Baker Mayfield had himself a day Four touchdowns, 334 yards, to the Titans’ dismay The Browns moved to 9-3 on the year Once in a blue moon the Dawg Pound can cheer
A few big name changes, on Chicago’s North Side Kyle Schwarber is gone, and Len Kasper has gone for a ride To The White Sox radio both, Cubs fans were surprised What’s going on with the Cubs? It’s hard to surmise
A big name trade in the NBA John Wall for Russell Westbrook, what the hey?! A few bad contracts, who both wanted to change teams This trade will only change things in Wizards & Rockets fan’s dreams
Alabama football rolled their rival LSU The Crimson Tide won by 38, Tigers didn’t have a clue In this weird COVID season, one thing remains the same Alabama is good, and they’ll probably win every game
The NBA is the the best in the big four sports at a lot of things. They by far and away have the best commissioner in Adam Silver, they lead the charge in the “bubble” phenomenon while getting their sport back on track during the pandemic, and have been for the most part the league least afraid to take stands on both social and political issues.
They also are not afraid to get weird with it when it comes to uniforms, which I respect. Don’t get me wrong, I love the traditional uniforms of Alabama football, Yankee baseball, etc. But getting out of your comfort zone is always a good thing, both in uniforms and in life. In recent years, the NBA has begun creating new uniforms for teams, calling them “City Edition” jerseys that are meant to show “team history and unique city stories.” The 2021 versions were fully released today, and boy are they something.
Atlanta Hawks – while the MLK tribute is awesome, this looks like a jersey from a low budget, late 90’s Disney movie about a team full of scrubs who pulled out all of the right tricks, and had juuuust the right amount of luck to upset the far superiorly talented rivals from across town.
Boston Celtics – an ode to the 17 championship banners hanging in TD Garden, this jersey is the aforementioned far superiorly talented rivals from across town that the Atlanta Hawks beat in the low budget late 90’s Disney movie.
Chicago Bulls – the Bulls slogan is “Touch the Clouds,” which is ironic because they haven’t touched anywhere higher than eighth place in the Eastern Conference in the past five years.
Dallas Mavericks – hard to find much wrong with these, besides the fact that one of the NBA’s best players, Luka Dončić, wears number 77. Get the hell out of here and give the man a real number.
Detroit Pistons – very fitting slogan here, “Tough Together,” Pistons fans have had to watch some tough looking basketball together for the last decade or so.
Golden State Warriors – hard to argue with this one, paying tribute to Oakland after moving into their new arena in San Francisco. Like most things The Warriors have done since they drafted Steph Curry, this was done right.
Los Angeles Clippers – these are pretty much identical to the Clippers 2019-2020 “City Edition” jerseys, so bonus points for fresh creativity. Bonus points for making me want to play Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas when I see the font.
Memphis Grizzlies – these are solid, but I wish they would’ve just went for it with the old Vancouver Grizzlies uniforms, which are just gorgeous and remind me of another one of my favorite old players, Bryant “Big Country” Reeves.
Miami Heat – this is the perfect city/team for something like “City Edition” jerseys. Miami can do anything with any neon pink, blue, orange, etc. and make it look great. A very solid, wavy effort here.
Milwaukee Bucks – does anyone really associate Milwaukee with the Great Lakes? I don’t, but can only assume this is what Giannis Antetokounmpo wanted, and The Bucks continue to do whatever they can to keep him happy and in Milwaukee.
Minnesota Timberwolves – this is just generally boring. Also the slogan “The North Star That Guides & Unites” is pretty great for a organization that has seemingly no direction at this point.
New Orleans Pelicans – an ambitious stab here, although I think it came out looking more like what I would have came up with for uniforms of my “Create A Team” in NBA Live 2002. You know, the one with Steve Francis on the cover.
Orlando Magic – Orlando has messed around with incorporating orange into their uniforms in last years “City Edition,” and I just don’t get it. They have a great color scheme, and should use it here.
Sacramento Kings – I can see thousands of bros at Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza rocking these bad boys solely because is has “sac” on it, which is approval enough for me.
San Antonio Spurs – very smooth. Slick font, crisp lines across the chest. I’m all in here.
ROAM THE NORTH@Raptors City Edition jerseys are launching in March 2021. Shop the rest of the Raptors City Edition Collection today ➡️ https://t.co/NyoY8DuBlr
🗓️ NBA Season Starts Christmas Week with Games Beginning Tuesday, December 22. pic.twitter.com/f5iIlW1NSy
Toronto Raptors – from a team that’s going to be playing in Tampa Bay next year, missed opportunity to double up on your sales by throwing “Tampa Bay” and “Toronto” across the chest. Those friendly Canadians are too nice to make people pay twice though, eh?
