It is with profound sadness we write this week’s SSM, as the football season is officially over. Since we don’t want to see football go, we’re recapping the game that just happened; with the Los Angeles Rams winning the Lombardi Trophy in Super Bowl 56.
First quarter some action, a 7-3 score An OBJ touchdown, but there would be more Bengals mustered a field goal, but scoring was not hearty Final score in mind, may have kept them from the Lombardi
A busy second quarter, plenty to talk about Cooper Kupp scored once, Bengals ended their end zone drought Terrible sight to see, Odell Beckham hurt his knee Rams were down a playmaker after the injury
Maybe better than the game, the Pepsi Halftime Show A collection of nostalgia singing songs that we all know Snoop and Dre were great, Em, Kendrick, Mary J How about Mr. In Da Club, please give us a replay
Cincinnati came out hot after the halftime break A Burrow bomb to Higgins, would LA start to shake? The 75 yard touchdown would be the highIight here Other than trading field goals, the game’s ending was near
Only one score in the final frame, but it was the winner Stafford to Cooper Kupp a second time, chicken dinner With that touchdown the Rams secured a Super victory Cemented themselves as champions, NFL history
And then there were four. It’s NFL Divisional Playoff Weekend. We recap in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
The Cincinnati Bengals, also known as Cinderella Their quarterback Joe Burrow sure is one talented fella Bengals went down to Nashville, beat up on the Titans A young team with big talent, NFL should be frightened
Another major upset, Niners over Green Bay Defense and special teams for San Francisco saved the day Jimmy Garoppolo has got to be better next week Otherwise the Niners Super Bowl chances sure look bleak
An NFC West battle, the Super Bowl’s the prize The Rams came down to Tampa and stuck it in their eyes Matt Stafford and that defense ended Tom Brady’s year Rumors are a-floating, will he end his career?
The best for last, Chiefs and Bills Regulation not enough, overtime thrills Time and time again, Mahomes comes out a winner Andy Reid earned himself a nice triple steak dinner
Look at him, drink in every inch of that perfectly tailored suit.
The NFL got better on Friday when the Carolina Panthers announced the hiring of Ben McAdoo as their new offensive coordinator. Before Pete Davidson was the sexiest man in New York, Coach McAdoo held that title. The former Giants head coach last prowled the sidelines in 2017 with the G-men, and had been in consulting roles with the Jaguars and Cowboys since he was unjustly fired in New York.
An undervalued offensive mind, Big Bad Ben brings the twisted steel and sex appeal the Panthers were looking for in their search. The titillating teacher of offense graced the Giants with his beautiful brain during an incredible run that started in 2016 and unfortunately ended in 2017.
2016: ranked 26th in scoring offense, ahead of juggernauts like the Bears, Jets, and Browns
2016: ranked 29th in rushing, beating out dependable runners like Theo Riddick of the Lions and Jerick McKinnon of the Vikings
2016: ranked 17th in passing, out-throwing big arms like Ryan Tannehill of the Dolphins and Brock Osweiler of the Texans
2017: ranked 31st in scoring offense, blowing the Browns out of the water (just like 2016)
2017: ranked 26th in rushing, a huge improvement from 2016 and outrushing big hitters like Kerwynn Williams of the Cardinals and Samaje Perine of the Washington Football Team
2017: ranked 19th in passing, this extremely slight drop from 2016 can easily be explained by the improved rushing attack and becoming a more balanced offense. Even with all of that, that stellar offense had more passing yards than Joe Flacco’s Ravens and Jacoby Brissett’s Colts
Absolute fireworks. If you’re a Carolina Panther fan today, I don’t know how you’re containing your excitement. Go buy those season tickets because they’ll be flying off the shelf after this announcement. Go out and get that “Panthers Super Bowl Champs 2023” tattoo. Name your next born “Benjamin.” There are no rules after organization shifting hires like Coach McAdoo.
You’ve got yourself a stud…ride that pony all the way to the Lombardi Trophy.
One of the best weekends in sports, Super Wildcard Weekend. We’ve still got plenty to go, but in case you missed anything, let’s review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
Raiders and the Bengals, first game yesterday Joe Burrow and the boys from Cincy for sure had their way Vegas made it close, almost tied it at the end After the season the Raiders had, we all should commend
Bills and the Pats, Saturday’s nightcap This one was over early, an expeditious wrap Bills Mafia came in force and saw their team ball out Beat the Pats two out of three, some AFC East clout
Bucs and the Eagles, champions verse Philly TB12 and the boys made them look silly The Eagles never got it going, and it really showed Hard to beat the buzzsaw Brady when in playoff mode
An upset down in Big D, Niners and the boys San Fran’s offense was too much, really brought the noise Another big playoff loss for Jerry Jones’ team Ever since the late 90’s that has been their theme
On Thursday, ESPN’s always riveting morning show Get Up held what we’ve all come to expect; lively debate with hard hitting analysis.
