Golden State Warriors

Bronny James’ REAL Scouting Report

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Photo: ESPN & Sportskeeda

The clear cut top NBA Draft prospect, Bronny James, is rightfully turning down pre draft workouts.

For the peasant NBA teams who our next basketball deity doesn’t have time for, we decided to do our good deed for the day and provide his real, legitimate scouting report.

Let’s start with the (un)official measurements: 7 feet, 6 inches, 375 pounds (0.002% body fat), and a 12 foot, 3 inch wingspan. His vertical jump came in at 18 feet, 4 inches, he clocked in his 3/4 court sprint time of 1.2 seconds. Finally, he had to simply stop his bench press test after continually repping out for three hours.

As good of a prospect as he is on the court, Bronny excels even more off of it. He never bricks a shot, instead saving them to aid infrastructure; despite wearing size 28 shoes, his carbon footprint is tiny; and he was (erroneously, in our opinion) the second choice in 2013 when Pope Francis was elected.

Not that anyone needs convincing, but this kid is worth the hype. Whoever is lucky enough to get Bronny James has the inside track at besting the 2016 Warriors 73-9 record not only next season, but for the next 25-35 seasons to come.

It’s Called Fashion, Look It Up: 2023 NBA “City Edition” Jerseys

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Photo: NBA.com

Our fourth annual NBA City Edition Jersey fashion blog is here and it’s spectacular.

One of our favorite traditions since the 2020-2021 season, we dive deep into each jersey and provide the finest fashion commentary on the internet.

Atlanta Hawks – very modern choice going with the Sex and the City opening credit font.

Boston Celtics – groundbreaking to use a different team’s current jersey as your City Editions.

Brooklyn Nets – much like fashion and art, I’m finding it difficult to comprehend Ben Simmons’ modeling mean mug.

Charlotte Hornets – if a team’s going to be boring, at least make their City Edition jerseys exciting.

Chicago Bulls – a lot of empty surface area on the right side, a black hole signifying the current state of the franchise.

Cleveland Cavaliers – if the Cavs had any self awareness, their City Edition jerseys would have Comic Sans as the font every year.

Dallas Mavericks – hopefully Kyrie Irving doesn’t demand a trade before he gets a chance to wear these.

Denver Nuggets – there are more numbers on this jersey than times Nikola Jokić has smiled on a basketball court.
Detroit Pistons – these aren’t the Grant Hills…and therefore are dumb.

Golden State Warriors – the Dubs have always been a progressive franchise, and they continue with this look dedicated to Caitlin Clark.

Houston Rockets – the H in H-Town here stands for habanero because these bad boys are fire.

Indiana Pacers – congratulations to the Pacers for breaking the color barrier; this tweet is exactly what Jackie Robinson fought for.

Los Angeles Clippers – after trading for James Harden, they’re using their City Edition jerseys to try and get Wizards Michael Jordan to also join the squad.

Los Angeles Lakers – always smart to connect with the youth. The Lakers do it perfectly here with their Minecraft Edition jerseys.

Memphis Grizzlies – the lettering here is really cool, almost as uncool as the size six number font.

Miami Heat – they usually win this thing every year, but these are a rare L.

Milwaukee Bucks – anytime you tweet “Electric,” you simply cannot have Kris Middleton as your main feature.

Minnesota Timberwolves – I am as shocked at these jerseys as I am to learn Mike Conley plays is still in the league.

New Orleans Pelicans – I don’t think the Pelicans realized their City Editions were going to be released after spooky season.

New York Knicks – are you dizzy looking at these like I am?

Oklahoma City Thunder – the Jason Richardson Warriors would like a word.

Orlando Magic – the Disney patch always perplexes me…does that company really need to advertise?

Philadelphia 76ers – I’m no advertising expert, but wondering the strategy behind having the MVP cross his arms over the entire design.

Phoenix Suns – the Suns always do City Editions the right way, no change this year.

Portland Trailblazers – this year, “Rip City” stands for the Blazers ripping apart Damian Lillard’s lust for the Miami Heat.

Sacramento Kings – a sad depature from the past few years having “Sac Town” pasted across the chest.

San Antonio Spurs – while these are great, the front of the jersey should’ve just been the Eiffel Tower with Wemby’s face on top.

Toronto Raptors – as of the publishing this blog, the Raptors have not put these jerseys on their socials…and I can understand why.

Utah Jazz – remember when Grimace was taking everything over?

Washington Wizards – tank the season, tank your City Edition jerseys.

Some fun ones, some trash, all fun to talk about. The NBA is back!

The World is Ending: Magic Johnson Had a Hot Take

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Photo: CNN

There are reminders everyday that the world’s ending; political unrest, climate change, Elon Musk being a real person.

