Let’s Learn About the Teams in the MLB Playoffs

Photo: MLB.com

October is here, which means playoff baseball.

The MLB Playoffs kick off today, and they usually deliver. Baseball’s still a long season that makes it hard to keep up with, so why don’t we learn a few fun facts about each team?

Los Angeles Dodgers – the NL’s number one seed spent just over twelve trillion dollars on this year’s roster.

New York Yankees – the top dog in the AL is hoping to bring home World Series number 27 for all of the Lakers and Cowboys fans out there.

Philadelphia Phillies – Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni has come out in huge support of the Fightin’ Phils…anything to take the attention off of how bad his team looks so far this season.

Cleveland Guardians – José Ramírez fell one home run short of joining the 40/40 club this season, “he should be sent down to the minors for such a piss poor effort,” said Shohei Ohtani.

Milwaukee Brewers – the Brew Crew is the ultimate scrappy, lower budger franchise you love to root for…except they employed Ryan Braun so we all have to hate them, it’s the law.

Houston Astros – the trash can bangers are back in business baby, don’t let the rule book hit you on the way out.

San Diego Padres – the perfect city with the perfect alternate uniforms. If they don’t wear these at least four times in the playoffs they have no shot.

Baltimore Orioles – the last time the Orioles were in back to back playoffs was in 1996-1997, at which point nine of their current players were not even born.

Atlanta Braves – the exact opposite of the Orioles, the Bravos are in for the seventh straight year. Not sure if this is accurate or not, but scientists note that since the last time the Braves missed the playoffs, the Earth has gone around the Sun seven times. Science is crazy.

Kansas City Royals – if I had a gun to my head and was told to name the Royals manager, I would not be sitting here writing this blog. Matt Quatraro is his name. The skipper never made it to the majors, but was a .286 hitter with 23 home runs and 202 RBI in his minor league career.

New York Mets – The Metropolitans snuck in yesterday after splitting a double header with the Braves. Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Met celebrated appropriately?

Detroit Tigers – I was as surprised as you to see the Tigs on the above bracket, but make no mistake they are a playoff team. Since Javy Báez had season ending surgery on August 26th, they are 21-10…that is simply a true statistic, and not a comment on the fact that as much as we love Javy, he would swing and miss sand if he were at the beach.

We love playoff baseball, and we hope you do to. If you don’t like playoff baseball, then you suck as much as Ryan Braun.

Finally, the Diarrhea Plane Genre Reaches Sports

Photo: The Tab

A story Paul Pierce would get in a wheelchair for…a tale that would make Lamar Jackson waddle to the locker room mid game…an anecdote that Odell Beckham Jr. would consider mile high club erotica.

On Wednesday’s Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz; former Marlins president and human Valvoline bottle David Sampson let an incredible story losse about current Yankees president Randy Levine breaking the number one rule on former Mets owner Fred Wilpon’s private jet.

Anytime we can hear about billionaires having to deal with shit (literally) on private jets that us peasants run(s) into while we’re stuffed into an overcrowded Southwest tube is always satisfying.

The Yankees and Mets both stink this year. I’m sure both fanbases want to evacuate themselves from this season as quickly as possible, and void their insides of any bad feelings their teams have provided them in 2023. Both organizations are likely to excrete certain particles of themselves after the hind end of the season is over in order to feel relief from this year ending up in the toilet.

A Giant Mistake: Carlos Correa Flips to Mets

Photo: Sports Illustrated

More like Car-NOs Correa, amirite?

Weird news broke Tuesday night that Carlos Correa’s introductory press conference with the San Francisco Giants was being delayed due to a “medical issue.”

When we all woke up Wednesday morning, his 13 year, $350 million dollar Giants contract was ripped up and he had already signed a new 12 year, $315 million dollar deal with the Mets.

This is actually great news for the Giants, getting this kind of money off the books to stay in the mix in free agency.

“Now, don’t spend it all in on place.” said Grandmas everywhere.

Forget about Correa, Xander Bogaerts, Trea Turner or Dansby Swanson. According to Spotrac, The Giants will have the flexibility to go after the real big fish that have yet to be signed.

How about hometown heroes Brandon Belt and Evan Longoria? That doesn’t sooth your appetite, Giants fans? How does Nelson Cruz, Jean Segura, or AJ Pollock sound to fill your Carlos Correa sized hole in your heart? No? Well surely Adam Duvall, Jurickson Profar, or Jackie Bradley Jr. would do the trick…right?

If none of those tempting names do it for you, patience is a virtue. The 2024 free agent class is simply busting with talent: Kyle Hendricks, Joey Gallo, and Jonathan Schoop just to name a few. All better than Carlos Correa.

