track during the pandemic, and have been for the most part the league least afraid to take stands on both social and political issues.
They also are not afraid to get weird with it when it comes to uniforms, which I respect. Don’t get me wrong, I love the traditional uniforms of Alabama football, Yankee baseball, etc. But getting out of your comfort zone is always a good thing, both in uniforms and in life. In recent years, the NBA has begun creating new uniforms for teams, calling them “City Edition” jerseys that are meant to show “team history and unique city stories.” The 2021 versions were fully released today, and boy are they something.
Even though it seems like the NBA season ended last week, it will be back on Christmas Day. Bring on The Association and all of the great, and not so great, “City Edition” jerseys that come with it.