Washington Wizards – ending our recap here with a banger. These are great, from the throwback logo to the flag pattern moving down the sides. This is the best thing the Wizards franchise has done in a while.
Even though it seems like the NBA season ended last week, it will be back on Christmas Day. Bring on The Association and all of the great, and not so great, “City Edition” jerseys that come with it.
We are back with another addition of AHN, and this time we are diving deep into the cringe.
Nickleback is the most hated band in history. We’re not the only ones saying this, it’s scientifically proven. The band hails from Hanna, Alberta, Canada, and (unfortunately) came on the scene with their first hit, “How You Remind Me” in 2001. Since then, it has been a continued decline for lead singer Chad Kroeger and his Ed Hardy-wearing group of rockers.
The band has come out with songs for years that have been consistently panned. From such classics as “Someday” (2003) to “Rockstar” (2005), Nickleback has continued to assault our eardrums for the past two decades. They’ve somehow accrued incredible commercial success, however. According to officialcharts.com, their singles have spent a combined 28 weeks in the Top 10, 83 weeks in the top 40, and 144 weeks in the top 100 on the US charts; thus proving that there are people out there who will listen to anything.
Today, we’re focusing on the hit “Photograph” off of the band’s 2005 album “All The Right Reasons.” This was another song in the never ending product line of Nickleback offerings that all sound pretty similar. This timeless piece gives us Chad (such a perfect name for this band’s leader, by the way) looking back on his hometown of Hanna, and shows us the roots of the man who would become a rock God for dudes who drink Mountain Dew and wear white-rimmed sunglasses.
Music Video
The music video for “Photograph” is…something. It starts with Chad forcing us to, indeed, “look at this photograph,” really hitting us over the head here. Around the 40 second mark, Chad and the boys take their purposefully-ripped jeans and graphic tees to the old gym at Hanna High to start shredding in the way only Nickleback can. We get some canned b-roll of a typical, rural town with dirt roads, a junk yard (for some reason?), and train tracks with overgrown weeds.
Around the three minute mark, we start to get introduced to some of the Hanna locals, and it’s exactly what you would expect from a relentlessly bland group like Nickleback. Tucked in plaid shirts, jeans worn out from years of blue-collar work, and even a few Karens for some razzle dazzle at the 3:06 mark. Other than that, we get some random video of a softball game, but otherwise just continued pounding of the small town feel of Nickleback’s hometown.
Best Lyric
I miss that town I miss their faces You can’t erase You can’t replace it
Whew…this was a treasure hunt. Trying to find a “best lyric” in a Nickleback song is like trying to find a good steak at a McDonald’s. It seems like this might be as nice and normal as Nickleback lyrics can actually get, which I guess is something. There’s honestly not much to analyze here, simply because like most of their lyrics, it’s so brain-numbingly dull that I can’t pull one interesting thought out of it.
This is as good as it’s going to get, folks.
Worst Lyric
Remember the old arcade Blew every dollar that we ever made The cops hated us hangin’ out They say somebody went and burned it down
…what?!
What a roller coaster of garbage we’re riding here. So, the cops hated patrons at the arcade? Why? I can only assume it was Chad and the boys’ fault. I can imagine, despite spending “every dollar” they ever made, they still tried to steal prizes, bled the place dry of Mountain Dew and beef jerky, and asked for free tokens when they ran out of money.
Also, we’re just throwing out the fact that someone burned down the poor arcade, and just moving right along with our lives? That’s someone’s business, their income, their life. These thoughtless miscreants couldn’t care less about their old local hangout burning to the ground. Deplorable.
Rating
Reviewing a Nickleback song, let alone “Photograph,” was quite the masochistic process, and I’m not sure why it was done. You can’t have sunshine without the rain, as they say. As one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard, you almost have to respect Nickleback’s hustle for just continuously putting out shit that they know is going to be made fun of forever. Those steadfast Canadian rockers refuse to quit giving all of us songs we don’t want, don’t need, and will never like. Having said all of that, it still isn’t going to improve my rating.
We took some time to give thanks this week, and ignored the blog while doing so. But we’re back, and ready to review what we missed in the past seven days in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
The Match3 went down, teeing off on Friday Phil, Chuck, Peyton, and Steph were excited to play In a big upset, Charles Barkley played well Chuck and Phil won 4 & 3, Peyton and Steph fell
Some more random sports, Mike Tyson is back! He fought Roy Jones Jr., but the excitement lacked It wasn’t a full match, only an exhibition spar The “fight” was a draw, and was as slow as tar
Moving on to real sports, college basketball A little behind schedule, still started in late fall It’s great to see action back on the hardwood A small step towards things feeling more like they should
Hate to beat a dead horse, but COVID’s still here Ravished the Ravens, a realized fear The MVP Lamar Jackson had a positive test Ravens/Steelers delayed six days, not the best
A NBA specific SSM this week! We celebrate the start of free agency in the only way we know how…shitty sports poetry.