Don’t fret, Giants fans…this is definitely not an all-time bad mishap that will set you back years and maybe decades.

Sunday State of Mind: November 28th-December 4th

Photo: Wallpaper Access

Folks, we did it again. Another week in the books and more sports than we could handle. Our latest SSM is here to review it all.

College football playoff, final four is set
Ohio State and Georgia, could we see an upset?
Other side of the bracket, Michigan vs. TCU
Sad we only have three more college games to go through

Potential Super Bowl preview, a game all wanted
Dolphins and 49ers, two teams deep bonded
It wasn’t meant to be, you see, game just fell quite short
Both QBs ended up the injury report

Jacob deGrom, your newest Texas Ranger
AL West hitters are about to be in danger
Big hit for the Mets, another big arm gone
Had so many off years, Mets fans want to stay on

Jose Alvarado! We don’t know him either
Thirty eight on Sunday, didn’t take a breather
Undrafted to bucket getter, a great sports story
Pelicans are basking in some rarely found glory

Sunday State of Mind: October 3rd-October 9th

There’s a fall chill in the air, which means playoff baseball and midseason football. All of that and more in this week’s SSM.

A big win out in London, New York beat Green Bay
The New York Football Giants, feeling some type of way
Starting the season 4-1, football’s biggest surprise
Lamar Jackson comes in next week, they may just get baptized

Speaking of baptisms, Jets dunked on the ‘Fins
Miami started 3-1, left with the same amount of wins
Jets have won two straight, sit a game behind the Bills
New York’s cold dead football hearts may be getting filled

Even without their quarterback, ‘bama is the best
Beat Texas A&M, could probably beat the rest
Of the country’s teams, Saban is just that good
The best to ever do it, that is understood

A team worthy of mention, your Kansas Jayhawks
Dream start to the season, some undefeated talks
Hung tough with TCU, but just fell short by seven
Even with a loss, Kansas football fans in heaven

As mentioned in our opening, playoff baseball is here
MLB Wild Card weekend, get your hot dogs and beer
Three game sets were over quick, Cleveland Seattle Philly
Having so much sports at once is absolutely silly

The Official UDS 2022 Baseball Preview

Hope springs eternal. It’s finally here, folks; it’s baseball season. Summer is around the corner, and we’ll all soon be sitting in the sun at our favorite ballparks inhaling hot dogs and ice cold beer.

Everyone is doing prediction content, we know that. But our official 2022 prognostications will be coming via the reminiscing route.

Who doesn’t love a good baseball name from from the 90’s or early aughts? So that’s how we’re giving our picks, via our favorite throwback name from each team.

AL East

  1. Toronto Blue Jays – Gregg Zaun, C
  2. Boston Red Sox – Trot Nixon, RF
  3. Tampa Bay Rays – Miguel Cairo, 2B
  4. New York Yankees – Scott Brosius, 3B
  5. Baltimore Orioles – Jerry Hairston Jr., 2B

AL Central

  1. Chicago White Sox – José Valentín, 3B
  2. Minnesota Twins – Matt Lawton, CF
  3. Cleveland Guardians – Carlos Baerga, 2B
  4. Detroit Tigers – José Macías, 3B
  5. Kansas City Royals – Mark Grudzielanek, 2B

AL West

  1. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim – Scott Spiezio, 1B
  2. Houston Astros – Julio Lugo, SS
  3. Seattle Mariners – Mike Cameron, CF
  4. Texas Rangers – Royce Clayton, SS
  5. Oakland A’s – Matt Stairs, DH

NL East

  1. Philadelphia Phillies – Mickey Morandini, 2B
  2. Atlanta Braves – Ryan Klesko, RF
  3. New York Mets – Benny Agbayani, LF
  4. Miami Marlins – Hee-Seop Choi, 1B
  5. Washington Nationals – José Vidro, 2B

NL Central

  1. St. Louis Cardinals – Fernando Vina, 2B
  2. Milwaukee Brewers – Jeromy Burnitz, RF
  3. Chicago Cubs – Ron Coomer, 3B
  4. Cincinnati Reds – Pokey Reese, 2B
  5. Pittsburgh Pirates – Tony Womack, SS

NL West

  1. Colorado Rockies – Dante Bichette, RF
  2. San Francisco Giants – Benito Santiago, C
  3. Los Angeles Dodgers – César Izturis, SS
  4. San Diego Padres – Mark Kotsay, CF
  5. Arizona Diamondbacks – Lyle Overbay, 1B

God, that was amazing…I think I need a cigarette. So many great names, so much boring baseball to have on in the background until October. Let’s go.

