Green Bay Packers

The NFL Went Banana Sandwich on This Schedule Release

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Photo: YouTube

Those crazy bastards at NFL HQ have done it again.

The 2023 schedule release has been dropped, and there are some absolute bangers we’re in for next season.

After crunching the numbers and reviewing the entire history of NFL schedule releases, we are flabbergasted at how the NFL came up with some of these matchups.

Patriots vs. Jets – Week 3

I mean, holy shit. This is insane!

The New England Patriots and New York Jets. So much history between coaches, players, and regional hate.

Two franchises that have both had Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick as head coaches at one point in time.

The fact that those crazy fucks from the NFL came up with this matchup is borderline psychotic.


Ravens vs. Steelers – Week 5

You didn’t think the NFL would be this maniacal? You’re wrong, jabroni. These schedule makers are sadistic AF.

You really throw the record book out when these two teams get together. The fact that it happens so rarely makes it even better when we get this clash.

The uniform combos are pure, the defenses are always tough, and we are shook that we get to see these two light it up next year.


Cowboys vs. Eagles – Week 14

They can’t really get away with this, can they?

These NFL schedule makers are just going to schedule Bears/Packers and act like they just didn’t pull of a miracle?!

Both of these teams are loaded with talent. This matchup may just be decided by who’s fanbase can be more unbearable by the fourth quarter, when it counts.


Bears vs. Packers – Week 1


Light me on fire, slap me in the face, and throw me over a cliff, this matchup is deranged.

The Packers have had some serious playoff woes, coming off another first round exit last season.

In fact, Green Bay has lost nine postseason matchups since 2011 (the Bears losing only twice in that span), but this early season matchup may set the tone for both of these franchise’s 2023-2024 seasons.


At this point, the NFL schedule reveal is overwhelming. They’re just pounding us over the head with wackadoodle pairings that I’m not sure we as football fans deserve, nor will be able to handle. The NFL is king, and they proved it once again today.

A Transcendental Journey From Green Bay to New York

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Photo: Clutch Points

What a long, strange trip it’s been.

Aaron Rodgers has completed his voyage in Green Bay and is now beginning his expedition with the Jets.

After a stupefying eighteen seasons in America’s Dairyland, including over 63,000 yards though land and air, 510 visits to the end zone, and reaching the mountain top in the most Super of Bowls in 2011, a bipartisan love affair between the quarterback and those who adore him is passing on into the ether.

What awaits this sublime champion in his new trek east? A whole new universe. Buroughs aplenty; a simple guessing game implies Rodgers fits best in Brooklyn. The broadest of ways, ladies with the upmost levels of liberty, and proximity to The World Trade Center for some closer research.

Will any of this work? Will this new amalgamation of quarterback and team result in the success both are seeking? That’s for the higher power, and Nathaniel Hackett, to decide.

“Isolation Retreat” Sounds Like a Kickass 80’s Rock Band

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Photo: Insider

In his Super Bowl edition of his weekly hit on The Pat McAfee Show, Aaron Rodgers was (surprisingly) asked about his future.

When asked, Rodgers gave a, what we have become accustomed to, different answer to the boring old “will you retire?” question.

There you have it; one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time’s future being decided in a pitch black cabin.

Along with the aforementioned “Isolation Retreat” sounding like a chart-topping 80’s hair band, in four-ish minutes the always efficient Rodgers pumped out these other names that sound like ensembles our parents smoked weed to when they were kids:

“Art of Contemplation”

“Four Nights of Complete Darkness”

“Highest Interest of Happiness”

“Isolation and Darkness”

“Adult Diapers”

Rodgers fancies himself as a “free thinker,” which is for the most part fine. He’s said some dumb stuff that doesn’t need to to rehashed here.

But isn’t something like an “isolation retreat” determining your future make for a better interview than the classic “well, I need to sit down with my family, pray about it, and come to a decision in due time with my family” that we hear 10,000 times every offseason?

Untimed Down Sports 2022 in Review

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Photo: Matrix Group

Some Thursday thoughts for the boys and girls as we reflect back on 2022.