Your defending champion Los Angeles Lakers Have not been free agency givers, but free agency takers Montrezl Harrell, Denis Schroeder, and Wes Matthews too The Lake Show roster will be stacked with players old and new
The Washington Wizards, a continuous mess Robin Lopez signed, that’s good I guess? There were rumors of a John Wall for Russell Westbrook trade Sad state of affairs if that’s the best move that can be made
Danilo Gallinari and Rajon Rondo both signed with Atlanta Some serious veteran presence, both good moves, duh The Hawks pair their new signings with a solid core Make no mistake, this team is going to score
Very strange signing in the city of Charlotte Gordon Hayward wanted a payday, and the Hornets bit An injury-prone veteran got $120 million over four years If I discovered this signing as a Hornets fan, I’d be in tears
This morning, news broke that Theo Epstein would be stepping down as President of Baseball Operations for the Chicago Cubs, effective immediately. Epstein joined the Cubs in October 2011, and completely transformed an organization known for being long time losers into consistent post season appearances, success, and of course, World Series champions.
Epstein noted in his press conference this afternoon that the original plan was to transition out of his position in October 2021. However, with important roster and organizational decisions coming this offseason, he believed it best that those who would be with the Cubs longer-term should be making those decisions.
The now former President of Baseball Operations has always maintained that 10 years is about the maximum he would ever stay at job, and he is holding true to his word. In his presser this afternoon, he noted there was “no sense of burnout. I enjoy building, transformation, and accomplishing. Maybe I’m not as great at maintenance. After a while, I need a new challenge, and with the Cubs in a state of change with the roster, it felt like the right time.”
This sucks. Epstein has been the face of the Cubs for the past nine years. His list of accomplishments and the stories that have come out of his tenure is as impressive as it is long. I watched the press conference this morning, and wanted to outline some of the best moments and quotes.
When asked about his overall feelings about his time with the Cubs: “A life changing experience, the best part being the relationships and connections I’ve made along the way.” Epstein continued “Our goals were to build a foundation of sustained success and build a team that would win a World Series for the Chicago Cubs. It was not perfect, but we did it.”
Describing Cubs fans: “The depth of the connection with the fans, how intimate and easily shared…is really is different here, thanks to [the fans]. Right as we started to turn the corner, walking home from a game, I could ease drop on conversations that were so optimistic, it was such a special time. The lines between fans, team, and front office members were blurred. We all knew what was going to happen before it did.”
On the 2016 World Series victory:“Such a privilege to run into strangers and hear what the World Series meant to them.”
Jed Hoyer, current Cubs General Manger, will take over as the new President of Baseball Operations. Hoyer joined the Cubs with Theo initially as GM, and has more than earned this promotion. Epstein believes he is leaving the Cubs in incredibly able hands: “[Hoyer] ensures great continuity, and is also realistic in ways we need to change and get better” he said.
Additionally, Theo ensured Cubs fans that Hoyer “does not need me over his shoulder…he is ready, willing, and able.” He supported his claim by giving an anecdote on the now famous trade with the Baltimore Orioles that brought a struggling Jake Arrieta to the North Side, and as we now all know, to the MLB Awards stage as the 2015 Cy Young Award winner. Epstein said that Hoyer kept “banging the table” for an additional throw in on the trade, saying that the throw in must be included in the trade or the Cubs would walk away from the trading table. That throw in at the time, was a relief pitcher with a woeful career 4.82 ERA and 1.48 WHIP. That “meaningless” throw in was named Pedro Stop, who like Arrieta, resureccted his career in Chicago to become one of the best relief pitchers in team history.
This, and many other reasons, has Epstein feeling confident that the Cubs are in great long term shape as he proceeds with a peaceful transfer of power. Epstein noted that while he anticipates he will eventually return to baseball, for now, he and his family will continue to live in Chicago, and be Cubs season ticket holders moving moving forward. He noted that now he can enjoy the bleacher bum experience, and when he does, “it will feel like home.”
While this is a sad day, I also cannot help but feel happy. This nine-year stretch has been the best in Cubs history, and I feel lucky to have been able to see it from the foundation to the peak of baseball. Thank you, Theo Epstein, for putting all that you did into the organization for as long as you did, and bringing Cubs fans like me success that we only dreamt of before you came to Chicago.
Another weekend come and gone…let’s reflect on the week that was in this weeks SSM.