Sunday State of Mind: December 13th-December 19th

The sports really sported this week, didn’t they? We review in this week’s Sunday State of Mind.

Another Jake Paul fight, a real heavyweight bout
Round 2 with Tyron Woodley, knocked his ass out
Hard to argue with another knockout blow
For the YouTube star, he does put on a show

On the undercard, another wild fight
Deron Williams and Frank Gore, yeah you heard that right
If I had to choose one side, I’d be on Frank Gore’s team
But holy shit he got knocked out, even became a meme

Big upset in the NFL, Lions win again!
Not a matter of if they’ll bite, but really only when
A second win for Dan Campbell, and a tie to boot
Still like Kyler and the Cardinals, that little guy can scoot

The heat’s on in Miami, the Dolphins cannot lose
Six straight wins after today, team is set to cruise
Their record’s evened up, seven up and seven down
Will we see the much familiar late season letdown?

Staying down in Florida, surprise of the season
Urban Meyer has been fired for 1,000 reasons
We all saw this coming, was a total shit show
Funny that the tipping point was kicking Josh Lambo

A fresh new face to lead the Mets in 2022
Thinking way outside the box for the orange and blue
Super shocking hire, a clean slate as they say
Bright eyed 65 year old Buck Showalter to save the day!

The race is hot the in the NBA, who has COVID the most?
Cavs, Nets, and the Hawks currently have the rights to boast
The virus not just affecting the world of basketball
NFL has issues too, rescheduling and all

Who Wore it Best? 19-10

Photo: Dr. Odd

The finish line is in sight on our recurring series “Who Wore It Best.” In our penultimate edition, we’re getting into the teens.

19 – Johnny Unitas

Starting off young, fresh, and hip. While 19 turns out to be an incredibly strongly represented number, Unitas is widely known as one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL. Four championships, three MVPs, and a member of all three of the 50th, 75th and 100th NFL Anniversary Teams gives Johnny U the nod.

Honorable Mentions: Tony Gwynn, Willis Reed, Steve Yzerman, Jonathan Toews

18 – Peyton Manning

Photo: CBS

Back to back Colts quarterbacks to get us started here. A member of the most recent Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee class, Manning put up some unreal numbers en route to two Super Bowl wins. Manning’s trophy case is busting at the seams with five MVPs, the 2012 Comeback Player of the Year Award, and number retirement plaques for his number 18 in both Indianapolis and Denver.

Honorable Mention: Denis Savard

17 – Todd Helton

Photo: Fansided

Todd Helton played baseball and football at University of Tennessee, and was a teammate of Peyton Manning’s. However, Helton makes our list for his accomplishments on the diamond. Helton retired in 2013 with a career average of .316, 369 home runs, and 2,519 hits. Along the way, he won three Gold Gloves, four Silver Sluggers, and a batting title in 2000.

Honorable Mention: Philip Rivers

16 – Joe Montana

Photo: Esquire

Much like Unitas, Montana is a firm part of the “best quarterback of all-time” conversation. Montana lead the 49ers to four Super Bowl rings, while being the MVP in three of those four wins. One of the more accurate quarterbacks of his time, he lead the NFL in completion percentage five separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Whitey Ford, Brett Hull

15 – Bart Starr

If we’re including Johnny Unitas, it’s only fair to involve Bart Starr. The quarterback who lead the Packers to victories in Super Bowls I and II, while winning MVP in both games, finished his career with five championships, a regular season MVP award, and four Pro Bowls.

Honorable Mentions: Carlos Beltran, Jim Edmonds

14 – Pete Rose

Photo: Time

Taking a bit of gamble including Rose on our list, but here we are. The all-time hit king (4,256) does have a stellar on-field resumé. Seventeen All-Star games, three World Series rings, the 1973 NL MVP, and two Gold Gloves.

Honorable Mentions: Ernie Banks, Oscar Robertson, Dan Fouts

13 – Wilt Chamberlain

Photo: SB Nation

Of course the only man to score 100 points in an NBA game is making our list. Wilt the Stilt averaged a silly 30.9 points per game and 22.9 rebounds per game over his 15 year career. He also won two rings, four MVPs, was a seven time scoring champion, as well as an 11 time rebound champion.

Honorable Mentions: Alex Rodriguez, Dan Marino

12 – Tom Brady

Photo: Amazon

The greatest quarterback of all time at the most important position in sports. TB12’s resumé is too long to outline here; but it’s headlined by his seven Super Bowl rings. On top of that, Brady has lead the league at one point in his career in passing touchdowns, yards, and rating.