We had the completely original idea to recap our top 10 stories of the year.

A sincere thank you to all who check out any of our stuff, please continue to do so. For those that don’t, we have an idea for your New Year’s resolution.

10. Aaron Rodgers & Shailene Woodley Split

Photo: People

The sports and pop culture worlds were both crushed at the completely surprising split of super couple Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley back in February.

9. Jeff Saturday Hired as New Colts Head Coach

Photo: Colts.com

This one we’re still enjoying as the year comes to a close. Jim Irsay went full Jim Irsay and hired a guy who played for him over a decade ago with zero non-high school coaching experience. We wanted to hop on the train and fill out the remainder of Mr. Irsay’s dream coaching staff.

8. Russell Wilson Continues to Be a Dork

Photo: Sports Illustrated

This blog was written in May 2020, and was still our eighth most read in 2022. That’s a compliment to both how many times Russ makes all of us cringe and how great you readers are that you keep coming back to this blog.

7. Daniel Snyder is Going to Get All of Our Asses

Photo: Commanders.com

Remember in October when the human version of Mr. Burns Daniel Snyder threatened to take down the other 31 NFL owners? That was great, and scared us into some serious confessions.

6. Kylie Jenner’s Baby is a Horse With No Name

Photo: Refinery29

We all deserve a second chance in life, right? Kyle Jenner certainly believes so, as she renamed her son after a month and a half or so trail period of naming him “Wolf.” Ever the helpers we are, we put together some names we thought might fit. We really liked “Skip TheLine Jenner” but that’s just us.

5. Steve Nash Gets the Brooklyn Boot

Photo: Fadeaway World

Amidst a hurricane tornado of controversy (non of his own doing) Steve Nash was finally freed of his duties of having to coach the Brooklyn Nets last month. We used an AI generator to create his cover letter for his next job.

4. Heard vs. Depp, the Shit Show Trail of the Century

Photo: E! News

This trail was dumped on us for over a month. It was foul, repugnant, and stunk. But we wrote about it anyways.

3. Finally, Some Sex Appeal Back in the NFL

Photo: NY Daily News

News exploded in January that the Carolina Panthers were bringing in former Giants head coach and fashion icon Ben McAdoo as their offensive coordinator. It didn’t really work, but was fun while it lasted.

2. NBA “City Edition” Jerseys are Back

Photo: NBA.com

You guys love reading these, and we love writing them. This yearly blog is always up there on page views; making dumb jokes about each jersey is something we all enjoy.

1. The Over Hits on Calvin Ridley Suspensions (0.5)

Photo: atlantafalcons.com

Our top-read blog in 2022 was an easy bet: Calvin Ridley was suspended in March for gambling on NFL games. We did some serious journalism and analyzed his Twitter account to find if we missed any signs before his gambling habit was discovered.

Wow, what a look back at the year that was. We truly went to some interesting and dumb places together, didn’t we? If you enjoy what we do, tell a friend to tell a friend.

In all seriousness, we truly appreciate your eyes and readership. On to 2023, where maybe Russell Wilson won’t be such a goober.

Sunday State of Mind: October 10th-October 16th

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Photo: You and the Mat

This week in sports has been absolutely banana sandwich. SSM is here to relive it all.

Alabama/Tennessee, singing Rocky Top
Volunteer offense was rolling, and refused to stop
Hendon Hooker and the boys put up 52
Bama defense, usually good, but last night they blew

Playoff baseball heating up, and upsets galore
Dodgers out, Braves out, who surprised you more?
NLCS matchup of the Padres and the Phillies
Yes you read that matchup right, no not joking, really

Over in the AL, Astros wrecked the M’s
A 3-0 series sweep, Houston played a gem
Guardians and Yankees play to see who gets the ‘stros
Yankees ahead at time of writing, can the bombers close?

We have to ask the question: are the Jets for real?
Went on the road and got a dub down at Lambeau Field
Impressive for a young team, tough place to play for sure
And against Aaron Rodgers, a win they procure

Sunday State of Mind: October 3rd-October 9th

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Photo: Northern Virginia Magazine

There’s a fall chill in the air, which means playoff baseball and midseason football. All of that and more in this week’s SSM.