The Miami Marlins, shattering the ceiling The team has hired the first female GM, an absolute awesome feeling Kim Ng has been hired to run the show for the Marlins Here’s hoping it all goes well, and she leads the team to many wins
The 2020 Masters was as always a treat Dustin Johnson, simply could not be beat Yes DJ took home his first green jacket He’s the #1 golfer in the world, in his own bracket
The Bills and Cardinals, holy shit Kyler to DeAndre, Cards didn’t quit On the last extra point, the Cards took a knee An incredible cover, for those who had Buffalo +3
The Tompa Bay Bucs got back on track TB12 with four touchdowns, put the team on his back Ronald Jones went yard with a 98-yard score The Buccaneers are gelling more and more
Hello friends…we’re so close. Thursday marks the beginning of the 2020 Masters. We’ve dealt with a lot of shit this year, and we deserve it. Yesterday afternoon, the PGA dropped Thursday pairings that we’ll see get going at the always pristine Augusta National Golf Club. There are some incredibly interesting groups we’ll see on Thursday and it’s got us like:
Jon Rahm, Bryson DeChambeau, Louis Oosthuizen
At 7:33, Jon Rahm, Bryson DeChambeau, and Louis Oosthuizen will get their rounds started. While still looking for his first major, Rahm has remained one of the most consistent golfers on tour since turning professional in 2016. DeChambeau is, of course, the scientific freak of nature currently terrorizing golf balls wherever he goes. It will be interesting to see how his powerful game meshes with Augusta.
Adam Scott tees off with Collin Morikawa & Tyrrell Hatton at 11:38. Scott won The Masters in 2013, and his last major in 2018. Can he get back to playing elite level golf and add another green jacket? Only time will tell. Morikawa is a baby, both in terms of his PGA career and in real life, coming into the 2020 Masters at 23 years old. He exploded onto the scene while winning the 2020 PGA Championship. This will be Morikawa’s first Masters Tournament.
In the group with the most name recognition; Dustin Johnson, Patrick Cantlay, and Rory McIlroy tee off at noon sharp. With five majors between DJ and Rory (Cantlay really not pulling his weight here), this group has a ton of fire power. No Masters wins can be found between these three, with DJ coming closest with a second place finish in last years tournament. Rory’s best Masters finish came in 2015 (4th), and Cantlay’s best finish came in 2019 when he finished 9th.
With all due respect to Shane Lowry & Andy Ogletree…Tiger Woods tees off at 7:55. What else can we say about Tiger that hasn’t already been said? Fifteen majors, 82 career PGA Tour wins, the clear cut best to ever do it. Last years Masters tournament, in which Tiger won after carding a -13, was one of the greatest moments we’ve seen in sports, and the conclusion of a huge, huge, comeback story.
We hope you all relish and savor this years Masters Tournament. Enjoy it while it’s here, it always seems to go by way too fast. Even better news: if this years tournament doesn’t quite quench your golf thirst, the 2021 Masters is right around the corner, scheduled for April 2021.
It’s Sunday. The weekend is slipping away from us. Let’s enjoy this week’s SSM while we still can.
Dalvin Cook just keeps going and going Last week and this week, after his injured groin He’s topped 200 yards two games in a row What a gift for the Vikings, wrap that man in a bow
Notre Dame bested Clemson in a top five battle The Golden Domers now sit in college football’s saddle Students rushed the field, said “we can’t stop” like Miley Cyrus Here’s hoping this scene doesn’t lead to a spread of the Coronavirus
Not a sports topic, but what the heck We want to pay tribute to Alex Trebek The GOAT game show host, his memory won’t cease All the best to his loves ones, may he rest in peace
Fall is here, friends. The leaves have changed, the sweaters have been donned, and the clocks have moved back. Let’s all get comfortable and enjoy this week’s SSM.
Tua Time in Miami, the rookie made his debut A surprise win over the Rams, the Dolphins feel anew Tua didn’t have a big game, or put up many stats But if the Dolphins keep winning, they’ll no longer be AFC East cellar rats
We crowned a new World Series champ this week, the Dodgers from LA Emerged victorious over the Rays of Tampa Bay A lot of talk on the internet on the decisions of Kevin Cash If he kept Blake Snell in longer, it could be the Rays throwing the championship bash
Trevor Lawrence, Clemson’s long-haired quarterback Tested positive for COVID, by the disease he’s been sacked The best QB in the NCAA missed this week’s game It was also announced he’ll miss Clemson’s next contest against Notre Dame
This week the Chicago Cubs declined Jon Lester’s option for 2021 Unless he’s brought back on a cheaper deal, his time with the Cubs is done Big Jon did something very cool this weekend, something very dear He’s buying the entire city of Chicago their first rounds of beer
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