It’s all around us and it’s blatantly obvious; our world is on fire and we’re just riding the wave until we crash.

Not that we need any more convincing, but we had another overtly apocalyptic event occur Thursday: Magic Johnson had a legitimate hot take.

If you’re unfamiliar with what’s typically running through Magic’s beautiful bald head, it’s generally stuff like this:

Or…

And finally…

I know, pretty deep stuff. But Magic decided to actually say something real on the Zach Gelb show when asked if Steph Curry was the GOAT point guard in NBA history:

Photo: Bleacher Report on Twitter

I could give two shits about any GOAT debate, I think it’s the bane of worthwhile sports conversation’s existence. I’m just happy for Magic showing all of us that he isn’t actually a driod who tweets out what he’s watching and sea salt popcorn.

Sunday State of Mind: May 1st-May 7th

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Photo: Good Fon

NBA Playoffs are raging, NFL court cases are blazing, MLB players are healing. All this and more in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Every series, NBA, looking pretty even
All eight teams remaining still have something to believe in
No 3-0 series leads, every team is on the board
The Larry O’Brien Trophy is what were looking toward

Bussin’ With The Boys? More like bringing law suit noise
Taylor Lewan is suing cause he’s no longer employed
Feel bad for the guy, his career may be cooked
Sounds like Dr. Andrews didn’t take a second look

Speaking of injuries, other side of the stick
Bryce Harper is back in a period quicker than quick
Less than six months post op, the big one Tommy John
Already mashin’ taters, hitting bombs just like a Don

An awkward time is over out in Baltimore
Lamar Jackson wanted his contract, and he finally scored
Two hundred sixty million, is what was settled on
Lamar returning now is a conclusion that’s foregone

Sunday State of Mind: April 24th-April 30th

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Photo: Wallpapers.com

The week has ended, the sports have sports’d. Sunday State of Mind is here to recap.


The champs are still alive, won another game seven
Steph and Klay both continue to be a gift from heaven
The Kings were fun all year, a young and good fun team
This won’t be the only year that they will light the beam

Some major big man pains, showing in round two
Joel Embiid, Julius Randle both have bad boo boos
Neither one will play in either of their game ones
When they both come back, will help their teams a ton

All the picks are in, the NFL has drafted
A slew of brand new rookies, rosters been recrafted
Only a few surprises, always some feel good stories
Will your team’s boom or bust? The two big categories

Hard to comprehend, a team with that much skill
A double digit losing streak, major fire drill
Something needs to change, think outside the box
A terrible beginning of the year for the White Sox

Sunday State of Mind: January 23rd-January 29th

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Photo: National Parks and Wildlife Service

The Super Bowl is set, we all know that. But what else happened in sports this week other than the Eagles and Chiefs advancing? SSM knows, and now you will too.

Streep, Denzel, Robert De Niro, best actors today
A new entry has joined the group, also plays in LA
A small slap of the wrist, felt like a broken arm
LeBron threw a hissy fit, keeps adding to his charm

More NBA antics, a bad repeat offender
Bad boy of the league Steph Curry, big fine money spender
Ejected from the game on Thursday, a disgusting act
Threw his mouthpiece on the ground, we all should feel attacked

Don’t look up to athletes kids, they’ll always let you down
Stetson Bennett had a night, then acted like a clown
A few too many Miller Lites and things can go awry
One month you’re a champion, the next you’re the bad guy

Phil was feeling feisty, on the internet
Cracking jokes between placing million dollar bets
Fashion trends and travel plans were in his stand up set
The internet did their job though, people don’t forget

Our Third Annual NBA “City Edition” Jersey Analysis

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Photo: NBA.com

It’s that time of year! For the third consecutive season, the fashion department here at UDS has been called upon to make stupid jokes about the latest versions of the NBA “City Edition” jerseys. Let’s get right down to business.

Atlanta Hawks – slick font, but use the peach font you cowards.
Boston Celtics – very cool to hit copy and paste from the Bucks normal uni’s.
Brooklyn Nets – just like last years, using the “Friends” font makes this jersey dumb…but there’s not much the Nets could’ve done that’s worse than what’s going on with that organization right now.
Charlotte Hornets – more like Charlotte Hornys, amirite?

Chicago Bulls – I think the designer for this one forgot the assignment was due at midnight and remembered at 11:53PM.

