Miami Heat

It’s Called Fashion, Look It Up: 2023 NBA “City Edition” Jerseys

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Photo: NBA.com

Our fourth annual NBA City Edition Jersey fashion blog is here and it’s spectacular.

One of our favorite traditions since the 2020-2021 season, we dive deep into each jersey and provide the finest fashion commentary on the internet.

Atlanta Hawks – very modern choice going with the Sex and the City opening credit font.

Boston Celtics – groundbreaking to use a different team’s current jersey as your City Editions.

Brooklyn Nets – much like fashion and art, I’m finding it difficult to comprehend Ben Simmons’ modeling mean mug.

Charlotte Hornets – if a team’s going to be boring, at least make their City Edition jerseys exciting.

Chicago Bulls – a lot of empty surface area on the right side, a black hole signifying the current state of the franchise.

Cleveland Cavaliers – if the Cavs had any self awareness, their City Edition jerseys would have Comic Sans as the font every year.

Dallas Mavericks – hopefully Kyrie Irving doesn’t demand a trade before he gets a chance to wear these.

Denver Nuggets – there are more numbers on this jersey than times Nikola Jokić has smiled on a basketball court.
Detroit Pistons – these aren’t the Grant Hills…and therefore are dumb.

Golden State Warriors – the Dubs have always been a progressive franchise, and they continue with this look dedicated to Caitlin Clark.

Houston Rockets – the H in H-Town here stands for habanero because these bad boys are fire.

Indiana Pacers – congratulations to the Pacers for breaking the color barrier; this tweet is exactly what Jackie Robinson fought for.

Los Angeles Clippers – after trading for James Harden, they’re using their City Edition jerseys to try and get Wizards Michael Jordan to also join the squad.

Los Angeles Lakers – always smart to connect with the youth. The Lakers do it perfectly here with their Minecraft Edition jerseys.

Memphis Grizzlies – the lettering here is really cool, almost as uncool as the size six number font.

Miami Heat – they usually win this thing every year, but these are a rare L.

Milwaukee Bucks – anytime you tweet “Electric,” you simply cannot have Kris Middleton as your main feature.

Minnesota Timberwolves – I am as shocked at these jerseys as I am to learn Mike Conley plays is still in the league.

New Orleans Pelicans – I don’t think the Pelicans realized their City Editions were going to be released after spooky season.

New York Knicks – are you dizzy looking at these like I am?

Oklahoma City Thunder – the Jason Richardson Warriors would like a word.

Orlando Magic – the Disney patch always perplexes me…does that company really need to advertise?

Philadelphia 76ers – I’m no advertising expert, but wondering the strategy behind having the MVP cross his arms over the entire design.

Phoenix Suns – the Suns always do City Editions the right way, no change this year.

Portland Trailblazers – this year, “Rip City” stands for the Blazers ripping apart Damian Lillard’s lust for the Miami Heat.

Sacramento Kings – a sad depature from the past few years having “Sac Town” pasted across the chest.

San Antonio Spurs – while these are great, the front of the jersey should’ve just been the Eiffel Tower with Wemby’s face on top.

Toronto Raptors – as of the publishing this blog, the Raptors have not put these jerseys on their socials…and I can understand why.

Utah Jazz – remember when Grimace was taking everything over?

Washington Wizards – tank the season, tank your City Edition jerseys.

Some fun ones, some trash, all fun to talk about. The NBA is back!

Blink-182: I Miss You (Jimmy’s Version)

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment


Photo: Heat Nation & IMDB

For an immersive experience, please click here if on a laptop or turn on Blink-182’s I Miss You on Spotify before you begin reading.

Hello, there
Dame Lillard’s now my nightmare
The Herro that I play now with is forced
I wish I could evict him
But for now we will rally
Media day we dilly dally ’cause we want
I’m still selling my coffee
Do we play Halloween or Christmas?
Before the Finals, season probably ends
Our season probably ends

I miss Strus, I miss Strus
I miss Strus, I miss Strus

Team’s askew
And I’m so sorry
I hit threes deep, carry my team tonight
I need UD and PJ
This mid range darkness
Comes creeping on, still wanting some Dame Time
And as I stare, I counted
The Woj Bomb overnighters
Chasing rings and Instagram replies
Hoping our team is not screwed
Have a surprising season
Will two come home, help us stop Dame tonight?
Help us stop Dame tonight

Don’t waste your time Himmy, you’re already
The pressed hair on your head (I miss Strus, I miss Strus)
Don’t waste your time Himmy, you’re already
The pressed hair on your head (I miss Strus, I miss Strus)

I miss Strus, I miss Strus
I miss Strus, I miss Strus

Don’t waste your time Himmy, you’re already
The pressed hair on your head (I miss Strus, I miss Strus)
Don’t waste your time Himmy, you’re already
The pressed hair on your head (I miss Strus, I miss Strus)
Don’t waste your time Himmy, you’re already
The pressed hair on your head (I miss Strus, I miss Strus)
Don’t waste your time Himmy, you’re already
The pressed hair on your head (I miss Strus, I miss Strus)

Sunday State of Mind: June 5th-June 11th

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Wallpaper Cave

The sports sure sported this week; SSM is here to recap.