During another exhilarating conversation, the panel moved to this week’s opening round of the NFL playoffs. While talking about Josh Allen’s issues with cold weather, Bart Scott gave his best suggestion to improve the Bills quarterback’s chances to lead his team to victory over the Patriots:
“Josh Allen listening? Can people get this message to him? Vi-a-gra. Take a viagra before the game, baby.” — Bart Scott
Added: “A lot of NFL players, at least in my day, took viagra.”
After this clip aired, Scott continued his diatribe and provided some additional tips:
“Soup. Find your best soup place in Buffalo and down that super bowl of broth and noodles.”
“Layer, layer, layer. Throw on 3-4 long sleeves under your shoulder pads to guarantee warmth.”
“Take a shot of hot sauce. Tobasco, Cholula, Frank’s Redhot; anything will do.”
“Halftime shower. X’s and O’s be dammed; in game adjustments pale in comparison to body heat. Boil up a pot of water to 425 degrees, strip down, and engulf yourself in some blazing H20.”
“The cold can cause joint and muscle pain, we all know that. Take some IcyHot, and jam it in any and all orifices of your body. Both nostrils, eyeballs, buttcrack. Stick it in to win is what I always say.”
“This is probably obvious, but train in the ancient art of fire eating.”
It’s always interesting to see the inside tips and tricks that professional athletes do to ensure premium performance. Really looking forward to the playoffs this weekend to see which of these pointers work out for Allen and the Bills.
Like an old friend, SSM is back to review the week that was in sports.
First week 18 in NFL history Helped solved some teams playoff mysteries Titans and Packers are number one seeds Lead the AFC and NFC, respectively
Big upset that changed some plans Jags beat the Colts, now they’re playoff banned Indy won’t move on, their season is done An all time choke, they were on such a run
A football tradition, all gas and no breaks Dolphins beat the Pats in a game with no stakes A one year playoff hiatus for the Pats But they’re back in the dance, and that is that
In the “coaches probably fired” Super Bowl Vikings beat the Bears, Skol skol skol Mike Zimmer and Matt Nagy, things looking grim Both coaches and their staffs may get trimmed
After a sideline dispute and an all-time walk off, Antonio Brown has been released by the Buccaneers. We’re all familiar by now with the he said he said of the dispute between Brown and Bruce Arians. We’re not here to debate who’s right and who’s wrong; but to make fun of all involved.
Antonio Brown is an asshole. Bruce Arians is an asshole. They’re both larger than life characters with flaws. To get to the top of their respective professions means they’re both world class at what they do; but that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at them when a disaster of magnificent proportions like this happens in front of our eyes.
Brown’s history is just too funny not to look back and reminisce on. Despite the fact that he’s Tom Brady’s old roommate; he’s an eccentric oddball who was literally a homeless person that turned himself into one of the most physically gifted receivers we’ve ever seen. That amazing fact cannot stop us from remembering he habitually does not pay anyone for services rendered, threw furniture out of his 14th story apartment in a childish fit of rage, and rips farts in doctor’s faces. Grade A terrible and comedic behavior for anyone.
Arians is simply funny to look at. He looks like the owner of a shitty bar and grille called “Bruce’s Buoy Bar” in the Florida Keys that offers two for one Landsharks during happy hour. He also looks like the kind of guy who had his stomach pumped twice as a kid for drinking paint; not once…twice. Wrap all of this together with his trademark Kangol hat as a cherry on top, and you’ve got yourself a cartoon character for the ages.
It will be interesting to see how all of this will play out between the Buccaneers and Brown. The NFLPA will inevitably get involved, some more mud slinging will happen between the two sides, and maybe we’ll get a few more funny behind the scenes stories we don’t currently have. Will Brown get another shot in the NFL? Honestly, who cares. Let’s enjoy the shit show we have in front of us now and worry about that another day.
The sports really sported this week, didn’t they? We review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.
Another Jake Paul fight, a real heavyweight bout Round 2 with Tyron Woodley, knocked his ass out Hard to argue with another knockout blow For the YouTube star, he does put on a show
On the undercard, another wild fight Deron Williams and Frank Gore, yeah you heard that right If I had to choose one side, I’d be on Frank Gore’s team But holy shit he got knocked out, even became a meme
Big upset in the NFL, Lions win again! Not a matter of if they’ll bite, but really only when A second win for Dan Campbell, and a tie to boot Still like Kyler and the Cardinals, that little guy can scoot
The heat’s on in Miami, the Dolphins cannot lose Six straight wins after today, team is set to cruise Their record’s evened up, seven up and seven down Will we see the much familiar late season letdown?