Honorable Mentions: John Stockton, Terry Bradshaw, Roger Staubach, Jim Kelly, Joe Namath, Bob Griese, Aaron Rodgers, Jarome Iginla

11 – Mark Messier

Being the center piece of a dynasty goes a long way in lists like these. Messier was the unquestioned leader & captain in Edmonton, where he lead the Oilers to five Stanley Cups. He also became the only player to captain two separate teams to Stanley Cup victories when he lead the Rangers to the cup in 1994.

Honorable Mentions: Barry Larkin, Larry Fitzgerald

10 – Fran Tarkenton

Fran Tarkenton walked to Steve Young, Michael Vick, and the like could run. Not only did Tarkenton sling it for 47,003 yards and 342 touchdowns, he also ran for 3,674 yards and 32 touchdowns in his career. Another fun fact: his only MVP season came in 1975, his 15th year in the NFL.

Honorable Mentions: Walt Frazier, Guy Lafleur

Heavy quarterback representation here. Any other noise was a faint whisper from baseball. Abysmal showing by hockey and basketball. We’ll bid farewell to our ongoing series in the next edition of “Who Wore It Best.”

Who Wore it Best? 29-20

Photo: Dr. Odd

We’ve arrived at an incredibly important edition of “Who Wore It Best.” In our latest, we’re digging into the roaring 20’s. Let’s find out together who made the cut in this extremely paramount, career-defining list.

29 – Eric Dickerson

Photo: SB Nation

His athletic excellence barely surpassed that of the rec specs. Dickerson put together the greatest single season rushing the football in 1984, going for an NFL record 2,105 yards. He wasn’t just a one season wonder, however. Before being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1999, Dickerson was a five time first team All-Pro, four time rushing leader, has his number 29 retired by the LA Rams, and is in the Indianapolis Colts Ring of Honor.

Honorable Mentions: Adrian Beltre, Ken Dryden, Marc-André Fleury

28 – Marshall Faulk

Back to back running backs who played for the Rams and Colts. Much like Dickerson, Faulk both has his number retired by the Rams as well as being a member of the Colts Ring of Honor. Unlike Dickerson, Faulk has a Super Bowl ring. He also tacked on a MVP, three offensive player of the year awards, as well as three first team All-Pro selections.

Honorable Mentions: Bert Blyleven, Curtis Martin, Darrell Green

27 – Vladimir Guerrero Sr.

Photo: SB Nation

Vlad the Impaler was a 2018 Hall of Fame inductee. He earned his spot in Cooperstown after winning the 2004 MVP, hitting 449 career home runs while maintaining a .318 career batting average, and winning an incredible eight Silver Slugger awards.

Honorable Mentions: Eddie George, Scott Rolen

26 – Rod Woodson

Photo: SB Nation

Rod Woodson was one of the best ball hawks to ever do it; picking off 71 balls in his 17 NFL seasons. He was also a vital member of one of the greatest defenses of all time, the Super Bowl XXXV champion Baltimore Ravens. All of this (and more) cumulated in an induction to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2009.

Honorable Mention: Wade Boggs

25 – Barry Bonds

Photo: CNN

Even before he went to the Giants and things…changed; Barry Bonds was one of the greatest players in baseball. In his seven seasons in Pittsburgh before moving to San Francisco, Bonds was a three time NL MVP, won five Gold Gloves, and five Silver Slugger awards.

Honorable Mention: Fred Biletnikoff

24 – Willie Mays

Photo: Pinterest

Absolute stacked number here, but Mays takes the cake. The stats are gawdy; 660 home runs, 1,903 RBI, and 338 stolen bases. Along the way Mays made 24 All-Star games, won twelve Gold Gloves, two NL MVPs, and a World Series in 1954.

Honorable Mentions: Ken Griffey Jr., Rickey Henderson, Miguel Cabrera, Manny Ramirez, Rick Barry, Champ Bailey, Chris Chelios

23 – Michael Jordan

Photo: Yardbarker

Next question.

Honorable Mentions: LeBron James, Ryne Sandberg, Devin Hester

22 – Emmitt Smith

Photo: USA Today

Emmitt Smith did it all in his 15 NFL seasons. The league’s all time leading rusher (18,355 yards) won three Super Bowls, the 1993 NFL MVP, was a four time first team All-Pro, and lead the NFL in touchdowns three separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Clayton Kershaw, Elgin Baylor, Roger Clemens

21 – Deion Sanders

Photo: SFGate

The swagiest swag that ever swagged. Deion was, and still is, one of the most raw athletes we’ve ever seen. He wasn’t too bad on the field either. Prime’s got two Super Bowl rings, six first team All-Pro selections, and is a member of both the 90’s All-Decade and NFL 100th Anniversary Teams. Oh, and he also played in the MLB for nine seasons. He was a .263 career hitter, with 39 home runs, 168 RBI, and 186 stolen bases. Absolute baller.