A big win out in London, New York beat Green Bay
The New York Football Giants, feeling some type of way
Starting the season 4-1, football’s biggest surprise
Lamar Jackson comes in next week, they may just get baptized

Speaking of baptisms, Jets dunked on the ‘Fins
Miami started 3-1, left with the same amount of wins
Jets have won two straight, sit a game behind the Bills
New York’s cold dead football hearts may be getting filled

Even without their quarterback, ‘bama is the best
Beat Texas A&M, could probably beat the rest
Of the country’s teams, Saban is just that good
The best to ever do it, that is understood

A team worthy of mention, your Kansas Jayhawks
Dream start to the season, some undefeated talks
Hung tough with TCU, but just fell short by seven
Even with a loss, Kansas football fans in heaven

As mentioned in our opening, playoff baseball is here
MLB Wild Card weekend, get your hot dogs and beer
Three game sets were over quick, Cleveland Seattle Philly
Having so much sports at once is absolutely silly

Sunday State of Mind: September 19th-September 25th

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Photo: National Parks and Nature Scenes

Save for a few more games, the sports have completed their sportsing this weekend. Let’s look back together at all the happenings in this week’s SSM.

The Albert Pujols show, big episode this week
Joined the 700 club, not bad for an antique
He did it in style, two bombs out in LA
The Yankees home run record keeping Aaron Judge at bay

Tough week in Miami, The U indeed not back
MTSU came to town, Hurricanes blue and black
First year, new coach for the ‘canes, so this isn’t the end
Another upset like this though, things may just start to bend

TB12 and A-Rod, who’s your favorite old QB
On field goat debate, what a thing to see
Could not care less who won the game, what matters to us most
Was how the hell did a bee swarm end up on the goal post?

Colts and the Chiefs, thought this would be easy
By the end of the game Kansas City fans were queasy
Big upset for Indy, Matt Ryan won a big one
Tough loss for the Chiefs, Andy Reid had no fun

Grandfather Finds Exciting Hobbies in Retirement

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Photo: WDAM

No matter the profession, it’s hard for anyone to transition from professional life to retirement.

Your mind can wander, finding things to fill more time than you’ve ever had, and keeping active can become a whole job in itself!

Brett Favre, a 52-year old grandfather of three spent 20 years working an extremely physical job. His career took him from Atlanta, Green Bay, New York, Minnesota, and everywhere in between. An expert in his field, Favre put his body on the line for years with a competitiveness and excitement rarely seen in his industry.

When he decided to retire in 2010, Favre decided to keep his mind and body active. While he may not have been able to perform at the physical level he did pre-retirement, the want-to to remain mobile is quite the admiral feat.

Technology

We’ve all heard the jokes about the elder generation and the ever-evolving world of technology. Laptops, iPhones, Twitter; who can keep track?

Mr. Favre can! Getting a start right after retiring in 2010, Brett sat down and learned all about his iPhone. He even mastered how to send pictures via text, which he really enjoyed. After the picture texts were conquered, he gained a following on Cameo and did great there as well.

Politics

One of the most admirable thing one can do is give back to where they came from. Mississippi, much like many places in America, can use all of the help they can get.

Favre, seeing a weakness, dedicated himself to get involved in local politics. His actions showed a sincere vision for how to manage the Mississippi Department of Human Services Welfare Fund. On top of his passion for those in his state sincerely needing assistance, he’s a family man.

With those two passions in mind, he fully threw himself into a project that lead to diverting millions of dollars from poor families to build a new volleyball facility at a local university. By sheer luck, the university just so happened to be the same institution his daughter attends. Even crazier; she actually plays volleyball!

It’s great when people help people. Local southern gentleman Brett Favre is both the ultimate competitor and unifier. We should all be so lucky to live amongst such altruistic, selfless being. A proud Mississippian that exudes self-sacrifice, decency, and nobility.