Staying down in Florida, surprise of the season Urban Meyer has been fired for 1,000 reasons We all saw this coming, was a total shit show Funny that the tipping point was kicking Josh Lambo
A fresh new face to lead the Mets in 2022 Thinking way outside the box for the orange and blue Super shocking hire, a clean slate as they say Bright eyed 65 year old Buck Showalter to save the day!
The race is hot the in the NBA, who has COVID the most? Cavs, Nets, and the Hawks currently have the rights to boast The virus not just affecting the world of basketball NFL has issues too, rescheduling and all
We are in full blown holiday season, and the gift of sports keeps on giving. We recap the past seven days of presents in this week’s SSM.
NFL afternoon slate, full of overtime Bucs and Bills, Niners and Bengals, teams all in their prime San Francisco, Tampa Bay, both teams with the dubs All four teams might make the playoffs, none of them are scrubs
Another great week in Jacksonville For Urban Meyer, dude is not chill He called his staff losers, things not going well Looking to move to Florida? Urban may be ready to sell
Big COVID outbreak for the Chicago Bulls Nine players in quarantine, protocol list is full Hard to keep momentum going with a thing like this Hopefully all get well soon or Bulls fans will be pissed
What a long, strange journey it’s been. We started all the way at 99, and have now arrived at our final edition of “Who Wore It Best?” Single digits can be tough, but we’re up for the challenge.
I mean, “Mr. Hockey” has to make the list, right? Howe’s career spanned nearly 40 years, in which he won four Stanley Cups, six Hart Trophies, and appeared in the All-Star game 23 times.
Honorable Mentions: Ted Williams, Drew Brees, Bobby Hull, Mike Modano
Maybe the closest we’ll ever get to MJ. We all know Kobe ended his career rocking 24, but he was great enough to take the eight cake. He spent his entire 20 year career with the Lakers, in which he won five NBA Championships, the 2008 MVP, and made 11 All-NBA First Teams.
Honorable Mentions: Joe Morgan, Carl Yastrzemski, Cal Ripken Jr., Yogi Berra, Steve Young, Troy Aikman, Alexander Ovechkin
The greatest player who was a doppelgänger of their team mascot. But that’s not the only reason Elway makes our list. He held the “couldn’t win the big one” tag his entire career, until he shut everyone up and won back-to-back Super Bowls his last two seasons in the NFL. Even if he wouldn’t have won the two Lombardis, Elway racked up an MVP, nine Pro Bowl selections, and passing title in 1993.
The man who ran out of fingers for all of his championship rings. Russell won five MVPs, was a four time rebounding champion, and a member of the NBA’s 25th, 35th, and 50th Anniversary Teams.
We’ve shown our appreciation for The Machine on this blog before. Pujols’ first 11 years in St. Louis were enough to get the guy in the Hall of Fame. His time with the Angels and Dodgers, while not as great, hasn’t done anything to diminish that. His approximate career numbers have him as a .300 hitter, closing in on 700 home runs, and well over 3,000 hits.
Honorable Mentions: Joe DiMaggio, George Brett, Johnny Bench, Kevin Garnett, Donovan McNabb
Next to Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig was the best player on the Yankees during their incredible run in the 20’s and 30’s. Gherig was a part of six World Series championships, was a two time MVP, and won the Triple Crown in 1934.
Honorable Mentions: Brett Favre, Adam Vinatieri, Bobby Orr
Keeping it young and fresh with back to back 1920’s Yankees. This one’s a no doubter though; Shohei Ohtaini before Shohei Ohtani. At the plate, The Great Bambino hit 714 home runs, slugged .690, and ended his career with an 1.164 OPS. On the mound, The Colossus of Clout went 94-46, with a 2.28 ERA, and threw 107 complete games.
Christ, enough with the Yankees already. Jeets is an easy choice in a not extremely tough field. The recent Hall of Fame inductee wrapped up an illustrious career with a very succinct five World Series rings, Gold Gloves, and Silver Slugger Awards, as well as 14 All-Star appearances.
The best defensive shortstop of all time, and possibly best overall defender ever. Smith won 13 Gold Gloves in 19 seasons. Along the way, he was a part of the 1982 World Series Championship Cardinal team, made 15 All-Star games, and was inducted to the Hall of Fame in 2002.
A nice, easy choice to get us to the finish line; not a whole lot of competition at the zero spot. The 2017 MVP is a nine time All-Star, two time All-NBA First Teamer, and is essentially a walking triple double.
Honorable Mention: N/A
We made it, friends. All the way from 99 down to 0. We laughed, we cried, and made some friends along the way. This was a fun project to complete and remember some names that haven’t been brought up in a while. Hopefully this was as interesting to read as it was to write. Who knows what our next series will be…stay tuned.
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