Honorable Mentions: Roberto Clemente, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, LaDainian Tomlinson, Stan Mikita, Peter Forsberg

20 – Barry Sanders

Photo: Giant Bomb

The twitchiest running back we’ve ever seen, just absolutely stupid stuff. A combo Heisman winner and NFL MVP, the four time first team All-Pro ran for over 15,000 yards and almost 100 touchdowns. Pretty good for a guy who retired early.

Honorable Mentions: Frank Robinson, Mike Schmidt, Gary Payton, Ed Reed, Brian Dawkins

The numbers get lower, and the lists get better. How about 24 and 21 just absolutely cleaning house? All four major sports represented on each. This was a great edition of “Who Wore It Best,” and we can only assume the names will get hotter the next time around.

Who Wore it Best? 39-30

Photo: Dr. Odd

We’re sadly on the downhill turn of “Who Wore It Best.” In this edition, we get into the 30’s.

39 – Dominik Hašek

Photo: NHL.com

Hot start for hockey! Hašek was one of the greatest goaltenders to ever do it. His career spanned four decades (1980-2011), and included two Stanley Cups, two Hart Memorial trophies, and six Vezina trophies.

Honorable Mention: Larry Csonka

38 – Pavol Demitra

Demitra seemed to be on track to becoming one of the best Czech players in the game. He recorded 768 points in 847 games before sadly passing in a plane accident in 2011.

Honorable Mention: N/A

37 – Patrice Bergeron

Photo: CBS Sports

Bergeron has been a steady force for the Bruins since 2003. A part of the 2011 Stanley Cup winning team, Bergeron also made All-Star games in 2015 and 2016.

Honorable Mention: N/A

36 – Jerome Bettis

“The Bus” comes rumblin’, stumblin’, bumblin’ onto our list at 36. Bettis won a Super Bowl (in his home town of Detroit), was a two time first team All-Pro, and made six Pro Bowls.

Honorable Mention: Gaylord Perry

35 – Kevin Durant

An easy choice for what ended up being a stacked slot. Durant is potentially (based on how much you love/hate Lebron) currently the best basketball player on the planet. In a career with plenty of years left, Durant has already put together an incredible resume. The Slim Reaper has two NBA titles (Finals MVP in both), a regular season MVP, six first team All-NBA selections, and 11 All-Star appearances.

Honorable Mentions: Phil Niekro, Frank Thomas, Aeneas Williams, Tony Esposito

34 – Shaquille O’Neal

Another loaded number of selections here, but the most dominant big man of all time takes the cake. The Big Diesel’s career accolades are almost too much to list: four NBA championships, three NBA Finals MVPs, fifteen All-Star games, and eight first team All-NBA selections.

Honorable Mentions: Nolan Ryan, Kerry Wood, Hakeem Olajuwon, Walter Payton, Thurman Thomas, Earl Campbell

33 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

For as much good as Kareem has done off the court, he was as great on it. Six rings, a matching number of MVPs, 10 first team All-NBA selections, five first team All-Defensive teams, and lead the NBA in blocks in four separate seasons.

Honorable Mentions: Eddie Murray, Scottie Pippen, Zdeno Chára, Henrik Sedin, Dustin Byfuglien

32 – Magic Johnson

Photo: Curbed

We all know how good Magic was as a player. For as good as he was on the court, he may have found his true life’s calling as a hot take artist.

Honorable Mentions: Steve Carlton, Sandy Koufax, Marcus Allen, Jim Brown

31 – Greg Maddux

Photo: Taddlr

Maddux is the second of the 90’s Braves big three to make the list, with Tom Glavine making the cut at 47. Mad Dog ended his 22 year career with 355 wins, 18 Gold Gloves, and four Cy Youngs.

Honorable Mention: Reggie Miller

30 – Terrell Davis

Probably going to be our shortest career to make the list. Davis only played in the NFL from 1995-2001, but was good enough to make the Hall of Fame in 2017. In seven seasons, he racked up two Super Bowls, an MVP, and three first team All-Pro selections.

Honorable Mentions: Tim Raines, Martin Brodeur

The 30’s were by far our most expansive edition yet. Huge names and the honorable mention lists were incredible, specifically 32-35. One can only assume the list is going to keep improving into the 20’s.