Sunday State of Mind: September 5th-September 11th

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Photo: Dreamstime

We continue a longstanding tradition here at UDS by dedicating an entire SSM to Week One NFL action.

Big start on Thursday night, Rams and the Bills
Pregame program was legit, full of fluff and frills
The game was in LA, but plenty Bills fans there
Josh Allen and the boys came out and won the game with flair

Sunday start in the dirty, Falcons and the Saints
Start of football season, we have no complaints
Something so familiar, Falcons had an early lead
They coughed it up and lost, almost guaranteed

Browns and the Panthers, Baker revenge bowl
He wanted to win this game with his entire soul
Browns came out and played, got a surprising win
Panthers almost came back, there’s a positive spin

The San Francisco 49ers are used to good weather
The conditions in Chicago, they were different all together
It rained and rained and rained some more, really came down strong
A nice win for the Bears in a season that might be long

Steelers and the Bengals, an AFC North tilt
Bengals came in walking tall, like a man on stilts
Five turnovers for Joe Burrow, not like him at all
Even so, we had OT, but the Bengals did fall

Eagles and the Lions, closer than we expected!
Coming into the day, thought this game would be neglected
Lions got down early, then almost came back
Lot of money on the Eagles, banks almost attacked

Texans and the Colts, folks we have a tie
Same score in regulation, OT, and then the game died
Feels like a win for Houston, Indy can not be psyched
Have to think a blowout win is what they would’ve liked

Patriots and Dolphins, Miami’s brand new look
Mike McDaniel’s offense had Bill Belichick’s D shook
Tua looked OK, Tyreek and Waddle balled
Dolphin fans ecstatic, Pats fans are appalled

Ravens and the Jets, Flacco revenge game
Cool Joe did play pretty well, can’t give him much blame
Lamar Jackson’s on a mission, wants to get that big money
Three touchdowns and Ravens win, L-Jack sweet as honey

Jags and the Commanders, this game just seemed weird
First game for Carson Wentz in DC, brought his big red beard
Jaguars were close to grabbing a week one win
At least until week two for victories to begin

Giants and the Titans, King Henry and Saquon
The Titan bruised along, Giant looked like a swan
Another crazy comeback, as New York did their job
Titans played tough in the first half, but ended like slobs

Cardinals and the Chiefs, and a new look KC
Went to Arizona, first opportunity
To see if they still had it after losing some big stars
Five tuddy’s for Pat Mahomes, he did not go too far

Chargers and the Raiders, matchup in LA
Justin Herbert is a stud, and he was on display
Three touchdowns and no picks, his team is 1-0
Raiders have a nice roster, only upwards to go

Vikings and the Packers, A-Rod needs to some talent
He can’t go out and win himself, they guy’s only so gallant
Story is not about him though, Vikings looked pretty good
Kirk Cousins was really sharp, was he misunderstood?

Buccaneers and Cowboys, Sunday night in Dallas
Jerry Jones must love it when we’re focused on his palace
Tough break for Big Jer, as Tom Brady is still here
TB12 wins again, will for 100 years

Sunday State of Mind: May 30th-June 5th

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Photo: Wallpaper Boat

The weather has turned as we are past the unofficial opening of summer. The beautiful forecast calls for some beautiful sports poetry.

The NBA Finals, Boston and The Bay
Warriors and Celtics are here to play
Al Horford and the boys took game one on the road
If they win again tonight Draymond might explode

Capital One’s The Match, the QB edition
Four of our top quarterbacks in the competition
Brady, Rodgers, Patty, Josh, young guns verse the old
ARod and TB12 took it to them for the gold

Baseball staying relevant, thanks to the NFL
Tommy Pham’s a wildcard, we’re saying “what the hell?”
Who hasn’t wanted to slap a fellow league member
Fantasy football means a lot, Tommy’s got a temper

Avalanche and Rangers, not a lot of spoilers
Both looking for a sweep against the Lightning and the Oilers
Only a few shots left for Tampa and Edmonton
If they don’t get it in gear both squads will soon be done