Tough time down in Florida, on the biggest stage
Finals and The Stanley Cup, fans are full of rage
Panthers and the Heat, both down three games to one
Elimination likely coming soon, both seasons soon done

LIV and PGA, now the best of friends
As the story goes, money always transcends
Now partners in crime, golf has fully changed
Most players want Jay Monahan’s face rearranged

Four straight Pro Bowl seasons, racking yards and touchdowns
He made Vikes fans happy, did his part to decrease frowns
But now he’s a free agent, he’s got his choice of teams
Whoever signs Dalvin Cook will feel like it’s a dream

Have to say this while we can, The Oakland A’s are hot!
Four wins in a row this week, for them that’s a lot
A sad season in progress, good to get some shine
Since they won those four, likely to lose next nine

Sunday State of Mind: May 22nd-May 28th

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Wallpaper Access

A special Memorial Day and Indy 500 edition of SSM is now live.

Eastern Conference Finals, what is going on?
Jimmy Butler and the Heat were all but good and gone
Lost the first three, won the rest, the series is tied
Whoever wins game seven, been a real fun ride

The rare football transaction, in the month of May
DeAndre Hopkins and the Cardinals will be parting ways
Three years in the desert, still some catches in those hands
Will be very interesting to see where he lands

As mentioned above, the Indy 500 was today
Josef Newgarden is the champ, will take home the pay
The 32 year old from Nashville is kissing the bricks
If he wins it five more times, his total would be six

Sunday State of Mind: May 8th-May 14th

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Wallpapers.com

This Mother’s Day, SSM stands for Sweet, Sweet Moms.

Conference Finals set, NBA winding down
Still a bunch of good games left, so we should not frown
Lakers and the Nuggets, Celtics and the Heat
Next round is the finals, East and West champs set to meet

Weird story in St. Louis, involves their big offseason signing
Moving around positions ’cause the team’s not really shining
Willson Contreras back and forth from the outfield
Cards have not been good so far, reasons seem concealed

This guy Ja Morant, can’t wrap my brain around it
Waving a gun around again, second wave of clown shit
So much for that interview, said he would be better
In dangerous Insta stories, this guy is the pacesetter

Sunday State of Mind: May 1st-May 7th

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Good Fon

NBA Playoffs are raging, NFL court cases are blazing, MLB players are healing. All this and more in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Every series, NBA, looking pretty even
All eight teams remaining still have something to believe in
No 3-0 series leads, every team is on the board
The Larry O’Brien Trophy is what were looking toward

Bussin’ With The Boys? More like bringing law suit noise
Taylor Lewan is suing cause he’s no longer employed
Feel bad for the guy, his career may be cooked
Sounds like Dr. Andrews didn’t take a second look

Speaking of injuries, other side of the stick
Bryce Harper is back in a period quicker than quick
Less than six months post op, the big one Tommy John
Already mashin’ taters, hitting bombs just like a Don

An awkward time is over out in Baltimore
Lamar Jackson wanted his contract, and he finally scored
Two hundred sixty million, is what was settled on
Lamar returning now is a conclusion that’s foregone

Sunday State of Mind: April 10th-April 16th

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Wallpaper Mania

Unlike Netflix, we’ll never ghost you on Sundays. SSM is live.

We’re past the play in tournament, the real playoffs are here
The NBA is trying now, and to that we cheer
Sixers came out strong, Lakers and Heat too
Brooklyn and the Cavaliers have some work to do

The bad man’s gone in DC, Commanders fans rejoice
Dan Snyder has sold the team and it was not his choice
Twenty four years of shit, team’s a total mess
Anyone could do it better, and we’ll be impressed

We all shared a dream, and we were on the way
An undefeated baseball season from the Tampa Rays
A cloud rolled in on Friday, a loss was in the air
The Blue Jays won an crushed us all, unable to bear

Police Officer Wins One Billion Dollar Wager

Chris Cook, , , , Leave a comment

Photo: Hales Photo

Officer Shaq reporting for payment.

On Tuesday night, TNT’s Inside the NBA, the best pregame show in sports, hosted a retired police officer for a segment. In the lead up to the Hawks vs. Heat game, the always outspoken Charles Barkley let his mouth write a check his round mound might not be able to cash:

Not a whole lot of information about the recipient of the Chuck’s billion, but it appears he had career stops in Orlando, Los Angeles, Miami, Phoenix, Cleveland, and Boston. He seemed to have been pretty good at his job; a very overpowering force who had acquired a slew of fun nicknames during his service time.

You always love to see when someone who has made so much money in his career be so willing to give back. Another reason we all love Charles. What a kind, kind gesture to be so free with his hard earned income.