Cleveland Cavaliers – these jerseys are giving an original Mario level feel; for that reason this one gets a pass.
Dallas Mavericks – another good effort here. Still irrationally angry that a player as great as Luka Dončić wears number 77.
Denver Nuggets – we may have our annual winner of “high school team from a Disney movie” uniforms.
Detroit Pistons – eh, this is an L. Just give us the Grant Hill throwbacks and call it a day.
Golden State Warriors – very cool to dip the bottom of your jerseys in pollen; bumblebees everywhere loving this.
Houston Rockets – same look as last year, same result. These are a winner.
Indiana Pacers – we have enough shortages in this country; the Pacers have now added a thread shortage to the list.
Los Angeles Clippers – uh…these are at least the best uniforms in LA.
Los Angeles Lakers – there needs to be a federal investigation into why the Lakers keep trying to incorporate black into their uniforms.
Memphis Grizzlies – very lazy to copy the Vlade Divac/Peja Stojaković era Kings uniforms.
Miami Heat – these are pretty similar to last year, but Miami wins this race every year and they’re right up there again.
Milwaukee Bucks – these are a mix of last year’s uniforms and the Kevin Garnett era Timberwolves…yucky.
Minnesota Timberwolves – speaking of the T’wolves…these are like the rough draft of the Nets uni’s.
New Orleans Pelicans – these are fine…would be way better if there were sewed on beads across the front.
Oklahoma City Thunder – this poor organization has never done this well; so not much to expect here. Much like the Pistons, they should just do the Supersonics uniforms.
Orlando Magic – while these aren’t a huge jump from their normal ‘fits, the fact that they didn’t incorporate orange this year like they have in the past is a win.
Philadelphia 76ers – as good as these are, the fact that they’re sponsored by a crypto website make these super sus.
Phoenix Suns – the Suns have nailed these in the past; but I think the Spurs have a case for copyright infringement with these bad boys.
Portland Trailblazers – these are like the away jerseys of the Suns jerseys, and should be included in the Spurs lawsuit. Big year for teal in the NBA.
Sacramento Kings – these are the “high school team from a Disney movie” runner ups, boring.
San Antonio Spurs – exhibit A in the aforementioned legal action suggested in this blog. These are the winners.
Toronto Raptors – so the Bulls designer also worked with the Raptors? Got it.
Washington Wizards – some very flowy flowers heavily featured here…can we start the Wizards to Hawaii rumors?

Wow…another year, another set of middle-of-the-road uniforms with even worse jokes to go with them. Thanks for the opportunity to create content, NBA.

Sunday State of Mind: May 13th-June 19th

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Photo: Nature & Garden

It’s a special Juneteenth and Father’s Day edition of SSM.

Only one place to start, and that’s out in The Bay
The Warriors are champions again as of Thursday
Steph Curry was the MVP, a well earned award
The stupid “No Steph with KD” talk can now be ignored

The Colorado Avalanche are the perfect name
The Lightning are the target, and they’ve got perfect aim
Up 2-0 in the series, looking absolutely tough
Only two wins away from hoisting Lord Stanley’s Cup

The Atlanta Braves, 14-game winning streak
Weekend series in Chicago, Cubbies looking bleak
Baseball did the baseball thing, Cubs won the series
After losing 10 in a row, beat Atlanta two of three

Sunday State of Mind: May 6th-June 12th

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Photo: Farmer’s Almanac

Guess who’s back? SSM, that’s who.

We’ve got our first pink slip handed out in MLB
The Angles fired Joe Maddon during a losing spree
The Halos started strong this year, formerly first place
Twelve straight losses gets you canned, an unfortunate case

Another manager made waves, and not the calming kind
Tony La Russa made a move and seemed to lose his mind
Gave Trea Turner a free base, the count was 1-2
Any way you look at it, that call really blew

The NBA Finals are tight, all tied at two a piece
Both teams are two wins away from making the series cease
Steph Curry’s a monster, but we all knew that
He’s all the Warriors have, rest of the team’s been flat

The battle for Lord Stanley is now set in stone
Lightning and the Avalanche for the hockey throne
Tampa Bay will go for their third straight championship
Colorado’s young, could be champs in their first trip

Sunday State of Mind: May 30th-June 5th

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Photo: Wallpaper Boat

The weather has turned as we are past the unofficial opening of summer. The beautiful forecast calls for some beautiful sports poetry.

The NBA Finals, Boston and The Bay
Warriors and Celtics are here to play
Al Horford and the boys took game one on the road
If they win again tonight Draymond might explode

Capital One’s The Match, the QB edition
Four of our top quarterbacks in the competition
Brady, Rodgers, Patty, Josh, young guns verse the old
ARod and TB12 took it to them for the gold

Baseball staying relevant, thanks to the NFL
Tommy Pham’s a wildcard, we’re saying “what the hell?”
Who hasn’t wanted to slap a fellow league member
Fantasy football means a lot, Tommy’s got a temper

Avalanche and Rangers, not a lot of spoilers
Both looking for a sweep against the Lightning and the Oilers
Only a few shots left for Tampa and Edmonton
If they don’t get it in gear both squads will soon be done