Doing Some LeBron Math

Chris Cook, , , , , , , Leave a comment

Photo: CNN

If you don’t have the internet, you may not have heard that LeBron James broke Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s all-time NBA scoring record last night.

An incredible feat of both talent and longevity, Kareem was attendance in the third quarter when LeBron heroically rose above Kenrich Williams and hit a jump shot that put him over the previous record of 38,387 career points.

That’s a lot of points. We wanted to put in perspective what kind of numbers we’re talking about here:

  • Incredibly, after all these points, he’s only won one season scoring title. That’s the same number of times he returned to Cleveland to bring the Cavs a championship.
  • LeBron’s played for three different franchises, the Cavs, Heat, and Lakers. If you divide his total career points (38,390) and divide it by the number of teams he’s played for, you get 12,796…or the same number of teammates LeBron has traded away in his career.
  • LBJ has deservedly made the All-Star game 19 out of his 20 NBA seasons; that’s an astonishing 95% mark…that matches the same percentage of all of us that laughed at the “Maybe It’s Me” tweet he sent last week when the Lakers didn’t go out and grab Kyrie Irving.
  • The King has won four NBA championships in his incredible career. If you multiply his career points by the amount of championships won, you get 153,560…or the same amount of rings he promised to bring to Miami during that introduction party he had with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.

This is obviously a huge accomplishment for LeBron, who has done plenty of dumb stuff to make fun of him about as well as great things to be admired. Times like these where career achievements are met are just the perfect vehicle to make fun of him for it all.

Our Third Annual NBA “City Edition” Jersey Analysis

Chris Cook, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

Photo: NBA.com

It’s that time of year! For the third consecutive season, the fashion department here at UDS has been called upon to make stupid jokes about the latest versions of the NBA “City Edition” jerseys. Let’s get right down to business.

Atlanta Hawks – slick font, but use the peach font you cowards.
Boston Celtics – very cool to hit copy and paste from the Bucks normal uni’s.
Brooklyn Nets – just like last years, using the “Friends” font makes this jersey dumb…but there’s not much the Nets could’ve done that’s worse than what’s going on with that organization right now.
Charlotte Hornets – more like Charlotte Hornys, amirite?

Chicago Bulls – I think the designer for this one forgot the assignment was due at midnight and remembered at 11:53PM.

Cleveland Cavaliers – these jerseys are giving an original Mario level feel; for that reason this one gets a pass.
Dallas Mavericks – another good effort here. Still irrationally angry that a player as great as Luka Dončić wears number 77.
Denver Nuggets – we may have our annual winner of “high school team from a Disney movie” uniforms.
Detroit Pistons – eh, this is an L. Just give us the Grant Hill throwbacks and call it a day.
Golden State Warriors – very cool to dip the bottom of your jerseys in pollen; bumblebees everywhere loving this.
Houston Rockets – same look as last year, same result. These are a winner.
Indiana Pacers – we have enough shortages in this country; the Pacers have now added a thread shortage to the list.
Los Angeles Clippers – uh…these are at least the best uniforms in LA.
Los Angeles Lakers – there needs to be a federal investigation into why the Lakers keep trying to incorporate black into their uniforms.
Memphis Grizzlies – very lazy to copy the Vlade Divac/Peja Stojaković era Kings uniforms.
Miami Heat – these are pretty similar to last year, but Miami wins this race every year and they’re right up there again.
Milwaukee Bucks – these are a mix of last year’s uniforms and the Kevin Garnett era Timberwolves…yucky.
Minnesota Timberwolves – speaking of the T’wolves…these are like the rough draft of the Nets uni’s.
New Orleans Pelicans – these are fine…would be way better if there were sewed on beads across the front.
Oklahoma City Thunder – this poor organization has never done this well; so not much to expect here. Much like the Pistons, they should just do the Supersonics uniforms.
Orlando Magic – while these aren’t a huge jump from their normal ‘fits, the fact that they didn’t incorporate orange this year like they have in the past is a win.
Philadelphia 76ers – as good as these are, the fact that they’re sponsored by a crypto website make these super sus.
Phoenix Suns – the Suns have nailed these in the past; but I think the Spurs have a case for copyright infringement with these bad boys.
Portland Trailblazers – these are like the away jerseys of the Suns jerseys, and should be included in the Spurs lawsuit. Big year for teal in the NBA.
Sacramento Kings – these are the “high school team from a Disney movie” runner ups, boring.
San Antonio Spurs – exhibit A in the aforementioned legal action suggested in this blog. These are the winners.
Toronto Raptors – so the Bulls designer also worked with the Raptors? Got it.
Washington Wizards – some very flowy flowers heavily featured here…can we start the Wizards to Hawaii rumors?

Wow…another year, another set of middle-of-the-road uniforms with even worse jokes to go with them. Thanks for the opportunity to create content, NBA.